Used to be weekly-ish but now likely to be occasional musings
Summing it all up
And so another years passes and this site enters its fifth year of existence. Will it pass away slowly into the night or be discovered as the template for a modern age! Are blogs becoming less popular when the Facebooks and Twitters provide such a shorter attention span appeasing, quicker fix?
My entries this year haven't been as in depth as some previous years but that's ok. I think there should still be enough content to keep people entertained, amused or bored. I've only known one person who said they'd read everything on the website so with the 'click thru' nature of the web, it should be able to hold interest for about an hour or so.
I guess the biggest thing of the year was Britain's Got Talent. It was only this time last year that they'd contacted me and I'd decided to give it a go. Little did I know then how it would have turned out. I don't think I could have asked for better exposure in the media and on the telly. Although Cowell was out of line for giving me such short thrift after having got me (well his researchers) to come on the show, I couldn't have asked for a better portrayal from the programme.
There was certainly a genuine fear that they would try and make out I was a desperate arse or just 'not get' the way I was approaching it. Just a shame therefore that although everyone who saw it, liked it, it didn't lead to anything else.
I don't mean by that some sort of contract or paid work. Naturally I never expected that but when you saw some of the other acts getting Youtube hit rates in the 000's of thousands, my 5,000 or so was a little pathetic. I'd hoped that if nothing else it might have driven some more people to the site but it didn't really and despite my articulation of the process, nothing really came of it.
I wish I'd considered and thought of the Trafalgar Square plinth event. There's no saying I would have got it but that could have been a fun experience and taken the Fingerer into the levels of high art!
We did also have Malia, which again although disappointing in terms of the resort of Malia and success with the ladies, did have some bright moments with Hawaiian and Wrestler night and my slightly better physique, which I only bothered attaining just for the holiday.
On the music front we had the elation of getting the tickets for the Jackson concert, only then for the disappointment when he passed away. My most played song of the year on iTunes and one that summed up my cynical, almost apathetic attitude was by the Smashing Pumpkins.
The beginning is the end is the beginning
I also enjoyed Justice, The Game and some more soundtracks.
On the film front, District 9 was definitely the best film and one that is pushing to get in my top 5 all time films. An honourable mention must also go to Moon for being a belter of an original sci fi film. Avatar was very disappointing considering the time I've spent looking forward to it.
Modern Warfare 2 delivered what is was meant to but didn't really advance the cause a great deal. ODST was great fun and offered more than I'd been expecting. It might not have been a full game but it felt more immersive to me than MW2.
The year did end with a weak fluttering of appreciation for my more floral 'Alfie Moon-esqu' shirts but I'm sure this won't lead anywhere.
Looking forward to 2010 I think it could be a tough one. I think the economy is going to take a further battering and things could be hard where I work. We've also got the election, which I'm sure will work me into a frenzy as I single-handedly try and fight the corner for the Tories against an apathetic nation and a biased BBC.
On a lighter note there is Mass Effect 2, Halo Reach and a few others to look forward to on the Xbox 360 (I've just had to get an Elite) and The Expendables, Kick Ass and Tron to look forward to at the cinema.
Thanks for checking in for another year. Hope your 2009 was good and 2010 will be even better.
24th December 2009
Well nearly two months away is pretty poor isn't it? I've been checking back on the site and have added content to some of the other sections but this bit has just got away from me.
It's great to have a record of everything but sometimes putting it all down, and trying to keep it a little fresh, can take some time. Besides which I've been distracted with the purchase of the 50" plasma. For a geek like me, I'm sure you can understand that is a big deal. Once you decide that you want to get one you then have to immerse yourself in that AV world. The plethora of opinions on whether to go LCD or Plasma, the issues of screen burn, image retention, refresh rates, image tearing and 'breaking in'. It's endless and you end up wrapping yourself up in knots about what to do and not to do.
Thankfully the AV forum website (saviour in these times) provided guidance and support and helped me through the hell. Of course in other news there was the Bournemouth trip, Modern Warfare 2, Avatar and a couple of good nights out including one locally where two utter blonde honeys came over to my brother and I. They stopped right next to us in what seemed a remarkably deliberate action before then leaning over and telling me how much they liked my shirt. One of them even touched the shirt whilst saying it.
Now I appreciate this is not a intention of marriage but two complete babes coming over and instigating conversation never happens. My face must have exploded in colour because my cheeks suddenly felt like they were on fire. I complemented her on her own top which was virtually see through, or "revealing" as she described it. Conversation then seemed to peter out.
I was conscious that I needed to chat but the music was loud and everything that popped into my head sounded lame. What can I say, I lost my game. They looked like popular girls moving around the blokes and seeming to embrace or hug many that they seemed to know.
From thinking that maybe they were interested, I began to think we were just new faces who they were curious about rather than actually be interested. We moved onto the Venue in New Cross and after giving a friend the tour bumped into the girls again. She didn't recognise the face but did the shirt.
After 12 years of waiting, Avatar finally arrived in the cinemas and I managed to organise some tickets for us to see it on the Friday night it came out.I have to say that considering the length of time I was waiting for a James Cameron film I was a little disappointed. Yes it was visually spectacular but it was also desperately predictable. I mean it is basically Dances with Wolves meets Apocalypto but not as good as either of those.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Cameron fan and Titanic is my all time favourite film but whereas as in Titanic the effects served the main story, ie that of the sinking ship, in Avatar they controlled the story. You felt James thought of the 3D technique and then thought what would show it off best.
I remember some saying 'why would I want to see Titanic when I know what will happen' but Avatar was so much more predictable ticking all the big budget family action films. Half way through I was still being blown away by all the wonderful neon colours and far reaching vistas but then you felt the air of predictability setting in.
The ostracisation of the main character, him having to win everyone back by taming the wildest horse (sorry dragon thing), doing the 'Braveheart' motivational speech that lacked a little oomph, then the battle which unlike the ones in Braveheart or Last Samurai lacked tactical invention, the 2nd in command buys it, the main female lead gets into trouble, the animals come to the rescue in a Jumanji meets the stampeding cows from Zulu and you get a final standoff between the two main adversaries
It felt so Disney with the age classification really preventing you witnessing anything that might shock you or keep you on the edge of your seat. Who would live, who would die? - You pretty much knew what was happening right up to the sugar coated ending.I think what happened was that Cameron was surrounded by too many 'yes' men. It's understandable really. When you've had the fight that he had with Titanic and been proved so comprehensively correct nobody dared challenge him or question any of the story elements for Avatar. And that's the problem. Having a single minded idea is fine but without refinement or additional input it can be either spot on or wide of the mark.
No different really from George Lucas with the three Star Wars prequels, Quentin Tarantino after Pulp Fiction or Peter Jackson after Fellowship of the Ring dropped. It's like Cameron hasn't been watching films or playing games for the last twelve years. Even worse he assumes that his audience hasn't done the same.
When you've got the likes of Moon and District 9 pushing sci fi in interesting fresh angles, King Kong doing fantasy islands with amazing flora and fauna and computer games such as Halo and Mass Effect weaving fleshed out futuristic stories then Avatar doesn't come across as that ground breaking.
An example would be the heavy handed environmental angle. 5 - 10 years ago it might have seemed fresher but with Hope-enhagen in the news all the time and every negative rain drop attributed to climate change, one does get a little tired of the endless tree hugging. Being one with nature and respecting the fallen animals is nothing new and once again was covered in Dances with Wolves but without the hammering environmental guilt.
Ultimately it was an entertaining film. The 3D was good and the CGI was breathtaking but it wasn't the revelation that I'd been expecting or had been mooted. The idea that it will revolutionise cinema attending and that Lucas wants to re-do some of the Star Wars films with this technique leads me to think, don't bother.
It might be impressive but it doesn't elevate it to the next level. Yes, it's nice to look at but an OK film isn't elevated to brilliant when shown in HD and likewise this technique doesn't patch over a poor story.
For me Avatar didn't have the power or emotional resonance of Titanic and was nothing more than a glorified Disney film that could have been made by any number of other directors.
The mantle of best sci-fi film (and overall film) of the year for me is now securely in the hands of
District 9 for it's creativity, freshness and excitement and Avatar unfortunately slips way down the league of Cameron films.
But anyway, I'm rambling. I'll try and post a longer one soon but until then hope you all have a great Christmas and a wonderful new year.
One final thing. I'm loving this Intel advert. I believe it's been out for a few months now but it's the 'celebrating the geek' angle that I like so much.
It's so cool in a "we know we aren't cool but anyone can be when set to a cracking rock track". I love the bit when the guy points the fingers at the people and shoots them the wink.
Quality.
16th December 2009
So Bournemouth was a good laugh. Brother and I watched District 13 Ultimatum the night before which was good to see. It had the same two guys from the first District 13 and still had the killer moves and lines. The chemistry (even though it's in French with subtitles) between the two still comes across really well. There were a couple of moves that they'd 'liberated' from Tony Jaa but I guess there is only a finite amount of ways you can kick someone and hence I'm sure Tony liberated some of his amazing moves.
Saturday morning came and after throwing some bits in the bag and hitting Sainsbury's for some travelling provisions (sweets, cocktail sausages, drinks etc) we picked up the two guys. The drive down was fine with a cool little mix tape I'd put together. We found the place reasonably well and I don't think it was far, ie on the same road, as the hotel I'd stayed at when I last went to Bournemouth about 15 years prior for a friends stag do.
We checked in and checked out the rooms. They weren't state of the art by any stretch and our bath had some clumsy sealant job where the enamel/plastic had cracked but it was clean and tidy and for the money we were paying I don't think we could have asked for more than that
We grabbed the American football and made our way down onto the beach where we headed up it throwing it backwards and forwards. It was knackering stuff what with 'give' in the sand when trying to run but you really couldn't deny the positive effects of the fresh air. It felt invigorating and so much cleaner than what you had been used to. Stopped in at the main arcade place by the pier for some three play link up driving and then a little air hockey.
Had a mooch round the centre to try and get our rough bearings for the night before heading off back to the hotel when it started to rain. There did seem to be a couple of friendly faces around and you couldn't feel and undercurrent of hostility that some had complained about on trip advisor. To be honest I had taken them with a pinch of salt as I don't think anyone really goes to Bournemouth for the lovely beaches and tranquillity.
Had a female jogger run past us all in white as the heavens opened who gave us a beaming smile which I think amazed us all. Not that we thought that we were in but rather that she had acknowledged us rather than looking down at the floor and trying to ignore us.
Got showered and changed before taking a walk down Old Christchurch Road to Zorbas, the unoriginally named Greek restaurant. Even if the name was clichéd and the interior decoration even more so, the actual food was really good though the exercise and fresh air on my cheeks was taking it's toll and I was pretty ravenous.
Another friend joined us, which impressed me no end as it meant he'd had to drive all the way down from Kent on his own to make the night out. I had totally expected him to bail out but he proved me wrong and managed to join us from the main course onwards.
From here we headed on down to Yates, which had a fair smattering of women, some of whom were wearing fancy dress. I was hitting the drink but once again it was proving harder to take down. I really miss the lack of decent Alco pops. Bring back red reefs you bastards. These do gooding, wine swilling bureaucrats are depriving me of my ability to get properly shit faced!
From here we moved onto a bar/club called Bliss. Again we were getting some eyes from girls including one little minx who just kept staring at me. I was actually embarrassed as she was quite young and I wasn't sure what to say. When she did eventually speak though it was to ask whether I was going to buy her a shot. And there you had it. Of course she wasn't interested or remotely attracted. She just wanted a free drink and I probably looked like the mug to get it for her.
We'd stayed away from what was the biggest club in Bournemouth Lava & Ignite feeling it would be too much like Liquid & Envy in Maidstone. It was like it but is also benefited from a Disco room that played some cracking cheese and hence this is where we found ourselves later in the evening. It was good fun but it didn't seem to be happening for any of us on the lady front, despite the slightly more pleasant atmosphere.
Subway beckoned and I hit the chicken & bacon ranch which I think will be my new 1st choice. It was a little dry and, as I've subsequently discovered, benefits from having some hot tomato in with it. Ate it back at the hotel room while the news channel on the TV announced about David Haye winning one of the heavyweight belts off the giant Russian Valuev. Nice work son.
The price we'd paid included breakfast and although unsure what it was going to be like decided to head on down in the morning and check it out. I'm glad we did because it was surprisingly good. The main room was big and clean and tidy and the food was excellent. Well done bacon, just the right sausages. I was delighted and it made a perfect start to the day. Headed back along the beach for some more fresh air as I didn't want to drive back to early in case I was still feeling the alcohol from the night before.
Mooched around the centre a little more before picking our cars back up and heading off home. The drive back was fine with my brother and a friend giving me a tutorial of the hip hop world. I'd had fears of what it might be like and whether it would be a real hassle but I have to say that the short one night break did me some good.
Following Bournemouth the biggest game release of the year happened in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. It was always going to be massive and it was. The hoopla became so much that I managed to get screwed on the price, so whilst others that had pre-ordered the normal version of the game from Amazon saw it get reduced as Amazon tried to keep up with the supermarkets reduced prices, because I'd gone for the Special Edition which had only been another tenner, it ended up being another £25 more than what they paid.
The game was very good. It took me a little time to get into it and if I'm honest I never got quite as immersed as I do in say a Halo game but it did encourage to stay up until 4.00am on a work night to get it completed. It can be a little frustrating because although it's lots of frenzy and immersion, sometimes you feel that you aren't actually controlling it. Like how on some levels you aren't sure if there an infinite number of re-spawning enemies, meaning that you might as well peg it, or if there are a finite number and in which case you can take your time to clear and kill every single one of them.
The graphics are truly amazing and the sound, written by Hans Zimmer, is really very good. Some of the set pieces are excellent, particularly when the EMP goes off and when you are fighting around the burger restaurants in the almost Red Dawn like scenarios.
The Spec Ops mission, which can be single or two player combat, are cracking and add some real longevity to the game. I have played Spec Ops with my mate and also my brother and have really enjoyed some of them, particularly the one on the rooftop in the snow where one of you is sniping (a favourite pastime of my mate) whilst the others attends to the claymores and targeting the drone strikes. Oh and of course who can forget the Favela scenes. Brilliant fun. Clambering through doors and walls, taking out dogs and crafty little bleeders who react intelligently to your movements proving very worthy adversaries. Good fun and I suppose worth the money of the normal game but I regret spending the extra on the collectors edition.
The following weekend we had another 'empty house' scenario at a friends and hence piled round for a blokish weekend of gaming, DVD's and Dominos. Enjoyed some multiplayer Modern Warfare 2, showed the guys Cannonball Run which they'd never seen before but I think enjoyed (is there any better film to accompany pizza?) before realising that later on that the night was the Pacman vs Cotto fight.
Thankfully our friends folks have the whole package so we stayed up late to watch it. It was a good fight but Pacman was clearly superior and although he didn't humiliate Cotto in the same way he took Ricky Hatton to school, he was the worthy champion with a stoppage on Cotto. They are working on setting a fight up with Mayweather and I so hope it happens and that Pacman gets to destroy the contemptibly arrogant Floyd.
Managed to get in some DVD watching in the intervening weeks including;
Public Enemies - ok but nothing special Paul Blart Mall Cop - good natured and humorous, Fighting - better than expected, The Damned United - very good with a cracking cast, Ghosts of girlfriends past - although a rom com was a great little film with plenty of brilliant lines from Matthew McConnaughy and Michael Douglas as his 'player' uncle, Transformers - knew it was poor but we wanted to see if it had improved since the cinema, it hadn't and finally Revolutionary Road with Leo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet. I really enjoyed this one as it offered a brutally honest look at a relationship with neither party painted in the typical good or bad roles. Stellar acting by both leads and it made me feel so reflective it even encouraged me to go to the gym!
On TV the only I've been really enjoying has been Spook, which has been great entertainment. The amount of content they manage to cram into an hour long episode puts many an American show like FlashForward or Lost to shame. Taut scripts, great soundtracks and a willingness to be brutal and kill people off suddenly if it serves the story.
Also caught Tango & Cash, that I don't think my brother had seen before on TV. Yes it's overblown, cheesy and very 80's but Stallone and Russell have some chemistry and it's got some great lines in it. The soundtrack by Harold Faltermeyer is also pretty damn catchy. Here's a snippet.
On the music front someone lent me the Iron Man soundtrack, which has been good and following my hip hop masterclass on the way back from Bournemouth, my brother recommended I listen to The Game's first album, The Documentary. It's been really good with some cracking tracks on it including the title track, The Documentary and We Ain't with Eminem. My immersion into Hip Hop even led to me enjoying a track called Oh Baby by Serius Jones.
Went out on a Saturday in Maidstone and had a laugh in our usual haunt of Strawberry Moons. There was a bunch of 4 girls upstairs that we gravitated towards and had a laugh with. None of us really tried it on with them but we laughed, joked, danced and even bought them a drink. At one point I even gave one of the girls a card as something had come up about me being on Britains Got Talent. We left before they did and said it had been nice to spend the night.
I'd thought we handled ourselves well. Nothing was going to happen but it had been fun and I thought if nothing else it will show them that you can have fun with blokes without being mauled or hassled. We headed up the road for the usual Subway and on walking back to the car park came up behind them. We hadn't known they were parked in the same place but as we approached I called out "hey girls"
They looked round with a mixture of dread and boredom and I'm sure I heard an "oh god". They then scurried off to their cars without any of them looking back. I was surprised and a little annoyed if honest. Not annoyed because I expected them to be overjoyed as seeing but just at their reaction. We'd treated them with respect in Moons, we'd had a laugh so why were they acting like we were stalking them or being pests. I don't know whether the other guys with us had said something after we left but their contemptuous attitude did nothing for the cynicism I feel towards Women when going out.
It was made all the more strange when on the next day I got an email to my site from one of the girls confirming that after seeing my site she did now believe me that I'd been on Britains Got Talent. She didn't leave a contact email, which is fine, but it was surprising that she would bother to send a line when clearly the previous night our appearance had been so annoying.
The eagle eyed readers will note that I've inserted this entry in, in January but I'mn sure virtually no one will read this entry. If you are one of the amazingly loyal readers then thank you.
Talk soon. Take care.
4th November 2009
Well the nights are drawing in and despite the brief flutter of sunshine we had at the end of September Autumn is definitely here.
One of the designers in the office stumbled across a couple of videos that highlight the kind of ridiculous requests and bullshit that clients sometimes inflict upon us. This might only really be suitable for those within the design field but it might make you laugh and certainly had us in fits.
I particularly like the line "just put together some ideas whilst watching the telly or something"
So I managed to catch Zombieland at the cinema and really enjoyed it. I'd been looking forward to it for some time and it certainly delivered. Satisfying the planning, apocalyptic nerd in me completely. It was funnily gory and inventive and seemed to get to the heart of what it is that fascinates people so much about a Zombie Armageddon.
There are rules and guidelines to adhere to, to ensure survival but it encapsulated the feeling of being able to do anything and destroy anything with impunity. It's only mark against it was the two girls. They were con artists who hoodwinked the two lead characters twice.
Now I'm sure some might say it's because I don't like strong women. I do, it's just I didn't wish they had to be deceitful as all it did was play up to my beliefs that even in those kind of times you wouldn't be able to trust a woman because she would somehow be trying to fuck you over. It almost wanted to reward you that it was better to almost kill anyone you came across before they had a chance to screw you over.
Them aside Woody Harrelson turned in a cracking performance for what was the character of the film and even Bill Murray showed up for a wicked cameo appearance. A solid film that will be worthy of purchase when it comes out on DVD.
The next day we headed round to a friends house. His folks were away and thus it was going to be a day (it evolved into two) of Xbox, DVD's, snacks and pizza. My brother and I took along out Xboxes, loads of snacks and drink and all the relevant cables so we could link up three of them up to a hub. We'd linked up two Xboxes before but never three and I confess we were looking forward to it.
M's parents house was amazing. All the latest gear, linked up systems, hi fi, plasma and LCD TV - the works. It was big, it was spacious and it was wonderfully presented. Sorry, that's the old estate agent in me coming out. Anyway we spent our time setting up all three of the Xboxes. I was in the Master Bedroom on what must have been a 37", M was on the 32" in his bedroom and my brother managed to fathom out all of the wiring etc to be able to use the 50" plasma in the living room.
We had some teething problems making sure they could all see each other and then had to take two of the machines online so they could download a 'patch' to makes the Gears of War 2 versions we were going to play compatible with the one my brother had. Eventually we were all set up and with two playing on mine and two on my brothers had a taste of our first 5 player horde.
It was pretty mental to be honest. Two of the guys were completely new to Gears of War but they coped really well and there was plenty of hollering down the mics of;
"look out for that b*stared", "kill that mother f*cker", "there's one of them amongst us" and "I'm down, revive me".
The time seemed to fly by and everyone seemed to be enjoying the carnage and the chance to shoot, snipe, grenade, rocket or chainsaw some locust scum to death. With our heart rates and testosterone levels charging we had to say goodbye to one of the guys and played some other games before breaking for a much welcome trip to Dominos.
Man we hit that shit hard. A New Yorker, a Meateor and a Pepperoni passion along with garlic pizza breads, chicken kickers and potato skins. The four of us gave a damn good account of ourselves and I think even introduced a new pizza to the other two in the form of the New Yorker.
We fired up the Xboxes again and played some more until about 1ish when one of the guys had to go home. I felt a bit worried that my brother and I might be out staying our welcome but our host was so laid back that you couldn't be sure if he was ok with or not.
Still charged from the killing frenzy, we popped on Warrior King. M had never seen anything with Tony Jaa in and it was great to see how blown he was away by it. Not in his post film analysis but by the "wow's" and "oh my lords" during the actual film as Tony's character beat the living bejesus out of those that got in his way. Really good to see another film fan amazed by something that you consider to be pretty incredible.
We kipped on the sofas which thankfully due to their size were more than up to the task and got back into some gaming the following morning after the necessary cup of morning tea. One of the guys from the previous night turned back up for some more Xbox fun. Watched the guys play Fifa 2010 which ran so smoothly and looked so good that it was almost like watching a couple of short football matches. Then onto some Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare multiplayer split screen madness.
After he left we checked out Dog Soldiers before returning to Horde on Gears of War 2 with all three consoles linked up. It was great fun. Scouted around for what there was for dinner and found a chicken roast in the freezer that we defrosted and popped in the oven. The only accompaniments we could find were a couple of tins of sweet corn, some Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire puddings, a bag of frozen roast potatoes and a fifth of a pot of gravy powder.
I did the best I could and have to say that the chicken was pretty damn nice. It was moist, succulent and tasty. The Yorkshire puds were also good but the roasties were a little dry and the sweet corn barely palatable. But that's the fun of fashioning something from limited supplies isn't it? Finished the night up with the awesome Leon or The Professional as it's known in the US (thought I'd put that in for the multitude of US readers that I have).
Had a really good time. It was totally indulgent, totally lazy and totally blokey. Bliss.
During the following week the news was full of how the 4th plinth event that had been running in Trafalgar Square was coming to an end after 100 days. Basically an artist had put forward the idea of a living exhibition in using the empty 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square to be filled with volunteers going up on the plinth for an hour and using it to express themselves.
I remember hearing something about it when it was launched but not a massive amount. It was only as it came to an end that the idea that I should have put my name down dawned on me. In total there were 35,000 applicants to fill the 2,400 places but can you imagine doing an hour of the Hooded Fingerer in Trafalgar Square?
That would have been so damn cool. When I looked into some of the plinthers who did little more than just stand there, the notion of going out in full Fingerer regalia and air guitaring for 60 minutes would have been awesome. I don't think I could have played music due to licensing/performing rights etc but if I'd just had an iPod playing in one ear it would have looked great. The red leotard from a distance as maybe people tried to guess what it was I was actually strumming to would have been a real laugh.
My friends and I could have put our collective brains together to work out how we could turn the plinth into a rock stage in record time, we could have put some banners up along the side and I could have thrown out badges to the waiting masses. Of course it would have been unlikely that I would have got selected or if I had, received a Tuesday 4.00am slot but what an experience it would have been.
