I drove all night - 26/06/2006

And another week passes. My cutting back on eating trash as well as making me a little more prone to grumpiness has also has helped me sleep easier at night. All those sugars and carbohydrates that I'm not taking onboard obviously aren't keeping me awake anymore. It does though feel a little frustrating feeling tired and needing to nod off around 11.30ish. This is what older people do, goddamit!  What a dilemma that could present. If I meet a honey I'll be dedicated to losing weight and toning up to keep and please her, yet if I cut down on the food I might not have the energy to give her the nightly loving that she would naturally be gagging for.

Only watched the second half of the England - Sweden game on Tuesday and as before our performance was disappointing. We took the lead and then as usual sat back and let Sweden just come at us and score two woeful, lazy goals including a throw in which just seemed to dribble over the line. Ok we qualified and some people say it's the result which counts but I'm motivated by our performance. If we don't perform well I find it hard to back the team and really get behind them. Went to a client meeting on Wednesday which broke up the day nicely. My knee was feeling tight and I didn't want to hit the gym and further compound the tightness with my trek to Bournemouth coming up. Sounds a feeble excuse doesn't it but I exercise to improve my body not actually run my life. So as well as not going to the gym I got an invite to go down to my mums for a lovely shepherds pie and an apple danish. On Thursday I was coerced into getting on the scales. I didn't want to because I knew if the measurement wasn't encouraging I was going to be cheesed off but I relented, got up on the scales and discovered that the denial of goodies had led to a huge loss of 1/2 lb. I was pissed. Ok I wasn't expecting anything huge but 1/2lb knarked the shit out of me and along with a busy afternoon I felt myself slipping into a little bit of mood. I wasn't snitty with anyone but just became a lot quieter and focused on the work. The fact that I was taking off the Friday meant that I was also trying to ensure that I didn't leave any extra work for anyone else.

Got up deliberately late on Friday in an attempt to shift my body clock later so that staying up into the wee hours wouldn't have as much of an effect. Shot out to get some coolant for the car and it's always good to do a little maintenance on your car to assist in the bonding process when going on a long journey. Carbo loaded with some fish and chips for lunch but it was disappointing in quality and further compounded my guilt at eating it. Got everything together and jumped in the car. I headed down to Sevenoks first to see some old friends that I used to work with. The roads were surprisingly clear and I got there early enough to actually pop in the office.

It was nice to see everyone again but I confess to getting a little nervous when I originally walked in. My mouth seemed to dry up and I hurried my introductions to new people to find relative comfort in the arms of those that I already knew. I love the people that I worked with but it's great to be out of that figure obsessed environment. It's good to be successful but it seems the company as a whole is only ever content with smashing the previous years figures. Work your arse off one year to score some incredible success and all it means is that they want even more work the following year. I'm not subscribing to the theory of lethargy and laziness but when is it enough that management will be happy. It seems that with this attitude you are only as good as your projected figures. If you are not exceeding them then the perception is that there are problems. The final nail in the coffin though is despite the continual carrot dangling, improvement in results never leads to a similar improvement in bonuses.

Anyway I went over to a local pub and had a few red bulls. Unfortunately a new female employee that my old colleagues have been hyping up as gorgeous, lovely, shapely etc had taken a day off and hence didn't turn up. I've seen a photo and she seemed cute but not the amazing specimen that they are making out. You know me, my imagination always conjures up women that could never be but it would have been nice to satisfy my curiosity and put a dismissive tick against her.

Left them at about 8.00pm and hit the motorway. Spoke to my brother who been told that he'd got a job that he'd gone for at John Lewis which was brilliant news. Everyone needs a break and I know that he'd wanted to get back into retail. It's the best shop in Bluewater with an excellent reputation and he can be proud of how well he must have interviewed. Played some Armin and necked a red bull as I hammered down to Bournemouth. Took a couple of hours and once I discovered the location of The Opera House, drove around looking for a safe place to haul up. Applied another dose of deodorant and aftershave. You've got to go in with a heavy coating for these clubs as sweating is a given and no one likes a stinker. As I bought the ticket online I was able to to go to the front of the queue and speak to what looked like the VIP girl. The actual normal queue was quite short so one didn't feel the benefit of jumping it, I'll try arriving later on future trips.

Great venue. It's very much like the Brixton Academy but about a third of the size. Nice wooden dance floor with the DJ's raised at one end. Two foot high blocks to dance on ran down either side of the dance floor and also at the back. At the back of the main room there were stairs leading up to a seated area that circled the dance floor. The crowd seemed friendly with a fair smattering of cybers and only one or two arrogant pricks. Grabbed a drink, which were all reasonably priced (J2O's, Red Bulls and waters only £2) and reconnoitred the club. Discovered the toilets and decided which was the best to be my favourite port of call. Decided on your toilet for the night is very important!

11.30 was approaching and I made a conscious effort to be on the dance floor and finding my feet ten minutes Armin came on. He started with Shipwrecked which is an excellent start up track. The club felt about half full and I think with Tiesto and the Tidy Boys down a few weeks later people were holding back. I didn't mind though as the atmosphere was still good but with a little more breathing space. Armin was doing a 2 1/2 hour set so naturally he took his time building it up. After about half an hour the tempo began to pick up and I became frustrated on the slightly restrictive dance floor. I saw a space at the far end of the left hand raised block and decided to hop on. Now this was a lot better. I had a bit more space, could see Armin and the crowd better and maybe the tart in me wanted to be seen. The tunes were really coming in now and I felt the smile beginning to grow across my face. The battery operated lightstick that I'd got all those years ago from firebox was certainly getting some usage during the breakdowns.

At one point a girl bounded up onto the blocks. She was quite a honey but I had seen her with another guy earlier so knew not to consider that my luck was in. Despite this though she started chatting to me about how cool she thought my lightwand was and where she went clubbing. Her man joined her shortly afterwards but it was nice for someone to talk to me and reminded me a bit more of the community of clubbers that doesn't seem to exist as much in the more cosmopolitan London. As the set progressed I got moved further up the block and effectively closer to the front. With an hour and a bit to go I  reached the end bar someone who was right on the edge, but the surface underneath them was a little slippy so I wasn't fussed. Still had room for free expression and could clearly see Armin who must have been only twenty feet away.

A girl moved in next to me who was very cute and energetic. She had a sweet face that looked a lot like the actress Claire Danes and wore this wicked orange hat. She was bouncing up and down to the tunes and as I started to really let go of the reins in my dancing she kept up. A dancing partner is always good to have in a club. Things might not come from it but having someone who is equally into the music and capable of keeping up with your moves seems to motivate you and push you on even harder. It is tougher when not drinking or taking drugs but I managed to hit my dancing nirvana with sweat pouring into my eyes, my body becoming one with the beat and a need to shout out 'come on' or 'what a tune' whenever neccesary. He started to mix in his version of Racoon - Love you more and I confess to going apeshit with whoops and hollers. What a great song and the crowd joined in though bearing in mind it's my favourite track on his ASOT 250 it had particular poignancy to me. Sadly he finished up and I thanked the girl next to me for being my dancing partner and said I was getting a drink if she wanted to join me. She declined, which was a shame, I grabbed a drink and headed upstairs. Another random came over and started chatting to me and I got to say that the vibe was friendly. The DJ that followed Armin was poor in my opinion and didn't continue to punch it out at the same tempo thus it was hard to hold onto my energy levels. I did consider heading off but thought it silly to drive all that way and not give the next guy a go. I began to take a semi nap while I waited for the DJ to finish and another chap started chatting which was handy for killing the time. The next and final DJ raised his game and though still well below anything Armin dropped was enough to get me back up and dancing. By this time I made the decision that the club wasn't going to beat me and stayed until the bitter end at 5.00am.

Returned to my car, thankful that it was still there, and changed my top. I couldn't drive all that way and not see the sea so I headed to a road that ran along the cliffs overlooking the ocean and parked up. It was blissfully quiet and the sun was up. The view had a strange, calming power. Maybe in the city you never get to see a far off horizon whereas from my position I could see all the way across to Sandybanks and Portland Bill. It was so cool having the sense of achievement that I'd done something different and was witnessing the birth of a new day as the clouds slowly moved over head and ocean swells rolled onto the beach. I must have stood there for about 15-20 minutes drinking in the view and fresh air before jumping back in the car and commencing the long drive back. Naturally the roads were empty and bar having to stop for some extortionately priced petrol at a service station there were no incidents. A wave of tiredness did begin to creep in about half way through the journey but was seen off with a combo of red bull, ribena, wheat crunchies, chocolate bar and a sing along to some 70's cheese. I got in at about 7.30 and settled down into the bed. It's funny in that it felt like a long journey yet the notion that 2 1/2 hours previously I'd been looking at the sea on the south coast made the country seem smaller and so much more accessible. It makes you realise what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.

Woke at 1ish to watch an enjoyable MotoGP which was at Assen in Holland. Colin Edwards and Nicky Hayden really duked it out with Edwards pulling out an awesome final lap to claw back a one second deficit and actually over take Nicky only to so cruelly come off when they both over ran the circuit and went onto the grass. It was nice to see again some of the grit and determination that he showed in the 2002 World Superbike Championship when it went down to the very last race. He managed to get back onto his bike and trundle over the finishing line in 13th but then smashed the windscreen of his bike to pieces in frustration. What a finish and what a good race, particularly as Casey Stoner and Dani Pedrosa had a meaty scrap as well. Continuing the lazy, sport watching afternoon I caught up on the highlights of the previous days World Cup matches with the aid of tea and toast before checking out the first second round match between Germany & Sweden. Within the first twenty minutes Germany were 2-0 up and all over Sweden like a cheap suit.

Shot up to my mates to pick him up before heading down to a friend of his 40th birthday party. It was quite a big affair held in a close of houses with a couple of marques set up on the green in the middle. I didn't know that many people there but got introduced to the birthday woman who over the course of the night really impressed me. For a start she didn't look like she was 40 but more importantly despite only having met me that night and with lots of people celebrating her birthday helped make me feel really welcome. There was a little dance floor set up and even a live band but I was content to help others get drink and keep myself topped up with coke. It was quite entertaining to watch the others get more pissed. Around 1.00 ish I spied a woman who was with the two female next door neighbours of birthday girl starting to walk home on her own. I asked the neighbours if the woman was walking home on her own. They said Yes and I replied not on my watch and hurried after her. We started to chat as we started to walk but then the two neighbours suddenly turned up. It's ok they said we'll walk her home. Are you worried about me then I asked, well we don't know you they replied. Ok I said and let them get on with it. The party by this point had moved into a house and I kept a watching brief from the hallway on everyones else drunken antics. I wasn't being an annoying party pooper but not knowing everyone didn't want to just dive in. In between looking after the birthday girls huge wine glass that she'd got and ensuring that I didn't get embroiled in the cloth swapping that was going on I spied a multipack of Walkers crisps.

I deserved a treat I thought and dug out a packet of smokey bacon crisps. I used to love these and they always remind me of my mum as she used to eat them. Like walkers cheese & onion they are a strong tasting flavour but I enjoyed them never the less. Literally just as I finished the packet the two female neighbours returned. They were quite pretty and had just obviously whacked on some perfume as they gave me a big hug and told me what a nice guy I was and how they hoped I hadn't taken offence. I mumbled a response as I desperately fished around for some chewing gum not wanting to ruin my new image by having bacon breath and crisp crumb fingers. I should have engaged them in conversation there and then but let them slip off with the intention of making an approach later. Unfortunately though when I went to look later they had gone. Nice work! The party began to wind down around 2.30ish and we must have said our goodbye around 3.30ish. Headed back to Blackheath to the only place to end a good night, the Tea Hut. Oh god does this place always deliver. What an awesome burger we had this time. The sun was already up and due to the freshness of the burger and the leaking of the egg yolk consumed the burger outside of the car. Pontificated on life and the party over the tea as we always do before dropping my mate off and returning home. Another early morning finish always speak volumes of a good night I think.

Sunday and it was the second round match of England vs Ecuador. I picked up my mate and we hit a local pub along with my brother. The pub was rammed but we played it beautifully by sitting at a collection of tables at the far end. From here we could watch the football on a raised plasma screen yet also see and taste the atmosphere of the far more vocal, chanting, air horn sounding crowd in front of the bar. There was also a pleasantly surprising female/male quotient almost like it was playing out the opposite of clubs offering free entry to girls to encourage guys. With this it was like the girls knew that men would be out in their droves and thus came out wearing their best stuff. We ordered at least three drinks each and some bowls of chips. The kitchen seemed to screw the order up so about three minutes after our chips arrived, another three plates appeared. I handed them out to a couple of all girl tables and received some pleasant smiles making me think this was a ruse worth perfecting. The game was disappointing and played similar to our other games. Beckham scored a great free kick but our performance was miserable, disorganised and lacking in invention, sparkle or heart. Yes we won but I don't like it when we don't play well. A couple of lager boys got a bit lairy when the game was over and some bouncers had to forcibly eject them. Hit noodle time for some special fried rice in a virtually deserted restuarant and some post match analysis. Didn't want to call it a night so drove to bluewater to catch a film. Chose a late performance so we could watch the Portugal - Holland game in the sports bar there. Again is was practically deserted but it was really cool to chill back in their comfy leather armchairs and watch an entertaining game. Portugal won a rather bad tempered game setting up a match with England which will mirror our two previous encounters with them. Saw the new Jet Li film after this called Fearless. The fighting was good but the story and everything else was very weak.

Another good weekend. I did a lot of miles, 420 in total, but it was great to get around and do things. Something for myself on Friday night, something with my friend at the party on Saturday and something for my country on the Sunday - can they get better?

 

Family, friends and a great weekend - 19/06/2006

Thanks for tuning back in folks. Felt a little tired on Monday but working with my colleagues always cheers me up. I think my new eating regime, or attempt at one, might be having negative effects on my personality. Don't know if the amount of sugar and E numbers in my usual crap kept me chirpy but I seemed a lot more snitty at the beginning of the week. Temper seemed a little shorter and patience a little thinner. I don't like being a misery so did my best to bury it. My swimming session seemed to do little to curb my 'on edge-ness' and another night of muggy bedroom and little sleep meant that I was hardly peaking on a cloud of happiness by Tuesday morning.