I could have written about it on here, it would have taken the art to the next level (I say that jokingly as I haven't gone all pretentious on it!) and it could have been the next level of exposure for The Hooded Fingerer after BGT. What a wasted opportunity.
My brother had brought to my attention Shakira's latest song, She Wolf, which is fun little track. The video though is amazingly sexy. She is a little flat chested for me to find her out and out sexy and the latter half of the video where her dancing is pretty strange and almost resembles that of the girl from The Ring but the early part is something else.
If her little wolf howls and breathless panting aren't sexy enough the dexterity of her legs when she's 'hanging' off the cage or when she pulls her bum/hips slowly up off the floor are. Add to that and her hair looks just wonderful. I know that sounds a little gay and I'm not normally a fan of long hair as it gets in the way but when hers is hanging down it looks so soft and grab holdable!
Hooked up with the girls from Canterbury that we'd met at Strawberry Moons a few weeks back. It was on the Friday meaning that 'dust off' time was a little later as everyone had to get back from work etc. My brother drove and after a pit stop for some drinks for the journey we blasted on down. With three bottles of those Archers alco-pops (I know they are responsible for the breakdown of society but I like them) I was feeling pretty pumped and proceeded to dominate the conversation when we all got together down at the pub.
I know I can be pretty boisterous but this is magnified a little when I've had a few drinks inside me and within virtually two questions I was instigating questions about sex and toilet habits. I can't help it for I love talking about these kind of things as they are the topics that people don't normally talk about!
From here we took a quick walk to another bar/club where I was complimented on my flowery shirt on two occasions. Got the girls some drinks and then started chatting to a couple of German girls who instigated some conversation at the bar. Had the opportunity to teach them the Aftershock Clock, which should always be taken when presented with that chance. They were really interesting girls, both over in Canterbury to study a final year in their respective History and Biology course.
You have to hand it to their intelligence and industriousness that they could come to another country and complete a final year in what is a second language for them. They headed off and I returned to the group just as the DJ began to drop some decent tunes and I could play the court jester trying to ensure that everyone was entertained and enjoying themselves.
I even had some girl in a very silky shiny dress start rubbing up and down me. The area was a little exposed for me to exploit this welcome event and as she was also a little tipsy I pushed her over to one of the other guys for her to grind up against. Headed outside for the usual mini cab jostle and grabbed one to the nearest kebab-erie to the girls house. I went for my usual and had a ridiculously funny moment when the guy handed me the polystyrene container, within which was the donor meat and chips drizzled in burger sauce.
I drunkenly leaned over to two random girls, popped the lid with my thumb and as it swung open like a coffin lid a cloud of meat condensation lifted up from the sweaty, glistening food. The girls reactions as they turned away and almost gagged was priceless and could probably be the death knell for me getting this type of end of night fare. Walked back to the girls house but as they had paired up with their boyfriends and ex's suddenly we, who'd entertained them for most of the night, were surplus to requirements.
Stayed long enough for a quick lag before we bundled into the car and headed back home. Conversation was good and analysis of the night went well. I must confess that I was shattered on the way back and was doing everything to stay awake as I don't think it fair for someone to drive while everyone sleeps.
Got in and gratefully crashed out though I was then up like a shot at 7.30 thinking I had to go to work. Because my brother and one of the others had to work on the Saturday, I must have got it in my head that it was Friday, instead of Saturday. Hence I had to have a 'moment of clarity' in the bathroom when I realised that I didn't need to go to work. That momentary second of initial realisation was pretty damn sweet.
Hit the sack and didn't wake up again until 3.30pm. Wonderful. Then it was some Need for Speed shift, which is a pretty good racer the more I play it. Caught a couple of films, which were entertaining. First up was In the Loop, a British political comedy which was sharp and intelligently written. Followed this with Sex Drive, which although formulaic was funny and enjoyable. Good to see the guy who played Cyclops in the X Men getting some additional work, even if his brief was clearly to be an even worse Stifler. The scene when he 'loses it' with the garage door is fabulous.
Sunday was a double sport header with MotoGP in Philip Island, good to see Stoner romp home, and then a genuinely exciting Brazilian Grand Prix with drivers actually over taking each other. It culminated in Mark Webber winning the race and Jenson Button winning the overall championship. Bravo to him I say. Also watched State of Play with Ben Affleck and Russell Crowe which was exactly how it was described a "taut, political thriller".
Rounded off the weekend by going to see Ong Bak 2: The Beginning which was ok. We were the only people in the cinema. I had read that it had had some difficulties in filming and these seemed to translate to the film. Granted Tong Jaa's previous films haven't been Oscar contenders but the story was certainly weaker and the film a little too focused on showing masses of Thai culture. Yes, that's very rich but I don't see a Jaa film for a 5 minute Thai dance sequence. It did have some good fights, particularly one that resembled Jackie Chan's Drunken Master.
It's been some time since I've enjoyed some really good trance. I like to download a Manuel le Saux DJ mix about once every three weeks so there aren't too many repeats on them. The tracks on there are always of a good quality but sometimes a track comes along which has the power to shake me out of the rut and have me bouncing up and down on my chair pumping my fist out. The track that did this is below and it rocked.
It won't be everyone's cup of tea but it's got a great melody and a really uplifting theme. It got me right back into the scene and wishing that I was going out clubbing, enjoying the music, the lasers and the atmosphere. I'm not too old that I can't still bust some moves but my last few excursions into that world always seemed to leave me a little disappointed and I'm not sure what it is I should go for if I were to give it another go. Maybe I just have to wait until Manuel le Saux is DJ'ing over here, though that would probably require a trip up north.
But what am I saying? That's do-able. I'm not dead. The trouble is when you make the effort and it disappoints, it almost pushes you even further away. Of course what would be great would be to win the lottery and be able to jet off to see him play at his many worldwide gigs.
It's been an interesting time for online debating with the BNP appearing on Question Time and the death of Stephen Gateley from Boyzone prompting some heated exchanges on some of the forums I frequent. I've laid out my thoughts in other sections on the site.
There have been some good adverts out that I've seen recently. On the TV side of things I really like the Asda one with all the little Christmas observations, my favourite of those being the black guy who's pissing himself laughing at the joke in the cracker whilst everyone else is not amused.
On the billboard side of things, the latest McDonalds adverts are really great and generate a real 'smile in the mind'. Two posters (I believe there are others) one with a big image of a quarter pounder and the line 'Salivation is nigh' and another one of some fries with a hand coming in to pinch one and the line 'Beware of pick packets'. Brilliant.
Almost coming to an end for you guys slogging through this!
I just had to buy recently the Episodes from Liberty City expansion disc for the Xbox. My brother had downloaded the first one, The Lost and the Damned, and said it was really good but the trailer for the second one, The Ballad of Gay Tony, looked so damn good. Here's another youtube video for you.
The way it's set to the dance music and seems to highlight on clubbing, women, cars and destruction is just so up my alley. It's probably one of the best game trailers I've seen for some time. Not for it's showcasing of it's graphics but just for the energy with which it's put together and the mood of being just like a film trailer.
It received stellar reviews and my brother, trying to keep in check his enthusiasm in giving away too much described it as "good, very good". For my brother who isn't always as over the top as myself I knew that translated into fabulous. You get both downloads on the one disc and even though I haven't finished Batman Arkham Asylum, even dented Need for Speed shift and have Modern Warfare 2 fast approaching on the horizon, I just had to get it.
It's frustrating knowing when to have the time to play them. As you can see I rarely seem to get round to updating this site, I can't be arsed to head home until late during the week because I can't stand the evening traffic jams and come the weekend, it always seems too much of a guilty pleasure sitting on my arse playing games when I could be at the gym trying to curb the weight which is slowly returning to my midriff.
Saw the Michael Jackson film "This is It" and it was pretty damn good. Went with my brother, as we were both down to go to the concert back in August had he still been around. The film contained rehearsal footage and the preparation that went into making the concerts a reality. It showcased what an awesome concert it would have been.
I liked how it showed that contrary to all the reports that were going around, Jackson was getting ready for them and that he was strong enough to lift his arms. It really showed that whereas some might assume Michael might get his people to prep everything and him just turn up, he was always leading from the front in what he wanted and how polished the performance should be.
Reading the papers, you would believe that he was so fragile and closeted from the real world that you wouldn't expect him to be throwing himself onto the ground or laughing at a musician saying he should give a song a little "more booty".
Considering his dancers must have been in their twenties, he was clearly keeping up with them and despite looking thin still had the magic and talent to be able to throw the moves and hold his own. He wasn't afraid to throw himself on the floor and some of the bending moves and falling to his knees I don't think I'd be able to create and I'm 12 year younger than him. You could certainly understand the awe that his dancers held him and the reason why he was their inspiration.
It reminded us that he was still a man but just an incredibly talented one. His voice was still incredible and his sense of timing and ear for perfection were still right on the button. They had prepped an awful lot for the film, shooting new footage for Thriller, Don't care about us and Earth Song to name a few. The makeup and costumes they'd done for Thriller looked breath taking and I'm sure it would have been my favourite piece of the concert.
It also showed how the concert was treating every song as an individual entity with it's own dance or routine. Instead of thinking "We'll come out, nail one big one and then piggyback three more onto it", you could see that each song would benefit from a tailor made performance.
I'd always said that I would have been happy with going to the concert and it being two hours of other people dancing to his music with Michael coming on for the final 10 minutes, doing a moonwalk and throwing his hat into the crowd. This film showed that it would have been far more than that and hence why I think many would have been blown away by it.
I was pleased that the audience I saw it with were all fairly respectful and that even three or four groups remained along with my brother and I to the bitter end. I don't know if they were waiting to see any final bits, whether they wanted to pay their respects in the only way left or like us two were just letting the film sink in. Sometimes I don't want to get up and race away. Sometimes I want to savour the experience and dwell on what it is I'm thinking without concerning myself with being the first one out or wanting to get on the road quickly.
The following day I hooked up with some people that I'd met through one of the forums I go on who had a similar passion for Michael. I headed round to their gaff and we watched some Jackson videos, talked about him and our experiences of his music, before heading over the road to watch it again. My brother couldn't make it that night and hence why I'd seen it with him the night before.
I'm glad I did because the viewing experience was marred by a small screen, dodgy sounding speakers, kids dancing in the aisles, the guy in front attempting to answer his mobile phone, a woman behind talking loud enough behind that she must have thought she was in her living room and another person commenting so loudly that he ended up being thrown out. No surprise that with all that it was an Odeon cinema. Yes the one with the desperately inaccurate motto Fanatical about Film.
It was nice to meet the people and chat about a shared passion. For once I felt confident about myself when I'd gone along. I looked ok, took along some bits to be the perfect guest and was happy to talk on something that I had a firm interest and opinion in. One of the party shared an incredibly similar appreciation of films, to the point of knowing about the films of Brandon Lee and admitting that his appreciation of Michael started at a later point than when most people jumped in. I gave him a card of the website so fingers crossed he takes a gander and finds some material that he might find enjoyable.
It was a nice evening but I know when I walked back to my car practically every other house seemed to be enjoying a Halloween party and like the feeling of non-inclusion that I get when I think everyone is at summer BBQ's, I couldn't help but question why I wasn't at any of these fancy dress parties. My brother and I straddle two age generations and I think are great party material, yet how can we be outside the 'party' circuit so much?
Finally, I think I'm going off Flash Forward. The premise was good but it's beginning to get bogged down in the filler stuff and adding additional characters without really furthering the story. As well as the tedious feel good Indie style guitar song that they bring in around the 48 minute mark to bluntly remind you that here comes the 'sensitive' bit they are also starting to end episodes on cliff hangers, that they don't bother addressing in the following episode.
I fear it might be going down the Lost road and I might starting fading off it. Spooks however has returned on a Wednesday so that might keep me occupied one evening a week.
I'm off to Bournemouth this Saturday with my brother and his mates to celebrate one of the gangs birthdays. It might be okay but I'm trying to keep my expectations low so I can be pleasantly surprised. Downside is that it will be the predictable nonsense of everyone knowing everyone else and none of us chatting to anyone. The upside is that we manage to chat to a bunch of buxom girls celebrating their 21st who've always wanted to spend time with a bunch of slightly older, great blokes!
I'm sure the post trip critique will be summed up in disappointing language but at least you can be sure that you'll have to wait a month to read it!
Thanks for swinging by. Take care.
8th October 2009
What's that then, over a month off? Awful isn't it? For those eagle eyed readers I did add some new content to the other sections to keep you ticking over a few weeks back and have added some more this time around but confess to being a little lax on the journal. Thanks for Kim for the polite kick in the bottom.
So what exciting things have I failed to report? First off the moustache has gone. It was fun to have but it was getting annoying round the edges and a pain to maintain. It might come back some day but for all those girls desperate to get in touch but traumatised by the thought of the tash, it is no more.
On one day at work I had to drive across town to drop off one of our Mac's at our IT guy. The journey was fine. It was sunny, I had some bangin' trance on and the Focus ST performed magnificently.
As I queued at some lights I saw this old guy come sauntering down the pavement. His hair was yellow but more from working mens club smoke rather than Richard Harris blond locks. He was however wearing a blazer which I thought afforded him some dignity. He blew his nose and after checking the contents of his tissue, pitched it into a nearby bin. He then stopped to look in the bin before reaching down and pulling out a corn on the cob on a stick.
Now this thing had been picked clean like it had been in a pigeon aviary yet this guy was studying it for any trace of nourishment. Unfortunately I had to pull off before I could see what he did with it. Maybe he threw it back in but by the way he was looking at it he was clearly contemplating popping it in his mouth and sucking out the goodness!
Taking a half finished burger I could maybe understand as at least there is something left but a corn cob that has been completely destroyed by another persons mouth with all the mouth juice that must involve, is too much. Probably the worst example of bin scavenging I've ever seen.
I've seen a few films at the cinema over the past month. I'd been looking forward to The Hurt Locker and it was good but not as good as I'd hoped. It was certainly a gritty portrayal of life in Iraq but it felt like a very loosely connected sequence of scenes. Granted, the scenes were very good and well played but without the day countdown I'm not sure if the film would have had any forward momentum.
The first scene with Guy Pearce attempting to defuse the bomb and the quality of the explosion with the rust coming up off the car in slow motion was amazing and I thought how the film might progress. It seemed to loose itself in dead ends and 'go nowhere' cameos. Good but not great.
The next film however was something special and resulted in me seeing it twice at the cinema. District 9
If you haven't seen the film
I had high hopes for the film after seeing the directors work in the Halo short film and had deliberately avoided all but the first teaser trailer to avoid ruining any surprises.
I left the cinema pumped as I was after the likes of Rambo, Ong Bak, The Last Samurai, T2. Hands down the film is just plain fantastic. Eschewing the normal stars and glamorised locations keeps the audience on your toes as does the showing the aliens from the very beginning, instead of shrouding them in darkness which would be the normal route.
It's documentary style makes the events so grounded in reality that you easily engage with the story. It's matter of fact presentation allows you to take it on board on a more visceral level as opposed to the usual A, B, C of movie exposition.
The music used worked brilliantly. Never intrusive but always perfectly complimentary. The sound effects gave everything a real world tangibility that was breath taking. The FX were outstanding. The acting from the relevant players was wonderfully executed and proof if needed that with a good story and direction, you don't need million dollar actors.
If you have seen the film. SPOILERS AHEADSuch a gob smackingly good film. Truly wonderful. It's a crime that there must have been only 30 or 40 people in the cinema last night. This is a fantastic film that needs to be seen at the cinema and which needs to be a success to show that bravery, creativity and a different vision of film making can succeed.Certainly the best film that I've seen this year if not longer.
The main character is an engaging, average chap who clearly is from the mindset that working hard and fulfilling the quota of appraisal forms and quarterly reports etc is the way to proceed in life. Hence why he has a sense of duty and doing the right thing by his employers and people until the evidence of their betrayal of him becomes too much.
The films structure to me just seems to be so fresh and creative. Polished to a very high standard but so different to the normal big bang, no substance fare that we normally receive (Transformers 2, GI Joe, Star Trek etc)
The reality feel to the film is so strong that when they came to cut him open and harvest his organs I genuinely thought he was a gonna.Then when the film moved into the 'action' element it had me even more hooked. There was just so much mind bendingly clever stuff in it that had me rooting for the characters, whooping with delight and continued amazement / wonderment at what I was watching on the screen.
The final hour or so of the film when it has Wikus breaking into the MNU facility, heading back to the ship and the battles between the mercs and Nigerians was amazing. Only surpassed with my joy when he clambered into the mech suit and started laying down some hurt. The scenes when he was protecting Christopher whilst they shot at him and he desperately tried to respond reminded me of Robocop, Rocky and other scenes that I've always loved. That fighting valiantly onwards against impossible odds and not giving up.
I went into 'sponge' mode after seeing it and reading loads of reviews. The best quote to summate the film was from Sky Movies -
"In an era of account-sanctioned, bloated blockbusters and a wearying culture of risk avoidance and deadening formula, Neill Blomkamp's sublime blast of cutting-edge sci-fi hits you like a lightning bolt."
Loved it and can't wait to own it on DVD.
Being September I had a couple of birthdays to contend with. Namely my own and my brothers. I got some nice bits, DVD's, smellies etc.
Went to Maidstone to celebrate that weekend and it delivered as usual. Hit Strawberry Moons and I do feel that it has a better atmosphere in there. People seem to be more up for a laugh and it doesn't having the clicky, stand offish mood that some other venues have. Bumped into someone I hadn't seen for like 10 years which was cool. She went down well with my brother and mates, who all seemed to like her. There were some other nice girls in there including a couple that seemed to head on over and dance particularly close.
Maybe this was down to my brother, who in typical awesome fashion disappeared off to then return with a bottle of Bollinger champagne. It was so expensive that he'd had to go out and get some more cash out. You gotta love him.
After the club we hit the kebab shop down the road for the classic donor meat and chips with burger sauce. I love the simplicity of the request. It's meat and it's chips. Quite simple and quite basic but does the job.
Coming out of summer, the run up to Christmas begins with the release of some games and first out of the trap was Batman: Arkham Asylum which received some glowing reviews. My brother ended up getting it for me for and I have to say that it's pretty good. You can see that the game is made by real fans of the franchise and benefits from the voice work of Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill, who did such good work on the animated series. I had my doubts but the detecting, takedowns and stealth work can be quite good fun.
I had to stop it half way through so I could turn my attention onto Halo 3: ODST. As is usual with Halo games it had a fabulous live action trailer, which you can see here.
I've really enjoyed the game and for those interested, you can read my thoughts about it in the gaming section. A section that must be one of the most visited on my site along with that other classic Clothing & Fragrances!
Whilst engaging in Halo 3: ODST I did afford myself the luxury of some R&R when my brother and I went out locally for a drink up to kinda celebrate our birthdays where we could both get drunk. We tried to kick start the night with a couple of drinks including a couple of Absinthe from this glass 'bong' that a friend had bought me.
I never like to pop the shirt on until I walk out the door but it might have been wise on this occasion. It's not particularly flattering to my flabby belly but what the hell! The just about controlled 'gag' at my second swallow is almost as funny as my brother's barely audible "Eye of the tiger" as he moves up to the awful, but in a way ridiculously brilliant, wall painting.
Despite this and another Baileys / Absinthe shot that had to be held down neither of us were feeling the alcohol that night. Every drink whether a V&O or Archers & Lemonade was heavy going and I guess some nights you can't get pissed. The only female interaction was a girl telling me that my white, black and pink paisley Lewin shirt was "horrible and should never be worn in public" and then some other random who started chatting about something and when I attempted to extract Ant and myself by saying we were going to the bar said "yeah, we'll have two Smirnoff Ices". Yeah right oh love, jog on.
Needless to say the highlight of the evening was the 'chips and meat' from a nearby Kebab shop. My obsession will burn out soon enough but I did enjoy walking home with my brother, slightly drunk but not as much as we'd wanted chowing down on some nosh. I'm not a big fan of walking and eating but what I like about chips and meat is that it comes in one of those polystyrene boxes and I like to get a fork.
This means that not only can you consume with dignity and not have burger sauce dripping down your fingers or round your mouth but you can also use the fork to point out pertinent objects that might relate to the rambling, semi drunken conversation you are having. Washed down with a water or soft drink it's my current post night out 'wind down'.
We had two sets of clients coming to the office in the week just gone. It was pretty draining. Not in the running around but just with wanting to manage their expectations and ensure that they had a good time. Our office is a wicked place and I for one certainly wanted them to like it. As it is we couldn't have asked for more and they liked it to the point of kicking back for a good few hours with some wine and nibbles.
The week had started with the tightening of the throat so by the time Friday night came a cold had pretty much grabbed me. Of course I handled it like a real man and didn't whinge on about it but it did mean that Saturday morning consisted of a long lay in.
That night a friend of my brothers had arranged for us to meet up with a friend of his who was going to be out celebrating her 21st with about 12 or 13 or her mates. You don't need to repeat that kind of invitation twice so I picked everyone up and we hit Maidstone. The boys cracked down a Firewater and we met the girls in one of the bars. The birthday girl seemed very friendly and we sorted her out with a shot. She claimed to not be drunk but then asked which one was the older brother out of me and Ant. Bless her, I think she was just being kind.
Got chatting to one or two of the other girls and I seemed to be on 'bubbly' form as I tried to break down those natural barriers which can sometimes go up. We moved onto an upmarket club (or so it considers itself) and were chatting away in the queue when the bouncer rather rudely said
"there's no point in queuing as I'm not letting in anymore blokes".
So that was that. We stepped out of the queue and moved up the road. It was a little frustrating, especially with the 'understanding' tone that the bouncer had taken. We decided we might as well head to Strawberry Moons and then one of the guys got a phone girl. There is a god and justice does sometimes prevail, for the birthday girl whilst queuing up to go in, had tripped and fallen over the braided rope.
Again I'm sure this wasn't down to the alcohol in her bloodstream but rather the 3 inch heels she was wearing. Anyway, the bouncers already having displayed their tolerance told her and her mates that they wouldn't be letting them in and hence they headed up the road towards us. Birthday girl was a little down about this but I don't think it could have worked out better.
We all headed upstairs where the girls snagged a couple of tables and booths and to get things going I slammed down a couple of fishbowls telling the girls it was from us to them. It helped break the ice a little more but the 'ring of steel' started to form back up and it took me and another guy to puncture it. It was a really good night. There weren't really any opportunities though I'm sure I'm too old for all of them but we all seemed to keep them entertained and laughing.
Because of the party vibe and music played in Moons the atmosphere was a lot more fun and relaxed. If we had got into the other place we've would have hardly talked to the girls. I think I was most pleased that the guy who'd arranged it had probably sold us up a little and I'm glad that we didn't let him down. You want to be proud of your mates and I know sometimes it can be frustrating if you introduce them and then they do nothing or say nothing. At least we showed that we could be good company, just as many of the girls were.
After saying goodbye to them I'm still not over my 'chips and meat' thing so had to enjoy one of those, though the constant rainfall interfered with the slow saunter back to the car that I like to engage in!
Sunday was relaxing as ever. MotoGP, F1 and the Knowing which my brother had got for me on DVD. I still really like it. Some have called the ending a little silly but it worked for me and the slow impending panic and realisation through the film was great to watch. Caught the repeat of the new Flash Forward programme on Channel 5, which was really good.
I was a little wary with all it's comparisons to Lost for that was an intriguing concept that just got lost somewhere up it's own arse but this seemed to deliver. It had a good balance of setting up the idea but without so much exposition that you didn't feel you actually got anything. The second episode the next night continued the level of quality and I think I will have to commit to checking it out. As I said to some friends you almost need it to be popular enough that they continue funding it and don't suddenly pull it mid-season but not so popular that they realise they have a cash-cow on their hands and attempt to string it out over 10 long years.
In other news a trailer for the forthcoming Assassins Creed II alerted my brother and I to a wicked piece of music. My brother did a little more digging and the track was revealed to be called Genesis by Justice. Here it is.
Anyway we couldn't stop humming it so he bought the Live album which also came with a DVD of their tour in the US. Man it was brilliant. The video was really entertaining and the music is just awesome. The tour bus driver and his attempts to hit the lowest of notes, their gun obsessed manager or even the ending with the guys being carted off in a cop car after smashing a bottle over some rowdy guys head made for some cracking Friday night viewing.
My brother was a little worried about having got the Live album but it works so well and I borrowed it and listened to it non stop for about two weeks. Eventually I had to give it back but not before I'd burnt it onto my iTunes. I'd say the last 4 or 5 weeks have been dominated by the 360 (Halo:ODST & Batman AA), the music of Justice, the brilliance of District 9, Donor meat and chips and a re-surgence of my political affiliations as the political conference season kicked in and I caught a couple of consecutive and enjoyable Newsnights.
I think that is everything for the time being. I should be off to see Zombieland on Friday night and am then heading round a friends empty house with my brother on Saturday for a mammoth 'boys day' of Xbox, snacks, pizza and movies.
Thanks for checking in and I'll try not to leave it so long next time!
26th August 2009
Hit the gym for a rare, well certainly rare since the Crete holiday, mid week session. The fingerer tash was still in it's full glory but I'm usually glaring and head down in the gym so it would only further augment my feeling of isolation.
I'd been chatting to someone online who liked to regularly bang in 10 miles around the 45 minute mark and I was curious to see how I'd fare against that time. I know by best 5 mile time was 22.10 which might not be great in the cycling world but was a push for me. I have the resistance on the bike at 6 but I don't think it works the same as gears do on a bike and is just a flat means of resistance.
So after a 15 minute go on the running machine, I hit the bike and managed to do the 10 miles in 46 - 47 minutes. I couldn't be quite sure as for some unknown reason the bike would only let me set a maximum distance of 9.3 miles! I also did a few more weights than usual to try and mix things up a little.
During the week Daniel Hannan, a Conservative MEP who'd made a scathing and deserved attack on Gordon Brown, spoke out about the NHS. He was in America and they were asking his opinion bearing in mind the current health reforms that Obama is trying to push through in the US. He was less than flattering about our system and this led to him receiving a torrent of abuse in being accused of maligning the people that worked within the service, for being ambitious and attention seeking and was branded unpatriotic by Labour ministers desperate to deflect some heat from their continued mis-running of the country.
The criticisms of him really pissed me off. We moan that our politicians don't stand for anything anymore, yet when one has the courage to speak with conviction about his opinion we lampoon him and tell him to get back in his box. Surely the whole thing of politics is to be looking at ways to improve things and putting forward new ways of thinking. I don't agree with the views of Tony Benn or George Galloway but at least I respect them for their conviction and belief in what they are proposing.
The NHS needs reform and the only way to do it, or at least start this, is to talk about it. Politicians are always making empty gestures about the need for 'frank and honest' debates on thorny subjects (just as they say when trying to divert attention from issues of race, immigration, benefits etc). The trouble is that when someone does have the courage to stand up and express an opposing opinion (whether you agree or not) they receive hysterical cries of being unpatriotic and uneducated.
Some of the figures for the NHS are staggering. A budget of over £90 billion and the 4th or 5th largest employer in the world at 1.3 million people. This being just a part of the 6.02 million that are currently employed by the state. Does anyone else find these figures (and dependence on the state as an employer) worrying?
I hear people say that we are lucky to have the NHS, yet I don't know if they remember that it isn't actually free? It's not a gift, it's not a perk. It's something we pay for through taxes and NI. Now I've nothing against that contribution and believe the NHS has a purpose. However, it is not above criticism and needs to be looked at.
If you pay for something, you expect decent service or value for your money. To me that seems natural and understandable. Whenever this is mentioned about the NHS, we suddenly get all blind and protective. Like a parent who knows that their child is naughty but refuses to believe it when hearing it from a teacher.
Likewise if any one talks of cuts or reforms, the left dramatically scream that it's going to lead to life support machines being switched off and babies being chucked out of incubators. The core value of the NHS needs to remain but the bureaucracy needs to be trimmed and some of the non-essential treatments re-considered.
The bias against his piece on the BBC was also a little disturbing as it was the lead item on the 9 O'clock news. Let's put that into perspective. Here's an MEP of a party that isn't even in power and who readily admits that his views aren't shared by the Leader of his party. He's grumbled about the NHS and because Labour are desperate to score some points about the Tories and trot out the old line "Conservatives hate the NHS" it gets top billing.
15 - 20 minutes later in the news we have an article about Lord Mandelson (the unelected prick who is so corrupt that's he had to resign twice yet is still in power) giving a financial bail out to Airbus when he hasn't done the same to other companies in difficulty. Now maybe it's perfectly legit but given the man's track record and fondness for a free lunch, I'd say this story could benefit from more airtime and journalist research.
You can check out Dan Hannan's blog here if interested.
On Friday night we watched Green Street Green 2: Stand your ground. We knew it was never going to win any prizes for subtlety or exploring the deeper recesses of the human condition but following some fish and chips what better than to witness regular swearing and thugs fighting each other? It even had in it the shaven headed mercenary from Rambo and he's always worth seeing. Funny enough the rival supporters in the film are that of West Ham and Millwall, who in real life met recently and carried out the same kind of actions. Art imitates life and then life imitates art. Not that I'd describe Green Street Green as art.
Watched another film on the Saturday called Welcome to the Jungle. It was very much Blair Witch meets Deliverance but it wasn't bad. Hit the gym later that day and I wanted to see if I could improve my 5 mile time. The same person who could manage 10 miles in 45 mins also said they could do 5 miles in 15 minutes on an exercise bike. I was flabbergasted by that time as it equated to a mile in 3 minutes, which is motoring. I gave it my best shot but didn't even get close. I did however manage to shave a minute and 20 seconds off my best, which wasn't bad. I've subsequently tried to get below the 20 minute mark but I was some way off despite feeling like I was really giving it some.
I think the problem is that with the resistance not being related to a higher gear I don't see how you can bring you speed up. I mean there is only so many revolutions that you can do. I was gassed after that and at one point during the 'push' my stomach had been churning like a good 'un. Banged in some more weights before heading home for a long old bath.
My brother and I had decided that we were going to head out locally that night and get drunk. I had the big decision of whether or not to keep the Fingerer moustache. Few women seem to like it but it does encourage conversation and opinion, hell even my local bakers who I must go in like once every 6 weeks or so, commented on it. I could shave it off but wouldn't that make me disappear further into the background?
It's not like we had a huge amount of success whenever we went out locally so I decided to hell with it and that I would keep it. My brother headed up after work and after scoffing down some beans to the side of toast we started hitting the alcohol. We had some music playing as we started to put together different combinations of shots with ingredients such as red Absinthe, Vodka, Baileys and even some DiSarrano. All of this was accompanied by a couple of vodka and oranges to help get it down.
Yes, it was binge drinking and is responsible for the breakdown of society but we had the stuff at home and we wanted to get drunk. Grabbed a cab to the town and hit the Wetherspoons there. Grabbed a couple more drinks along with a red aftershock and started discussing films and computer games. It was geeky but when you are getting drunk you can tap into the emotional memories of watching the films or playing the games far easier, which adds some real colour to the conversation.
We moved onto the bar and continued the conversation onto favourite Michael Jackson songs. Alcohol can be great can't it? That warmth and pressure in your cheeks combined with the relaxed and carefree feeling can be really enjoyable when experienced in moderation. We headed downstairs and were delighted to see our favourite DJ in there which meant we should be up for some good tunes.
Made our way further into the club bit and had only been standing there for like five minutes when two girls commented on our t-shirts and we started chatting to them (further proof that the silly t-shirts can work). I was amazed to be honest. Neither of us had clocked them or had tried to chat them up. When I think of the times we might have headed downstairs before and could spend an entire night without a girl even looking in our direction it was incredible.
Maybe that highlights the deeper meaning of when you look you don't find. Or maybe that when you are drunk you give off this almost indifferent vibe. Either way they were chatting to us and as I was wearing the 'Obsessed by movies, breasts and spag bol' t-shirt I talked about bolognaise recipes. Again it's funny how over enthusiastic you can become about everything when drunk because the fact that she used red onions blew me away and I might have acted a little too impressed!
I don't know how long we all talked for though I do remember her age coming up and she asked me how old I thought she was. I'm always dreadful at these and the fact that she was the sister of the one talking to my brother I said 28. She was in fact 22. I apologised profusely and we moved outside for someone to have a cigarette.
The air hit me and must have accelerated by descent into drunkenness. Something came up about the Hooded Fingerer which I gabbled on about but I must have been drunk because I didn't even mention my moustache, and neither did they amazingly, and that would have been ripe for some hilarity. The final thing with them I remember was starting to talk about something and then forgetting what is was half way through.
Understandably the girl politely excused herself to go and talk to her friend and we moved back in when my brother and the girl he was chatting to wanted to. I was now feeling pretty blasted and things became a blur. I let him carry on doing his thing whilst I nursed a bottle of water. When I say nursed, I mean kept squeezing the plastic bottle in and out in a vain attempt to pull myself back.
It was no good and after another 10 minutes when I wasn't even really aware of those around me, I told my brother that I had to go and left him to do his thing. Normally I wouldn't leave my brother under any circumstances but I didn't want to screw up his chances with the girl and he looked like the drink wasn't affecting him in the least.
I pushed back through the crowd, think I gave a nod to the DJ and started the walk back. God there was some weaving and staggering. I'm sure it's hilarious to watch though thankfully I didn't break into any running. There are few things funnier than a drunk running as it always looks more like someone fighting the gravity of falling forwards rather than actual running.
There were times on the walk where I'd see my feet stagger into the road unaware how I'd let it happen or dramatically avoid a lamppost replete with 'balancing' arms in the air only to then go cannoning into a railing or something.
Even funnier was when I saw some people coming towards me. You desperately try to sober up in case they
a. Jack you for your wallet, phone etc
b. Ridicule or laugh at you for being the stupid drunk that you clearly are
Hence you push your shoulders back and your chest out and valiantly try to walk slowly and in a straight line. It must look very funny. As I staggered home I was ticking myself off for the lesson that the night had taught me.
Following on from my concerns in the previous entry about me being embarrassingly older than my brother, here was an example of me deluding myself that I could keep up with the younger generation when it came to drinking. My brother looked totally in control yet here I was after trying to match him, drink for drink, utterly and completely hammered. What a fool I was and it was clearly time to hang up my 'going out' shoes.
Unbeknown to me my brother was similarly smashed. About fifteen minutes after I'd left, my brother had turned round to see where I was and realising that I'd gone, just left immediately. He then tried to stagger home and even though we walk the straightest, most direct route decided that a route through a park would help. Thus he clambered over the gates and into the park before realising that it offered zero benefit. He also then phoned 4 or 5 people on his phone about 50 times as you do. Eventually he made it home and crashed out on the living room floor, where he awoke as he described "eating carpet".
I managed to make it in and stripping off as I walked from the door to my bedroom collapsed on the bed, managing to make a quick call to my brother to confirm he was ok, before I must have drifted off.
I thought when I awoke the next day that I would feel a lot worse but although not sprightly, I didn't have the head splitting headache that I thought I would. I was also relieved to hear that my brother had been equally blasted. Not because I wanted to wish ill on him but just so I knew that we had consumed an inordinate amount of alcohol that had wiped both of us out.
I know the health ministers and doctors all bleat about the dangers of drinking and causing cancer etc but it had been a laugh. We could, and did, analyse it to think could we have had a better night if we'd eased up a little but you never know do you? The line can be so thin between losing your inhibitions and being tipsy but not having fun. Couple that with the fact that you are always technically two drinks behind, so that when you feel mashed, it's already too late.
The rest of the day was very lazy punctuated with a glorious sausage sandwich to settle the tummy and other snack grazing. We didn't need anything out so just endlessly flicked through the Formula One and other stuff. Some might call it a waste but with no plans to solve the humanitarian crisis in Africa we just, well did virtually nothing.
Tim Burton's Willy Wonka remake was on and I have to say that it was poor. I like Johnny Depp but I wasn't feeling his portrayal of Wonka. Gene Wilder had a far better handle on the reasonably warm hearted kookiness.
Saw GI Joe that evening and we both thought it really enjoyable. Clearly it's not a serious film but the characters were likeable, they had the courage to actually kill people, Sienna Miller with black hair looked hot, Rachel Nichols as Scarlett looked even hotter, Marlon Wayans wasn't as annoying as I'd feared and there was some really cool weaponry and gadgets on display.
Some thought has been expended on some of the ideas, the action scenes were good, particularly the Paris chase sequence, the accelerator suits worked well in that they looked speeded up but the surrounding footage wasn't and Snake Eyes, played by Ray Park, was very, very cool. Overall, an enjoyable film. It doesn't compare with Watchmen and/or what I hope The Hurt Locker and District 9 will be but it was certainly better than Transformers 2.
I received this week an email to the site from someone who said they'd never read such garbage and described me as a "nasty piece of work". I was kind of impressed if I'm honest. I've been called miserable, sad and a loser but "nasty piece of work" indicates a single minded, deliberate venom which is kinda cool, even if wholly inaccurate. I don't know what it was that earned that description. Had they seen the terrifying moustache, was it my jaded views on women or my approach to serving baked beans? Who knows?
I always like to leave you with a little something and as there is little to pick up from the entry here's a video of what has to be one of my favourite all time adverts. The Cinzano adverts with Leonard Rossiter and Joan Collins. For those that don't remember them, they always revolved around Leonard aimlessly spilling drink down the front of Joan in some fashion.
I just love how you think she has avoided the 'spillage' and he finishes with "getting your head down sweetie". Brilliant.
Thanks for stopping by. Take care.
18th August 2009
Well it seems I'm back to being nearly a month since my last report. What's funny is that just after I've put one up, I feel like I'm ready to nail in another one but then think we'll I've nothing interesting to write (some might cry out you never have!) and hence decide to give it a few days. These days turns into weeks and bang, I'm back at a month!
Managed to get some decent film watching recently and started this by checking out Moon. It's a film that I had been aware of due to the great firstshowing.net site but knowing it was a small independent film understood that I'd probably not get to see it at the cinema. Just by chance I happened to be checking the listings of the local complex and there it was and it's final performance was that night. Impulsively I ordered the tickets and headed along with my brother to check it out. I thought it was fabulous. It's hard to discuss for fear of giving away any spoilers but I'll try.
I thought it a magnificent film and when compared to the bloated, nonsensical 'lets have more pointless explosions' of Transformers 2 it shows that you can still have such thought, style and cleverness in a film for a fraction of the budget.
Normally with the independent art-house films they are set on Glaswegian council estates. If remotely sci-fi they are almost forced to have a horror - sex element to help them sell to the teen market.
This was so refreshing for demonstrating genuine craft and story telling. A film that even as your mind is racing ahead to predict the typical ABC outcome of film, manages to keep surprising you. There were no silly twists or WTF moments to make up for the writers lack of logic and it offered a subject matter that resonated with you long after.
Sam's performance was stellar but it is frustrating that one can't elaborate for fear of giving stuff away. I know the film didn't have a big cinema push, well certainly not in the UK, and was only out to piggy back the anniversary of the lunar landings, but I really hope it gets some more exposure.
Sam deserves recognition for his talent as does the writer and director. I've enjoyed some good films this year but that was certainly the freshest, most inventive and well executed one that I've seen so far.
There was little on the telly on Friday so we fired up Who Dares Wins. It looks dated but it's still got some good parts. Lewis Collins is super confident as the lead. At one point he approaches the female bad girl in a bar and tells her that
"I've been dying to meet you"
"so has half the world, what's your excuse" is her response
"I'd like to take you to bed".
I know it's acting and hardly Shakespearian at that but even so it's delivered with such confidence and panache that I wish had the balls to deliver it to someone in real life. In the film the woman goes to bed with him. In my reality I'm sure I'd get glared at or a drink chucked at me.
Saturday was one of simple pleasures. My step dad retired a few weeks back and using some of the money, he got himself a new car. Not a brand new one but one that was a couple of years old and certainly the newest car he'd ever bought. It was a nice motor. A Volvo C30. Yes it was a Volvo but quite a funky one with some oomph under the bonnet and an impressive sound system.
He'd only got it the day before and thus the three of us (me, him and my brother) headed out for an afternoon drive. I hadn't been out for a drive for the sake of having a drive for some time and it was nice to do something different. We went down to Sevenoaks and round where I used to work as I remembered some cracking country roads we could take it on, along with some monster houses that I could show both of them.
In that area is Ferrari dealership and being three blokes in a car out for a drive, what else are we going to do but pull over and take a look. It's funny how seeing them in the flesh and when there was a few of them makes them seem all the more real, yet all the more unobtainable. They had them all. 430's, 599's, California's and Spyder's and even some token Maserati's, though they did nothing for me.
I normally don't like the idea of black super sports cars as I find the colour just hides the exquisite shape and lines. Ferraris should be in rosso red and Lambo's in yellow (the Gallardo would be in orange for me). However there was a black 599 GTB that truly was stunning. I mean stunning. It was around £180k and had black leather interior with yellow stitching. Coupled with that, you had yellow brake callipers along with the small dashes of yellow on the wheels and on Ferrari badges. It made it look so classy with it's predominance of black and the occasional dash of yellow.
It's lines made it look like the bat mobile and I was smitten with it. I created this playboy scenario that I would have a Gallardo for fun but this would be my tourer when wanting to go on longer trips or come across as classier and less flamboyant. I asked my brother independently what his favourite car in the showroom was and he chose the same.
Here's a pic so you can see what's making me so wet.
So my current lottery winning fantasy involves getting one of those (along with all the other stuff I want) and becoming a movie producer/investor. This way I could set up PayneByName Pictures, get the guys here to help me construct one of those flashy intro shorts like Carolco or Icon etc and then have lots of meetings with directors and actors who were keen to get me on board to invest in their film.
A perfect fantasy. I get to involve my passion of films yet still have loads of 'creative' meetings to massage my ego.
Anyway from here we moved onto the Aston Martin garage, which was a couple of miles away. They were nice but they just didn't have the same special quality. From some angles they look great but in a way they all look similar and the more expensive ones look progressively more aggressive. I wouldn't turn one down but I don't think I'd buy one if I had the money.
We then headed back home via Sainsbury's to pick up some bits for dinner and some of those strawberry cables that I like. It was cool the three of us being out. Three different generations, all comfortable with each other and enjoying the simple pleasures of going for a drive.
Hired out Role Models that night with Sean Scott Williams (Stifler) and another guy. It was quite funny with some entertaining characters (including the guy who played McLovin), funny scenes and the typical 'feel good' ending. I think my favourite bit was when one of the leads came out to promote his drink (he was a travelling PR man) and was so pissed off with life that just kicks this can across the stage. It probably doesn't translate that well but with where my head has been at, seemed to summate my mood quite nicely.
Sunday was a relaxing one with a little shopping, an early Dominos and then off to the cinema again to check out The Hangover. I'd wanted to see this when it first came out but when I'd missed it in the first couple of weeks resigned myself to the fact that I'd have to wait for it on DVD. The film has been so popular that it continued to stay on the screens and hence I thought we needed to check it out.
I really liked it. The characters were all great and it offered a healthy dose of bromance linked in with some funny laughs and wild excess. I read afterwards that the main guy who lost his tooth doesn't actually have a tooth there as it never grew and hence normally had a false one in its place. How cool must it have been for him to actually a play a role where he could take his false tooth out and everyone would be impressed.
I love the craziness of Vegas so combining their ever increasing antics with the sin city was great to see. It never quite seemed to descend in to the 'jockness' of say American Pie but it was aimed at the next market up I believe. It had Heather Graham in it who was looking good along with a killer cameo from the 'iron' man himself, Mike Tyson. A really enjoyable film and I'm glad we managed to see it at the cinema.
The following week was uneventful bar a failed attempt to play some badminton. We had booked a court and turned up but they only had one racquet which can limit the game somewhat. Fumbling around in the car I managed to find an old knackered one that we could use. Yes, I know a set of racquets is far from expensive but when we only play like once a fortnight and they have them for free at the centre, why pay the extra cash?
Played about 10 minutes before a not particularly forceful shot caused the edge of the racquet where it joins the shaft to just shear off. Wicked eh! So that put paid to our Thursday night exercise.
Friday night was Air Guitar and we headed off to check it out. As I said in the last entry, I wasn't going to perform but decided that I'd go with the 'Fingerer' moustache just in case there were any buxom groupies there. We got there when it had been going for about 45 minutes or so.
The acts looked good. It was strange seeing them up on stage. I found myself looking and thinking they had plenty of time to add in a kick out here or an arm raise there but when you are on stage you feel like everything will have to have been pre-thought in case you fluffed it. What looks like a second or two to the audience can seem an eternity on stage.
The audience felt more forgiving but again I think that was because I was in the crowd and thus was empathising more with the people coming on stage. We had some good acts. One energetic woman who bounded around the stage looking like a cross between Alison Moyet, Bonnie Tyler and Toyah Wilcox. The best stage name we heard was The Rockness Monster. Love it.
Turak (he from the music video and previous contestant) was there and put on a good show. What I found interesting was that he came out in a mask and cape which he took off half way through the show. Was that a small emulation of me we thought? Maybe, imitation is the highest form of flattery. The best performance of the 1st round though was a guy who'd also been in last year's competition called Deku Chan. His opening was good and his fighting moves to Gay Bar were spot on.
The first round finished and I made my way over to the judges tabled and placed down a couple of Fingerer badges. Said Hi to Bud Rock, who was also in the crowd, whilst I was over at the table. If felt good having been part of something and having that kind of shared experience bond. The judges were away from the judges table doing something showbiz and I watched them when they came back to see if they noticed the badges. To his credit, Zac Monroe, the main organiser and serial 'I'm too cool for school to look like I care' actually clocked the badge first and immediately looked up to see if he could see me.
His eyes scanned the audience and when they clocked me I headed over. I shook his hand, along with Gabi, the Hoxton Creeper. It was cool to see them. Pushed back into the middle of the crowd and the three of us (myself, my brother and my mate) became more vocal as the contest went on. Turak put on a very good performance considering he was first off in the compulsory round as did the other guys.
A boy named Sue came on. Technically she's ok but is very static but she seems to be a favourite of Zacs and she got the best score, which was a bit of a travesty and the crowd let him know that. The final act to go was Wild Thing 37, who'd been competing since 2006 and who's 1st round performance was a little lacklustre.
He was going to have to come up with something spectacular to overcome the bias of Zac and we were determined as crowd participants to do everything to help. Well he pulled something out of somewhere and gave a splendid performance. I don't know what it was but he just injected everything with real punch and dynamism. He pulled off two killer moves where his body moved in perfect unison with a couple of chords and the crowd, pushed on by ourselves, went ballistic.
Wild Thing 37's stunning 2nd round performance When it came to his scoring, he equalled Boy named Sue and they went to a sudden death competition. The previous year it had felt forced but on this occasion, probably because I was just enjoying it in the crowd it seemed far more intense. Wild thing was very gracious in their performances. They were performing on the stage at the same time and he was incorporating her into his routine. I feared this could work against him.
When the final result was given, I thought the favouritism was going to be too strong but Wild Thing 37 won is deservedly. You could see he was really pleased with it and I was glad for him. At the end the DJ actually played Wild Thing by The Kinks, which he performed to and the audience joined in with on the respective 'wild thing' chants.
When it was over I headed over for a quick chat with Zac and Gabi. He seemed quite impressed at the 4,000 that I'd played / aired in front of at the Hammersmith Apollo though no one seemed aware that I'd been asked to attend. I managed to head downstairs and after waiting for him to finish a recorded interview, managed to speak to Wild Thing 37.
It was quite cool that he recognised me and even said that he still had my old badge. Naturally I supplied him with a new one. I hoped he could see that I was genuinely pleased for him and that having been a competitor he could understand that my praise for his performance was totally sincere. He was going to head off and represent us in Finland and as my brother had mentioned I thought there could be some value in using some Wolfmother - Joker and the Thief. It had been used in The Hangover and that has been like the 4th biggest hit of the year.