I'm disappointed with the world cup highlights that are getting shown on the TV. I always try and watch a good smattering of games in the World Cup but the live matches are on when I'm at work and then the highlights seem disappointingly short and doesn't give a good flavour of the game. The BBC coverage is particularly frustrating. Endless chat from second rate pundits but about five minutes of in game footage. I know it's selfish but I could do with it being played in some far flung location so that the games were all played late at night which would suit me fine. It was Lost double bill again and it was enjoyable, though not as much so as the previous session. I don't know if we are entering the statutory mid season dip but I hope not.

Not having been to the gym for about a week I was expecting a poor session but managed to turn in a blinder. I kept saying I'd do another five minutes and stop but although I had less time than normal still banged in a respectable 900 calorie burn. Thursday was fun. We had something to be couriered to us from another agency. They claimed they had sent it and it had been signed for by me on Tuesday evening. I hadn't seen it and both of us were at an impasse blaming the other for lying. I knew it hadn't come in but began to doubt myself. I was also concerned what image it represented of the company. My stress levels began to rise as we tried to resolve the situation without wagging fingers but I was ready to go ballistic. I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong but being wrongfully accused is unfair and nothing winds me up more than being blamed for something I didn't do. We managed to not involve the client and discovered the following day when I was faxed through the sheet that I was supposed to have signed that this cheeky shit of a courier had simply made up a signature. Lazy bastard, because he couldn't find us or wanted to get home he'd simply fabricated a signature and lied to his controller. That one action led to all this mess. It was nice to be vindicated but shocking that this kind of practice would happen.

The day was finished off with a frankly miserable England performance against Trinidad & Tobago. Granted we won 2-0 and effectively qualified for the next round but it was the manner of our victory. Lazy, uninspiring and undeserved in my book. John Terry had to do a goal line clearance at the end of the first half which had it gone in would, I'm sure, have changed the makeup of the game. Our supposed team of superstars, who at one point were tipped as second favourites to win the cup looked very average and lacking in invention and passion.

Was up surprisingly early on Saturday as I needed to get my hair cut and pick up some bits before getting on the road to my relatives in Reading. Picked up a new CD from HMW for the journey, DJ Tiesto - Search for Sunrise 5, and then some sandals. They were quite cool and not the type that I would wear with socks or anything. It's funny that after the sales assistant went back into the stock room to get the sandals which were a size 9 when ideally I wanted a 10 I got a sudden pang of conscious that I hadn't really looked in any other shops. My brothers words a few weeks back when I showed him another pair where still ringing in my ear that they looked old fashioned. I bolted for the door to check out some other shops. Needless to say there weren't any in other shops and I realised that I did in fact want the ones from that shop. How could I go back in without looking a twat? To be honest I couldn't but I strode back in regardless, smiled at the assistant and apologised for having had to leave to take an important call.

Got my stuff together and hit the road at just before 12.00. I'd got a CD for the journey, some mint humbugs and a small cool bag with a couple of rolls, ribenas and crisps. I was looking forward to the journey and bonding with my car. Waited until I got through the congestion that seemed to last until junction six before breaking out the provisions. It may have created a few crumbs but you can't beat the bonding process of eating en route. At one point coming round the motorwayk I saw some automated gantry signs warning of fog. At 1.20 on a hot afternoon this raised a chuckle. The album was ok with a few standout tracks but not the consistent quality of Armin's works.

Got to the barbeque and it was a relaxed affair. The sun was out and although I slapped some lotion on there was plenty of shade which I kept unintentionally finding myself in. I'm good in small doses so I tried to be funny and memorable for 5-10 minutes with people that I was introduced to before I scuttled off to someone else or took up position by one of the barbeques. It was nice to just chill to be fair. I had a laugh cooking the burgers and sausages with a fellow chef and our efforts to outshine the host who was cooking the chicken on his grill. A few nice burgers and I finished with a little alcohol which helped get me a little dozy and lead to a really good sleep.

Up and round to my aunt (it's complicated as basically she is my grandad's second wife but is who I have kept the most contact with on that side of the family) for some brekkie and a chat. She lives in a granny annexe on the side of the house. Not having seen her for five months I think she enjoyed rustling up a little breakfast for me and I enjoyed her company and the meal, which was bacon, egg and sausages. As I'd stayed over for the night I wasn't sure what their plans were and whether they wanted me to remain for the day or head off but as they were going out for a lunchtime meal, I got my stuff together and hit the road around midday. My mates's brother had during the week bought some paintball guns and was keen to try them out and had invited me and my bro down that Sunday afternoon. Confirmed my attendance en route back which was uneventful bar a silver range rover who was up for my arse for the first leg on the M25. I let him go past even though I hadn't been holding him up and he attempted to speed off in a wanky, 'I control the road and am far to important to chug along behind anyone' way. Amazingly I managed to catch him up as he hadn't been able to get that far in front of me and just before my turn off he pulled over and let me speed past him. Small pathetic victory but I confess to letting out a little battle cry as I overtook him. Amazing the things you notice or games you play when bored on the road.

Got in and caught the end of the MotoGP, which looked like it had been a tad tedious with Rossi romping to victory after a big, starting grid crash wiped out a good few of his rivals. I then threw my paintballing stuff  in a bag and headed down to my mate's brothers place in rural Kent. It's lovely scenery down there and still being a lovely day, it felt good heading down the country lanes with the window open, shades on and the wind ruffling my hair. Got to their place, had a laugh and a drink and then got changed for some paintball. Compared to the Tippman 98's  that we used the previous weekend these were some serious guns. Spyders if anyone is interested. They have an electronic feeder and trigger enabling them to go fully auto and fire up to 15 rounds a second. They are lightweight, accurate for a fair range and fire straighter and truer than anything I've ever fired before. Outstanding guns, really impressive.

We played a few games of hide in the farm trailer while the others attacked it. My mate cracked his brother on the head with a beauty which made him glad he'd worn the fleece beanie hat that I'd urged him to do despite his protests that we were being nancy boys. I also managed to smack him with a peach of a shot in the face mask for his troubles. I went in the trailer later on and it was a little frightening laying down in it fearful of putting your head up as the paintballs whipped overhead. They were almost like muted laser beam sounds from a sci fi film as they literally cut through the air. We took turns in a solo game where we basically tried to remove a tea towel from a post as the hosts two daughters (8 & 4) shot as us. They loved it immensely and were surprisingly good shots, expecially the eight year old. We finished with a deathmatch style game in the woods. I holed up in the middle and waited, suddenly aware that I was being buzzed by an assortment of midges and flies but trying not to be occupied with killing them and receive a train of paintballs in the side of my head. I saw someone coming through the trees, took aim and let off a few rounds. Unbeknown to me I'd hit him with my first shot but who was taking prisoners. I darted away and hid. A few minutes later he came through the trees again. Maybe I should have let him walk onto the barrel of the other player who was also prowling the woods but I took my shot and we opened up a salvo. Paintballs were ripping through the foliage and I was returning fire as much as I could. I squeezed behind a tree as he peppered the other side with yellow paint. I fired another burst and made a run for it. This was my downfall. He gave chase and balls were zipping past me like angry bees. I crashed to the ground behind a tree with him about ten feet away. We traded some more fire and I hoped that the other player might come in to pick him off but alas no. He got a bead on me and stitched a bead of automatic fire up my arm. As the 4th or 5th ball seemed to hit exactly the same place the pain became too much and I shouted 'ok, ok' and surrendered. We left the woods swapping war stories and took off our masks, scarfs, gloves, hats and jackets. We were asked if we wanted to stay for tea, which we accepted.

My brothers mate had already got the quads out so we hopped on those and the two of us went for a spin around the fields. They took a bit of time to get used to as they were geared but by using a foot gear lever, which I've never used before. Had some real fun and it was nice to cool down with the wind in your face after the heat of the paintball clothing. After about fifteen minutes we were waved back to the garden and parked up.

The table had been laid for dinner and I saw the hosts wife carrying out some food. I took my seat at the table replete with table cloth, cutlery and a choice of drinks as a selection of fantastic food was brought out. Roast beef and chicken, roast potatoes, yorkshire puds, selection of vegetables and gravy. What a spread! It was like something out of the Darling buds of May. Sitting in the garden with birds singing away and a light breeze, tucking into some yummy food. Sod the diet I thought. I'd burnt off plenty of calories during the day and I wasn't going to let the pursuit of weight loss affect my enjoyment of the day. The food and company was excellent and I went for second helpings. I could feel myself unwinding and dessert consisted of these delicious profiteroles. They were great because the there was plenty of chocolate sauce and the density of cream within was high. Relaxing after the meal I could certainly see the attraction of living in the country. The two daughters, who I must confess are adorable for their politeness and general happiness, wanted to go and play on the trampoline and I accompanied them over to keep them company. They clambered in and started bouncing up and down which seemed to ellicit a laugh/scream on every bounce. They wanted me to join in so I took off my shoes and clambered in.

It was really nice playing with the girls but I'm aware that one has to be careful who you say this to. A single guy in his 30's admitting that he had fun playing with two young girls conjures images of sickness and perversion to some people. What I enjoyed was their laughing and happiness and how me playing with them seemed to bring real delight. One gets used to being judged by everyone you encounter yet here I wasn't judged on my position or status and was purely liked because I was entertaining them. In their company I felt like I could act like a kid without feeling I should 'grow up'. I felt like I'd been given a youth tablet and felt really young again.

Normally when I come across kids I enter with a cynical attitude expecting them to be surly, miserable and spoilt yet these two were bright, cheerful, well balanced and happy and I really enjoyed their company. Is that wrong to admit. Will I be judged a little twisted for saying this. I complimented their mum on how nice they were but even then felt a little conscious that I might be thought of as strange. Not because their mum was unkind but the media paranoia and frenzy about paedophilia seems to send these waves through society to the point where I felt bad for saying that I liked them. At one point when we were in the trampoline net the girls said they wanted to play a game of trying to take my socks off me and then I had to get them back. Naturally it was a purely innocent suggestion from the girls who simply wanted to play a game but I couldn't help but try to dissuade them from wanting to play it. I was aware that the game would involve touching and even though I know the parents have nothing to fear from me didn't want anyone thinking that I had instigated a game that involved touching. Isn't it a shame nowadays that one can feel like this.

They had to go to bed naturally and I must confess that the trampoline gave me a good final workout in a way. I helped pack up the stuff and as the sky turned dark I bid my farewells and started the drive home. I felt truly content on the way home. I'd had a wonderful day, played with some boys toys, had a nice meal in lovely surroundings and been in the company of nice, friendly people. I felt like I'd really done something with the weekend. I confess to feeling a touch of envy, and not in an unpleasant jealous way, for my mate's brother. I know the grass is greener on the other side but he had a nice place in the country, a lovely wife and two great kids. Is this the model to aspire towards? it could well be.

I did a fair chunk of miles this weekend, probably around 400, and it was all worthwhile. I'd had probably my best Sunday of the year and I felt more whole and more in touch with the simple pleasures that life can bring. 

 

World cup and paintball - 12/06/2006

And another week starts. Hit the pool again and cracked out another good hour. I do seem to find swimming more palatable than the notion of hitting the gym. I'm still knackered afterwards and just like the running machine can find it tedious but at least once committed to a length you know if you don't carry on you might drown, which is highly motivational. Did some journaling on Tuesday but became a little de-motivated and didn't finish it.

Seemed to spend a fair chunk of time sourcing equipment to improve my enjoyment of the forthcoming paintballing. Was looking round at army surplus stuff and face masks. Came across this wicked site in America for a company called Ops Gear equipment. You gotta love the Americans and how into things they get. This company offer all manner of wicked military kit such as clothing, throats mic's, helmuts, laser sights etc. They also produce these mouldings to go over the Tippman paintball guns that can make them then look like popular assault rifles which then are directly fed from gas in a back pack. They also have various outfits under team roles like a team leader or sniper that look so awesome. They produce this sniper rifle and whole outfit which looks so cool. Ok this might make me sound weird and strange with an unhealthy passion but lets face it, people who do paintball are effectively playing war / soldiers. If you are going to play war then you might as well embrace it and run with your childhood dreams. Anyway ordered a camo jacket and some gloves.

No gym on Wednesday due to a strange pain in my right knee. I honestly felt guilty that I was letting myself down and that this would be a start of the collapsing of my health drive. It made sense not to go as I wouldn't want to push it with the paintball on Sunday but even so I still felt bad. Ordered a couple of excellent JT masks. We wanted to get these to prevent fogging which I regularly seem to suffer from at paintball and also the thought of putting my mouth half an inch from where someone elses has been is never a plus of paintballing. These babies have double glazed lensing to prevent the fog and are also lighter and tighter. Decided to get one for my bro as a surprise.

They arrived on Thursday and were great. When I got home that night after listening to Armin I got my brother to come up. Like the child I am I got him to wait in the other room while I put my gear on. Black boots that a work colleague had leant me, camo combat trousers, camo jacket, scrim scarf, green woollen hat, fingerless mitts and the mask. As I called him in I dropped the main tune from Rambo:First Blood part II for added impact. He was impressed and to be fair so was I. I got him to comment on the mask before producing the one I'd bought for him. He was pleased and wore it for some time to get used to the comfort while we discussed endless scenarios and tactics for the games.

A work colleague has challenged me to a month long weight loss task. He wants to lose weight as well and we both weighed ourselves in the office to get down the starting weight. It's going to be a percentage thing as opposed to the amount of pounds which is fairer. My starting weight was 13 stone 8.75 lbs. I'm quite motivated for it. I know I need to lose a bit so it's a handy vehicle to encourage me to do it plus his goading statement of "Are you ready for a whooping, you fat bitch" should keep me true in those weaker moments. The World cup started today which I've been looking forward. I always particularly enjoy watching the other games. You do get to see a real showcase of talent and determination. As for England naturally I'm patriotic but I do think our egotistical, vain, over paid stars are motivated more for personal glory than doing it for the country which is a shame. I also find our arrogance quite frustrating. Almost as if no other team there wants to win the title. Yes we have some real stars but they rarely play as a team and as someone recently said to me it's better to have a champion team than a team of champions.