Stayed for another drink with the guys and then headed off. It had been good to see it again and feel like I was part of something special. Air Guitar has been good to me and it was strange to think back to how I'd been a year ago. Back then if someone had said a year later I would have done a music video and been on Britain's Got Talent, I would have thought they were on crack.
We jumped in a cab and headed into the West End to see if we could grab a drink in Strawberry Moons. It was ok and it passed an hour but it could only have been just over a half full so we blew the joint and took a walk down to Charing Cross. The streets were busy and London had that buzz about it.
Grabbed a healthy evening meal from McDonalds while we discussed the night and commented on our appreciation of having somewhere clean, safe and trustworthy that was open in the centre of the West End until 5.00am.
I've decided to keep the Fingerer moustache for a couple of weeks. We'd discussed it in Strawberry Moons. It was certainly different, which is something I like, and it's not like I've been getting masses of attention without it, so why not keep it for a little longer. I appreciate that it can be a little unnerving but maybe a part of me likes having something that gives the impression that I'm a redneck weirdo who is happy for the world to burn!
It could look gay but I think my slightly softer frame makes me look far from gay and hence why some might think it just looks 'strange'. To be honest I don't get to see many people on a day to day basis so I doubt I'll be causing any young toddlers to start crying. I'll give it to the end of the month but I'm certainly in a 'hick' phase.
Managed to get to the gym on Saturday and followed this by heading over to my aunts who was having a BBQ goodbye to my cousin who was going to be working in Boise, Idaho as a teacher. It was a relaxing evening chatting over stuff and enjoying some cracking chicken and cheesecake. It's always good to catch up with them, even if it is once every six months or so.
Sunday was the usual trip to the shops and then checked out a couple of DVD's. The first was Clubbed. It was your typical guy turned bouncer turned hard man story which was entertaining but ultimately forgettable. What was a shame was how the film built up to a big fight at the end, where the bad guy would get his justified retribution by having his head kicked in and the film didn't then show it. Maybe it was trying to be clever but in a film that was in the same vein as Football Factory and Green Street denying the audience that seemed foolhardy.
Also saw a film called Surveillance. Not a bad film for being that slightly bit different, having some twists and turns and some good performances. It starred Julia Ormond, who I've always fancied, especially when she was younger in First Knight with Richard Gere.
I confess that I've been feeling old recently. There was a sitcom on BBC3 called How not to live your life and in this one episode the lead guy goes clubbing with a 21 year old girl. Her male friends turn up and one of them berates this guy for being so sad that he's hanging around with people so much younger because he can't fit in with his own age group. His character was only meant to be 29 yet here I am at 37 hanging around with my brother who is 23.
It was a tad alarming really. Why am I hanging round with my brother? Why can't I find people of my own age? Am I running from the fact that I'm an old bastard with nothing really to offer? Of course 37 isn't yet in the coffin but you are supposed to have achieved things by now. You should be settled and balanced. I couldn't feel, or want to feel less of those things. I'm not ready to pack all my shit away yet and act mature. I feel old, I feel cynical and I feel jaded. With my step dad retiring and my brother wonderfully coming into his own as a man, I feel like I'm in this middle ground rut which could be guiding me to predictable boredom.
Even with this recession and my savings, the chances of buying a property seem like miles away. I think the most I could afford would be a studio and not even a big one. It's pathetic isn't it? I need to do something to inject a little excitement or variety into my life. Change job, doing some voluntary work, I don't know.
The last weekend was pretty uneventful with the requisite fish'n'chips on Friday night and gym on the Saturday. My brother was out in Birmingham with friends so I raided my DVD library and just seemed to potter around. On Sunday I'd arranged for David, the photographer who'd got such good pics of me at Air Guitar, to come and take some snaps of Biscuit.
It was quite a warm day and I think Biscuit got hot and bored reasonably quickly and hence didn't really give David the range of shots that the photographer from a year ago had taken. He sent through the gallery and with what he had to work with got some really good ones. P was a little disappointed, and I was as well, not at David but just that Biscuit hadn't really played ball. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know what we wanted but I'm confident we will find some in the gallery that we'll be very pleased with.
And I guess that's it for now. With the films at the beginning of the entry we've got a few more weeks until District 9 is released over here. It's apparently doing well in the States. To leave you with a little something here's a trailer for a wicked looking apocalyptic Zombie film called Zombieland. My brother described it as 'that's a piece of me' and the strapline for the film is
Thanks for stopping by. Take care.
27th July 2009
Yes, I know, a journal entry that's not a month after the previous one. Incredible eh!
The lady who I drove up north to see a new dog that she wanted to get kindly bought me a Flip as a means of a thank you. She really didn't need to as I was happy to do it but I have to say that it's a cool piece of kit. Really easy to use and even simpler to get the videos off the device and on to the PC. Get ready to be seeing quite a few pointless but hopefully smile inducing videos.
A fortnight ago and needing a quiet weekend to save a little cash I discovered that UFC 100 was going to be on Sky. Due to Setanta collapsing who used to show it in the UK, Dana White the head of UFC needed somehow to make something of it. Hence he shifted the event onto a redundant and free Sky channel along with pre-fight build-up and a four hour special on the top 100 UFC fights.
I managed to get down to the gym in a vain attempt to pre-burn off what I intended to eat that night, had a quick tan top up in prep for the following Saturdays trip down to Brighton and then hit Sainsbury's to load up on provisions for the night.
Here's an indication of how we prepared for the show
I really enjoyed the show on Saturday night. I think because of the last minute nature of it being shown on Sky meant there were absolutely no advert breaks. None at all. Hence with the accompaniment of an inordinate amount of pizza, soft drinks, crisps, cakes and biscuits we could enjoy all that was played out in front of us with virtually no interruptions.
I thought the build up programme was good and thoroughly enjoyed the top 100 UFC fights. For someone as un-initiated in the history of the UFC it was a nice appetite wetter. I appreciate that much probably would have been missing and it only just scratched the surface but still it was the perfect kind of programme to get you pumped up for the actual event.
I was disappointed with Bisping, as I'm sure many were. I wish he'd been a little less cautious and taken the fight to Henderson. He must have realised that with all his 'trash talk' he could never hope to win a close points decision. I'd hoped that maybe Rampage might have given him some pointers but it would seem not.
I thought GSP looked great though Alves never looked in a huge amount of danger when taken to the ground. I appreciate GSP was great in getting him down there but Alves did a good job of getting up when he wanted to. I could see that GSP was smothering his stand up game but if he hadn't, it might have been a real brawl.
The Lesnar-Mir fight was interesting. It had been very well built up and I think Lesnar's 'unpleasantness' might have been a throwback to his WWE days. I'm sure it would not have escaped him what value being a character can bring you. Having the frame and temperament of a monster can only bring more publicity in people wanting to see you put on your arse.
I thought Mir did well and when he punched him and flung a knee up at Lesnar when he charged him against the cage I thought this is good that he's prepared to try and trade with the animal, especially when Lesnar looked a little dazed (or maybe collecting himself) when they initially went down to the ground.
The actual fights were a little disappointing but I guess this was to be expected when being compared to the edited 100 fantastic fights that preceded it. Overall a great evenings entertainment and one that is unlikely to be matched (build up, lack of adverts, grudge nature) for some time.
I wandered back home in the daylight something not done since the holiday or in the UK since my clubbing days. I always like going to sleep when the sun is coming up. It feels so self indulgent and lazy.
The weeks have been fairly uneventful and I've been pretty lax in getting to the gym. I've managed a couple of times but not as much as I was doing before the holiday. I've been wanting to get the longer Malia report up and onto the site. I appreciate it's arrival is not being eagerly awaiting by the world but it's all building up the recorded experiences isn't it?
One of the guys who we went away with was celebrating his birthday and wanted to do so down in Brighton. We'd left it quite late and hotels for the night were quite expensive. I don't think any of us really wanted to spend a fortune on a room that we would see very little of and thus one of the guys managed to find this cheap and cheerful hostel.
Anyway the Saturday came and we headed down to Brighton with one of the other guys driving. I was pretty pumped if I'm honest. It was good to have a break and there was an excitement about what the night might bring and the idea of going somewhere new. We stopped en route for a little chef, naturally my brother and I went for an Olympic, which helped add to the anticipation of the night.
Got down to Brighton and checked out where we were staying. It weren't great but hell it was cheap. Here's a vid (I told you it would be getting some usage) of the room.
Three of the other guys weren't coming down for a couple of hours so we headed into Brighton itself, parked up and made our way to the pier. It's funny when you go away to somewhere new. The precinct that we parked in was exactly like any that you'd normally see yet you couldn't help feel it was different. In those first few hours when everything was new you felt like you could almost go up to anyone and say "Hi, I'm from London" and they'd be impressed. We hit the pier to mooch around the amusements and see the sights. We had a go on a couple and they were good fun, though in the age of the 360, they didn't have the intoxicating attraction that they did when I was younger.
Which is something that couldn't be said for the ring donuts. You can't go to the seaside and not have them and they were just as sweet, yummy and 'centre of the sun' hot as they always were. The heavens opened up and we ran back to the car, with my "I'd like to butter your muffin" t-shirt getting comments from both a bloke and a girl. I'd always said Brighton was a great place.
Getting back to the guest house we hooked up with the remaining three and all got ready for the night. The communal shower was pretty skuzzy and we all made the decision to change tops and apply a shit load more deodorant / aftershave. Got a cab back to Brighton and started looking around for somewhere to eat. The birthday boy fancied a curry, so we tracked down a decent looking Indian.
I felt like such a typical bloke when we gave our order of like 5 Tikka Masalas. I don't mind trying something new when I'm at Indian that I trust, like the Everest Inn, but when somewhere new it's always going to be the masala. From here we hit some pubs and then on to the Yates. There were some good looking people out and one girl made a really nice comment about my floral shirt. Primarily that it was cool and different. I was chuffed.
From here we moved onto Oceana, which is this kind of super club. I have to admit that it was pretty impressive. It had a large room that played modern music and was all super cool and in white, whilst another bar had a pucker under lit dance floor, 70's style. It also then had about three different, non music playing bars. There were plenty of people out and I know my brother and some of the guys were doing some good work.
For me though, I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know why. I think the earlier feeling of 'we're somewhere new' had evaporated into 'this nightclub is like a hundred other ones around the country that you might have been in' and hence all the difficulties, or inabilities on my part, of talking to women still existed. I was trying to get drunk but it didn't seem to be happening and come 12.30 ish I came off the booze because I realised there was no point in ploughing forward when I didn't seem to be getting drunk.
Still had a good boogie in the 70's room especially when they dropped the Michael Jackson stuff. Naturally I wished he hadn't passed away but at least it's now cool to hear the audience roar and come together when his music comes on. Me and another guy lasted until around 2.00 ish and decided to head back to the room. Grabbed a cab and got back within about 5 minutes. The bunk beds were as creaky as hell and being adamant that I didn't want to connect my skin to their sheets had taken along a sleeping bag which I unzipped and attempted to sleep on.
The other guys staggered back or climbed through the window during the course of the night and with that, some other residents threatening to start a fight right underneath our open window and myself putting off a noisy trip to the toilet until I could wait no longer, none of us really got a great deal of sleep. Again, I don't think any of us really cared about that as a good nights sleep hadn't been at the top of the agenda.
We all got up at around 10.00 ish the next morning and headed up the road to grab ourselves some brekkie, which was a good way to welcome in the day. We then checked out and took the drive home. It didn't take long and we got back in time to catch the end of the MotoGP, where Rossi had won another race.
P had lent me The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which had aroused my interest but I hadn't felt compelled to see it. I know my brother was pretty adamant that he didn't want to watch it. Hence with him falling asleep on the sofa, I popped it on to take me through the Sunday afternoon dead zone.
Wow, what a lovely, thought provoking, wonderful film. It had that great quality of being a journey through Benjamin's eyes (not unlike Forrest Gump) with a unique twist. It didn't have the need for tokenistic bad guys and told a simple but lovely story. It was the kind of enjoyable film that you can let pick you up and carry you along with a smile here, a laugh there and the odd tear. Very much in the style of Seabiscuit, The Green Mile, Contact and the daddy of them Forrest Gump.
A lovely film that surprised me. Even my brother stayed awake through the whole thing and grudgingly admitted that it was good. It's really good to still be surprised by films now and again. I'm normally a fairly good reader of what a film will be about and whether I want to see it. Like I say this had ticked the interesting box but all the Oscar hoopla earlier in the year had kind of put me off.
Just as it's done with Slumdog Millionaire. I know a couple of people have seen it and said that it was good but I'm just not sure. I've nothing about it being about Asians but I get the feeling it won't have any surprises for me. I'll give it a go soon.
Talking of surprises I've done really well in holding off seeing the trailer for District 9. The film is directed by Neil Blomkamp (the guy who was down to do the Halo movie and did the Halo short films) and produced by Peter Jackson. From what I'd gleaned a few months back and an early, content light, teaser trailer, I got a feeling that it could be special and have resisted the temptation to watch the trailer. The film comes out in a few weeks time so fingers crossed that my abstinence will aid the viewing experience.
In other news I managed to get the long arsed version of the Malia report onto the holidays section. The smart ones will tell from that news that I wrote the first part of this entry a few days ago. It ended up clocking in at almost 11,000 words. I'm going to keep trying to add some holiday pics to try to break it up and add a dash of colour. Some of the wrestler night ones are pretty cool.
The Air Guitar event is on again in a couple of weeks time. I think my brother, M and I will head down there but this time only to appear in the audience. I think the Fingerer has come full circle (as Trautman said to John) and it's time to finish in the crowd seeing what the latest crop has to offer and probably boring the other two senseless about how it was different when I did it!
Talking of the Fingerer, I was bored looking round the web a few nights back and unsurprisingly found myself on YouTube looking at the BGT video. I know many will say this is self indulgent. I can't deny that it is but I do like the video because I think I came across reasonably alright. It's like when you have loads of shit photos of yourself that when you get a decent one in which you don't look bad, you look at it a bit more often.
I was pleased with how the documentary on the Air Guitar Nation made me look but was always then frustrated that I was one of only about 17 people that had seen it. Here was a video where they managed to capture some of the better parts of me (ability to laugh at myself, act a fool, try to be funny) yet no one saw it. I hoped, but never really expected, especially not immediately after the event, that BGT would get that. But it did.
In it I felt that I came across as not taking myself seriously and that I could be a bit of laugh. Thus here was something out there that I could say
"yes, that's me, that's what I'm like in a nice, easily digestible sound bite".
I appreciate this makes me sound egotistical and deluded and I wasn't sure if I should even comment on it but I can't help but admit that I wish I had got a few more hits, which might have in turn led to some more looks at the website.
I didn't expect fame, money or endless girls. I don't have a talent and it was nothing special but with a memorable name, an act that was funny and some backstage chemistry I would have liked a little more interest. To put it in context, and attempt to stave off the thoughts that I'm acting like a spoilt prima donna I've had about 5,000 views.
Now I know looking at that figure it sounds impressive but compare that to Eugene, the bespectacled librarian poet. I'm not slating him or anything and I commend the boldness of his unique act but he had over 2,500,000 views, Air-O-Smith the air guitar group from Wales had 1,500,000 views, the witch who put a curse on Amanda 3,500,000 views, the black guy who was all in leather and called himself the Dance King, nearly 980,000 views and even Guy Barnes, the bloke they accused of cheating got over 18,000 views.
It's almost as if mine fell between the cracks. Not bad enough to get mass hits or forwarded on and not good enough to make an impression. I mean it's like less than 1%. Ok it's proof maybe that really the world doesn't give a damn but it's just such a shame that going on the TV didn't even really lead to a few more readers of the site. Of course, they could have read it but just not like what they saw. Maybe I shouldn't have gone on about that. It makes me look bad doesn't it?
Well let's try to finish on a high. I always like to give you a little video, well here is a trailer for Tron Legacy, the late sequel to Tron. This vid doesn't offer any footage from the film and I think was put together about a year ago to test the water and see if there was any interest in another film.
What is does show though is Disney flexing it's 'cool' muscles because this stuff looks wicked. I mean take a look at this image of the light cycle. I'm know this sounds fan boy-ish but wow.
Turn the volume up on the trailer because I think they've got the sound of the bike right on the money. I can't remember much of the first Tron but this is making me wanting to see that again and put this in the diary for 2010. Enjoy.
http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/07/24/must-watch-high-def-test-teaser-trailer-for-tron-legacy/
Thanks for stopping by.
9th July 2009
I know it's been almost a month but as you can appreciate the organising for the boys holiday to Crete did take up a chunk of time. As did the come down on my return. I have stock piled some content over the month, which I'll add to some of the sections. Naturally I'm working on a day by day report on the holiday but I did put together a shorter version which I did for some of the review sites which I'll also post up.
Of course, one of the biggest news pieces was the passing of Michael Jackson. I've never said a great deal about this incredible man and performer but I've put my thoughts in the Observations and Rambles section if you are interested.
So what have I been up to apart from the holiday? Not a huge amount. Saw the new Transformers film when we got, which I confess I was a little disappointed with. It was in IMAX which looked impressive although your eyes did get used to it soon enough.
I'd heard that it was like Bad Boys 2 was to the first 1. Bigger, bolder with more shit thrown at the screen but for me it didn't work as well. It just felt that the makers thought that if there was more bots on screen you wouldn't care about who they were.
They could have done with less bots and spent more time on them. The fight at the end of the first one, you could just about maintain an eye on what was going on and who was fighting who.
In the end battle of this one it was constant explosions, showers of sparks and crashing metal but with little continuity. Plenty of gunfire and debris but no ebbs and flows in the battle actually shown. Almost like a static computer game with the director saying
"right we'll have these guys fighting over there for like 5 minutes and whilst they are doing that we'll concentrate on another piece".
Don't get me wrong I love the robots but when you aren't given the time to connect, relate or even see who is fighting you can't really join in with the fighting.
An example of this is in the best scene of the film when Optimus is duking it out with Megatron and the other two Decepticons in the woods.
A cracking scene, shown slow enough that you can see what is going on (ie moves, punches etc) and with characters that you can visually differentiate from one another. There was also a dramatic element as these were characters you recognised rather than some random bots pulled in just for you to destroy.
As for the transforming hottie, I thought that was pushing it a little too far. Replicating another machine is one thing but skin and flimsy cotton dresses is another. If they continue like this they'll be at the stupid masks from MI:2 and Mystique from X-men. Moments when the writers have walked themselves into a plot dead end and can only get out with a "no look, it's another character all along".
Great special effects, moody sunset/sunrise shots but a rather lame script and wooden exposition.
If this one is all about them getting to admitting they love each other, I can already see the basis of the 3rd one being that Sam is desperately trying to ask Fox to marry him but keeps getting thwarted by Megatron trying to take over the world again.
I was disappointed with this and Star Trek, so fingers crossed for District 9 and the big boy, Avatar at the end of the year.
We did have a Crete re-union on our return in Maidstone which was good but nothing really special and didn't rate as one of our better nights. I'm keen to do a repeat of the wrestler night from the holiday in Maidstone. The other guys who were dressed as Top Gun on that night have offered to be a dinner suit wearing announcer and a referee, which could be really cool.
Was busy immediately on returning from hols what with having to get my car serviced and MOT'd, off to my step dad's retirement party and then running a friend up north on the Saturday for her to choose a puppy.
The other weekends have been quite muted as one would expect after the hols. Had a big movie one where we watched four films. Punisher: War Zone, Gran Torino , Valkyrie and The Wrestler. Punisher was ok, nothing special but satisfyingly violent. Gran Torino was brilliant. Easily the best film of the weekend. Confident, assured direction from Clint with great acting, script and after movie resonance. I enjoyed Valkyrie though I wouldn't say it was one of Cruise's best film. And then finally The Wrestler. Another good film that maybe suffered a little from it's portrayal being so depressingly real.
It's been approaching the 40th anniversary of the lunar moon landings and there's been some good programmes about it on the TV. I might be feeling a little low but there is something about space travel and exploration that fascinates me and really lifts my spirits. In the Shadow of the Moon has to be one of the best space related documentaries ever made.
There was a programme all about Neil Armstrong and he really was an impressive man. Modest, intelligent and inspirational. I so respect him for wanting to withdraw from the public eye yet in this programme he still replied to the emails that the programme makers sent him. Bravo to America for having such a commendable son and someone that you would happily send forward and say this man can represent the whole of mankind.
It seemed to take an eternity to get all my post holiday washing done and the crap put away. It's amazing once you get back, how much planning and effort you realise you put into it all. All the ordering, dieting, working out, buying of clothes, research. All for a supposedly easy week away. As my brother said, the real kicker when you get back is that the furthest point from your next holiday is the moment when you get back.
I've been playing Dead Space on the 360, which I have to say is pretty damn good. It's basically Event Horizon but it is very adept at giving you the willies, especially when playing late at night in the dark with the headphones. Many a time have I had the 'fear shivers'. There's one bit where you enter this large dimly lit room. There are dead bodies lying around which you are wary that will suddenly re-animate. The music is eerie and the sound effects really convey that echoey, empty ship feeling. As if you are not on edge enough you then begin to hear a non-descript woman quietly singing 'Twinkle, twinkle little star.' She doesn't make an appearance but it spooks the shit out of me.
And that is about it. I managed to clear some unwanted files off the site which got it's memory usage down to 61%, which when you consider that is was 99% and I thought I would have to pay more to get extra space, is pretty cool. It should mean that I can post some pics of Crete and maybe even create it's own gallery!
I always like to leave you with a little something, so here is one of my favourite Michael Jackson song/videos. He did many great ones but there's always been something about this particular one, both in the sentiment of the song and the story in the video. Watch it in HD if you can for the full effect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqZvsUbQKxQTake care.
10th June 2009
Hey everyone, thanks for swinging by for some more scorching gossip and scandalous revelations from my coveted position as a TV megastar. I went to the premiere of the latest Star Trek film, red carpet all the way, had some pap shots outside…ok, ok back to reality.
I've been a little lax in updating haven't I? Sorry about that but my wrists have been killing me from all the signed photographs I've been having to send out! Seriously though, this could be a bit of a long entry so you might want to grab a beverage.
First off, films and television. Some of my opening paragraph did have some truth as I did go and see the new Star Trek film. I was a little disappointed to be honest for I'd thought the trailer was excellent and that the films would be a return to the form of the early ones. I thought the characters were well rounded and well played, particularly Kirk and Spock whom I really liked. The supporting cast were also strong.
However, I thought the story was unnecessarily confusing with the time travel angle seemingly created just to allow Leonard Nimoy to be in the film, which he didn't need to be. This is a reworking and the characters were strong enough that you didn't need a character from the old series to validate the new one. If they are going for a refresh they need to cut the chord completely.
Also the trouble with introducing time travel is that you can't help your mind racing ahead during the film and filling in the time blanks. I mean if the Romulan planet hadn't been destroyed when Nero had come back in time, why didn't he just stop the star from going supernova this time?
There were also inconsistencies with how one minute they have the technology to beam aboard a ship travelling at warp speed yet to place one drop of red matter in a planet they have to drill from a platform suspended below the Romulan ship on a rusty chain. Small points I know but Abram's had gone some way to remove the lunacy that was in the Mission Impossible series with elements that were at least more considered or explained.
The biggest problems for me though were the continual shaky cam, which I'd hoped directors were growing out of and the regular lens flare. Ok it's a cool trick but I think it was overplayed a tad too much. There were times when the screen was virtually all white.
Half the wonder of sci fi films is seeing a directors vision of the future but when you can't see a great deal due to being blinded by flare and then having the camera bouncing all over the place, it can become a little frustrating.
I also found Michael Giachinno's score really intrusive and ill-placed. He can do computer games and TV programmes but I think he needs a little more polish before being let loose on a film.
I know people will say I'm taking it too seriously but each to their own. For me it's just rare that a sci fi film would have great characters but poor action scenes. It's like Iron Man in my mind, great characters and top notch acting but the action scenes and general story a little disappointing.
If people want to see sci-fi very well done with cracking characters, a great script and decent battles (both in space and hand to hand) you really need not look any further than the wonderful film, Serenity.
Also saw Terminator Salvation when it came out, which I thought was ok but a little formulaic. For some time I've looked forward to the idea of how humanity would fight back against the machines. Some bits were good and the apocalyptic scenes felt very much like Fallout but other elements just felt like they were by the numbers. I think it's the constant hollow attempts to shock the audience and then bring them back down that brought it down.
Case in point was how near the end, the lead character gets killed by a terminator but then John brings him back to life but then John gets a piece of piping rammed through his chest, which makes you the audience have a sharp intake of breath and a 'that's fatal' only for it not to be and be neatly resolved with a heart transplant carried out with relative ease in the middle of a desert.
It's how they manage to virtually walk into the very HQ of Skynet, set some charges and then blow it all to kingdom come again making you think they've done it but no, there is all the other countries they need to defeat as well. Something was missing for me.
Everyone says it was way better than T3 but I disagree. I seem to be one of the few who really enjoyed the 3rd film, feeling it had a lot going for it. Some bits might have been cheesy but it had some killer action scenes (the crane chase had to be the best chase put onto film that year), clever writing with Skynet being in the software of the internet rather than any hardware and it had the courage to have a 'downer' of an ending that at least gave the story a purpose.
I mean T2 is great but if they had successfully stopped the machine war they wouldn't have been able to come back and create everything in the first place. At the end of T3 you can understand how a prepared but still average guy would be in a place (Crystal Peak) where he could make a huge contribution to the fight against the machines.
Just Transformers to look forward to. Oh and District 9 which could be a bit of a clever sleeper. It's produced by Pete Jackson and directed by Neill Blomkamp, the guy who had been pencilled to do the Halo film until the studios pulled it when they got too greedy. And of course we've got James Cameron's Avatar at the end of the year.
Other films I've seen were Frost/Nixon which I thoroughly enjoyed, more than I had expected and Cinderella Man, both of which were directed by Ron Howard. The latter was your standard fare but still enjoyable and the boxing scenes certainly had my brother and I shouting at the TV to 'kill him' in our typical excitable state. Frost/Nixon was far more measured but considerably more rewarding. I didn't really know a great deal about the original story but it was fascinating.
On TV I managed to finish watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles which were disappointing. They weren't in the same quality as the first series and clearly show the negative impact on quality when writers are given a little more budget and the chance to stretch the story to 22 episodes as opposed to the 10 or 11 that were in the first series. You just felt the content was stretched too thinly and it started to go down the 'Lost' road of frustrating flash forwards and backwards. It also had a fair amount of episodes that seemed to serve no purpose but be stand alone fillers. A real shame and a waste.
Following my appearance on the TV I did get quite a few compliments and good wishes from those that knew me. It also generated a few more hits to my site and one direct contact, though if I'm honest I wish I'd had more. I know I'm being vain but when there was something out there that seemed to show me in a good light, I can't help but wish that more had seen it and it had made more people smile.
It was nice to talk to people and bump into some who hadn't known I was going to be on the telly and how they'd just spotted me. Unfortunately my brother has not earned the £10 that I said I would give him if someone came up and recognised me purely from the TV programme. He almost had a winner when I bumped into Dave from the record shop I used to go to but that didn't count.
I watched most of the semi finals and the final of Britain's Got Talent and I have to say that I was proud of the British public in recognising the talent of Diversity, who really were something else. My brother had said how they would need to step it up in the semi's, which they did with a brilliant act but the next level they took their final performance to was plain fabulous. It was clever, funny, current and technically superb. They really did blast Flawless away.
You can see it here if you didn't get a chance to see it or like me just want to see it again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJIz8BgRQc0&feature=related
I've tried to keep on pushing for the body beautiful and have been hitting the gym and cutting back on the food. In the gym I've managed to get my 5 mile bike ride time steadily down from 23:20 to 22:10. It probably doesn't sound a great deal but it meant something to me and with the sweat coming off me I think it meant something to my 'softness'. I almost shouted when I made the 22.10 but to break the 22 mark I'd have to leave the blocks at a fair trot and I don't think I could maintain that consistency.
I was a bit wary of weighing myself but I have managed to get under the 13 stone mark by a good few pounds. I'm even approaching the 12½ stone mark but I don't think I'll hit that before I go away. I think I look slimmer but although the pounds have come off, it all seems relative and hence the proportional softness around my belly still prevails. I guess I could try and really concentrate on targeting that area but I don't think I've the resolve.
Finally I've even been to the tanning salon. I know it sounds gay and overly narcisstic but I think it's prudent to get a little base colour as well as putting the skin on stand by that's it going to be receiving some hot sunlight soon. The first couple of times you go, you are only allowed a maximum of 3 minutes which makes sense. It's funny though how sensitive your hearing becomes when you are standing with your eyes closed (yes I did have the goggles on as well) in front of the tubes.
They are playing a radio to keep you entertained but you are still straining to hear if anyone shouts out
"Christ there's a fire started" or "Is that plug shorting out on the machine that bloke just went into".
Maybe remembering the girl who gets burnt on a sunbed in Final Destination 3 isn't the best thing to think of!
In other matters for the holiday I've had to contend with 'board-gate' which involved scouring the net for a pair of board shorts that I liked after being disappointed with an Animal pair that I loved but were ultimately too small. I then got another pair of Animal but these were too big. I know most surfers are rakishly thin and like to have their shorts so low that you can see their pubic hair but that just isn't me.
It transpired that virtually all of the decent board shorts have tied up string at the front with virtually no room for adjustment. You are either the right size or not. I guess if you are middle aged with a little softness, you can go to hell. Eventually I settled for a pair of Rip Curl which were part elasticated to help with the fit.
We also had to contend with uncertainties on what the actual luggage allowance was leading me to consider drastic ways of lightening the load and then finally whether we would proceed with pursuing a fancy dress night with wrestling as a theme. The only decent wrestling singlet's I could find where from the US so when we got the green light for three of us to proceed, I spoke to the woman from the US and got them on an expedited order. Even now they aren't yet here so I always knew it would be tight. I've got everything else but without the singlet's we could be high and dry.
I'm going for a Mexican wrestler look with a blue and white theme to appeal to the Greeks. Hence the singlet will be blue with black static patches on the thighs, a WWE 'spinning' championship style belt, white forearm bands, a blue & white double sided cape and a blue & white mask. P helped me on the cape and kindly stitched it together on her little sewing machine.
I've tried some of it on and it looks pretty damn cool, particularly the mask and cape. The other two guys, one of whom is my brother, have got their ideas sorted and are going with the colour schemes of red/black and camo/black. I think we will look great. Hopefully people will respond favourably and think we look fun rather than prats that they want to start fights with!
On one of the other nights we intend to have a Hawaiian night meaning we'll all have Hawaiian shirts (my one is a belter from Karmakula.co.uk) along with some decent looking garlands that I've got everyone and a six foot inflatable palm tree that we can all take turns in carrying around.
I have ordered some other bits for the holiday including a hoped for 'holiday' fragrance. I took a chance on Calvin Klein's Eternity for Summer. It's a nice smell but even with 6 or 7 squirts it's so light that it's literally lost it's scent within about an hour. I think I'm going to take my classic favourite, Acqua di Palma. It's probably a little too mature, if that's the right word, for the Malia demographic but what the hell.
On the gaming front I did eventually complete Fallout 3. It was a good run and did manage to get my interest back up but I felt the end was a bit of letdown. It suffered from the same thing that the Resident Evils game do and even did right back to when I played Metal Gear Solid. I conserved shit loads of rounds during the course of the game in the belief that come the end I would have some awesome stand off that would require me to use virtually everything I had.
Hence by the final battle I was walking in packing 4,000 rounds in the mini-gun that I'd not used during the 60 hours before it and more stimpaks than you could shake a stick at. Ultimately though the fighting was taken out of my hands and the 5-6 bad guys at the end were annihilated by the weaponry I was packing. Don't get me wrong the game was good, it was very atmospheric and that nuke detonation was something else but as my brother said, I wasn't sure if our specific fascination with apocalyptic scenarios was more responsible for our enjoyment. It didn't leave me with the satisfying conclusion that either Halo 3 or Mass Effect did.
Since then I've moved on Dead Space which although hardly ground-breaking is extremely well made. It's given me some genuine frights and is good for keeping my mind off my rumbling belly during some of the week nights when I'm not eating.
Had a couple of days off work when we did the yearly electoral vote poll clerk work for the local and european elections. It didn't seem to drag as long this time which was surprising. The funniest thing was a guy on the roster for the European elections that was standing for
The Roman Party. Ave!
It raised a couple of chuckles from people when they went to the booths.
Talking of Europe I see that the massive £110 million Euro millions lottery was won by a 25 year old Spanish woman. Bravo to her I say. That's an age where you've got a bit of common sense and you are still young enough to get some real enjoyment out of it. I hope it brings her lots of pleasure. That's the kind of money I'd like to win. Many would say that's being greedy but I want to change the lives of those who are nearest and dearest. The more I win, the more I can do that and share my good fortune.
Although I've been cutting back. I've not completely given up on food and had some Moussaka when a colleague at work brought it in. I'd only had it once a good few years ago and really enjoyed it. I imagine that in Malia it could well be the meal I turn to when wanting to embrace some local cuisine. Naturally it would be with chips!
It also lead me to think that with it's similarities to Lasagne, I wonder which came first. Moussaka or Lasagne? A hugely important question I think you'll agree.
On the subject of food, there have been disappointments on the Pizza front. First of all we've been unable to get hold of the Pizza Hut Terminator Salvation pizza which despite it's nationwide advertising campaign isn't offered at the two places we've enquired. It even prompted a quick email to Pizza Hut complimenting them on their ability to arouse my interest but criticise them for then not being able to satisfy it.
We also tried a Papa Johns pizza when we went round friends. I was curious to see how they stacked up but they were far from special. The base was okay and much like Dominoes but as well as screwing up our order, their version of a Pepperoni Passion, which their menu claimed was 'heaped with pepperoni' was so lacking in it that my brother or I would loudly announce it when we came across a piece. I'm looking forward to getting back from the holiday and smashing the granny out of our local Dominoes.
And at last I think that is about it. Sorry for the long delay. It seems I write an entry, feel good about it, think there's no point in writing for at least a week or so and then the weeks just tumble away. I always like to leave you with a little something so here is a video of President Obama doing a speech at The White House Correspondents dinner. It's a little long but I think it's funny and further proof to me of what a great guy he is. So confident and charismatic. I envy the Americans and their leader.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0GwZFAV1Lw
Take care. Talk soon…..ish!
7th May 2009
Not a great deal to report on this entry I'm afraid. Work has been the same and the weekends have been slightly muted affairs. Primarily to save a little cash if I'm honest.
I have however managed to get some good video watching in as well as beginning to cut back on the food intake to trim a little for the holiday. Hell, I've even managed to make it to the gym on the last two Saturdays!
My brother and I recently caught some of the programme where Scott Mills spends a week with David Hasselhoff. We were both looking forward to the show being huge fans of the Hoff but it was pretty disappointing. Firstly it was edited for the lowest intelligent viewer meaning that we had to recap what was happening every 5 minutes and highlight what was going to happen every 10 minutes.
But what we really disliked though was Scott's attitude. He claimed that he was a big fan of the Hoff but then talked derisorily about how the Hoff thought Scott was an important music figure in the UK and also how he thoughts Jump in My Car had got to number 2 in the UK charts as opposed to number 3. I wasn't sure what his game was or why he was trying to make out that the Hoff was stupid but I wasn't warming to him. Why demonstrate that you've lied to David?
Then he went over to the states to meet David and on his arrival was shown to his room, given a hamper of Hoff related stuff and then David wanted to take him out jet skiing. Cue Scott starting to slate David saying that he "still thought he was Mitch Buchanan" and not acting his age. This being highlighted when he commented on how he was getting tired and look dazed after taking a tumble in the sea. It was the snide comments and sniping that were really beginning to get on my tits.
Next David got invited to attend a party in Las Vegas and hence they chartered a plane and flew to Vegas. Scott might have been jet lagged but he just didn't seem grateful or excited about shooting off to Vegas. I would have been pissing my pants about the immediacy and 'live for the now' attitude. Scott then sees the huge suite that David has got and comments on how excited he is that he's going to be sleeping 10 feet from Michael Knight and Mitch Buchanan. That's funny Scott, you were just slating him for thinking he was Mitch but that is exactly what you want him to be isn't it?
You keep grumbling how you can't see the real David but you can't expect him to just reveal that straight away, you've got to give him a little time to relax with you.
No I didn't like it at all. From making out he's a genuine fan of David's, you could see that all he was doing was ridiculing him and expecting to get some kind of sensational, gossip worthy exclusive with the minimum of effort. For me Scott came across like a real prick and displayed the kind of ingratiating but ultimately ridiculing mannerism that I so despise in Louis Theroux.
Oh, before I go any further I must mention this wicked website I saw a few months back. It's called www.guidofistpump.com It sounds pornographic but is just full of those over manicured, intense looking, muscled jocks that you see. You know the ones - greased spiky hair, fake tan, 1000 yard stare with pouting lips. There was one image on it where it shows two guys intensely shaking hands but as the caption says "it's more of a stability anchor to allow maximum muscle tension" - brilliant.
Managed to catch up on quite a few movies over the past few weeks whilst I've saved a little money and kept an eye on BGT. First up was The Day the Earth stood still, which I have to say was pretty poor. It started with promise before descending into the tiresomely predictable with Will Smith's son playing a highly annoying child. Then we had Eagle Eye with Shia Le Bouef which wasn't bad. It wasn't great but it had some entertaining moments. Next was Transporter 3 which did exactly what you think it would do for being the third in another Jason Statham action franchise. It was better than some of his normal fare and had some cool stunts.
Moving into a higher quality league we had Body of Lies and Changeling. Both were really excellent. The first starred Leo Di Caprio and Russell Crowe and was a great middle eastern thriller on a par with The Kingdom with plenty of twists and turns, set pieces and a cracking script. The other film was Changeling with Angelina Jolie. If I'm honest I'd been put off seeing this due to Angelina being in it. I don't really rate her as an actress and definitely not as 'one of the most attractive women around'. The film though is directed by Clint Eastwood and written by Michael Strazcynski, who wrote B5 so I thought I should give it a go.
Glad I did, for it was great. I had to give it back to a friend the next day so I started watching it at gone midnight yet it kept me wide awake and led me to think about it long afterwards. It didn't quite have the resonance of Gone, baby gone but it was very good.
I said I wasn't going to spend money on clothes for the holiday but how empty was that thought? I've already got shirts, shorts, flip flops, fragrance and even two inflatable palm trees on order! I've also sorted out my travel insurance and found the apartment on Google Earth. It certainly is a trek from the main strip but that will keep us fit.
I'd also been keeping an eye on BGT for when I might appear and it happened on the Saturday of the Bank Holiday weekend. I got a call from the makers of the Britain's Got More Talent show asking for the track listing of songs I used so they could get the licenses. I was also told that I could be seen on the Sky listings and just had to get a photo of that!
It was a toughie on how many people to tell. If they made out I was a prick would I wish that I hadn't told anyone, whereas what if I came across really well and no one knew. In the end I thought fuck it and rolled the dice to tell everyone. I even put a post on the Digital Spy forum, which seemed to be the most active of forums talking about BGT. I didn't want to come across as overly vain but I thought if people caught me on the show they might want to know a little bit more and what better chance would this be to drive people to the site?
So Saturday came and I went round to a friends to watch both shows. There was nothing on the main ITV1 show. I hadn't expected anything major to be honest but thought that sometimes they had a brief clip of an act on the main that was then expanded in the 'More' show. About half way through the More show my segment came on and I couldn't have asked for more to be honest.
It showed me 'psyching up' and then chatting to Stephen Mulhern replete with my stage name appearing on the screen with a different couple of rock tunes, including Back in Black, which made my day! They then showed the performance, which was strange to watch. It was like when I did the music video in that I'd been there but naturally hadn't seen any of the footage.
They could have portrayed me a lot worse if they had wanted to but I think I came across ok. For me the stand out shot of the routine was when the camera is behind me, the judges to my left and the cheering crowd in front of me. I've put the youtube link in the Hooded Fingerer section if you want to see the clip.
I was pretty pleased if I'm honest. They didn't make me out to be an arsehole and I looked like I wasn't taking it too seriously. It got the stage name out there and it might drive some traffic here. Whether it will lead to hordes of young groupies demanding non-committal sex or my site become the next big thing after twitter is unknown, though unlikely.
Later that night my brother and I tuned in to watch the Hatton fight on Sky box office. We like the big boxing events, especially when a Brit goes to America to have a crack at them. Carl Froch did it only a few weeks back, flying out to fight in Kentucky against Jermain Taylor. Carl was out-boxed by Jermain, who after putting him down in the 3rd round was on course for a points win. To his credit Carl came out in the last round, knowing he had it all to do and put Jermain down and won it by stoppage with 14 seconds left on the clock. An amazing performance that disgracefully received very little coverage in the press.
Hatton's fight though had received loads of press and I was interested to see how he would fare against the Pacman. I'm a fan of British Boxing, especially when we take it onto the big stage but I have to say that it was embarrassing how ill prepared, ill advised and how poorly thought through Hatton's game plan was against someone of the Pacman's quality.
To assume at this kind of level and fighting someone of that calibre that you could just rush in, chin first and bowl them over is woeful and naive. No wonder he didn't want to be interviewed afterwards. He couldn't say he didn't expect that like he did against Mayweather because he was just shockingly outclassed. Even Pacman nearly said he was surprised at how easy it was.
Hugely disappointing and I was frustrated at having paid for it, having stayed up to see it and having witnessed someone make British boxing look so incredibly amateur.
Went and saw Wolverine on Sunday night, which was ok but nothing special. The opening sequence wasn't bad but it suffered like all the other ones do of just having too many mutants in them. They are all so tokenistic and lacking in substance. It also gets a little boring when Wolvers is virtually indestructible because you don't then feel any tension in his fights.
And that is about it really. BGT, some DVD's and a little boxing. Oh one other thing that was amazing. About a month or so back I hit a pothole in the road near work that shook the car so much I think it popped off the front hub cap. I have alloys but this is the smaller hub cap that covers the wheel nuts. Anyway I've been meaning to go to the garage and pick up a new but just haven't got round to it. Anyway I was doing one of my long late night walks on Monday, along an always changing route and as I walked along I came across a hub cap just sitting on the pavement. It was the right size, it wasn't battered and it didn't seem to belong to any nearby cars so I picked it up and popped it on my car.
What a result. How amazing. I wonder what other things that I need/want will I find the next time I go for a walk - A winning lottery ticket, Diora Baird or the keys to an orange Gallardo.
As we've been talking guitar's, here is the guitar face-off from Crossroads. Now that is what you call some serious fret work, especially the final coup de grace that Macchio's character delivers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0QKbnCDW94
I'm off to see Star Trek tomorrow night. I hope it delivers as it's certainly had the best trailer of the summer blockbusters.
Thanks for stopping by. Talk soon.
17th April 2009
Hey everyone. Well it's been sometime since I posted and I know the thing you are most dying to hear. How was blowing the nuke in Megaton? It was pretty damn awesome. I was only going to pick Fallout 3 back up to blow that baby but doing some other bits really got me hooked and over the past few weeks I've managed to slam another 25 hours or so on it.
Regarding the nuke, I primed it and then had to go to a place called Tenpenny Towers, which is this secure apartment block for some rich folk. You make your way to one of the penthouse suites right at the top and two characters are waiting for you with the detonation switch ready to go. I waited until it was about 7.00pm with the moon hanging just over the top of where Megaton stood in the distance. There was a pang of 'am I doing the right thing?' and then I replayed a chord of the Smashing Pumpkins song in my mind and pressed the button.
The explosion has to be one of the best I've ever seen in a game. A huge deep rumbling that with my sub felt like it might shake out the window, a blinding flash and then a rolling ball of liquid fire racing into the sky. A shockwave raced out from the centre towards our location, rumbling the sub even more, whilst the fireball transformed into a mushroom cloud that rose past the moon. Wow.
And for my heinous crimes? did I receive a bullet in the back of the head? A thank you? No, I got my own penthouse in the tower. Fabulous!
Saw the film Taken after a couple of failed attempts and really enjoyed it. Seeing the voice of Aslan kicking some serious arse was pretty cool and despite some unrealistic bits, there was also a fair selection of clever elements. I particularly liked when his daughter called to tell him that people were in the flat, how he calmly tells her that yes she's going to be taken but she needs to keep calm and shout out everything so he can hear on the phone. When, two days later he tracks her kidnappers down and metes out some justice, it's pretty cool.
Went out for a couple of nights in Maidstone, which was good. You have to hand it to Maidstone. You never have a bad night. There are always people out and even when they open a new club as they did there are still plenty of punters in them. I'd be interested to know how many bars/clubs there are in Maidstone because it really feels like a party town. You also can't beat wandering back to the car and discussing the night over a half foot long meatball marinara from Subway.
My brothers mates continue to be very welcoming and don't make me feel like the old bastard tagging along and holding them back. Indeed they've even asked if I wanted to go off on a summer holiday with them. I thought long and hard as I know I wanted a final 'boys' holiday of drinking etc but was I getting a little past it and would I look hideously out of place? When you get to my age should you be going for walking holidays?
I know Crete doesn't offer much in the way of culture but I'd already done the culture style holiday in Florida 07. (yes, that was a joke). Could I also justify the money? I know people talk of cheap holidays but do they really exist. By the time we'd booked the flight and the hotel and got the spending money, would I be looking at a grand?
The guys decided they were going to book the holiday the following week and after a fair chunk of deliberation I said I'd go along. The place they found was really nice and with flights, transfer and accom was only £300. A little bit further out of town and apparently up a steep hill but at least that meant that the walk up it at the end of the night might sober one up a little. It also means that the days can be spent quietly relaxing round the pool without the influx of the chavvy element before we descend down the hill into the bowls of hell for every sordid night.
I'm not going to go to my usual lengths of research as I don't want to take over the holiday but I'm looking forward to catching up on some reading, maybe getting a little colour, getting drunk and having a real laugh. I know the other guys will be looking to hook up where they can but even in a place like that, I'm sure I'll struggle, so I'll try not to give it too much thought. I will need to lose a few pounds and will have to go on the similar kind of crash diet that I did prior to BGT. It's bad enough being older than all the others by about 14 years without adding a couple of stone to that!
Went out locally one Saturday night with my brother. I'm conscious that I haven't been drunk since New Years Eve and hence could do with bringing my tolerance levels back up if going away for a week of drinking debauchery. Thus the two of us decided to get battered. We were creating shots using Baileys, Disarrano, Vodka and Absinthe. We must have done about 5 or 6 yet we were still reasonably fine. The night was ok but nothing special if I'm honest. The music was good but there were just too many cocks simply standing around, rather than dancing and having fun. The mildly drunken power walk home was a good source of exercise.
Knowing that I needed to start losing the chubb, I thought the best way to wave it off was using the wonderful money off vouchers that we'd got from Dominoes. It would be a tough call between fish'n'chips and Dominoes but I can't deny that both my brother and I do look forward to a Dominoes.
On this occasion we went for the usual large New Yorker, Loaded potato skins and chicken kickers along with a large Pepperoni passion. Even though it comes with double pepperoni as standard, my 'passion' runs a bit strong than theirs so I had to request extra pepperoni. Fabulous.
The week leading up to Easter was another busy, stressful one. It was made slightly easier by my appearance first in a slideshow of Britain's Got Talent publicity shots on a link from The Sun and then the following day seeing my picture actually appear in print in The Mirror. It was under the title spread Britain's Got Weirdo's but if I was in the publicity shots at least they thought I had some entertainment value and could well appear in the show. It was a bit of a boost. You can see the image on The Hooded Fingerer sub page.
The Easter weekend was quite strange. I don't really embrace the religious significance and didn't even buy anyone an egg so the time off felt very self indulgent. Of course I should have done loads of productive things but with nothing hugely important to do, I took it easy and played some more Fallout, which does get more and more impressive. Some of the scenes of devastation in downtown Washington DC are just amazing and taking in the view from the Capitol Building down to the Monument and beyond to the Lincoln Memorial is truly a sight to behold.