Anyway thankfully the BBC are running their games live on broadband so was able to watch the first game which was Germany vs Costa Rica. I always think it's a good sign if there are a good few goals in the first match and it ended up 4-2 to Germany. The new football seems to fly through the air with real pace and has a tendency to swerve producing some real belter 'roy of the rovers' type goals. Managed to get the journal part of my site onto blogger.com which in turn meant I could put it onto blogexplosion which I hope might generate so more readers. Demonstrated my commitment to the weight thing when got fish'n'chips that night and I made do with about a 5th of my brothers piece of cod and about a quarter of his chips. Needless to say the very fact that I denied myself the chance to pig out on them meant they tasted even better.

Saturday was a bit of a whirl. Up early-ish as needed some bits before seeing the England game. Wanted to get some knee pads from Argos for paintballing but naturally they didn't have them in stock as of course they were an extra item that are only available at Extra stores. Mild anger that I tried to dispel but combined with the heat only seemed to make me snappy. Up to collect a friend encountering dreadful lunchtime traffic that caused the rage to build even further and we managed to make it into our chosen venue with about ten minutes to spare. England scored after about five minutes which then seemed to take the wind out of ones supporting sails. You are used to willing your team on to score but when they score straight away it seems to take that hunger away. Because of our late arrival we found a good spot but it meant the power lead for the projector that was showing the game to at least forty eager fans was running past our feet and even between my brothers, so we were very aware to keep our celebrations restrained. Got chatting to a friendly australian during the second half called Raf (nickname) who was over as part of a long trip and kept us entertained with stories of his job and life.

Followed the game with a trip to Noodle Time which is one of my favourite eateries. The food is cheap and filling, the service quick and clean and I find it hard to fault it. Followed this with a trip to the cinema to see United 93. It was ok. Viewed as a documentary it was very good but as a film I wasn't sure. Maybe it could have done with the added power of actually hearing one of the phone calls made by the relatives from the plane. I know some might think that exploitive but when the film was ramming home the enormity of what happened I think it's hard to top the realness of one of those calls. Despite the annoying chatter and fluster from at least two other parties in the cinema it certainly held my interest. The fact that I can remember what I did on 9/11 so vividly made it fascinating to see what was really going on in air traffic control etc that day. I confess that the emotion of the final five minutes of the film did have me close to tears when witnessing the futile and desperate actions of the passengers. Seeing them struggling with the controls and attempting to remove the guy flying it as the ground raced up towards them had an amazing visceral quality that certainly had an impact on me. Had a quick beer afterwards and as I headed to the toilet was told that I was considered fit by this quite attractive young girl. I was ready to make some quick chat and leave her with a card on my return from the toilet but she had already started chatting to another guy, women eh!

Couldn't sleep at all on Saturday night due to the goddam heat. I had an early start on Sunday but trying to get some hours into the sleep bank was nigh on impossible. Up at 7.00 after a total of about three hours sleep and got ourselves ready for collection. Mate picked us recreating an Arnie-ism by smoking a stubby cigar whilst wearing shades which made us laugh and we headed to Westerham where the paintball was being held.

Good facilities and a couple of nice girls working behind the counter. My hairdresser had arranged the day and we hooked up with him and his mates who were really nice guys. That's the great thing about blokes and paintball in that when you initially meet you can't help but remain in your little groups. Go a couple of games in and start discussing war stories and shared experiences and the barriers come tumbling down. I had a really good time and although very hot during the day you only really noticed it when standing in direct sunlight. Once the game started and despite the layers you only seemed to concentrate on not getting shot rather than worrying about the heat. Everything that I'd bought for the day performed very well, particularly the masks which didn't fog or need continual re-adjusting. The Matterhorn boots were outstanding, supportive and comfortable. The only thing that let me down was the gun which seemed to have intermittent power, a safety switch that couldn't decide when it wanted to be on and a tendency to uncock itself or load two balls at once. It's amazing when you have a mask on how aware you become of your own breathing as it seems a lot louder.

Highlights for me would be the first game where the four of us moved up on the right, flanking the enemy. I was right at the sharp end sweeping round and must have got about four kills which was immensely satisfying. Another was a game in the afternoon when we had to attack a fort that the red team was occupying. I got myself reasonably close but then came under fire and ducked behind these two logs. Two more guys joined me and then a fourth and it must have been comical to see these four guys all squashed up behind this tiny barricade as paint rained down onto it. My final highlight was in the second to last game where we hung back to defend. We set up these wicked positions and then spotted two creeping round behind. The games were unfortunately a little short, 15 minutes, but this allowed for some real cat and mouse stuff as the attackers crept in unaware that at least three of us had clocked him. As one of my mates moved in on the left I saw a gap in the vegetation and took my shot. Got him! His comrade was dispatched a few minutes later by one of the guys who crept off to stalk him. We then turned our attention round as someone did a banzai charge and holed up behind this tree. He must have been in the crossfire of about four of us and a marshall ran over to see if he'd been hit. Amazingly he hadn't (which I think was bullshit because some of them were clearly cheating) so when the marshall stepped back and resumed play we lit him and his cover up like a christmas tree. All too soon the whistle was called which was a real shame as we were dug in like an Alabama tick and I would have enjoyed some more people having a go. Headed home feeling a little tired but oh so enjoying the crisps and water that I'd packed for the return leg.

Ten minute snooze on the sofa, followed by beans on toast (well to the side of course) and a bath and we finished the weekend strong with some drinks and the pictures. Amazingly all the pubs seemed empty even though it was still lovely and warm and one can only assume that the mid saturday England game the day before had burnt people out and everyone else was at a multitude of family BBQ's. We saw the Poseidon remake which was extremely poor. It's amazing how much story and character was crammed into the original compared to this vacuous trash. The opening CGI shots of the boat were really bad as where some of the blue screen work when it was obvious the actors weren't in the great hall. I do find it incredible that in the age of next gen consoles that some of the piss poor CGI in films gets through. What was worse than the effects though were the oh so shallow, bland, paper thin characters. Richard Dreyfus who only let on that he was gay just as the camera pans round revealing his diamond stud earing, the intentionally obnoxious Kevin Dillon whose only purpose is to die after proclaiming how 'lucky' he was, utterly irrelevant and ham fisted character development in the middle of set pieces and an oh so annoying kid who just wanders off and get trapped with no explanation of how and why. How poor. I always read about test audiences and what scores they give. Who are these test audiences, are they alive, have they ever seen a movie before, is there an imbecility criteria to pass before admission. Oh well, it was something to do.

It seemed even hotter that night and my efforts to sleep where even more in vain. My bedroom is west facing so receives the full blast of the setting sun which naturally heats my room up and I worked out that it is only cool enough to sleep in once the sun has gone all the way round the earth and coming up in the East! I ended up grabbing two hours on the floor of the living room which is east facing and thus bearable before returning to my room at around 4.30am for a final couple of hours in my bed.

 

Filmharmonic and London by night - 05/06/2006

Up with with a zip on Tuesday for the coming week. Ok, I lied, I woke up vowing to have the mother of all lie ins on Saturday due to naturally screwing up my body clock at the weekend, though you know by now that I rarely sleep anyway on a Sunday night. It's only the desire for wanting more sleep that makes me rue having to get up as thankfully I don't dread the notion of going to work as I did with some previous jobs. Had a client meeting so seemed to spend most of the day in the car either going or coming back. We had a laugh and a fine chicken sandwich from Tesco's. Got back to the office late-ish due to traffic and didn't have time to make my journal entry, which I normally try to do on a Tuesday night.

The fortnight had come round and it was Lost double bill night. This is so the right format to watch this series. You don't get stressed and feel like you've been able to chew on something of real substance. Talking of substance you can't have an event without a decent meal and the evening was commenced with the remainder of my fabulous Spag Bol with garlic ciabatta, sour cream dip (heaven is dipping a hot slice into the cold dip and then taking a bite), pepsi and a muller fruit corner. Good episodes, though I preferred the latter one which dealt with the other group's first 45 days. Considering how long the initial people's story has been dragged out for it was refreshing, rewarding and entertaining to see their whole story in one episode. I'm liking Michelle Rodriguez's character more along with Mr Eko. With our continuing format I feel Lost could be our tentpole TV programme through the summer months.

Went hard again at the gym on Wednesday. I never expect to when I start as it seems the first ten minutes on the running machine always kill me and I contemplate the foolishness and futility of coming to the gym. Still the first half hour was enjoyable for the eye candy though after this I got in the groove and pumped away to some Armin. Nailed out 950 calories this time and was unsurprisingly shagged. Still no noticeable benefit and I do realise that this is because my body has found a balanced stasis. It knows how much I'm burning and requestitions the appropriate energy only from what I shovel down my throat. It's just the final hurdle of dedication that I need to curb my eating and then it will start attacking my energy sorry fat reserves. If I met someone then the desire to keep or impress them would over ride the desire to snack or eat so heartedly and I'm sure the excess stone would be easier to lose. Until then I'll keep chugging along trying not that hard to curb my pleasure of eating unhealthy crap.

I've been toying with the idea of seeing Armin van Buuren as he's going to be playing @Slinky in Bournemouth in the next couple of weeks. It means driving down there on a Friday on my own, partying hard and then driving back. Maybe it will be fun for me to do a road trip  by myself. Maybe I can take a wander down by the beach when it's over and watch the sun come up (not that Bournemouth has a beach that faces East). Half of me thinks it could be great seeing him play, enjoying it just for myself and experiencing it alone, yet the cynical side says I'll go all that way expecting some 'road to damascus' enlightenment and in fact it will be crap and I'll crash on the way back when I fall asleep at the wheel. You'd love to think that through the shared love of the music that I'd hook up with other like minded people as I did all those years ago at the Colosseum but the scene has moved on a lot since then and reflects society's distrust of strangers or loners. I'll go for the music, trust Armin to deliver and everything else can be surplus to this. Anyway I checked with some others what Slinky was like (Slinky by the way being a hard house and trance night at The Royal Opera house in Bournemouth) and how long his set will be. As it's going to be 2 1/2 hours I thought I'd give it a go and ordered a ticket, which means I take along the receipt and shouldn't have to queue up.

That night I'd ordered tickets for my brother and I to attend an event called Filmharmonic at The Royal Albert Hall. As you can probably gather form the title it was a night of film scores played by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Bro met me at work and we drove into Central London, entering the congestion zone three minutes after it was no longer in force. We managed to park with ease in my favourite place which is road that runs down the side of Charing Cross station. Ideal place really as its very central to all the stations but when you return is an easy drop onto the embankment which can whisk you out of town reasonably easily. We grabbed a tube marvelling at the sheer volume of city honeys milling the street with their after work drinks with friends. Timescales were tight but I would love to have dawdled a little bit and maybe donated a card or two here and there. Took the tube from Embankment to South Kensington and then ran all the way to the Albert Hall as the show started at 7.30 and our tube must have pulled in at about 7.21 Needless to say with the angle that we approached the hall our entrance door was on the complete opposite side. We bolted in, up the stairs, jumper flapping around my waist, into the toilets for a quick whizz, splash of water to perspiring face though the water was hot and to our seats. The row was full and our seats right in the middle so we made ourselves popular. Sat down, switched off our mobiles, the lights dimmed and off it started. They fired up with Mission Impossible, which felt apt considering the timing of our arrival and then some other tunes. Once I cooled I began to settle into the show and take a look around. The Albert Hall is mightily impressive though the central pit and stage are smaller than they look on the tv. The mushroom noise assister things hanging from the ceiling are fascinating to look at and you wonder how they got them up their and also how they worked out the perfect height to assist in sound reproduction.

The chairs there are uncomfortable seeming to be designed for the someone with very narrow hips and hardly any length in the legs. We were in the cheap seats so I could hardly complain. The show had been billed as a film score extravaganza with the likes of Star Wars, Superman, Rocky and Lord of the Rings. I guess the mold for the evening was set when the annoying compere said they were going to play some Star Wars and then announced it would be an obscure piece from Attack of the Clones. Umm, so it's going to be like this. Get us here under the pretense of playing purely popular stuff and then start hitting us with less well known pieces to either 'educate our simpleton needs' or just fill time. He then introduced a composer who after conducting a piece from Lavendar Girls played a medly from the TV series Maigret, Wycliffe and Hetty Wainthrop investigates! hardly film scores I think. I tried not to get disappointed and consoled myself that the second half is always better. Unfortunately it was not. Once the compere, who by now was beginning to grate had finished plugging the orchestra's latest album we received a medley of Ben Hur, Psycho and some Errol Flynn film which was rather tedious. Then we had another composer who played two scores from two low budget as of yet unreleased films. Naturally not knowing them they dragged and the chairs restrictions became even more noticeable.

What surprised me as well was the amount of coughs, murmurs and clearing of throats that was going on. I've become a little used to, though still intolerant of it, at the cinema but at an event which is purely based around the sense of hearing I would have expected people to make more of an effort to restrain their body chatter. It was incredible, at some points I'd almost start laughing as a cough would start way down below, which gave someone else the confidence to clear their throat and then someone else the confidence to sneeze. It was like a Mexican Cough circulating the auditorium. The middle aged chap next to me even started texting someone during the final two numbers!

Eventually this boring conductor finished to undeserved clapping in my book and I hoped things might pick up. We got the main tune from Schindlers List which is very good with the solo violin piece and then ended on a tune from the new War of the Worlds film. Believe me although it's by John Williams, it's hardly memorable and not the rousing finish you might expect of a once a year 'spectacular'. The main conductor, a Tolga Kashif, who must have had the shits or a bladder problem as he only seemed capable of lasting 15 minutes at a time on his plinth during the evening disappeared, returned, did the cheesy accept the audience praise and then disappeared. They didn't encore with anything and didn't play Rocky. My brother and I were pissed. Ok we hadn't gone there just for Rocky but they had mentioned on the site and I even heard someone in the more expensive seats shout it out but didn't have the courage to run with it and attempt to start a chant. Everyone started to pile out, though some had started leaving with five minutes to go and we waited for people to clear. I was really disappointed. Yes the stuff we knew was good but I couldn't understand that elitist kind of attitude of 'we'll entice the dumb masses in with promises of blockbuster tunes and then give some unknown tracks'. Their website blurb said "to hear the RPO play great music specially scored for blockbuster movies" - I hardly call music from two independant films that haven't even been released and a medley of tv themes a celebration of huge movies. Oh well, you win some, you lose some but after listening to streaming soundtracks for the last couple of days I had been looking forward to some real quality Zimmer, Horner and Williams.

Decided as it was a mild evening to walk from the Hall back to Charing Cross. This gave us a chance to animatedly sound off but also take in the sights. I never get tired of walking round parts of London, especially at night when there aren't so many people around. It wasn't cold or warm but a perfect ambient temperature and not being in a rush we took our time to enjoy the walk and drink in the atmosphere. We must have set off at around 10.00 pm. Walked down into Knightsbridge, paused to look back towards the lit up Harrods, past Harvey Nichols and up to Hyde Park Corner, which naturally was as busy as ever and required us to take the well lit and non intimidatory underpass. Came out on the corner of Green Park and started walking down Constitution Hill, which runs down the side of Buckingham Palace's gardens. Everything was so civilised and so well maintained with neat park benches and a horse track running alongside the pavement with buttons for the pedestrian lights placed at horse rider height. Came out to the front of Buck Palace and took a moment to marvel at it. It's amazing to think what a well known building it is around the world yet here we are in the capital city of our country and we are standing mere yards from it. No visible guards, no searchlights, no fluff and bluster and no feeling that you had to move along. Just good ole Buck Palace going about it's business. The lawns outside were all beautifully maintained and I don't know if they were getting ready for a pageant, trooping the colour or something like that but these huge Union Jacks were on display around Queen Victoria's Memorial and lining all the way up The Mall. It looked really impressive. All the flags were clean, neat and tidy. None were incorrectly hung or the odd one missing and it was heartwarming to see that some real effort had been made. It was quietly patriotic and understated yet it filled me with a real sense of national pride.

Ambled up The Mall, through Admiralty Arch which was similarly festooned with flags and past the covered up statue of Nelsons Column which must be undergoing that needed clean.  Jumped back in the car and headed off to the drive through McDonalds near Canary Wharf. I still look at McDonalds as treat's and this was our evening one which though wasn't brilliant as the place was shutting up for the night and thus not freshly cooked was still enjoyable.

I got the lay in I'd thought of at the beginning of the week come Saturday though it was nearly taken away by an impromptu awakening at around 8.00am. Nothing like rolling over on a Sat morning for a couple of hours more kip is there. Watched a little of the build up to England's second friendly match and hit the gym. Was a gloriously warm sunny day and the gym was naturally devoid of women. Managed to push the calorie meter to a 1000 calories burnt this time and certainly felt it. Heading back into the changing room and having difficulty removing the t-shirt because its sodden and seemingly glued to your neck is always a reassuring sign that you have pushed as hard as you can. Sauna, showered and off to the shops feeling great. With the post exercise good vibe and the sun beating down spirits were high. I even bought a pink linen shirt that would nicely accompany a sandy coloured pair of trousers that I'd recently rediscovered in my wardrobe. In Sainsburys I even bought some bits for a ham baguette sandwich. Summer must definately be hear when I contemplate something other than a hot meal on a weekend night.

I was in the mood to go out and wear my new shirt and with the clothing, or lack of, that women were wearing at five in the afternoon was looking forward to seeing some more in their summer evening glad rags. Hooked up with my bro for a drink and then onto a nightclub. I didn't want a big spending night and thankfully a flyer ensured free entry to the nightclub. I drove and thus met my bro in the club which meant I queued alone. The bouncer told me I should cheer up after allowing me in and I did feel like turning round and saying " I'm sorry but even at the age of 34 I'm aware how your arrogant, power crazy, adolescent girl flirting minds work in that if I'm too happy I'll be either refused entry for looking pissed or drugged or for simply not showing humility to your importance" - wanker! The music was ok but there was a hostile mood in the air which maybe I could detect more as I wasn't drinking. After doing some people watching I decided to call it a night and headed home.

Sunday was another great MotoGP race with all the main protagonists duelling for the win. Naturally the commentators said it was the best as it was the one Rossi won but my favourite was still the one in Shanghai. Saying that though this still had it's share of drama and overtaking and I do bow to Rossi's skill in getting his victory. Great racing though a real shame Casey Stoner crashed out as he was doing well and I really like his brand of balls out trying to win in a team that still doesn't have any major sponsors. He's the real underdog and I love routing for them. This really is turning out to be the motor sport event of the year in my book. Did very little else really. Watched the original Poseidon Adventure which was good, did some washing and all the normal relaxing sunday things. Ummed and ahhed about seeing United 93 which I really want to see but decided to hold fire until next Saturday as that will be a quietish one due to paintball being the following day.

 

Way to go Armin - 30/05/2006

Managed to maintain my swimming again, hooking up with an old friend for a good blasting. Could have done with a little longer session and less posing slow coaches that were pissing me off but in fairness providing the fuel for the fury that was pushing me further on. Went for a drink afterwards, you can't beat an orange J20 with ice after a good swim. We actually drank in the pub with the barmaid who received the card but she wasn't in there. I wouldn't have spoken to her or given any form of hassle if she had been but it would have been nice to have been reminded of her face.

Gym on Wednesday was made easier as my new Armin van Buuren CD turned up so I could listen to it on my nano to keep me occupied during the running and rowing. Managed to burn 900 calories, which seems to be my current benchmark. No change on the scale when I weighed myself though and guess if I'm serious I'll just have to cut down on my eating.

Thursday night was the 250th episode of State of Trance and I brought in my headphones in preparation. I had some emails to respond to as well. I find my weekly schedule seems to be journal entry on Tuesday and email response on Thursday. Had a small problem with the trance station on iTunes not wanting to play anything and had to scramble round the web to find a free airing on the digitally imported site. Armin wasn't on until 11.00 and had basically hired a nightclub in The Hague for him and other DJ's to play at from where they were broadcasting live. It started with a classic set and then another DJ. It was good hearing it live as you could hear people in the background of the club. Not load enough to ruin the music but enough to generate atmosphere.

I'd remembered the previous evening an actor that I used to work with and as I had a free two week trial of imdb.pro got his agents details and dropped him an email. It will be nice if he responds as he was a great guy and it would be nice to chew the cud. Fired off a few more emails, kept myself entertained and Armin came on at 11.00pm. I hadn't actually envisioned staying at the office this late but you could feel it was a special night and sometimes you've got to live for the now. OK being alone in the office was hardly the same as being in the club but the music was being played live and I felt there was a connection. The mix started slowly but that was fine. It was a two hour set and all good DJ's should take you on a clear journey. I kept myself supplied with tea and the occasional snack and didn't feel tired. One guy I was chatting with on the Tidy board asked why I just didn't download it and I explained about living for the moment. Life can be quite boring and I'm sure I'll remember for longer the act of staying late and enjoying the music rather than saving it for a more convenient time. As important as I am the world doesn't revolve around me so if you want to experience shared activities then there is a fair chance you will have to inconvenience yourself. Besides I wasn't needed anywhere or letting anyone down, so what the hell. It's very similar to watching a film on TV when you already have it on DVD there's just this feeling that you are sharing it with others.

The music began to get even better and I became more excited. He dropped one tune halfway through the set (his remix of Racoon - Love you more) which had the audience singing along and I was rocking in the chair and punching my finger in the air at the right moments. It was really great. His set finished to a cracking high with this wonderfully uplifting and empathetic track at 1.00am and I thought this might be a good time to head home, saying goodbye to this chap I'd shared the last 3/4 hour with from the Tidy board.

We were heading out on Friday night so had beans to the side of toast at lunch. I don't know but I'd been looking forward to them as I hadn't had them during the week and they were great, especially with the muller fruit corner that followed. My curiosity got the better of me in the afternoon and I sent a message to the guy on the Tidy board from the previous night about how it was possible to download the show as he'd suggested. He directed me to a site which had ripped it and then uploaded it. I simply downloaded onto my computer, from here moved to my Apple library and from this onto my nano. How sensationally cool. I couldn't believe it. Christ the power of the internet strikes again. There I was listening to the live show the night before and now I had it saved onto my nano to listen to at my leisure. I was stoked and couldn't stop saying to my work colleagues 'can you believe it' and 'god I love my nano'. I must confess that I hadn't been that impressed with it after having our PC's nicked and then having to reload my songs but now with this it's just fantastic.

Headed down to this 70's/80's disco, stopping for a quick drink in a local pub beforehand. What a hole that was with a large smattering of inbred pikeys, one who was a spitting image of Billy Ray Cyrus, replete with mullet hairstyle. Thankfully we headed to the venue which was like going to a works dinner and dance. Varied age group from 23-63, with tables and chairs round the dance floor and a cheap bar that even served the coke to you in the actual cans, classy. It was cheesy but delightfully so and we started having a laugh. I did put in a request for 'Maniac' from Flashdance to the DJ's assistant but he looked like a dumb muppet who despite nodding clearly had no idea what I was talking about. Some woman asked if I worked in a bar as she recognised me, great line I thought but to be honest she had seen me before as we both knew my hairdressers. There were other women there but the type that might look ok from behind until you saw the weathered and worn faces at the front.

Halfway through the night I got approached by a guy publicizing a firemans disco. He was in fact a fireman and along with his colleagues and brand new engine parked outside was working the crowd. I don't like firemen as you know and his first verbal salvo was "come along mate there will be 200 gagging birds". "I'm not a fireman" I responded "it doesn't matter, they'll all be crazy for men". Nice. This is why I dislike firemen as they trade on their heroic image when in reality they aren't heroes. I was tempted to ask whether he thought this was a mis-use of public property (ie the engine) being used to tout for trade like some cheesy promoter. With a firemens strike going on in Hertfordshire maybe he could have been offering his support to save the children or trapped kittens of that county. They were still there when we left, about five of them in their firemen t-shirts and fire engine. If they were off duty why did they have the fire engine, if they were on duty then I'm sure they shouldn't have been there and doesn't their actions bring discredit on their badge. Lazy bastards. Women love them, believing they can do nothing wrong but union regulations which they all subscribe to prevent them from doing anything remotely life threatening. Yes they might cut people out of mangled cars but a skilled mechanic could do that without the uniform and hero worship. Having seen the office burnt down to the ground last year and how when they turned up it wasn't on fire yet by the time they left and under their very noses was reduced to ash I don't have much time for them. They believe they are entitled to £30k a year yet only work part time and when at work only seem to drink tea, read The Mirror and play pool. Seeing them wolf whistling and leering at the drunken women who exited the venue at the end of the night made me look on them with even greater contempt.

Despite them we had a good time. No female interaction bar the friends we were with and a good old boogie for the last half an hour though the DJ turned into a rather annoying MC who seemed hell bent on interrupting every song to promote the next event. We left and while walking back to the car were accosted by some drunken cow by a phone box who wanted 40p for the phone. My friend being a little drunk offered to help and said he would fill up the phone for her. She did have a mobile but amazingly the battery didn't work and it was sat next to a large can of extra strength lager. With a handful of change he said "I don't do enough for charity and am happy to help". "I don't need your charity" she suddenly responded. Fine I said and dragged my friend off which naturally resorted in a torrent of language from the pissed up ho when she realised her gravy boat was leaving. I try to be a nice guy but sometimes you wish for a gun so you could double tap these mofo's in the head and do society a favour. Dropped mate off and raced home to listen to my downloaded show in bed. It was great again and really fired me back into dance and I vowed to really embrace the coming night.

The plan was to get up late on Saturday so as to program my body clock later so that I wouldn't tire in the early hours of that night. Lazed in bed until 12.00 ish and then with brother headed to Bluewater to get some laces for my trainers and a few other bits. It's amazing how it's virtually impossible to buy laces for trainers. I knew I could get them in footlocker but didn't like their range as they have this harder edge-ing which makes it feel like you are tieing barbed wire. Had to go for these though as no other shoe or sport shop seemed to stock any laces. Grabbed a Mac (well it was the Bank Holiday weekend) while my brother told me the story of X-Men 3 which he'd seen the previous night and how disappointed he thought it was. Headed home via Sainsburys and took our time to get ready. After the previous nights re-energizing of my dancing feet decided to slap some UV war paint on. I put on a 1 1/2 inch wide strip of green and pink either side of my nose and painted a pink inch wide strip of hair at the front. I know some people don't like cyber and it probably looked ridiculous but within this kind of environment no one minds and in a way makes you feel like you have made more an effort for the night. It is almost like war paint because you feel its a way of saying 'right I'm here to dance and have some fun'.

Picked up mate on route and along with bro headed to the Brixton Academy. Got settled, got some drinks in and moved to our normal place. Left hand side to the rear and waited for the tunes to pick up. They did and we had a little shake but it didn't seem to catch fire. The Tidy boys came on who we've seen at previous weekenders and I assumed could be relied on to deliver but they didn't. I've spoken to them since and they say it's because they only had a hour set but there wasn't any flow to the tunes and the vibe seemed to be missing from the crowd. They dropped a few Tony de Vit classics but it seemed desperate measures and a little bit too late. I was also finding it hard to find a dry part of the dance floor as there is nothing more annoying, and potentially damaging, than a wet slippery dance floor when you are pulling off the kind of moves I do. Lab 4 came on after and they normally deliver a mad, fast, energy burning performance but they dropped the ball even harder. They interrupted their set twice to play the drums and guitar and the crowd seemed to stutter and fall apart. They seemed more concerned with the multitude of photographers on stage than noticing that the main dance floor was emptying out as if it were about to shut. After two hours of this disappointment it got to a point where my body was feeling the aches of standing up for so long etc, whereas normally I wouldn't even notice it. We headed upstairs to take a seat and look down onto the main stage. Even up here was busier than normal indicating that more people were wanting to sit the next set out. We called it a night at about 4.00 ish and headed back to the Blackheath tea hut. No matter how bad the night the tea hut delivers and you can't beat (as I've said before) relaxing in the car with a double cheeseburger with fried egg and onions and a cup of tea. It's like a rites of passage and can encourage even the most imagination free mind to contemplate the deepest thoughts while enjoying the dawn light and the first swig of tea.