Watched Rise of the foot Soldier, which was fairly formulaic in it's portrayal of football hooliganism and gangsters. It holds a certain fascination but I still can't stand the people. The style of the film in being so heavily narrated meant you didn't really bond with the main character and with every character being a bullying nasty piece of work, you didn't feel anything when any of them died. Indeed at the end when the main guy is distraught at the loss of his friends, I felt not a shred of pity for him or them. They're law breaking gangsters, so let them rot.
Followed this with The Signal. It was an independent feature with an apocalyptic theme. It was a little self indulgent in some places with a tendency to stray into this kind of dreamy, indie soundtrack but at it's core it had an interesting take on that kind of film.
On Saturday, I headed round to a friends who invited us over to watch Britain's Got Talent. I didn't really expect to be on it but we all let out a roar when I featured in one of the opening montages. I was also on the opening montage of the ITV 2 'more' show when the presenter says "The good, the bad and the talentless". As they say talentless, they show me bursting out of the cape!
The show was fun and entertaining though it didn't really convey the venom that the crowd were capable of projecting when they wanted to and also implied that the judges were always fair, impartial and gave acts the benefit of the doubt, which as I know is not the case.
The Greek Flatley dad and son act were great and were portrayed as they were ie just having fun and being entertaining. I fear that even though my act and ethos was very similar, I might be portrayed in a slightly more negative light. Likewise Flawless, who seemed a great bunch of guys backstage, were portrayed as this desperate group of friends who'd been knocking around on the council estate and had only tried a few moves together. In reality they are semi professional and were crowned world hip-hop dance champions in 2006.
I could be wrong and I might come across ok but I've got my cynical fears on how I'll be portrayed. Still I can't deny that seeing my face on TV is a real buzz. My phone was certainly bleeping with people saying "my god, you're on the TV". If this can just translate into a lifetime sponsorship deal with Dominoes and bored, busty teens sending declarations of love, I'll be very happy.
To round off the Easter weekend, we did the family thing on Easter Sunday as well as trying Maidstone, which although had a slow start, still delivered a semblance of entertainment. Monday was a double bill at the pictures of Fast and Furious and The Knowing. Fast and Furious was entertaining and pretty much what you'd expect from the franchise but I really enjoyed The Knowing. It was an intelligent thriller with some great effects and a conclusion that was surprising in it's originality and resonated with me for some time afterwards. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would really recommend it.
Right oh, I think that's it for the time being. Time for me to scuttle off and deal with the huge flood of emails from people telling me that "I've touched their souls" and asking if "I could open their supermarket".
Oh, I always like to leave you with a little something if I can so what better way than the detonation of the Megaton nuke from Fallout 3 in high definition. Enjoy!
20th March 2009
So how are you liking the 'tweaked' look of the site? I'm sure you've hardly noticed it to be fair. I know a few months back I dropped on the baked bean images but for a good year or so I've always had problems when adding content or playing with the layout. I thought this was just down to problems with Mr Site and hence kept any amendments to a minimum.
After it got too much recently I emailed Mr Site who said that it was probably down to the Internet package we had at the office and they recommended I try using Mozilla Firefox when using the site. When you get advice it rarely works but on this occasion it really did and it allowed me to have a good look at what I could do.
Now I know it still isn't your traditional style blog, you can't add comments and nothing has really changed but discovering the ability to have sub pages certainly makes the journals and galleries a little tidier. It's not a huge leap forward but I'm pleased with it.
The weekend was an incredibly lazy, self indulgent one. I was adamant to avoid watching Comic Relief on the TV on the Friday night. I'm not very charitable and the idea of watching some B list star getting into a bath of baked beans or the cast of Eastenders performing some comic routine no longer excites or entertains me.
Also the sight of seeing Lenny Henry doing a report from a village that he was at 20 years ago, it not having changed at all but expecting that on this occasion the money would make a "fundamental and long term difference" is too much for me. I've just become a cynical old git who believes that no amount of money will change some people's plight or ever make it down to the grass roots individual.
Hence I hired a couple of DVDs and got some fish'n'chips. The films were Righteous Kill with De Niro and Pacino and Pride and Glory with Norton and Farrell. Both were a little disappointing. I think in the first one they were so desperate to pair up Pacino and De Niro again that they forget the small thing of the script. De Niro's face hardly changed throughout the film, even when he was banging the lovely Carla Gugino. Pride and Glory was no better.
My brother was out with his friends meaning I had the whole day and night on my own and I did virtually nothing. My one excursion out was to drop back the DVD's and after this I watched some Babylon 5, played some Halo Wars and ate four hot dogs. It felt good to be honest. I might not want to do it all the time but if I won the lottery I might have to schedule one of the days for one of similar inactivity.
The only other noteworthy item was my brother and I dipping into the Dominoes vouchers that we recently received. Buy one, get one free was tempting but the value offered with the 50% offer was too good to pass up. Hence we went for a large New Yorker (our fave), a Pepperoni passion (tried this for the first time and I have to say that it's a very close second), some loaded potato skins and some chicken kickers. It seems a lot but I hadn't eaten all day bar some toast and you can keep pizza to re-heat and eat the next day, which is exactly what I did.
The following week was another busy one and I managed to develop a cold. One normally wouldn't mention this for fear of being branded a whining male going on about 'man flu' but this was one of the strangest cases I've ever had. It's the first time I've really had 'dripping nose' ie one minute my nose would be blocked and the next (and I mean literally the next minute) it would start running immediately but only just the one nostril.
I also had a watering eye, which I've never had. I'd get the sensation that I was about to uncontrollably sneeze but instead would just experience one eye welling up with tears. My body didn't feel knackered, I didn't have a sore and I wasn't racked with muscle fatigue. Strange. I eventually managed to shift it but it took a good week.
Other things I discovered during the week was that my years of sleeping with cheap bed linen means that I can't, ok that's an exaggeration, don't like sleeping with 100% cotton sheets. I bought some a good few months back without taking a great deal of interest. I couldn't put my finger on it right away as not being able to get off to sleep is something I can sometimes suffer from.
When your mind is racing over the unfairness of life, what I'd do in the event of a zombie apocalypse or how I'd behave if locked in a supermarket with Diora Baird, it can take a little time to slow down the brain down. Now I realise that the feeling of being too hot and too constricted was from the lead lined cotton sheets. And hence now I know. From now on, it's 50% cotton, 50% polyester all the way and I'll have to turn my back on a plethora of hand woven, menthol enriched, Egyptian cotton sheets.
I also finished B5, which left a bit of a hole in my evening routine as well as my insides. The final fifth season started a little weak but it built to a strong conclusion and the final episode (that perversely had been filmed at the end of series 4 but held back) was very emotional. I managed to keep it all in whilst watching it but when I tried to explain it to someone the next day I could feel it beginning to well up twice as strong. A truly great TV experience and a wonderful piece of entertainment. I'll try to put down my thoughts for it in the TV section.
I've also managed to finish Halo Wars, which I confess I was enjoying by the end. I think it took a bit of time for me to connect with the style of gameplay in wantonly throwing men into battle and not caring. I actually ended up getting to the point where I just relied on vehicles to kick arse particularly the Wolverines, which were motorised rocket launchers. There was something great about getting a line of 5 or 6 and getting them to open up with a volley. Seeing this wave of rockets arcing up from your boys and smashing into the covenant or flood was pretty cool.
Some of the FMV sequences were outstanding particularly the one near the end where you got to see three Spartans taking on a wave of covenant Elites. Very nice and worth keeping the game just for that. Having finished it, I was going to make a start on either Dead Space or Resident Evil but after my brother recounted some of his Fallout 3 experiences, it fired me up to pick it back up again, if only so I could at least detonate the huge nuke in the town of Megaton, which nobody I knew had actually done yet. They all seem to worry about karma. Fuck karma, let's kill everyone is my motto.
Oh and yes I did get my mum a Mothers Day card and we took her out for a meal. We went into Blackheath on the Sunday evening for a curry which was nice. What was amazing though was when we got to Blackheath, we parked up and were taking a slow walk into the village. Coming up the hill towards us was a woman and as she got nearer I realised it was Mystery girl.
She was the woman that I used to occasionally see on my journey into work. After about 18 months of infrequently seeing her I decided on the next time to stop and hand her a letter telling her in a non creepy way that I had seen her, introduce myself and give her a card to my site. I was conscious of not wanting to worry her that she was being stalked by a weirdo. I just simply wanted to say hello. I think one of my sentences was "you're strikingly attractive and I'm reasonably observant'.
Anyway, I never heard anything from her (hell she didn't even look up when I handed her the letter), which wasn't a surprise really as my site hardly makes out I'm a high flying jet setter, but I didn't want to kick myself that I'd never tried something. I never saw her again after that. I don't know if she moved address, got a different job or had been so traumatised by having been noticed by a loser that she drastically altered her travel arrangements.
It was a shame because the chance of seeing her did use to bring a smile to my face on the tedious drive to work but I never wanted to cause her concern. So about three weeks ago I needed to be in work slightly earlier than normal and saw her walking into Blackheath. Fear not I didn't bring the car to a halt in a screech of brakes and go bounding over, I just carried on driving. I haven't altered the time of heading to work so I'm not hunting her down but you imagine my amazement that I would then pass her on the way into Blackheath on a random evening.
My brother joked that I should have stopped her and said "Hi, thought I'd try again. Can I just introduce you to my brother and mother". I can't deny that I'm curious to know something about her. What's she like, what are her interests, what does she do for a living? It's a sobering lesson that fate can throw you a bone but there are some people you will never know despite how close you might get. Either way, I hope she is happy because I don't think I've ever seen her smile.
And that I think is it. Pretty humdrum eh? I always like to provide a little something extra when I can so here is something pretty cool. I'm sure you've seen that the net is awash with fans doing 'mash ups' of different films. The music of 300 overlaid to Halo or similar. Well here is one where a guy has taken the trailer music and look of Watchmen but used the footage from Wall E. Watch it in HD if you can as its far better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ka8DnUVEQ
It certainly helps if you can remember the Watchmen trailer and know the film of Wall E but it's fascinating for demonstrating how the tone of a film, or at least the notion of what it will be like, can be affected so much by it's music and editing. From this I also got the track which is by the Smashing Pumpkins and is called 'The beginning is the end is the beginning'. It's very nihilistic and at the moment I seem to love it. I'll be sure to be playing it when I detonate the nuke again in Fallout 3 and wipe out all those innocents!
Thanks for stopping by.
10th March 2009
Well, rather frustratingly I didn't win the rollover Euro Millions lottery which was a measly £85 million. It seems to have gone to two winners from France and Austria respectively. The daydreams I'd had of spending the money had been enjoyable but in reality, and in these difficult times, I don't think I'd want to win anything less than 3 figures of millions. Yes, only a figure over £100 million would be enough to change the lives of those nearest and dearest and give me enough to do it all. And believe me, there is a lot I want to do.
So in place of winning, what exciting things can I share with you? It's been a busy couple of weeks in the office with a few of our big clients being very active. Plenty of meetings, pitches (which can be frustrating because they are a lot of work for absolutely no money) and late nights. Added to this my journey home has been affected by some major road works in Blackheath. It doesn't impact as much coming into work but the road heading home over the heath is closed meaning you have to go through either Greenwich or Lewisham.
I'm not a fan of sitting in traffic (who is) and the bottlenecks in these two places are pretty major, so to avoid them I've simply been leaving the office later. I'm not great at hitting the sack as soon as I get in and with the tug of watching more B5 or playing Halo Wars, some very late nights/early mornings have occurred.
A few Saturdays back I did manage to hit the gym but Christ it was a tough session. My legs felt like wood and I seemed to have the lungs of a morbidly obese smoker. On that particular Saturday my brother and I decided to hit Southend.
I'd been there years ago to the infamous Tots 2000 but I wanted my brother to at least experience a proper Essex nightclub night. It also had the fun of turning into a bit of a road trip. We headed on down, parked up and took a stroll along the front flanked by cheap amusement arcades on one side and chavs slowly cruising the strip in their pimped up Saxo's on the other. It certainly wasn't the Riviera but no less cheesy than I remembered.
Headed to the club, which was now called Talk, to escape the sea breeze and headed in. We were both 'shirted' up in case the bouncers had got funny about enforcing a dress coded but they couldn't have been less bothered. It was a big club with a few different areas to it. The music was predominantly UK garage and the clientele reflected this. There wasn't an aggressive atmosphere though we did leave at around 12.30 and one could have developed after that.
It was one of the first clubs I've been to where the barman served me, then took a call and then wandered off without taking my money. Shame I hadn't ordered something more expensive than the Bud and J20 that I'd gone for. There were some pretty girls in there as well as some that really shouldn't be wearing what they were. I'm not being nasty or unkind and I'm aware that I'm no stud but when a bunch of girls decide to go out in their basques and stockings look, how come it's only 1 or maybe 2 that look ok in the outfit whilst the others are literally straining the very fabric and could only have squeezed into the corsets about 500 meals ago.
There was one girl in there that does deserve special mention. She had one of the best presented cleavages that I have seen in a long time. She was a short woman with an innocent, big eyed face and long dark hair. She wore this cream sleeveless blouse/top that had buttons undone to practically her navel. It sounds tarty but it must have been designed like that as it didn't look like a normal shirt that had been undone.
Behind this top though was a sensational cleavage that was deep and long and tight. I'm sorry to sound like a perv but this was quite spectacular. There was a frill to the edges of the top making it hard to see whether the cleavage was being created by industrial strength scaffolding or genuinely large boobs. My brother assures me that it was mass rather than engineering. She clearly knew she had 'it' and despite me wanting to say something I fear she wouldn't have appreciated my
"Can I say that that is the finest presented cleavage I have seen in a long time"
We left there and no road trip is complete without a McDonalds though we had to drive to the one by the Blackwall Tunnel as the ones on route (and at Thurrock) were rammed with skirted up Clio's.
Sunday came and I fired up Halo Wars which had come out the week before. I'll be honest, my initial thoughts were disappointing. Whenever I played Halo I liked to take it my own pace. Check out the lie of the land and when possible draw enemy forces back on to a 'kill zone' of my choosing. I also would get protective of the AI soldiers with me and do my best to keep them alive. Maybe it's silly but it's part of the atmosphere of the game.
In Halo Wars it seems the enemy can virtually pop out of nowhere meaning you can't really use strategy and tactics to move up to your targets. It doesn't seem to want you to take your time and your men are thrown into battle and slaughtered with gay abandon. Rather than trying to keep some units alive, you simply let them get hammered and just make some more. I appreciate that this can be what a general is like but in many ways it can be very frustrating. Saying this, it is strangely addictive even if it does descend into furiously creating and sending in more troops to every battle rather than the deliberating finesse I'd hoped for.
During this last week the studios have been gearing up even more for the bumper year of films we will get with some more trailers. I know last time I gave you the Transformers one, which is pretty cool and the makers of the new Terminator film also released one which is good. However the best trailer, ie from an entertainment point of view for the two minutes or so that you are watching it, as opposed to what you hope for in the film has to go to the new Star Trek film.
Sacrifice, responsibility, epic, epic music and that wonderful final shot as the camera approaches the Enterprise. Brilliant. For me it's like the 300 trailer last year (or the year before) which similarly I couldn't stop re-watching.
http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/03/06/must-watch-awesome-new-trailer-for-star-trek-hits/
One of the nights working late I saw possibly one of the worst examples of driving I've ever seen. I was heading home and had a range rover come racing up my arse whilst waiting at a set of lights. As they turned green he swept past desperate to make up those extra feet on what were deserted 1.00am roads. He sped round the corner cutting tight into the apex of the curve and noticeably leaning on the driver side shocks. He must have been doing close to 50mph.
As I followed him round the corner there was a bus doing a three but probably five point turn in the middle of the road. God knows why he was and it was equally bad driving from the bus but it mean that our two lanes were completely blocked.
What was incredible was how the range rover, without slowing, swung into the oncoming lane of traffic even though he was completely blind to what might be there to go round the bus. I couldn't believe it as it's a busy-ish rode, even at that time. I fully expected to see the back of the car ride up as he cannoned into the front of an oncoming car but it did not.
I wouldn't want some complete innocent hurt but the driver deserved to be injured for such blatant stupidity. I'm sure if anyone else had done it, they would have had an accident but why is it the ones who deserve to have one, don't?
Having seen his actions in full and thus knowing the full story, I imagined me phoning the emergency services after the accident, seeing if the innocent party was ok but when the police/ambulance arrived and they asked how the range rover driver was, me saying
"I don't know. He was driving like an utter loon, so I haven't wasted my time checking". Believe me, heartless as it seems I would have no compassion or concern whether he was injured or died. When you drive like that, with no care or consideration it's better if you do die, as long as you don't take or injure an innocent with you.
What was even funnier was how I then kept slowly cruising up behind him at every set of traffic lights that he then managed to hit.
On the Saturday I drove with P down to pick up Biscuit who'd been on her residential behavioural course for the past few weeks. The woman who was training her had all the right credentials, had presence on the net and had written a book but when we got there we were in for disappointment. As well as looking the dirtiest and tangled that we'd ever seen her and having picked up an eye infection, the trainer admitted that she hadn't been able to train her.
Granted Biscuit wasn't there to be groomed but it was a little concerning that she'd done nothing about her eye and very disappointing that she'd done nothing about B's barking and exuberance when people attempt to leave. She claimed to have improved her walking but that was never really an important thing that needed to be worked on.
At the time I didn't want to cause a scene but we drove home a little subdued with me feeling bad for P and not wanting to make her feel any worse. She'd spent a £1k on the training and virtually for nothing.
Brother and I had considered continuing our Essex adventure on the Saturday night but went to Maidstone as some of his friends were heading out there. I was driving but we decided to have a 'gay' night meaning those drinking had an assortment of 'girlie' drinks such as glasses of wine or Lambrini, elaborate cocktails or over fancy shots. They even went for the big blue 'fish bowl' drink in Strawberry Moons with 4 straws.
Most of my drinks were the lemonade kind but I did have an incredibly bland pineapple / coconut concoction at one place. We also had plenty of regular 'homo high fives' which as you can imagine involved some very limp wristed but over dramatic air tapping. Naturally there were some gay dance moves but anyone looking at my normal dancing would probably think I was gay!
Finished the evening in the only way you could with a subway. Brother pushed the envelope on his usual foot long Meatball Marinara with the request of 'double ball, double cheese'. This thing looked a mess with balls and sauce oozing out of every side and the fabric of the baguette slowly disintegrating under the attack. It was however incredibly tasty as he struggled to inform me and shovel it into his face and possibly "the finest Subway he'd ever eaten".
Caught up on some more B5 and washing and then prepped a Spag Bol which unfortunately was a little disappointing. The same couldn't be said for Watchmen which we saw that evening and thoroughly enjoyed. The trailer had unnerved me a little but I rate the director, Zack Snyder, and was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I'd heard a lot of mixed reviews, people saying it was too long, complicated or following the source material too closely. The mixed reviews kinda gave me hope that it wouldn't be the same old formulaic pap and that people saying it was too complicated just meant that you needed a minimum of 20 second attention span. I guess if Paul Ross commenting in The Sun says it's a little complex, you can gauge how interesting it might be!
The film is refreshingly adult in that it hasn't been dumbed down for a PG rating and the widest possible audience. There's sex, crunching violence and issues that reveal a little more depth than your average superhero film. Think The Dark Knight but slightly more complex and a fair bit darker and more violent and I think you'd be there. I didn't know a great deal about the characters but they were all good and well developed. A particular favourite had to be Rorschach as he was just so dark and cynical. I loved his line when he was in prison and after having smashed the crap out of someone says
"You people don't understand. I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me!"
Killer line. Good film and might have to contemplate seeing it again. It also had the Star Trek trailer before it, which made the movie going experience even sweeter (apart from the fact the cinema has now decided to remove the numbers from the seats, prompting all kinds of problems).
Oh, and we managed to get some tickets for Michael Jackson who revealed a few days back that he was performing a number of dates at the O2.
I'd always thought he should do a residency somewhere. If he did it in Vegas I thought it would be great for him. Maybe a few shows a few week would net him millions and who wouldn't want to see Jackson whilst he was in Vegas?
Anyway he announced he was doing 10 dates at the O2 so myself, my brother and P signed up for a presale code. This came through and on the Wednesday my brother was on the net at 7.00am trying to order some tickets. He hit a wall and at the same time was trying the special O2 customer hotline, which was permanently engaged. Neither was netting him any success. When I got into the office I put two PC's onto the case.
As the online queuing started and flicked up and down we kept getting bumped out of the Ticketmaster site or told that no seats were available. Periodically they kept adding new dates until we managed to get something on a Monday in August. We are in a block at the end of the arena but at least this means we'll be looking down the length of the main floor directly at the stage.
It's funny how there were times where we thought we might not get tickets at all and would have been happy for anything. Once you safely got some you then begin to wonder if you could have got a better day or better seats!
My brother said how frustrating it was how he couldn't get the tickets at dead on 7.00 yet some were already available on Ticketmaster's affiliate site getmein for ridiculous prices. Um, I wonder how they managed that so quickly!
I reckon quite a few might get burnt with the whole "we'll buy some tickets now and then sell them for a fortune" line. It will be a shame that if they can't shift them for the ridiculous amounts they ask it will somehow reflect negatively on Michael rather than the greed of those that seem to have forgotten there's a recession.
I know many are saying that he won't do all the dates and will let everyone down but I'm gonna place some faith in him. Naturally I don't expect him to be as energetic as he might have been at 20 and hence will not be able to do as much dancing but the Rolling Stones are still touring at 70 so I'm sure he'll be able to do something to impress. Either way I've a lot of time for Michael, will regularly defend him and it will be great to see him live for the first time.
Thanks for stopping by. Talk soon.
23rd February 2009
Well apologies for my lack of updating. It's funny how when my evenings were taken up with thoughts, research or practice for BGT, I managed to find time to post but since the event I haven't. This isn't down to me withdrawing from the public eye due to it's lack of appreciation of me. Rather that I think that the build-up to it and actual event might have made for interesting reading as opposed to what followed afterwards.
The Endemol enquiry didn't really amount to anything. They wanted me to appear on an episode of a sex education programme that they were filming. It was round a pub table talk/debate about pornography, how it has changed and how it is viewed nowadays. I had my doubts if I'm honest. You'd think from reading some of my posts in the Sex & Relationships section that I'd be ideal but it seemed the researcher contacting me hadn't actually read them.
Having seen firsthand the implication of being told one thing and then seeing your negative expectations come true, I was a little cynical of how it would be portrayed. I could imagine being asked a question on say, whether I enjoyed masturbation. I'd probably admit that I did but what's to say that it wouldn't come across as;
"PBN, who is currently single, enjoys gaming and lives with his step-dad, enjoys nothing more than regular masturbation".
There was also no indication as to why they actually wanted me. I'm not saying that I needed some ego stroking but had I been chosen randomly or was it my humourous wit and insight that they actually wanted?
Saturday came and I headed down into the country to drop off Biscuit at her three week residential training course. The weather was still chilly and there was snow on the fields but it wasn't really affecting the roads anymore. On the way back, we stopped at the Little Chef in Popham that had featured in the Heston Blumenthal programme I talked about a few weeks back.
It was cool to be in the very place that was on the TV and after a short wait of no more than 10-15 minutes we were shown to our table/seats. They had designed a large breakfast bar style table in front of the kitchen that could seat quite a few people. P and I went sat there, directly facing the kitchen and got in our orders. I went for the Olympic breakfast along with the Ox cheeks in red wine gravy. P went for the fish n chips.
The place had a nice, airy feel to it and I was ok with sitting opposite and next to complete strangers. The main courses arrived and initial thoughts were a little disappointing. P's fish and chips looked like they had been forgotten when in the fryer as they were a little over done whilst the mushy peas looked like a small bowl of normal peas that someone had aggressively stirred with a fork. My Olympic was ok. It was nice to have the beans in a separate little dish but the quantity of the original Olympic wasn't there. I guess the quality was better and that had been Heston's aim.