The Monaco F1 race was entertaining on Sunday. Unfortunately Alonso won again but it wasn't a certainity until Raikonnen's engine blew and Mark Webber's driving was better than both of them. Nice to see a good F1 race though boredom does set in when Alonso seems to win every race. Headed to Blackheath that evening with friends for some quiet drinks and ended up doing a mini pub crawl. No one was going mad and I was driving but it was good to see some other pubs than the O'Neills. Before we moved on we were certainly getting some looks in O'Neills but the next pub was in a practical time warp and couldn't be any deader than where we had come from. I felt good though and struck up conversation with a blonde who was wearing a J'Adore Marmite t-shirt. I was only interested to ascertain her thoughts on the squeezy marmite as I personally think its wrong. Marmite isn't syrup and what's wrong with the line of marmite running from the jar to the toast when you try and spread. It turns out she was American and married as her husband promptly appeared. No worries I hadn't been making a play. We stayed for one and then onto another which seemed quite cool. It was a Sunday so it wasn't hugely busy but showed promise. Finally we ended up going to Cave Austin. Wow our prayers have been answered. Nice atmosphere, a dance area downstairs and some fine, quality filly's on display. This night was turning out way better than expected and I felt good. I even briefly chatted to another girl that I passed on the stairs at one point. Sadly the girls that we were with wanted to head home and thus we had to leave as we couldn't really say 'Yeah we are going to stay here so see ya later'. Frustrating that we didn't stay as I felt like I was in the zone. Not that I would have chatted more girls up but just that I felt a lot more comfortable and confident. Well at least we now know of it's existence though I fear it will never live up to the promise of what that first night might have been.

It was another Bank Holiday Monday and another relaxing lay in was had. Plenty of washing was done and had an excellent over an hour long swimming session which really blew the cobwebs out. The pool was about half full and for the last twenty minutes I had the lane to myself without having to worry about catching slow movers or being over taken myself. Had a truly excellent Spag Bol. It had been a few weeks since my last and I hadn't lost the magic. Watched Crocodile Dundee again. What a great film this still is with some great moments and classic lines. Like Ride with the Devil the previous weekend it's near the end when Susan is in the subway station trying to communicate with Mick through the commuter crowd. She is speaking through a tall black guy and in turn an italian construction worker. I just love the bit when the black guy shouts down to the italian "tell him don't leave, she not gonna marry Richard". His pause and delivery of Richard is great and regularly quoted in the office. Then watched the beginning episode of Firefly again which like a fine wine (not that I drink wine) continues to improve with repeated viewings.

Yeah a good weekend in total. Ok I didn't meet the woman of my dreams but certainly felt like I did a lot and had some fun. Going out on the Friday night and having the Monday off made it seem even longer which is great. Talk soon.

 

Running out of shower gel - 22/05/2006

And here we are again with the explanation of my week. Managed to snap one of the tighteners on my goggles in the pool on Monday but I persevered and it didn't let in as much water as I'd expected. Good session though and swam for over an hour.

Tuesday was a Lost double bill night. My brother and I have decided to watch it every fortnight so that we get to watch one episode on Ch4 and then the next on E4. We find it better as I'm not then clock watching and becoming frustrated at some of the padding that might go on. You feel a lot more satisfied afterwards. It was entertaining as ever and further revealed some characters that may be interesting later in the series.

A friend lent me March of the Penguins which I enjoyed. It did show how good the work is of the BBC wildlife team in that it was comparable to this movie. The photography and narration by Morgan Freeman were excellent and there were many touching scenes in the film. The courting was particularly tender with the penguins revealing themselves to be quite tactile creatures. Even the actual mating which with some animals can seem almost 'animal like' had a rather gentle way about it. The sacrifices that they make to have children is truly remarkable and its almost like that their entire life after the age of five or so is just purely about producing kids. Makes you ponder the similarities with the human race and whether this the reason for our existence. I'm not saying I agree with it but seeing it so convincingly realised by the penguins then maybe this is the over riding purpose and reason for life - the continuation of your species. Some of the shots were very memorable such as the lone penguin wandering across the frozen land and the two parents touching foreheads while the baby chick sat between them. Good film.

I still seem to have trouble sleeping, despite my exercise endeavours, and coupled with attempting to eat less I am prone to become dozy around late afternoon unless I have some form of sugar intake. Dug out Britney Spears greatest hits album during the week. What an excellent album this is. I know the music fascists will be up in arms with protests of it being crap and me being obviously gay for enjoying it but I for one like her. The tunes are catchy and varied and it's a great album to sing along to. Favourite tune would be stronger but there are many others on there that I like.

Had a further indication of the power of the internet when I bought my car tax disc online. Thankfully the money I got for doing the election nicely covered the cost, so impact on my normal finances was minimal. Amazing really that you can buy something like that off the net and how quickly they can automatically check your insurance details. Oh well at least it saved me the hassle of having to go and queue in a smelly post office.

Work was a little quiet this week so I also ordered the new Armin van Buuren album. They only seem to have released it in the US so I had to import it. It arrived today so am listening to it whilst I write. So far it's delivering good, quality trance and I'm happy. I also saw something on a web site that reminded me of the classic (and much favoured by myself) novel 'I am Legend' and I decided to scoot around for some more apocalyptic books. Ordered a couple including Nevil Shute's ' On the Beach' which I think is quite famous. Knowing me I'll never get round to reading them unless I have a beach holiday to go on and I don't have plans for them at the moment. I see the value of holidays but view them as a guilty treat and almost feel I want to break the back of the year (july ish time) before I would even consider the luxury or waste of money (depending on how you look at it) of going on holiday. I find it such a difficult thing to reconcile. Well the cost that is. Were I in a relationship then the idea of going away is more logical but on one's own or with friends and I get guilty and feel the money could be put to better use or saved away for a deposit or rainy day.

Going back to the books though. I'm always drawn to these apocalyptic type of books. Maybe its the issues of loneliness and having to fend for yourself, maybe the lack of rules and regulations to adhere to or even that being only one of a handful of people left might mean that at last you could actually make a difference. My imagination was over stimulated at a younger age with the likes of Domain and The Stand and I've got to say that sometimes the idea of everyone being wiped out with a few stragglers roaming the earth is quite entertaining. Naturally these musings involve me being alive along with a handful of large breasted females scattered around while I perform heroic deeds to woo them. Maybe I consider that this would be my chance to actually get with some real honeys as their choice would be limited to me with a gun or a horde of rotting zombies. I gotta win that one surely.

State of Trance was good this Thursday and I managed to get some good reply emails done. Next week is the 250th episode and I think they might have some big things planned, so it should be a good show. Needless to say there was no contact from the barmaid. I wasn't surprised. I'm sure it might freak some people out or they might be scared of looking in case it's a website teeming with viruses or something. But you never know, maybe she looked, decided I was a loser but still smiled. For an attractive barmaid who must be regularly bombarded with phone numbers and cards one can only hope that no one has ever given her a card simply with their website address on it. If you can't be special, at least be unique eh!

How can I lose weight when I enjoy eating so much? This idea was tested again on Friday when the concept of 'hot lunch' was touted round the office. Someone brought in fresh steak pies and the cast was set. If you are having a pie then you might as well succumb to all other temptations, so some quality chips from a local cafe were purchased along with the preparation of some baked beans and buttered bread. If you make the decision to let go then do it in style I say and boy did I. Christ you can't beat a good pie with chips and beans at lunchtime. Naturally I enjoy all the other fast foods that we get but there is just something more civilised and more collective as a team with all of us sat round a table with knives and forks. I'm a man of simple tastes and what a meal. Later that afternoon I also received a mid year bonus from my two directors. They never cease to surprise and humble me with their generosity. As well as being delighted, I also felt guilty as sometimes I do not feel I work for them as hard as I should to be so well rewarded. That's not saying that I'm lazy, just that what I do I think many others could do quite easily. I am unswervingly loyal though and never stop reminding them how much I enjoy working there. Having been an employer myself I understand the value of that at least.

Got in late and decided to watch Wolf Creek which I been lent. It's an Australian horror film and was rather good. Being late and a scary film I thought I'd maximise the viewing experience and watch it in bed, in the dark with the headphones on. I did temper this though with a sandwich and yoghurt (muller fruit corner which I've since developed a craving for). Some Oz films seem quite cheaply made and though this wasn't made on a hollywood style budget it did spend the money in the right places. It was gory yes but genuinely unnerving and unsettling. I wouldn't say it scared me but it left me with plenty to think about and some memorable scenes and moments. It captured very well that whole feeling of being hunted and how alone one could feel in the outback.

Hit the gym hard on Saturday, punching out the calories to burn off the previous days excess. I was sweating right through by the time I hit the changing rooms. Peeled off my sodden clothes to realise that brilliantly I'd forgotten my shower gel. I was having my hair cut straight after the gym and didn't have time to head home. Naturally I cursed and quickly ran through in my head how good water is on it's own as a cleaning agent. Whilst I contemplated slapping on some liquid soap in the toilet area and then running into the shower so that I looked like someone attempting a cross channel swim covered in goose fat, I did a quick recce in the showers to see if anyone had discarded an empty shower gel bottle as they sometimes do, normally to my annoyance. Lo and behold in the last cubicle, right in the corner was a bottle of Asda moisturising cream shower gel for 69p that was virtually empty. I squeezed out as much as I could and slapped it on my hair before popping the end off and fishing round inside the rim with my little finger to extract the final dregs of gel. Being the low grade shit that it was I didn't want to introduce the water until I was sure I'd rubbed it into my hair. I also added some water to the bottle and slooshed it round before tipping it over head and shoulders. Not ideal but what was I to do. Slapped on my deodorant and spray and did apologise to my hairdresser just in case but I wasn't kicking up. Descended into a completely irrational and all consuming rage when I thought the tax man had taken a huge chunk out of my bonus after I checked my account balance. I was in a blind fury, quickly doing arithmetic in my head to calculate how much had been taken and fuming over how I would ever be able to save any cash when being robbed blind by the chancellor. Got home and investigated further to realise that in fact said bonus wasn't being paid until the following month and all my anger was pointless. What a child.

Decided on a quiet Saturday night as I have a busy bank holiday weekend coming. Is this the first sign of old age? Got a few dvd's out and settled down to watch one before realised that Ride with the Devil was on. What a great film this is and one that I will always watch. My brother had seen it before and also felt the same so we enjoyed it again together. One of Ang Lee's finest films and an interesting tale of friendship and love in the civil war. It sounds mushy but it isn't and deals with the friendship between the white Jake Roedell and black Daniel Holt very well. It also stars this lovely country and western singer called Jewel and contains one of the best lines from a film delivered with real panache by Daniel "if you've done the milking, might as well have the cream". Quality. Followed this with Sahara which we knew would be throwaway but not wasn't as bad as we might have feared.

Saw another excellent Moto GP race on the Sunday. I had begun to get frustrated with it when Rossi blasted to the front and it became very processional. I know he's talented but it seems few have the courage to challenge him and with the commentators blowing seven shades of shit up his arse it can be tedious. Joy of joy though and he had engine failure which suddenly picked things up and Marco Melandri raced to a second chequered flag. What a great season this is turning out to be. Watched the other dvd which was the film Stealth and personally I enjoyed it. I'd wanted to check this out at the cinema when initially released. I knew it was a complete popcorn movie and wasn't expecting a taut thriller but some of the action shots and explosions looked really good and the design of the planes looked awesome. It gave me what I was looking for and I can't ask for more than that. 

Looking forward to the coming weekend. Got a 70's & 80's disco on the Friday and who doesn't love getting down to those funky tunes and then out at Brixton Academy on the Saturday night for some hard house and trance. Fingers crossed for some good nights although I know from bitter experience that when you look forward to something it rarely delivers so maybe I should start expecting them to be crap and then I won't be disappointed. Until that day my friends.

 

The first card - 15/05/2006

Going swimming has fired me up to pursue the healthy-ish thing again and also a point that my brother made about wasting the gym membership fee. On Wednesday I hit it with renewed vigour and felt better for it though my legs were certainly a little tight afterwards. Headed to Sainsburys afterwards where my basket recognized my attempt at eating less. I'm not a huge fan for healthy eating, don't like salads you see so I look at it that eating less will have to suffice. Came out to discover that in a virtually deserted car park at 11.00pm someone still had to park right next to me in their rusty piece of shit. Why do people do this? It's like someone sitting next to you in the cinema when it's virtually empty.

I've been chatting with this girl in the states via an almost weekly email and it's been nice.  She's intelligent, sassy and writes well, which I like. So refreshing to communicate with similar thinkers and receive meaty emails rather than two line, content free ones. She sent me this url to a website showing something called the Evolution of Dance. It's basically this comic doing a six minute session dancing to songs from the 60's to present day. He's got some great moves and is very funny. I played it in the office and it was nice to have everyone round my desk laughing out loud and enjoying it. They all asked me to forward it on to them so hopefully I'll do my bit to continue it's dominance of the globe.

It's been an internet-y week this week. The Halo 3 announcement trailer was released this week at E3 and I downloaded it the day it came out. It doesn't give a great deal away with regards to gameplay, weapons, enemies etc but it was created using the X360 and the actual game engine. It rocks and it's nice to feel the first embryonic excitement in the first initial phases. The graphics look great, there are hints about Cortana and the fate of the Earth and the music is as inspirational as ever. I got the office to gather round, to be fair I 'd waited for my friend to see it and everyone gathered when he did. It probably meant little to them but at least they will have been at the beginning and may understand the hype and my excitement when it comes crashing in, in 2007.

Having missed it last Thursday I made sure to tune into a State of Trance this Thursday. It naturally delivered and I was on his board communicating with others whilst it played. Amazing, the power of the internet. Being able to post how much you like a particular tune as it's playing and it be read by people from around the world who are listening to it at the same, wicked!

The sun made a genuine appearance towards the end of the week and by Friday it was warm enough for me to wear shorts. I love the summer. I could never really enjoy it at other jobs due to having to wear a shirt and tie and then not being allowed to have the air con on after having been out and about because the girls in their summery dresses would get cold. Where I am now though I can fully enjoy it. Shorts, t-shirts, the lot. Driving into work seems better  while the summer is a novelty but having the windows open, shades on and being enchanted by the women in their summery clothes reminds you that this is a great time of year.

Really hit the gym on Saturday with gusto. At one point I cranked up the running machine to 15.5. It's funny how you get used to running and not going anywhere but flat out sprinting on the machine and not moving is still a little weird. Makes you realise how pounding the action is when you sprint because the impacts of your feet hitting the machine are certainly loud. Good workout, plenty of sweat and felt knackered.

Popped out for a drink and the cinema on Saturday night. The first pub that we hit had a girl in it who simply had the largest boobs I've ever seen in the flesh. We are talking Lindsey Dawn McKenzie size. My eyes nearly fell out of my head when they initially appeared. The pub was cheesy with it's above average quota of chavs and a dance floor on the first floor with a see through glass floor and ringed by a waist high wall. This made it perfect for guys to rest their pints and simply stare in at the girls on the dance floor. The huge boobed girl was dancing within the ring and practically every guy was staring or trying not to and the girl knew that she had everyone's attention. In a way I was intrigued to wonder what her life must be like. I mean she wasn't hiding them in a baggy top and they were there for the world to see but it makes you wonder what calibre of guy has the balls to actually talk to her. Is it possible that she would ever chat to a nice guy or does the law of the jungle come into play and only the arrogant, lug heads dare try it on with her.

I mean I can't say that I wasn't physically attracted to these huge, young puppies. I wouldn't be a tit man if I didn't admit that the thought of doing the 'motorboat' between them didn't cross my mind but I was fascinated by what her personality must be like. She obviously hadn't got to the stage where she couldn't stand the unwanted attention they brought and was maximising them to their fullest, ripest potential. And why not, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. At least 50% of the guys in there would have loved to have got hold of her and it makes you consider what implication that knowledge has on your psyche. When you look in the mirror before going out and know that without fail, and with very little character based input, that physically you could pretty much pull almost any guy that night wherever you went. That's an incredible power don't you think?

I mean you see cocky guys who say they are going to bed someone that night (and their confidence always staggers me) but they can't always guarantee that will not have to lower their standards to go for the ropiest, most drunken slapper they can find, so the confidence this girl must have must be mind bending. Makes you wonder at what point this confidence is rudely smashed by the knowledge that few guys are interested in the person she is and just the huge tits she was blessed with. It is also related in someway to my posting about good looking girls not bothering to develop humour or the ability to converse because they don't need to. Will this girl be the same?

I'm not saying the cheesy I would like to get to know her mind but I would almost have been fascinated to talk to her for ten minutes, hear her voice and see if my thoughts on her personality were true. In a way I envy her for the amazing sexual pulling power that she must have every night which allows her to virtually pick and choose who she wants to spend an evening with. But I also feel sorry for her of the quality of men that she is likely to come across and for that moment when the attention becomes unwanted and the realisation hits that she is more than just a girl with a huge pair and a very low cut top and wants to be recognized as such.

We moved on to another pub and I got served at the bar by this impossibly cute barmaid. Now this was someone in a completely different league. She had a cracking little figure, long brown hair, a lovely face and maybe due to being in the first days as a barmaid was surprisingly polite and cheerful. To boot she had a great smile and nice eyes. She must have been in her first weekend working as she was getting a little confused with the till. Her male co-workers seemed to enjoy working with her and blocking or obstructing her at times to force a form of playful bodily contact. It's understandable I guess as she had a body worth touching and she seemed to enjoy playing along. I've always wanted to work in a bar and maybe this kind of interactive tomfoolery is what I've been missing out on. Decided that I should give her one of my cards, which means she would be the first to receive them. I realised that the timing wouldn't be ideal in a crowded bar but I thought she was special and the kind of girl that I'd created the cards for. Besides there was no way I could chat her up so a card was the only way of thinking there could be any further contact. I paid for the drinks and handed her the card. I had wanted it to be right but in a busy bar who was I kidding. She took it not really understanding what it was and appeared to simply tuck it under the till. I headed over to the crew, frustrated a little maybe that she'd misinterpreted what I'd meant by it. Maybe I also began to realise how silly it was what I was doing. I mean giving someone a card of your website, how incredibly arrogant is that. Well I guess it is but no different from giving someone your number but at least this way they can make a bit more of an informed decision. I must explain at this point what the cards are like. They are quite subtle in my book and were designed by a good friend.  Quality card with the website address printed in grey in the middle. No telephone numbers or supplementary information, just the web address. Hopefully they arouse some curiosity factor if nothing else. If anyone has seen American Psycho and the business card section in it then you'll have a better idea of what I was aiming for.

My round came again and I returned to the bar just as she became free. She gave me a nice smile and I gave my order. I checked with her that she had the card which she sais yes and then asked what it was. I said a surprise and that it was purely innocent. She looked concerned and I tried to reassure her, christ would they all be this difficult? She asked again what it was and I realised how foolish and disappointed she might look if I said "yeah, its the address of my website". I can imagine most, if not all of the responses will be yeah and..........? I finished by saying that it was meant as a compliment and nothing more.

I'm sure she won't check it and if she does will either be horrified at my geekness or contact the police to issure a restraining order. At the end of the day there's no pont in having the cards if I'm not going to hand them out and if only 1 in 10 girls takes the time to look at the site and 1 in a 100 actually read it then I need to be handing them out more. She was a lovely girl though and her face did linger for the remainder of the weekend.

Hit the cinema to see Mission Impossible III and I got to say that I was impressed. I wasn't blown away by the first one and thought the second plain ridiculous. But I like Tom Cruise and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Well this was action packed right from the get go. It still had some fantastical stuff but this time tempered it with logic and explanation of how and why it was achieved. Show the audience what you are doing and they will buy into it so much more and I certainly did. There were other realistic touches that you wouldn't expect like running out of ammo and easy ways of blocking comms channels. It was also good that Ethan appeared a lot more dangerous. He had the Matt Damon - Bourne Identity about him and you really felt that he was capable of taking apart most people in a fight, which he frequently did. The fights and set pieces were all enjoyable, crunching and wildly exciting. It also featured a deliciously beautiful Gallardo in orange. Man my dreams have been answered. As readers of my motoring section will know if I won the lottery I'd have to buy a Gallardo but don't know what colour to get. Now I do. It's still bright and eye catching, it's bold, it doesn't hide the lines and it isn't yellow. Good film and worth the entrance fee without a doubt. Maybe this summer film season can deliver, fingers crossed.

Nice to see Dani Pedrosa win his first MotoGP on Sunday and it continues to make the championship the most interesting since I started watching them. Had a top chicken roast for tea. Man I love bird flu if it means a medium chicken feeding 2-3 cost £3.39 yet a large feeding 4-5 cost only 50p more. Always worth upgrading as you can never have too much chicken! Watched Bad Boys II again on sunday night, what a great, entertaining film that is. The perfect film for Michael Bay's style of flashy, more sizzle, long lingering slo mo shots style of film making. Agreed that it's hardly high brow stuff but with it's collection of wisecracks, fast cars, explosions, guns, hot birds and copy buddy chemistry is there a better blokes film? Talk soon.

 

Local election and sleepbank deposit - 09/05/2006

Back to the office with a spring in my step. It's great to have a long weekend but it does throw out my natural order.  For a start I didn't go swimming on Monday which formed a rather pathetic excuse for not going to the gym the remainder of the week.

Tuesday was Lost night as the second series was starting on Channel 4. I was trying not to get excited but sometimes elevating something you mildly enjoy into event is not a bad thing, especially if it's a normal weekday evening. I watched the final episode with my brother and girlfriend last year and we gathered around the tv again, belly full of pizza and a glass of coke in hand. It delivered as far as I was concerned. It gave answers, it was satisfying and even though it created other questions I didn't feel robbed or cheated. Some of the mid season episodes last year (and the same may happen this year) seemed to offer little and although I tried to take on board what I was being shown I would find myself watching the clock and realising that I wasn't going to get anything substantial in that episode. Don't get me wrong I enjoy being captivated and looking forward to things but watching those episodes I got frustration rather than satisfaction.

One thing that was quite cool, and was probably repeated in the US, was during the advert breaks there were a couple of strange adverts that showed stuff about making the world a better place and had images of DNA, Jesus etc. Initially I wondered whether it was some kind of teaser campaign for the The Da Vinci Code which is due to open soon at the cinemas. Lo and behold in the third episode they introduced the Honso foundation and the next advert break the advertisement was repeated. It was for the honso foundation and even gave a telephone number which I called to hear a Honso Foundation recorded message. That to me is pretty cool and I was impressed with that clever stunt. Anyway I was pleased with the viewing experience and enjoyed what I watched. Ok it's no Angel but when there isn't a great deal on TV to get excited about having something is good.

Wednesday was busy at work, especially as I was off the following day. I hit Sainsburys at about 11.15pm that night to pick up some provisions for the next day. Along with my brother I was working with an old work colleague as a polling clerk in the local elections. The previous year she had gotten my brother and I jobs working as vote counters which was different and paid (which is always good). This year we stepped up to work in a polling office all day with her. Even though it was going to be an early start I still felt really good wandering around the shops. I might have been having to get up at 4.30am but it was still a holiday and I was going to enjoy the slow meander round the deserted shop and amble back to the car. I headed home, naturally feeling good after any form of food purchase. I think there's something about my purchase glow when buying food. It just gives you this feeling that 'hell the shops could burn down for a few days and I'd be alright jack'. Got in, made rolls and prepared provisions. I didn't hit the sack until 2.30am and was up two hours later. It was amazing to be up so early, it be so light and the roads be so empty. Naturally I was over cautious of the traffic and arrived at the church hall in Tunbridge Wells at 6.00am. We had thought of stopping to grab some nosebag, but naturally everywhere was shut. Our friend arrived soon after and we set up the church hall which was excellent. It was less than a year old, with plenty of windows, a large kitchen (which we were allowed to use) which had a big fridge and constant, boiling water for the manufacture of tea! We opened the doors at 7.00am and remained open until 10.00 pm. It was a long day but we amused ourselves, we chatted, we munched, bro and I played some scrunched up paper tennis and later used the circular plastic lid of a tub of mini viscounts to play frisbie (nice work bro). It was a lovely sunny day so at least we had a very British way of breaking the conversational ice with people coming in.

I had a brief moment of excitement when I saw a car pull up outside of someone who been involved in a non serious car accident. She wasn't hurt but the car was dented at the front. She was blonde and looked quite cute. She seemed in control and was on the phone to people. After pestering from my friend I went to investigate and offer help but managed to return to the office with her mother to get two cups of water as she was on the mobile to the AA. What a casanova! She did come in to sit down with her mum while they waited for the AA guy to arrive but in typical girl fashion managed to mention her boyfriend in like the first sentence she uttered to me. Yeah ok, I get it, you've got a man. It wasn't like I was leering or being over friendly but I guess some girls have to establish the boundaries asap. Our friends partner brought in fish'n'chips at around 6.00ish which was mucho yummy and powered us through to 10.00. Packed up and then off to the town hall for a couple of hours of counting. Although there was a good smattering of honeys in the counting hall and three particular foxes in our 8 man section naturally we were plonked next to the three largest, most un-inspiring females. Ok I was hardly going to seduce the three foxes but someone could have cut us a little slack and sat us next to them. Who knows at least we could have offered them some red bull and received a pleasant smile for our efforts. Easy come, easy go eh! Drove home and must have eventually hit the sack around 1.30ish.

It had been a long day and I had prudently booked the following day off work but we were busy and short staffed so I headed in. I didn't mind, I wasn't grumpy. I love my job and the people I work with and for and if having this job means having to go in, then it's a small price to pay. They did make up for it though with the offer of 'hot lunch' and you know how much I love that. We went for Pizza and I gorged myself on a thin crust meat feast with mushroon. Oh christ it was good. Juicy, succulent, a little messy and very filling. I wasn't tired come the evening and worked a little on my site before eventually heading home to miss the friday night commute. I had nothing planned for Saturday and decided (actually decided on Thursday morning) that I was going to have a shameless, self indulgent monster session sleeping/dozing/snoozing in bed that day. I did, and am a little guilty in admitting that it was until 5.00pm! Fuck it, I needed it and maybe I could have used the time more productively by learning a new language or doing something about world poverty but I wanted to take it easy.

Treated myself to some more excellent fish'n'chips, hell I'd already acted like a slob so why not continue the descent into hell, and a couple of DVD's. Watched the Lord of War with Nic Cage which was ok. A lot like Blow with Johnny Depp, but not quite as good. Also watched on TV American Werewolf in London, what a great film that still is. Funny, entertaining, sexy and scary. The bit where they realise they have walked off the path and the werewolf starts howling is still a tad unnerving.

Half watched a lack lustre F1 on Sunday and then a frankly woeful Brothers Grimm on DVD. I don't know why I gave Terry Gilliam another chance, his films are just out there and usually populated by either atrocious or annoying over acting. Considering it was about French people in occupied Germany (or whatever) the accents were just all over the place. Piss poor. Top Gear made a welcome return that evening and as usual was a lot more entertaining. This was followed by Tears of the Sun, which I think is under-rated. It's a good film with some great action scenes although some of the bits with the african people are a little ham fisted but I guess the subject forced the studios to act like this.

After such a sloth like weekend I hit the pool with renewed vigour on Monday. The amount of girls in their was impressive but in turn depressing. Summer is coming and they are all getting in shape. It acts as motivation I suppose though I do get angry at myself for admitting that their presence bothers me. Well not bother me, but it makes me doubt my appeal to them and remind me that I won't get close to any of them. The frustration does create energy which allows me to swim harder so I guess there is a positive in there! Went to the supermarket afterwards with a commitment to buying only small meals and a lot more vegetables. I'm going to ensure that I head to the gym on Wednesday and again on Saturday. Naturally I've got to ensure I'm tuned into Trance fm for A state of Trance on Thursday as I missed the last one doing the election. Saying that the CD that I ordered turned up and it is brilliant. 82 tracks mixed over two hours (two discs) ensuring that it moves forward apace without getting bogged down in songs. Really, really good and it will be getting much play in the car. I must look at ordering his new album as well.