I don't know if I'd order the Olympic again but the Ox cheeks were a different matter. Lovely meat that fell apart, good mash and a deep, rich gravy. It was certainly the best of the three main courses that we had. We considered the different offerings on the dessert menu and plumped for the Haagen Dazs fondue. This was pretty cool and involved a chocolate fondue pot (complete with warm chocolate sauce), 12 balls of different Haagen Dazs ice cream and three separate bowls of dipping ingredients. Popping candy, chocolate flakes and digestive crunch.
As well as looking funky and gaining the interest of all those around, it tasted great. Granted it was a bit tricky try to 'spear' a ball of ice cream with a fondue fork, place it in warm chocolate and then dunk in the dipping selection without sliding off, but if you did it was pretty satisfying. It might have been a touch expensive at nearly a tenner but it proved to be fun and memorable and you can't ask more than that from a dessert.
I've been continuing to steam through the sci-fi series, Babylon 5 which is proving really great and hugely enjoyable. I remember how much I loved it when I was younger but sometimes you have concerns that when you re-visit something from the past, it might not be as good.
I just love the way the show rewards the patient viewer. It was always written as being five seasons long and thus although there are plenty of good episodes that can stand on their own, there is a long story arc running through the entire series. Little things hinted at or mentioned early on can be developed at later stages. Hence there are characters you grow to love and enjoy and get to see evolve over time.
The show was one of the first to use computers (a commodore Amiga as it turns out) to create the special effects and in the first season, they are certainly clunky. It was the early 90's and the budget wasn't massive. But again over time and as you become more connected with the story, the characters and the action scenes, you didn't really notice.
You've got some great writing in either humourous, poignant or touching scenes, some stellar acting (particularly Peter Jurasik and Andreas Katsulas who respectively play Londo and G'Kar) with actors that genuinely breathe life into the development of their characters and the chemistry between others. There are moments of wonder, sadness and sacrifice, intriguing 'reveals' and some wonderful music that I believe first launched me down the road of appreciating the slow builds of Zimmer.
In my opinion it has to be one of the best TV series ever made. I'm motoring through the 4th series and if I remember it does dip a little in quality right near the end. Well actually, it's more that it feels a little rushed, which as I later found out, it was.
From having always pitched the show as five seasons long, the studios told the writer, J Michael Straczynski, that he had to wrap it all up in season 4. Hence he was forced to neatly tie it all up but at a rather quicker pace than what had followed in the previous series. It was a real shame and always provided a "what if" question of how good season 4 and 5 (which I never then bothered seeing) could have been had it not been under that kind of pressure.
Frustratingly towards the end of them filming the 4th series, the studio reversed their decision and told JMS that he could have a 5th series, meaning then he had to back track a little to make sure he still had some elements left to continue into the 5th and final series. That was probably a little confusing, irrelevant and particularly geeky, but suffice to say it's a great show that I am thoroughly enjoying.
I know I pay glowing tributes to most of the things that I like but I have to say that this series is something very special. For me it exceeds Quantum Leap, Firefly and maybe even the final series of Angel. To consistently deliver that kind of quality and quantity is something that deserves far more credit than it actually receives. As JMS once said, it's a show that really is for the devoted fans and that's because it's not something that you can pick up and put down as maybe you could with the Star Trek's or similar. You have to pay attention but are then hugely rewarded for doing so.
Valentine's Day came around and as ever I was awash with cards from a host of secret admirers. It actually fell on a Saturday and my brother and I had the age old dilemma of 'Will anyone be out tonight'? Our thinking was that if they were, they would probably be single. Hence we headed to Maidstone, party capital of Kent. Come rain or shine, recession or boom and that place always has people out and about.
We ended up going to a place called Liquid & Envy instead of the normal Strawberry Moons haunt and it was pretty cool. It was split in two as the name would suggest but the place was tidy looking and the bouncers non intrusive. I don't know if it was quieter than usual, maybe a little, but there was a slightly more relaxed, less edgy feeling.
The place was well decorated and lit and had a good selection of girls. Nothing really happened bar for once me being pleased that I was slightly older. A young girl was trying to get up onto one of those mini dancing stages and I offered my hand to help. She then decided to start chatting, asking my name and whether I would get up there and dance with her. No offence to someone being friendly but she wasn't my type and it was the last thing I wanted to do. When she asked how old I was it was a relief to be able to say "Too old for you my dear".
We finished the night with my brother's favourite late night haunt, Subway and with his favourite dish from said establishment, The Meatball Marinana. It was pretty tasty, especially when eaten in the church garden which was on the way back to the car and I felt like Papas from Point Break. "Utah, get me two".
Watched a couple of DVD's, in addition to Babylon 5, including Wanted. I hadn't been that much into seeing it as the trailer looked a bit silly but I had to laugh at one beautiful scene where the main lead after telling his bullying female boss to shut the fuck up proceeds to then walk up to a work mate, who's been sleeping with his girlfriend behind his back, and smashes a keyboard that he's picked up right across this guys face.
As he does so it slows down and the keys, which have come flying off spell out FUCK YO with the final U being a freshly dislodged tooth. Quality.
I also watched Gone Baby Gone, which I'd recently bought on DVD. As I said at the time, it's a great film with some top notch writing and acting. I think it was the ambiguity in what was 'doing the right thing' that made the film so special and thought provoking. That and Ben's confident direction and Harry Gregson Williams simple and delicate score.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8dULwUaVoM&feature=channel_page
Continuing this descent into geek-ageddon, I think I've probably given up on Fallout 3. There's no doubt that it's hugely immersive and has given me some good moments but my 11 hours play time pales into in-significance against my brother 60+ hours, and he's still not finished it yet!
I did take a quick look at the opening moments of Dead Space which I got for chrimbo and I have to say that it looked really good. Survival horror on a spaceship a la Event Horizon. It looked good enough that I felt it wise to stop what I was doing and wait for the time when I could play it in the dark with the headphones on. When that will be is hard to know as Halo Wars comes out at the end of the month.
Naturally being part of the Halo universe, I've got to get it and it offers a different take by being an RTS (real time strategy) as opposed to an FPS (first person shooter). Simply put for those who aren't into gaming and remarkably are still reading, this means that you can control a wide selection of troops, vehicles and bases like a general with a strategic top down view. Reviews seem mixed but I fancy the idea of an RTS and this looks cool for giving an epic sense of scale.
Continuing this maddening descent into Geek town, during the week I must have subscribed to the biggest form of Nerd Niche-ness when I set up a playlist on iTunes of official soundtracks from Xbox games. I know your hand is racing to cover your mouth and you feel yourself staggering back with a nauseous 'oh my god' but embrace the geek-dom I say. I've got the three Halo soundtracks, Gears of War 2 and Mass Effect. Brilliant.
Hello….anyone there….anyone?
OK, as I'm on my own I might as well finish on a movie buff high. You remember in my last entry how I gave you a link to the 30 second superbowl teaser for Transformers 2. Well here is the longer version, clocking in at 2:16 and it's guaranteed to get you a little aroused.
This year could be pretty good for some big movies. Transformers 2, the new Star Trek film, the new Terminator film and right at the end, James Cameron's Avatar.
Thanks for swinging by. I've been trying to tidy up the site a little more where I can. I know many will say it needs a big overhaul but I still kinda like the fact that it's a little different from all the wordpress blogs.
3rd February 2009
Thanks for stopping by and let me tell you straight away that I am not writing this from the First Class section of a transatlantic flight because I was 'discovered' on BGT and have been hurried across the pond while I'm still 'red hot'.
Let me run through the last few days.
The show was on Thursday, so Tuesday night was a rehearsal and Wednesday a full dress rehearsal. This was performed in front of P and M and threw up some feedback and necessary changes. I think there was too much concentration on hitting certain moves and it needed to be simplified. I had thought about putting a jump in somewhere but realised I was then waiting for it to happen, which was affecting the whole routine. There needed to be more movement, more swagger and cockiness. I needed to 'own' the stage as a lead guitarist would.
The dress rehearsal allowed me to check that things weren't getting caught or leading to problems. The hood did catch a couple of times on my head but this was because I wasn't throwing my head back hard enough. It seemed as if my body was trying to throw up it's own problems with a tweak of a groin strain, a slightly sore ankle from an ill prepared jump and my right knee (the one that has been operated on) going a little stiff and puffing up. I had also thought it a good idea to start wearing my boots in the days leading up to the event so that my body could adjust to the extra weight. This was born out on how on the first day of having them on I seemed to 'clomp' around the office. I even took to using Neutrogena cleansing cushions and evening applications of Tea Tree oil mattifying moisturiser to help prevent the spots which I knew would inevitably appear on show night.
We were confident of the routine. Cavatina (Deer Hunter) was long enough to bemuse and intrigue the audience, She Sells Sanctuary facilitated the reveal, Bohemian Rhapsody would engage the audience and Get the Funk Out would be the technical showcase of air guitar. The whole thing clocked in at 1:54 and we hoped that no part was long enough to bore someone. OK, it relied on the audience cutting me some slack when Cavatina came in but every routine surely has to work and build to a big finish. When the researcher had contacted me, she had wanted the Fingerer. What made the Fingerer unique was the reveal. That was his USP and hence it was only right that it should be in the act.
The day came and I was up early. I'd shaved the moustache out of the beard that I'd been growing for a three or four weeks a few days previously, so all I needed to do was a little tidying up. Had a bath and donning the Hooded Fingerer hoodie that P had got me last year, headed into the office. I felt strange. I wasn't as nervous as I'd expected and was keen to get stuck in.
P did my nails and M put the Gun #1 and #2 on each arm along with the thunder flashes on the forearms and an 'eye' on my hand. I was hoping someone would ask the significance to which I would reply that I had a choice of either a star or an eye. I had the badges ready to go, along with my business cards and did a final run through of things I needed. I almost forgot the CD of the track which could have been an almighty mistake but thankfully P reminded me.
I left the office and cabbed it to the underground station to pick up the tube to take me to Hammersmith. I had everything I needed in either the ruck sack, the suit bag which contained the velvet robe or a poster tube that contained three red roses.
I found the church, where the contestants were being held, just round the corner from the Apollo and headed on in. The foyer of the hall was a little chaotic but it was nothing compared to the main waiting room. There must have been in excess of 100 chairs in the room with a wide assortment of different people in their. Troupes of young girls in matching outfits, single older people, pairs, couples and family members milling around to accompany these.
We had to register, which was filmed and I queued behind an old bloke before stepping forward and saying my name. I laid down a badge for the woman with a jaunty "this is for you" and she just stared at it. "wow, tough crowd" I thought.
I returned to the waiting room and seeing a spare chair on the far wall by a mound of sports bag eased my way through to it. Cameras were rolling to film interviews and there was an air of nervous anticipation in the air. I chatted to a couple of people: a roller skating act, a female singer, a disco dancer and even an all black dance act. They were really cool. Well organised, polite and confident but not in a cocky that tried to dominate the room.
This wasn't really my scene. Yes I'd love fame and fortune but I wasn't as desperate for it as some of the people there. My act wasn't my life and I wasn't expecting it to dramatically change it. I mentioned the earlier round of auditions and everyone seemed to have gone through them so I thought it wise not to mention that I'd been invited. At one point when a member of the BGT team walked past I asked where it was I could get changed.
Unfortunately my worst fear that I would have to struggle in some cramped toilet became reality as I was told it would be downstairs. I didn't rush to head down and waited for at least an hour and a half before heading down there. I discovered that the toilets were in fact four cubicles shared between the males and females. Thankfully because of the time I'd waited they weren't as busy as they could have been and I got to select the end cubicle.
At least this had the advantage of a window ledge that I could rest the rucksack and some other bits on. I laid down the bin liner that I'd taken as a precaution to prevent my feet getting wet and at that point a bloke in the next trap started literally and vocally straining out a shit. I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. This certainly was the big time, rock n roll lifestyle that I was hitting.
Just as I pulled on the second 'outer' leotard I managed to put some kind of black smudge on the material just to the left of my packet. Fantastic, this was going great. So off it came, along with the boots that I just tied up and replaced it with the spare doing my best not to apply any smudges to this.
Then on went the belt, the headscarf and the robe with everything else stuffed back into the rucksack. Gingerly I made my way back up to the waiting room where I expected a long wait. I wasn't sure if any of the footage being shot would be shown before the act and hence didn't want to let the cloak fall open in case it blew the reveal.
Time dragged on and my brother arrived along with M and P. The hours ticked on with little real indication of what time I might be on or when they might want to interview me. It would have been cool if there had been a live feed into the room from the Apollo to at least give us something to watch but there wasn't. Instead you made do with looking around at people practising their final moves or catching their eyes in a 'what have we got ourselves in for' kind of look.
At around 6.00ish they told me they were running a little late and that my expected performance time of 8.15 might now be closer to 10.00. I still wasn't really feeling excited or pumped up but after my interview I felt a lot better.
I'd seen the sound guy and cameraman looking bored when they were interviewing other people and vowed then when it was my turn I would do my best to try to involve them. I barrelled on over when they called and presented them all with badges. We got chatting and I think they got my style of being serious about entertaining but not that I was talented. I joked with the sound guy about making me sound good and pressing the masculine button. He said he's make me sound like Barry White.
One of the crew wrote down how the Hooded Fingerer was written in Italian Il Ditatore Mascherato which was cool, whilst the camera attached his badge to the microphone which was just to the left of the camera lens. Hence every time you looked at the camera, you couldn't help but miss it.
I think I got on well with them and hopefully I won't come across as too much of a prat when they cut it together (if they do) for the TV show. It seemed to light the touch paper for my confidence and when I returned to my friends I was involving more of the people around me, who were more chatty.
Just after 9ish they told us that we were heading across to the Apollo, so the entrants moved to the foyer of the hall before heading over en masse to the rear exit of the Apollo. We had to go down some narrow dark corridors until we effectively came up behind the stage.
The atmosphere was certainly more palpable and you could see on the ashen faces of some of those waiting to go on that it was definitely 'game time'. You could hear the audience and the 'No' buzzer was very loud. Although nervous I felt remarkably composed, far more than I had expected, and was almost helped by other peoples apparent worry.
Whilst I waited I handed out more badges, which were going down a storm with the back stage people. Some would come up and ask for more for their colleagues and all this really helped to keep my mind occupied for what was approaching. I reminded myself of the routine.
Be as slow as possible doing Cavatina. Don't try and rush it, keep your eyes shut, the rose firmly in place and remember that it's meant to stump people. We wanted a bemused 'what the hell' reaction before She Sells Sanctuary drops, I come bursting out of the cloak, the lights hit the leotard and we are go. Whilst they are still reeling from the explosion of red, the ever popular rock part from Bohemian drops in where they can join in and start identifying with the guy on the stage. That ends, I throw the guitar in the air, Get the Funk Out crashes in and I catch the guitar to launch into a technical showcase of air guitar.
The 11 strong dance act went on and received an amazing response with standing ovations and glowing praise from the judges. They came across as very slick, so it was no surprise. As a complete opposite to them, an Eastern European woman went on next who sang 'Don't cry for me Argentina'.
She wasn't bad, but she wasn't great but the audience just crucified her. The boo's, jeers and "off, off, off" cries were deafening and I was amazed that she didn't just leave the stage. Two of the judges buzzed her out but one kept her in and you couldn't help but wish the final one would just buzz to spare the poor girl the rather horrible venom she was receiving. I know a talent show needs a rowdy, vocal audience but this really was something else.
I was disappointed to be a member of the same race as the audience when the girl came off and I had to go up and see if she was ok. Amazingly she seemed fine and didn't look like she had taken on board the boo's and jeers. Maybe it sounded differently when you were on stage.
My time was fast approaching and the backstage TV people grabbed me for a quick interview. We had some laughs and even had a quick Air Guitar jam together. The act in front of me finished and I hurried over to wait in the wings ready for the green light. I kept telling myself that I was going to own the stage, that I was going to fucking own it!
Ant and Dec did a very quick chat to ask what I was doing. I told them some air guitar and that I had some badges for them. They seemed genuinely nice guys and I wish we'd had a little more time to bounce off each other. I pulled the hood up so it showed my face but covered my head and when the go was given, strode onto the stage.
It was a big stage and the auditorium was crowded with people, over 2,000 I believe. As I confidently strode out to the microphone which had been placed in the middle for me to talk on I was conscious that I didn't want to give the game away by showing the leotard, so I grabbed the front of the robe and slowed down my pace.
When I got to the microphone, I didn't know who was going to speak to me so I shouted out
"Good evening Hammersmith" which got a cheer.
I then realised that Amanda was talking, well her mouth was moving so blurted out that I was The Hooded Fingerer from Belvedere in Kent and I was going to do a performance of Air Guitar. There were sniggers at my stage name and they asked where it had come from. I replied that it was because I fingered the chords and was in no way salacious. They asked what I did for a living and I think were perplexed when I said that I worked for a firm of Graphic Designers. There was a murmur through the audience but I think this might have been because they couldn't pigeon-hole me as some kind of unemployed wannabe.
Even though the three people from the telly were less than 10 feet from me and my mouth was dry, I did still feel in control. They said away you go and I started to get the Air Guitar from the rack and put it over my shoulders.
I had said to the backstage sound guy when I gave him the CD that I would pretend to put on a guitar, plug it in, tune it and then give him the thumbs up. Unfortunately he must have forgotten this and the track started before I was ready.
Never mind, I closed my eyes and started playing out the chords of Cavatina as I moved to the correct position. No sooner had I done two chords and the first buzzer went. Jesus, I thought. I carried on and a few second later and another one went off. Christ, were they even going to let me get out of the cloak and perform the reveal?
She Sells dropped, I spat out the rose and came bursting out of the cloak. I felt something on my face and fearing that the hood had got tangled, yanked whatever it was loose. Only later did I realise that this was the headscarf. I powered across the stage, wanting to inject as much energy as I could into the performance and looked down into the front row at the audience who seemed to be cheering.
In a split second Bohemian came on and I moved back across the stage, planting a foot on a sound monitor at the edge of the stage as I banged out some strums. Again I looked into the audience and could see people clapping and cheering. Your mind takes in loads and I remember a blond woman with a white top and some kind of brown waistcoat or cardigan. I could feel the audience getting into it and then the third and final buzzer ripped out.
I was surprised. I don't think I'm talented but I thought the performance was short enough and had enough variety to get a little further than that. I also couldn't believe that it would be cut short during Queen when the audience were clearly getting into it.
I looked at the judges, whilst I retrieved the cloak from the stage floor. I wasn't defiant or aggressive but I know I looked straight at Piers. I don't know whether he was trying to read whether I was crushed or something but there was certainly a moment when I confidently met his gaze and returned it.
The judges looked at me and Amanda said something about aren't there championships for this, to which I responded yes and that I'd entered them. They asked how I'd done and I said 4th or 5th to which you could see them sniff with derision. "Yes it shows". Out of how many entrants they asked "about 30 or 40" was my response. They were deriding my air guitar abilities yet hadn't even given me the chance to demonstrate them.
Simon Cowell then said "You know, I just don't get this Air Guitar". I replied with "it's just meant to be entertaining" to which he contemptuously said "clearly not" whilst looking at the audience.
Of course it would have been great to have said "Well the researchers and executives clearly thought it was, because it was they that asked me to come on the show and perform the routine for you" but what would have been the point? They all gave their dramatic No's and I turned to leave the stage.
I shouted out a "Thank you Hammersmith" and gave them the Glover slap. Ant & Dec met me right in the wings and asked how it went. I said I was surprised and that there was still more to come but what could you do? I was then moved out of the way for the next act to be filmed before I could return to the behind the stage area.
I confess I was disappointed. Not because I wanted to win but I was genuinely surprised that I'd barely been given 10 seconds by two of the judges. It's common civility/courtesy when you've kept people waiting for nearly 8 hours to at least give them the benefit of the doubt isn't it?
I mean surely with my funny stage name, the cloak and the fact that I had a rose in my mouth something would have made the judges think "I wonder where this is going". I can understand if I'd been a singer and the first notes were off but when the act is a little different, you'd think they give you a little chance?
If anything, you would expect the audience to turn before the judges but they'd given me the benefit and were coming round to the show. It was the judges who were impatient and too important to grant an act some more seconds to find it's feet. I hadn't wanted special treatment or favouritism but it stung even more because I had given the show exactly what they had asked for.
They wanted the Hooded Fingerer, they thought it was different and entertaining and that is what I had given them. I'd extended the routine, got some additional props and although not taken seriously my belief that it was a 'talent' had certainly taken seriously the idea of putting on a show for them.
For my efforts I couldn't even be granted the decency of more than 10 seconds grace from Amanda and Simon. Perversely it was Piers (and you know what I think of him) that kept me in for nearly 45 seconds before pulling the plug. I know confusing the audience at the beginning is a risk but any performance has to build doesn't it?
I remained backstage as the TV crew wanted to interview me but needed to do someone else first. Some of the backstage crew asked for a few more badges and one even inquired about the Gun's on my arms. I told him how I'd intended to finish by kissing the guns and winking at Amanda which he loved.
The TV people then came to me and the presenter asked what now for the Fingerer? I smiled as I thought of a witty but very filthy response. I then thought bollocks to and said "Well maybe it's time to retire the fingerer and maybe looking at stroking, slapping or fisting". The interviewer cracked up and asked me to do it again but with the same answer. I did so and then said goodbye to everyone. I took the lonely walk down the corridors and across the road to the waiting room to disappointedly meet my brother and P & M.
I felt a bit foolish to be honest. I'd bombed, they'd not got it (the judges that is) and now they were going to make me look a complete arse on the TV. All the worse thoughts that I'd had about appearing on the show were going to come true. The act had tanked and the coverage if I got any would probably make out that I took it all very seriously.
My friends were good at sympathising with me and I quickly changed in one of the toilets. Even the ITV crew that had interviewed me earlier rather sweetly said how surprised they were that I hadn't got through and how they thought I was a definite for the semi-final.
We got a black cab back to the office and they told me of their perception from the audience side of things. They thought that after the Hip hop dance act no one was going to get as good a response as they had. The fact that it had over run so late might have had a factor in the judges lack of patience but from an audience perspective they said that although initially bemused the audience were turning. My brother said how people had cheered when I threw off the robe and how many had stood up and started clapping when Queen came on.
Hearing this made it even more of a shame that I hadn't just got to the end. I wouldn't have minded if I hadn't got through but if I'd at least entertained the audience and finished strong on that big bang at the end it could have been memorable for them. I felt bad as well for the efforts that my friends had made in helping with the costume and music and then coming to see me perform. I would say I'd let them down but I don't think I could have done anymore or anything else to change the outcome.
As my friends said, the show doesn't seem to know what it wants. One minute it's a serious attempt to find genuine talent and the next they are putting through people who aren't talented and are there to be laughed at and ridiculed. Maybe I fell somewhere in the middle. Not a marketable talent (certainly not for Simon), not gormless enough to be laughed at and not entertaining enough for TV.
I headed back home with my brother and we discussed it more over a cup of tea. I felt a little used. I know I probably sound bitter and apologies if I do but I did feel that I hadn't been given much of a chance. That I'd been dismissed with the flick of a hand even though I'd carried out what had been asked of me.
Over the course of the next couple of days I did debate whether I regretted doing it. The other contestants that I'd met had been interesting and the sense of camaraderie backstage was cool. Similarly, everyone I'd met on the production team, bar maybe the judges, had been kind, fun and helpful. It had certainly been an experience and was a further development of my alter ego. I hope it would make for entertaining reading on the site and I had lost half a stone off the back of prepping for it. I guess as the days go by the flush of unfairness will fade and we'll just have to see how I come across on the show, if they decide to use me that is.
On Friday I received an email from Endemol asking me to contact them about appearing on a programme they were working on. They didn't say what it was but I responded and said I'd be happy to chat about it. Naturally I approached it with a little more restraint and caution.