Oh and finally this week is E3 in Los Angeles. As some may know this is the yearly computer gaming exhibition and this year there are rumours of a trailer of Halo 3. No need to say that I am pissing my pants about this so fingers crossed that it delivers. Adios compadres. 

 

4.00am cooked breakfast - 03/05/2006

Not a huge amount of excitement to discuss I'm afraid. Normal stuff during the week. Thursday night was good though. I've got this new computer that came with these desk top tweeters and a box sub woofer that really do chuck it out. I get excited about the smallest things and those boys really do pump it out, due as well maybe to the acoustics of the office and few things make dance music sound better than having it loud.

Anyway stayed late on Thursday night and was listening to Trance FM on the iTunes radio and started to listen to 'A state of trance' which is a weekly two hour long mix of trance mixed and hosted by a dutch DJ called Armin van Buuren. Man, the tunes he was dropping were awesome. Melodic, tuneful tracks with a thumping trance beat which sounded fantastic through the sound rig. I love music as I'm sure you know by now and every tune that he dropped made my smile grow ever wider. I started to hunt around the web for info on him before finding his website. I registered and then found myself discussing the show with other listeners as it was playing. Madness, the internet age is a wonderful time. I was so impressed that that even while it was playing I tracked down some CD's that he'd done and bought one online.

I should know about these DJ's but I found that the superstar DJ's of the late 90's (fatboy slim, pete tong etc) never impressed me. They always seemed to play non commital, banal house that never fired me up and because of this I began to assume that if new DJ's were popular and big time they would be the same. How wrong was I. Tiesto impressed me last year and Armin has really fired me up. He's a guy that seems to know his shit both in choice of other tunes to play and also the creation of his own.

What better advertisement for the internet than the wonder of hearing some great mixing and tunes, doing some investigating, chatting to others in the know and making a purchase while you are still listening to the mix. It's times like this where I wish I was younger so I could embrace the opportunities that the internet age really opens up. I only say this because I'm a little bit older than most that listen to this kind of music and thus I think probably unnerve others when I can't control my excitement. I think 34 year olds are meant to be more restrained and reserved.

Friday was a work colleagues birthday and thus we normally always get some kind of junk food for lunch. I'm a simple man and again due to my elevation of the most mundane things bounded out of bed with the concept of a 'hot lunch' to look forward to. The birthday boy made his choice, McDonalds (nice) and then threw down the gauntlet of wanting two double quarterpounders. I wasn't going to let him attempt that challenge alone. Unfortunately we got caught in traffic coming back so by the time we sat down the burgers had been in the box for probably longer than they should have. Never mind, I tucked into them with joy. I found my cheeks begin to turn rosy coloured and my belly quickly fill. Halfway through the second one and I could feel the 'wall' approaching but a quick change of tack with a handily placed chicken nugget helped steer me through to a satisfying close. I felt stuffed and sated and had to resort to a mid afternoon red bull to prevent a slide into 'full belly fatigue'.

Headed out on saturday night to Infernos again. Went with an old friend and it was nice to have three of us heading out. I did my best to get drunk and went for it a bit in the early part but a lack of female interaction curbed my enthusiasm. We chatted to a couple of girls but it was just in passing and none really caught my eye (as I'm sure I didn't for them) and hence there were no card receivers. Strange isn't it. I only produced sixteen of these and thought they would be flying out but proving the theory of when you look you don't find I can't seem to see anyone worthy of receiving them.

Granted this might sound arrogant and shallow but it isn't meant to be. Normally on nights out I will see at least one girl that I think is quite cute. I ain't that good at chatting up so rather than walking by and thinking she was nice or paying a one off compliment this way I can give them something that might be a little different. If they choose to read my site before tearing up the card and something makes them smile then great. If they don't then no harm done but at least it leaves the chance that they might contact.  As I said to someone recently, sometimes the possibility of 'maybe' is better than the reality of 'never'. It's yet to work though.

By the end of the night I was drunk but not uncontrollably so. Got in at about 4.00am ish and was mucho hungry. Why wait for breakfast I thought, if I have it now it might soak up the alcohol and lessen the chance of a hangover. Being drunk can lead to overconfidence and a blurring of what is sensible but as I was alone and no concern of waking anyone created myself a plate of sausages, fried eggs, mushrooms, baked beans, toast and a glass of milk. Needless to say I ate well, slept better and felt great the next day or later in the day. What a date I'd make eh. Take a girl out, act chivalrously, be the type to dance and have fun rather than remain moodily motionless, take her home, cook her a slap up breakfast and then love her in the bedroom like she's never been loved!! I should just draw a line.

A little sunday morning lay in and then watched a cracking MotoGP. As I've said before Valentino Rossi is no doubt very talented but this talent can make the races very pedestrian but in this he was back in 8th or 9th while the leaders where literally duking it out like I've not seen in a long time.  New boys Casey Stoner and Dani Pedrosa where riding superbly and both look like bringing such a breath of fresh air to the season. Normally the excitement on these races peters out near the end as everyone settles for their positions but in this race they were battling to the very end. Sensational stuff and I can't wait for the next one which is in China.

Headed to a local bar in the evening where I wore the Geek t-shirt. Only two comments really. One from a girl who was surrounded by a sea of men and one from another guy who thought it amusing. It was an okay night but as I was driving it wasn't a mad, drunken, dancing night (not that I need to drink to dance). Due to the red bulls I'd drunk and not having eaten since the full english the morning before I developed some hunger shakes half way through the night. Dropped some people off and some tortilla crisps with a sour cream dip helped push the pangs away. Monday was an even lazier day. I know I sound dreadful but it saves cash, recharges the batteries and does allow me to do some housework. The coming week at work could be busy with a long day planned for Thursday with the election etc. Hang tough.

 

Boneless box deluxe - 25/04/2006

As I feared this last week was a little quiet. After the high jinks of the previous week it was hardly surprising really. Work was quietish, evenings were late doing bits and bobs on the net and I didn't make any time for the gym. It was a short week though what with the Easter holiday Monday.

Friday had a spike though as due to a work colleague's birthday we attempted the new KFC boneless box deluxe. Eight pieces of chicken, two boxes of popcorn chicken, four portions of chips, two large sides and a bottle of Pepsi. I'm probably creating the idea that I'm some junk food eating, bloated monster. I'm not but I'm a simple man who isn't a food facist and believes there is always a time and place for chicken. The time was lunch, the place was work.  We got two between four of us, we gorged on fried chicken, chips and soft drink and it was a guilty pleasure. I still prefer McDonalds though so the Big M will still be in business, apart from of course if I'm in the USA and close to an In'n'Out burger.

Seemed to achieve very little on Saturday and with my sleeping patterns seeming to be at best shot to shit and at worst non existent I grabbed some Z's in the afternoon with a litte nap (is the first sign of getting old?) before heading out to see Scary Movie 4. I hadn't expected much but thought if I got just one good laugh like I have in the others, the gammy armed Hanson character in the second film is just hilarious "watch my fanny", then I would be happy.  I got some sniggers but where as some of the others poked fun at other films this seemed to just blatantly copy the films. At some points I wondered if I was watching a complete remake or a comedy. Disappointing.

Sunday I watched Crash (the 2004 film). It was good and the interweaving stories all worked well with some good acting and script work but I felt it peaked in the middle and then kind of petered out. The bits where Matt Dillon rescued Thandie Newton, the black prevented his car being jacked and then lost it with the police officers and the crescendo with the hispanic locksmith and his daughter, which almost brought me to tears. Maybe this was too much of a high though because the ending with the telegraphed reformed gangsta felt a little forced. A very good film nonetheless and I'm glad I saw it. Followed this with my legendary Spaghetti Bolognaise which still delivers and then a visit to the DVD archive for a showing of Aliens.

I do like this film and there is a lot of really classy stuff. The space marines, the numerous quotes (most of them from Hudson), the sentry guns, the outstanding death scene of Vasquez and Gorman and the whole powerloader/queen alien scrap. The trouble is I never really liked Ripley's character. I know she had to be tough and couldn't be all frilly but I always felt her a little too arrogant and the character of Newt grated one's nerves a couple of times. Kids in action films don't always go and even directors like James Cameron can drop the ball and let them descend into annoying brats (see True Lies, sweet jesus, couldn't she have just fallen off the crane). Stayed up late on Sunday night to watch some World Superbikes and even despite hitting the sack at 3.00am with a work day to follow couldn't get to sleep. The most restful patch I got was the five minute snooze when the alarm went off!

Another bank holiday weekend approaching so fingers crossed that there will be a slightly more interesting posting for you guys to read next week.

 

The pursuit of Easter weekend fun - 18/04/2006

Please excuse my delay in posting.   For those observant ones the entry below was a little late but a burglary at the office meant all of our computers were removed and my access to the web limited. Needless to say dealing with this meant a good few days of sorting stuff out and general busy-ness. Still went swimming though, which was thankfully a little quieter due to the school holidays. No girl in the black swimsuit again but I did bump into an old friend and headed back to his for a glass of coke and a chat.

He is a teacher now and a very good school friend, he was the mate who told me how to masturbate way back when I was a teenager and if for nothing else holds a special place for that! His wife is great as well (she's been pestering me for a mention on my site so here it is Jen) and they've just had their second child. We chewed the fat which we are always good at doing and he expresssed concerns over the revealing nature of my website. I put my point across which I think he kind of acknowledged but I understand and respect his opinion.

It was a short week and what with the changes at the office and gym on Wednesday it didn't seem long before it was Thursday night and the start of a four day holiday. Ideas were discussed and nights planned out to ensure full enjoyment of the time off.

Surprisingly I couldn't sleep on Thursday night. It seems to be a regular occurence and one I'm finding hard to fathom. I don't feel overly stressed and when I eventually hit the sack at around 1.00 ish I'm tired yet come 3.00 am and I'm still awake. I console myself that at least if I ever get someone in the sack I'll be able to keep them entertained all night long but I'm sure on that night I'll want to sleep like a baby. A change of bed linen made no difference, as did sleeping at the other end and I ended up having a toasted cheese sandwich and a glass of milk at 4.00 am while I watched an episode of Quantum Leap.

Friday was pretty lazy. A lie in, a little housework, tea, toast and completed Black on the xbox with was long, enjoyable and an orgy of gunfire and mindless destruction. Picked up my friend later on and headed to a bar called the Lounge for a few drinks before the main event. It was pretensious as it had been before and full of £1,000 a day plumbers in their best ripped jeans, open necked white shirts, jackets, brown shoes and gelled hair. The girls were more pleasing to the eye and though in manageable huddles were far too self important to talk to anyone other than their own clan and flirt with the bouncers who seemed to consider themselves even more important than the superstar barmen. We left around 10.00 navigating our way through the hordes of Range Rovers, BMW's and Porsche Cayanne's to my trusty steed.

After a recommendation from a girl we'd met a few months previously we decided to hit a place called Delano's. Many had told me it was a shithole yet no one it seemed had actually been inside it. Whilst queing we began to have our doubts. When I'd phoned the previous night the woman had been specific about the dress code yet it seemed to be being infringed by almost everyone in the queue, which I might add was almost entirely made up of drunken males.

There was a notification of the dress code on the wall which curiously stated that "Anyone wearing Timberland boots must wear a shirt with collar" - how strange. We paid our dues, having to become members in the process which would allow free entry in future if we ever got there before 10.30. We headed downstairs to find a grade A shit hole. One big room with a dance floor at one end, raised worn and faded sofas to two walls, a rectangular bar towards the rear which although having one of those running water walls inset into the middle was the kind of bar with a three shelved fridge but which the staff only felt was worth filling the top shelf with drink. The drink in question being the chic diamond white and their low grade version of red bull being something called Shark. I saw some people drinking cheap champagne and a couple of guys wandering around necking wine straight from the screw top bottle. There was a special VIP room but access was restricted to the normal plebs not by a guarding bouncer or braided rope but simply a black plastic dustbin - class!

There was the occasional pretty girl and a lot of hood rats but all the guys were younger and had this nervous, twitchy air about them that felt like it could kick off into a fight at any moment. They either seemed to be the shaven headed type or ones that modelled themselves on Jamie Oliver. At point a Pamela Anderson wannabe was ordering some drinks from the bar when a guy lay on his back, right on the floor with his face between her feet so he could look up her skirt. As if not repellant enough that he would think that action ok or laughable was his willingness to lay down on one of the scummyest floors I've ever seen. I'm no snob (ok maybe) but I'm sometimes disgusted by just letting the soles of my shoes touch the floor of a nightclub let alone lying on it.

I think we were noticed and probably for the wrong reasons but if we'd been younger, rougher, drunk and knew more people we might have had some fun but as this wasn't the case we left after about an hour or so. I guess you have to try new places, which we did and at least we now know what it is like though I don't think we will ever frequent it again. A disappointing night and not, I hoped, a foretaste of how the rest of the weekend might pan out.

Mid morning start on Saturday with a particularly long, arduous and sweaty session in the gym. On leaving the changing room I couldn't help but stop when I heard the most ridiculous song being played in the gym. Lady in Red by Chris de Burgh, well thats certainly a change from the collections of 90's pop house that they usually play to motivate the masses. Hair cut and then back home for a spot of home prepared carbonara. Yes I bought a Lloyd Grossman sauce but I did still chop the onions, bacon and mushrooms before adding to the tagliatelle and sauce. It was excellent, if a little tough to serve and the sprinkling of grated cheddar cheese naturally lifted it to a higher plane.

Getting ready to go out that night was made more fun as due to not having to drive I could have a drink or two during the preparations. Brother and I downed a couple of natty little shots that we had prepared which included aftershock, baileys, vodka and absinthe (85% proof no less). It was a great drink actually with the Baileys helping it to slip down and the Absinthe making it's presence known by causing the hairs on your arms to stand up and your eyes to mist up. We carried on getting ready with 100 greatest TV themes playing and enjoying everything from the A-team to Cagney & Lacey. I slipped on my Geek t-shirt which I hoped would generate interest and grabbed my business card holder as I hoped to see some potential receivers in Infernos. The cab ran us to Clapham, collecting a friend en route and after grabbing an expensive drink in some bar we hit the club.