I didn't get up to much over the weekend though I might have eaten a little more than I should have. I wasn't comfort eating to combat the crushing depression that I wasn't going to be a megastar but rather because I wanted to snack on all the things I had in the house which I'd denied myself for the previous three weeks. Thus as well as having my first McDonalds of the year with my brother for lunch, I then went and had fish 'n' chips that night after running him over to his mates for a Golf style bar crawl.
Certainly the bags of liquorice allsorts that I'd hoarded over Christmas got demolished whilst I caught up with some more Babylon 5. Sunday night was pizza night from Dominoes but we were both a little disappointed with it. I think maybe the delay had built up the level of expectation too far.
On the Sunday night we were struck by the worst snowfall in 18 years. It was pretty cool to go out for a late night walk with the world rendered virtually silent because of the snow. I was careful and warm but it was cool to have the music playing and witness the eerie lighting that settled snow creates.
The snow was so bad that come Monday morning the roads were undriveable. I headed down to the station in the hope I could train part of the way into work and walk the rest but absolutely nothing was running. Thankfully because it was affecting everywhere we decided against struggling into work and although my poor brother had to head to Bluewater to work, I stayed round his and played Horde on Gears of War 2 on Xbox live practically all day.
I hadn't intended to but although you always think you should spend a 'bonus' day like that doing something constructive, the idea of joining up to slaughter Locust scum with people around the world with a regular supply of tea from my mum was pretty appealing!
Just to leave you with a little something. It was Superbowl in the US over the weekend. I didn't really watch the game or get into it but this is normally the time when the big studios get out some trailers for the big summer movies. None were more eagerly anticipated that the new Transformers trailer. It's only 30 seconds long and the longer version comes out on 13th Feb but it still rocks. Enjoy
ps I know it's not much but I hope you like the new splash of colour on the site.
27th January 2009
Unsurprisingly this last week was final prep for BGT. After much thought the track selection and order was decided and M kindly weaved his mixing magic. We did some final tweaks on that before we had the final cut, which came in at under 2.00 minutes which I was pleased with.
I got a date for the performance which would be on the Thursday and had a long chat with the researcher who had found me so she could build a biog of me. I think we got on quite well and hopefully along with the site she can pull together some stuff to flesh out my biog.
Of course there is a danger that I might just come across as a woman hating, gaming obsessed weird geek still living with his step dad!
I've been practising the moves which has been a mixture of one minute feeling like I've got it down and the next feeling I've got nothing. One minute reasonably entertaining, the next a complete fool. Likewise when I think about the event at some points my stomach turns over with all the things that could go wrong and the next is thinking bullish thoughts about how I need to fully embrace the event and experience.
It's a fine balance preparing for the routine in making sure you have a rough sequence but not over-practising so that it becomes soulless. It's hitting that mark where you feel you've almost got it but the lack of 100% certainty adds that frisson of danger. Of course performing it in front of a big audience along with three judges adds another level of worry but I think the basic core principle I need is to remember to listen to the music, move around and inject as much energy as I can.
I've been growing my beard to provide a good platform to shave in the handlebar moustache. It was great in the first few weeks not having to worry about shaving but it's now getting to that stage where you want to scratch it and it affects how you wash.
When I say this I mean how when you brush your teeth you could normally just put your mouth under the tap to remove any toothpaste that might have spilled out. Now you have to use your hand to remove it and give it an active scrub. Likewise after a shower when you feel you've dried yourself properly a casual brush against your chin reveals a virtual rain cloud that has been hiding in the growth.
It's got quite long now so I imagine the eventual shave will take some time and probably have to go through two razors.
I managed to get to the pool but my attempts to get to the gym midweek where thwarted by traffic and sodding around at the office for too long. I did however manage to temper the lack of effort with a couple of long late night walks and a big session on the Saturday where I learned from the scales that I'd at least managed to get my fat arse under the 13½ stone mark.
During the week I really enjoyed watching Big Chef takes on Little Chef. This was where Heston Blumenthal, he of Fat Duck and Egg & Bacon ice cream fame, was going to try to improve a Little Chef restaurant and the menu. It made for very interesting TV both in his efforts to fill a corporate brief that was hypocritical at it's core. Traditional British dishes with original 'blue sky' thinking.
Heston came across quite well and aside from the accusations that he and his food are poncey, I warmed to him. I've seen his programmes where he sourced the perfect hamburger and the perfect spaghetti bolognaise and he does take an age preparing his dishes. But there again he is a perfectionist and if I was going to pay £250 for his 18 course taster menu I'd like to know that the creator had spent an inordinate amount of time trying, deciding and presenting the dish.
He took his challenge seriously and yet was still open to take on board people's thoughts and criticisms, some of which you could see stung him personally. The management board at Little Chef seemed like a bunch of tits who as well as not being aware of the complete disparity in what they wanted and what the public wanted, were also keen to brown nose their way around the Chief Exec, who was also a muppet.
The final product which Heston created was very impressive. The restaurant at Popham was completely re-designed and the menu given a refreshing overhaul. I was so impressed with it that I intend to visit it with my brother and P when she goes to drop off her dog at a residential dog training course. I can't travel that far and just have one dish so I'm expecting a large feast with us ordering two mains each to ensure we can get a good taste for the new menu. Being post BGT my diet won't be as stringent so I think can accommodate this treat.
Continuing this connection with food, which was very strong in a time when I was cutting back on the amount I ate, was when M discovered on the internet this American restaurant.
http://www.heartattackgrill.com/index.html
It's basically a fast food establishment where the owner in a clever marketing spin is pushing it as somewhere offering 'taste worth dying for'. He only offers four variants of burger: Single, Double, Triple or Quadruple Bypass with each single burger being a ½ lb of meat. The fries are cooked in lard, which although everyone will go "urrrggh", tastes good and contains no trans-fats. He offers beers, full fat Cokes and unfiltered cigarettes.
I say a whole hearted bravo to the owner, Dr Jon, for embracing the non-PC mantle so thoroughly. The world is tired of the politically correct, nanny-ing, food fascist lobby. If you want healthy food then of course that is your right but equally if I want an unhealthy but great tasting burger then that is my right. It is a fundamental right. My freedom of choice.
If I was in the States I'd love to try and get to that place because:
A. I love a good burger
B. I'm keen to poke a finger in the eye of those who seek to deprive EVERYONE of something because a SMALL segment of lazy, spineless individuals have no self control and need to be protected from themselves.
Here's a link to a piece on CBS about it. The video might take a bit of time to load but you'll get the point.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4632991n
The company website also contains some other videos including one where a TV announcer starts the feature "The burgers are packed, the waitresses are stacked" and another one where a reporter displays surprise at the place offering cigarettes to which the owner responds that they are "the ultimate desert". Genius.
It was also the week of Barack Obama's inauguration as President and the man just continues to impress. I know it's very historical for him being black but for me it's about the person he is. He's so charismatic yet so credible, so unflustered yet so human, so professional yet so likeable. I genuinely feel that he could do a lot of good and wish he was our Prime Minister.
While trawling another Hamburger site (it's almost like some kind of secretive burger porn isn't it?) I came across this great video of Barack going on Air Force One for the first time. If you watch it you can clearly see how warm and friendly he is. He appreciates the art of making someone feel special and addresses them as an individual rather than an object.
What I particularly like though is when he is handed the menu by the butler/chef/aide. One imagines that it contains the likes of sautéed Sea bass on a bed of rocket and Pheasant risotto with asparagus but what does he go for? A hamburger with cheddar cheese, lettuce and tomato. Even better is when the chef says
"So no fries with that" and he responds
"Oh I'll still take the fries".
You've gotta love the guy that even with the press there he isn't so pretentious that he couldn't order a simple burger.
And that has primarily been it. I ordered last week a film called Chocolate (more food connections) which is a Thai film from the people who made Ong Bak and Warrior King. This time it's a female star who's kicking some arse and blimey does she kick some.
The female lead didn't have the physical weight or power behind her blows that Tony Jaa did but it was still an amazing display of human ability and incredible knee crunching, elbow smashing fighting. The story may seem quite sentimental for many but the action was inventive and very entertaining.
I've laid off the gym in this final week as I think I might have 'tweaked' my ankle a little and I could really do with fashioning this beard into something tonight. This way it won't be such a big hassle come Thursday.
Thanks for stopping by. Wish me luck.
20th January 2009
The past week has been pretty much stressing and prepping for Britain's Got Talent. After submitting my email I didn't hear back which did leave a niggling doubt in the back of my mind of whether this would go ahead. I have since heard from them confirming that I'm still going ahead but not been given which of the days I would be on.
I listened to, and considered, 10's if not a hundred different guitar tracks trying to work out if they fitted and where they could go in the routine. Starting with Cavatina is a given as this had been the acorn for everything and helped create the reveal. Yet even preparing this led me to realise that there were so many different recordings and speeds of the song.
I want the routine to be about 90-100 seconds long. The intention being to keep it short and sweet, engage the audience but not drag on for too long. Deciding the songs is a real headache. Those close to me all had differing opinions with all valid points.
Add to this I needed and wanted to prep other things such as badges, business cards and elements of the costume. I ordered some more leotards but the company sent through ones with sleeves meaning that you wouldn't see the guns! I also started to try and lose a few pounds. Naturally I didn't expect to gain a six pack in a few weeks but anything I could shift would be a real bonus.
Thus I cut back drastically on what I ate and increased my exercise. Gym on the Saturday, swimming on the Monday, gym again on the Wednesday and Badminton on the Thursday. Add to this, I was trying to knock out 20 press ups and 50 sit ups every night before turning in.
Cutting back on the food was tough. I'd try and keep my mind occupied on the TV but all I could think about was the plain chocolate digestives chilling in the fridge or the packet of Sea Salt & Balsamic vinegar kettle chips in the cupboard.
The weekends were certainly the hardest time to resist the temptations of eating or snacking. During the week I can pre-occupy my mind with work or chat or making the tea. Come the evening and it's either surfing the net, updating the web, driving home or doing some form of exercise. By the time I get home I might watch some TV (catching up some old episodes of Babylon 5, Series 2 at the moment) whilst I eat my meagre evening meal.
Unfortunately at the weekend I've plenty of free time to consider the nice things I could be eating, especially when playing games or watching a film. All of my life I've enjoyed nothing better than watching a good film with either a glass of Coke/Pepsi and some savoury snacks or a glass of milk and some chocolate/biscuits. Suppressing that tradition is hard.
It's funny how you learn to appreciate the wanton abandonment of eating what you wanted over Xmas to what I was facing now. Sure I could eat loads if I wanted to and I realise that it wouldn't make that much of a change to my body but there's nothing like being on stage and telly to focus your mind.
We decided that if I wore the smaller leotard underneath the bigger one that I've ordered, I wouldn't need the root vegetable. I appreciate that the 'humour' of the large knob helped make the fingerer but I understand that it is a family show and probably wouldn't be allowed.
I also decided that after the problems of the LED buckle switching on and off and swinging open to switch to a 'blinged up' diamante Skull buckle. It would draw the eye from the crotch and maybe also my love handles. The double layer of leotards also removed the sheerness of the outfit and effectively negated the need for the butternut squash.
I asked M to look at the badges and he came up with a far better shot to use whilst on the business cards P came up with an image that I think summed me up very well. Some baked beans to the side of toast. I liked it and did the job perfectly. I am a beans on toast kind of guy in that I'm quite happy with the basic & simple dinners but also that the beans to the side encapsulated my own unique way of doing things (I don't like soggy toast -see Food & Drink section).
And that pretty much has been it. We have had a good laugh recently at Tim Westwood's video of him showing off his walk in wardrobe (understand that's a wardrobe you walk into). Here's the link to it.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jyVrJZ2L6H8&feature=PlayList&p=2ACE258C274C8614&index=1
It's amazing that his delivery is so straight faced. You initially think that he's just taking the piss. I mean since Ali G, how could someone act like this and still think it's cool? But apparently it is. He's 51 years of age but his Pimp my Ride UK show is one of the most successful shows that MTV has ever had. More amazing is that Radio 1, who consider themselves so cool that they won't play Cliff Richard, think that he is in touch with the 'youth' audience. You just can't help but laugh can you?
Even better is when you compare his video with the spoof one my brother did of our hotel room when we went to Orlando. It demonstrates how well my brother nailed it.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cre6gF5NsJw
Thanks for stopping by.
12th January 2009
Well back to work and the start of a New Year. The roads have been surprisingly clear and our clients didn't steam back into work, so the first week back was relatively quiet and trouble free.
On the Friday we even managed to head into town to take a couple of them out for a spot of lunch at a Conran restaurant on the Kings Road. It was very nice. Light and airy, not too busy and not overly expensive. Whenever I go into places like that I always wonder what it must be like to live the lifestyle, and have the money, that eats out on a regular basis.
I confess to watching Celebrity Big Brother and I confess the main driver for this was Lucy Pinder being in the show. Naturally I wondered if we'd get to see any flesh and I was curious to see what she'd be like.
When the show started I didn't want or expect to like Lucy. I've got a low opinion of pretty women, especially models, as I feel they've had so much sunshine blown in their direction that they don't really make an effort. They don't try to engage with anyone because they are always the centre of attention and they haven't bothered developing other sides of their character because they only rely on their looks.
Like so many other unpleasant glamour models, namely that self absorbed cow Jordan (who seems to be some kind of chav hero) I expected, and almost wanted, Lucy to be the same.
She helped in the kitchen, didn't grumble about being in the normal bedroom, was happy to help others and was always kind and polite, except when pushed to being the only one to stand up to Coolio exacerbating attempts to wind everyone up.
She took her nomination magnanimously and although disappointed did not demonstrate the histrionics that Ulrika did. At the exit interview she was refreshingly honest about her profession and how some might observe her and self effacing enough to understand why she would nominated as the housemate with the least talent.
She didn't rely on getting her boobs out all the time (well in fact never, which I respected her for) and handled herself with dignity and respect. She wasn't always battling for the limelight and displayed consideration of others such as consoling a tearful Ulrika even though she was the one being evicted.
One gets so disappointed nowadays with the shallowness and lack of integrity of celebrities that it was refreshing to observe one that had an admirable level of decency and intelligence. She seemed a well rounded, thoroughly switched on individual.
Of course the public didn't feel the same and branded her boring and annoying. She didn't seem to have received a far chance in my book but up against Ulrika (who I can't stand), what chance did she have?
My brother and I have been enjoying more of the Horde game on Gears of War 2. If you remember this is what we showed to M when he came round and the two of us were keen to see how far we could advance through the levels. There was plenty of swearing and cursing and cries of the game being rigged against us but just last night we managed to get to the top level (50) on our chosen map (Blood Drive). To the non-gamers out there I'm sure this is as tedious as hell but to me and him it was quite an achievement.
There was a point around level 20 when we believed we had got to as high a level as two people could get to on Horde. There must come a point we thought where just two guns couldn't physically get through the ever hardening waves. With some thought, clever shield placements and a lot of bullets & persistence we made it and it felt good. I'm sure fellow Gears gamers might not believe us because if someone had said they had completed it two/three weeks back we wouldn't have believed them either.
I got a very interesting email through during the week from a researcher on Britain's Got Talent. Apparently she'd been looking at the internet, and air guitar in particular, and had repeatedly come across my name. She'd enjoyed my videos etc and asked whether I wanted to appear on the show.
My first thought was incredulity. I'm not trying to be faux modest but air guitar is hardly a talent. In my case it's just an attention seeking pratt dancing around on stage to someone else's music. In the email she asked me to call her so I did.
Sure enough, she wondered if I would be interested. I did tell her that I didn't feel it was a worthwhile, definable talent and far removed from a skilled dancer, singer, magician or acrobat. If challenged by Piers (who as you know I can't stand) as to whether I had any talent I was highly likely to agree with him. She said that the show was looking for diversity and entertainment and she thought I'd be great for it.
We talked a little more and I agreed to call her back with my thoughts. Apparently the mass audition of 50,000+ had already taken place and now they were down to those that they had been selected from that number plus anyone they decided to invite. Filming was taking place at the end of January at the Hammersmith Apollo for London entrants and was taking place over three days. They only showcased 40 acts a day, so London was offering all of 120 acts.
I confess to being astonished, excited and scared. It would be a great opportunity and experience and a further continuation of The Hooded Fingerer's journey blowing along the wind of fate like some autumnal leaf (God, that's beautiful). On the flipside I could make a complete arse of myself and be portrayed as an utter fool. I knew that I'd regret it if I turned it down but could I pull off extending my air guitar routine, deliver a fun and entertaining performance and come across as someone enjoying themselves rather than taking it too seriously?
I asked my brother and close friends what they thought. Unsurprisingly they all thought it a wonderful opportunity. Not in some kind of career way but more for the interest and experience value. I knew it would require help from them with the costume, music selection, putting together the mix and as a sounding board for my thoughts. They thought I was in a good position where I wasn't necessarily in a job where I had to worry about reputation and hence could fully embrace the chance.
The show gets anywhere between 10 - 15 million viewers and as the researcher said would lead to more exposure which could lead to a multitude of possibilities. It made sense to take the chance but it didn't remove the knot of dread in my stomach that was starting to form.
I called the woman back the next day and after a few more questions about how what the day of filming would involve and a reminder to her that I didn't consider myself talented agreed to do it. She registered me on her system and then had to get my permission to show all on my material (youtube videos, clips and photos) to her executives for them to make the final decision.
Following this I would then receive a morning/afternoon slot to attend one of the days filming at the Apollo. There I would conduct a filmed interview with the directors and meet and discuss what was needed with the stage manager (naturally hundreds of candelabras, dry ice and scantily clad women). Then I would be interviewed by Ant & Dec as I waited to go on stage and probably struggled to compose myself. Then I'd head out in front of the 300 or so strong audience and the judges, say my name and where I was from and then start the routine which could be a maximum of two to three minutes long.
After this I'd receive the scathing criticism, maybe have an 'exit' chat with Ant & Dec and also something with the ITV2 programme if they wanted to film something. It's all pretty incredible and daunting. I might like making myself the centre of attention but this is something else.
Naturally I need to start thinking how I can flesh out the routine with another track or two that the audience will know and provide chances for some 'big' movements. I've started growing the beard to create that handlebar moustache and I've ordered some more leotards. I've also started a crash diet and exercise routine. I know there isn't much time and it won't make a huge amount of difference but any weight I could lose would be good and it wouldn't hurt to improve my fitness for the day.
I can't deny that I'm a little over-awed but I think with the help and support of my friends I should make it. I don't intend to but at the end of the day I could always say 'No' right up to the moment I went to step out on stage if I had to. I don't think I would as I wouldn't be able to live with going that far and then backing down.
If I can just go on there, try to have some fun, put on a really good 100 second show and maybe come across as fun, normal and not a desperate wannabee, I'll be very happy. I think my appearance in the 'Out for the Count' documentary summed me up quite nicely and if I could repeat that, I'd be very happy.
And I guess that's it for now. The last few weeks have been primarily Gears of War 2, Lucy Pinder and Britain's Got Talent. Does that make me a sad loner, a chav or a geek?
Talk soon.
4th January 2009
So how was your break? Good to be off? Self-indulgent? Eat too much? - All the above applies in my case!
I had a nice break but I have to say that both of the big nights out (Xmas Eve and NYE) were hugely disappointing.
I got back from work in the afternoon of Christmas Eve and with all my pressies bought and wrapped did not have the usual mad panic. We were going to a masked ball at a local bar. I realised that not everyone would wear the masks but the tickets had been quite specific about smart dress, so I thought it right to make an effort in that department.
Even though the negative part of your brain (which is getting bigger) thinks no one will make an effort, you override this with a 'life's for living, let's have some fun' attitude. So we got the white jackets dry cleaned. I went online and deliberated over what masks to get. I bought a shirt. I bought the masks. I then bought another shirt because the first one didn't go with the mask.
We had a few drinks, we cleaned our shoes and we headed out. I thought it good to get to the 'strip' and maybe soak up a little atmosphere of the night but everywhere was ticket or completely full and thus we had to walk around for about half an hour. We made our way into the bar and it had made an impressive effort with decorations, mask related posters, balloons and free giveaways yet they were letting in guys that hadn't followed the dress code.
So whilst we were looking great in white jackets and shoes, we can feel that we are getting talked about or glared at by guys in hoodies, zipped up coats or blokes wearing tan timberlands and dirty t-shirts.
Now I know it's easy to say don't worry about them but it generates an atmosphere. They are looking at me like I'm some kind of try hard cock and you feel it won't be long before spite drives them to say something or intentionally knock a drink over us. So from trying to make an effort and enter the spirit of the night, we are now made to feel like the outsiders whose excitement for the night is evaporating with every successive glare from some monkey that has made zero effort to look good for the occasion.
Granted we got looks from some women but in reality that wouldn't have equated to anything. As soon as they headed downstairs, they'd be approached by a labourer who'd occupy their entire night or assume that we were clearly weird because in their world guys don't make an effort to look good for a night out.
We realised quickly enough that it wasn't going to get better and not wanting to throw good money after bad decided to walk home. This meant that we were home by 10.45 bemoaning the world and me washing my hair. What a rock'n'roll Christmas Eve eh!
Christmas Day came and I had a huge lay in. I considered whether we could have played the night before differently. Maybe we could have put our jackets in the cloak room along with the masks but I think the damage had been done. It makes us sound moody bastards but just as when you touch the spine of a DVD that you might be considering re-watching and the whole film plays through your mind in a nanosecond, we could see how the night would have played out.
My brother came up and we had a nice big Christmas breakfast together. Opened our pressies (my brother got me this fabulous leather travel pouch of Acqua di Parma which is brilliant. My favourite fragrance and such a nicely designed item) and then headed over to my relatives. We were both still a little cheesed off from the night before but our cousins were on fine and funny form and I was laughing reasonably quickly. It was a good day. Boxing Day was the usual jaunt down to my mums for a huge Christmas dinner, which was fabulous. My brother was the first to finish and collapsed on the sofa. I had to lie on the floor when I'd finished to allow my internal organs to re-organise themselves now that there was considerably less room and even my mum had to sit on the floor for a bit!
Followed this with Wall E, which mum hadn't seen before, and she really enjoyed. The following days then followed the usual pattern of getting up late, going to bed later and forgetting the days and only recognising the actual dates. Caught up on some films, did a little clothes shopping but nothing that involved interacting with too many crowds and played some more Fallout 3, which is a cracking game that is massive in scope and very atmospheric.
New Years Eve came around quickly enough and after much thought we headed back to the same place. I know maybe we should have headed somewhere else but we thought we'd head back in just jeans and t-shirts and get tanked before we got in there. It was an ok night but the club could only have been about half full and the DJ wasn't that great.
The crowd were reasonably up for the night but with so few there wasn't any real atmosphere despite the amount of alcohol we were throwing down our necks!
I had a woman, that I'd previously handed a card to, tell me that my website was self indulgent. Fair comment, it probably is but I tried to explain that I was just trying to have an honest online presence as opposed to so many others. She then asked if it worked, not quite understanding what it is I try to achieve by handing out my cards. It's an olive branch, a means of extending communication that someone can grab if they want to. In her case it worked by making her talk to me again and instigate a conversation.
It also worked by highlighting that although she'd looked at it, she hadn't actually read anything on the site. It's easy to look and make a judgement but when the evidence is right there for you to read and you still can't take a minute to read what's written, I think it's quite revealing.
We then had the bollocks about how women don't want to talk to a guy in a silly t-shirt but rather a nice shirt and jumper. After extolling the virtues of being more reserved with my clothing, I wondered whether she had had the same conversation with her friend who was wearing a white body hugging vest/dress on a curvaceous frame with visible black underwear and "All or nothing" emblazoned on the front?
We left the place at two and headed home for a drunkenly prepared fried egg sandwich. We were both pretty blasted but my brother had consumed the lion's share of a bottle of champagne, which had hit him hard. The remaining days involved more self indulgent laziness and a cracking day when M came over and the three of us played some system link Horde on Gears of War 2. It was the first time he'd experienced the fantastic frenzy of being holed up somewhere with enemy fire literally pouring in from every angle.
It was good to have the time off and re-charge the batteries. Hope you had a good time and that the New Year brings you cheer and good fortune.
Thanks for checking in and we'll talk soon.