Like the High Street it was worringly devoid of life. We played some table football (the one with the fixed players on a pole that can spin round) between the three of us which wasted some time and generated some laughter. A drunken girl staggered up to us at one point. I tried to engage her in some conversation but she was a little too far gone. She was quite cute but after chatting a little more she simply wandered off. She attempted to head down the five simple steps that had led her up to where we were and just as my bro quietly muttered 'go on love, stack it' she tripped down the last few steps. Poor thing, I did feel for her but she was truly hammered. A few people went over to help and I did wonder where her friends were that they would just leave her on her own to fend for herself in such a pissed up state. She started chatting to two random guys and we headed upstairs.

The second level which is classly called 'The Discotheque' reeked of chunder, spilt milk and playschool plasticine which seemed to come and go in nauseous waves. One of the bar men did a great sales pitch by saying it would be busier the following night and when we grilled the roaming Sambuca girl she said the same. She was mighty fine but typically the best piece of arse we saw all night was one that we had to pay for. I think it was just the knowledge that by me drinking we didn't have the ability to move on if the night continued to disappoint. I hadn't been to Inferno's before when I was drinking and had been hoping for a messy evening. The ridiculously expensive   bar bills put paid to that notion as we must have had a £120 whip between the three of us yet hardly seemed to get drunk. The club did begin to fill up and soon we seemed to be surrounded by nothing but rugger twats and guys who seemed intent on storing their drinks on the table we were leaning on.

We decided to move downstairs for a little more room, taking station at a table closer to the dance floor. The music got better or the alcohol began to take effect, not sure which, and I felt my feet begin to move and my mood begin to lighten. I'd hoped that tonight might be a good night for girls or mad fun and I think once I'd resigned myself to the fact that neither were going to happen I began to attempt to obtain a different form of enjoyment - dancing. There were a couple of podiums on the stage that were infrequently occupied by people of differing dancing abilities. I told my crew that I felt a podium appearance would be made this evening if the right song came on. Call on me by Eric Prydz dropped and that was it.

I raced across the dancefloor, bounced up onto the stage and hopped into the podium. I went for it, as by now I'm sure you can imagine. It's a good song to dance to and I let rip with the requisite hip thrusting, head twirling, body rubbing, pretend pulling the towel through your legs, bar grabbing, arse shaking routine that was needed. The song finished and I left the podium. No slaps on the arse, no smiles from anyone though I had heard clapping whilst performing my little routine. Unfortunately I did most of it with my eyes closed which although making me look like a way too serious twat did prevent the risk of seeing a sea of angry or laughing faces which would have curbed my   number quicker than my pants falling down.

The three of us moved onto the dancefloor for the remaining hour and went for some high energy dancing to the likes of Thriller and Take on me. There was a very nice blonde who was close to us but she was draped all over this other guy. My friend got chatting to her mate and I although I kinda fancied her didn't attempt any eye contact because she was clearly into this other guy. I carried on dancing and the guy suddenly disappeared. I tried to ascertain what had happened from my chum and apparently the guy was gay and wasn't interested. What a waste.

A few guys seemed to suddenly close in on the blonde and rather than demean myself I continued to dance and laugh at their attempts to subtley, but not so subtley, get her attention. I even made a comment to her about their   leaden attempts which made her laugh but I didn't want to push it. Unfortunately the time of our cab was approaching and I gave some thought to giving her a card (by the way when I say this I don't expect giving them one is going to guarantee me anything. I don't expect it to open their hearts or for them to suddenly realise what a fantastic guy I am but I only have limited numbers and hence I want to ensure that at least as far as I am concerned they have gone to girls who I personally think had something very special). She had a nice face, nice hair, good body and a low cut top but the fact that I'd only seen her for about twenty five minutes and in that time she had been chasing someone else made me think it would have been impetuous. If we'd had more time to interact maybe but she disappeared to the toilet or the bar and we left to get our cab.

Bro and I must have got in at about a quarter to four with a serious attack of the munchies. Granted I'd had a few but I was still ok and thus thought fuck it and fired up the grill and the deep fat dryer. Fifteen minutes later and we sat down to a plate of chips, baked beans and some rashers of bacon (which had been under the buy one get one free from Sainsburys earlier). Washed down with a cold glass of milk left a pleasantly full belly and cheerfully banished any chance of a hangover the following morning or later in the day if you know what I mean. Needless to say I slept well.

Sunday was relaxed.   The normal chores of washing etc but a few cups of tea and the last two episodes of the third series of Quantum Leap were very enjoyable. In the last episode Sam received electro shock treatment at a mental institute which derailed his own personality and meant he dipped in and out of some of the other people that he had leapt into previously. It was a great episode and ended with him receiving another dose of electro shock treatment which caused him to leap but also connect with Al which meant that in a clever twist Al became physical and Sam became a hologram. It might not make much sense if you are not a geek/nerd/fan (denote as you see fit) but it made me look forward to getting the fourth series when it comes out.

Being Easter Sunday we headed over to my aunts for a family get together. They are normally held in the afternoon and I felt a bit bad as I'd made plans to head out with a friend on Sunday night to see if all the rumours about everyone being out on Sunday night instead of Saturday night were true. Thus I got to my Aunt's at 7 ish to tell her that I had to leave at 9.30. Strangely though giving myself a time limit compelled me to make a greater effort in chatting to my relatives and by the time I left I felt I'd talked to them more than I normally would have done.

Headed back to a local bar which, as some had predicted. was rammed. We had a few soft drinks as we had both driven there and with the downstairs part accepting no more people decided to call Inferno's bluff and see if it was busier. It wasn't. Strangely enough the management had closed the 'discotheque' upstairs though I hope this was as much for a damn good clean and fumigation as it was to maintain the numbers in the downstairs area. Not much was happening really. We did some people watching but the place wasn't catching fire. At one point my friend went to the toilet and returned with a beaming smile on his face. I asked what was up and he said well I ain't showing off but whilst taking a piss this guy had come in to pee next to him in the trough (he isn't pee shy like me you see) and then turned to say "I hope you don't mind me saying but a man with a knob that big could be a very confident man". My mate complemented the guy on having the confidence to wear a hat in the club which he was and told me that it wasn't a gay come on in any way. Dispels my theory about guys looking at others guys cocks when they are in the toilet doesn't it?

Tall, good looking, well off and now with an independantly recognised huge cock. Maybe my friend can throw some of his grade 10 scraps my way!

Monday was my last lie in before the return to work (not that this is something I dread) but I seemed to wake at half nine. I'd got in at about three ish yet felt that I'd had such a deep rewarding sleep that for a moment I was convinced I'd slept right through Monday and it was now in fact Tuesday and I was late for work. Watched Wedding Crashers in the afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed it.   Friends had said it was good but I'd missed it at the cinema and then had been reluctant to hire it out. It was great and I really identified with the two main characters. Granted they lied to get into the weddings but they weren't lazy sloths when in and did basically make the weddings by getting everyone going. Yes they may have told some fibs to the girls but they had made themselves the life and soul of the party and had put in the hours with the kids and old folks so I felt they kind of deserved the spoils. It also wasn't like they drugged the girls or anything, just basically wowed them into bed. I've never had this kind of success at weddings and haven't been to that many but a couple that I've been to and one particularly when I was an usher I think I made a huge impact, along with another friend, in getting everyone up and dancing and having a great time. The opening montage was excellent and really set the scene with a bevy of beautiful honeys including one called Diora Baird, who I confess I paused the film for to get a better look at, wow!

I know it was a rom com that followed a lot of cliches but I really bought into them and actually seemed to care about them all for a change including both girls who I also liked. It's funny but it showed that sometimes it takes lying (not that I would do this as I 'm a crap liar and think honesty is the best policy) to put yourself in totally unique and exciting positions. Let's face it unless you do something completely out of the ordinary how will you break the monotony of your normal surroundings and in turn meet people that you might not normally meet. A really enjoyable film but fear not it isn't going to make me start crashing weddings though maybe I'll try to look at them differently if I get to go to anymore. I know this sounds cheesy but I was really impressed by the line about what the definition of true love is. It's your souls recognition of it's counterpoint in another. I know in the film they tried to dismiss it with a joke about it being on a bumper sticker but I've got to say that for me it's one of the best definitions that I've ever heard and the one that I'd like to achieve.

Watched Star Trek II in the evening. I know this will open me up to more cries of geek but it's my favourite Star Trek film and so much better than the trash they started farming out from number V onwards. This has the legendary Kobiyashu Maru test and a genuine worthy adversary in the form of Khan. It also reminds me of the time when films had a real wonder to them. The score for it is the best ever (by James Horner) and it has the maturity to deal with the notion that a big victory has to come with a sacrifice and none bigger than Spock sacrificing his life for the good of the ship. Great drama and I love how when Kirk comes down and sees that his friend has died simply slumps to the floor, defeated as if the stuffing has been knocked out of him. For me this is how grief should be portayed. When you see a vibrant character that has almost bounced through the film reduced to a deflated, shell shocked state it has more impact and in turn more resonance with the audience. Well I liked it anyway.

Right oh that's been a bit of a monster session hasn't it. I see next weekend being very quiet with a watching of ones finances so you might want to give it a fortnight before checking back. Take care and in the words of Dave Allen may your god go with you.

 

 

A little female interaction - 10/04/2006

So what exciting things did I do during the last week I hear you cry. I didn't find love or enlightenment, just tried to muddle through as everyone else does I guess. Monday was swimming, goggles were tighter and the water less chlorinated so I know you'll be delighted to hear that my eyes weren't rendered sore and unsightly. Mid week went to Ikea, which as readers of my observations will note I always enjoy.   Meatballs and meandering dreams of homely bliss are always a nice way of breaking up the week.

I did see Elizabethtown at the beginning of the week. It was ok but Orlando Bloom doesn't, I think, have star power to hold the audience (well certainly not me) and I didn't warm to Kirsten Dunst. Two highlights though were a. the scene where the two leads had this mammoth talking session on their mobile phones. I liked that because I've always liked the idea of when you make a real connection with someone not wanting it to stop. A lot of women (not all) that I've encountered since my late 20's are always seeming to want to put things off to another day. There is never any spontaneity, never running with the energy, living for today or preparing to break your routine for something a little special. They always have to be so pre-ordained, so "let's talk another day, I'm tired" or "I want to get an early night". I really love that live for the now, go getting attitude and get frustrated when I encounter it's safe, boring counterpart. Anyway this was one part that I liked and the other was a great rendition of Free Bird played at the wake of Orlando's dads funeral. Always good to hear that wicked song.

A friend in the office got me a couple of t-shirts printed, both in black. One of them had my website on the back and the other, borrowing the idea and tagline from Film Geek, had the word "Geek" printed on the front and "My Knowledge. Your Misery" printed on the back. Some might think it stupid but I think it's class and may make someone laugh.

Gym on Thursday and went out on Friday after work. I was driving but the venue was good and there were a lot of honey's in there. The tingle of an oncoming spot had my self confidence lower than normal though nothing seemed to materialise. They had a DJ in there and around 9.30-10.00 ish he began to drop some quality 70's -80's cheese and I felt my feet begin to tap. Footloose came on and that was it, the touch paper was lit and I was off. With one of my mates, who used to be a great dancing partner, we hit the small dance floor and gave it all we had, and I confess it was fairly spectacular. Other people were clapping along and we got down to the music. I really love a good dance and even if sober strive to get everyone else going whether friends or complete strangers. Though this is normally in the form of clapping and returning smiles to their points and stares. I would never force anyone to dance as some people do, I just prefer to encourage. You can't beat a good boogie can you and once I've gone through the first dance and it's accompanying self conscious paranoia I might aswell be drunk because I really don't care.

Grabbing my crotch, belting out the words, rubbing up against walls, anything to enjoy myself or make those around laugh or join in. I had one guy who seemed to be with another couple 'bigging me up' with cheers and claps. It was nice that he was having a good time but I'm aware that without a female attached to my shoulder I probably do look a little gay with my high camp antics! Back to a friends afterwards for a tea and a glass of champagne for the others before returning home in the early hours.

To be honest I couldn't be arsed to do a great deal on Saturday and when I realised that the MotoGP was on (as opposed to Sunday) a cup of tea and a relax on the sofa was in order. Some xbox followed and then headed out to catch a film and something to eat. Saw the Inside Man which was ok and although clever didn't seem to be as satisfying as I'd hoped it might be. A chinese followed and then down to a local bar. I wished I'd worn my Geek t-shirt but thought I might not have got in without a collar. I needn't have worried but there is always next time. I spied this one girl whilst we were having a drink and amazingly about fifteen minutes later she came over with a friend to have a chat, though I'm sure this was down to my accompanying friend who is tall and good looking.

She had a great slim figure, an attractive face and just a wonderful set of emotive eyes. It's been a long time since I chatted to a girl in a nightclub and it took me a bit of time to find my stride. I think she was quite drunk and when talking to me or my mate would have her arm round our necks and be pressed up close. I know it was probably   just her way and that her personal body space boundaries were shot to shit due to being drunk but I can't deny that it didn't feel great. The music wasn't excessively loud but she felt the need to get her mouth right into my ear when she talked to me and I could feel her slim little body leaning into mine. It was nice to feel the presence of a girl so close and once or twice I'd put my arm round her waist to steady her and that also felt pretty good. As I said she was doing the same to my friend so I was trying not to delude myself that she was in anyway attracted to me.

She was an estate agent which I used to be and I did feel a connection because of this but I could tell she was certainly more of the 'salesy' type that I never was and far more concerned with her performance and exceeding targets etc. She was intriguing, fascinating and very pretty and because of all this highly unlikely to be single. I chatted to her friend when she was talking to my mate and we bought them a few drinks. They headed off downstairs to do some dancing and I thought that was the last we would see of them. She was very flirtatious and I gathered it wouldn't be long before the blokes descended on her like hungry wolves.

We decided to get one more drink and they surprisingly returned. I thought I would become a little more cheeky with her, which was fun and we engaged in a little banter. Closing time came, they were getting a cab and after the bouncer who asked us to move along had tried to hit on her, she waved and then went. We didn't hang around either and my mate dropped me home. It made a nice change for once to spend the evening chatting to a couple of girls and I confess that my mind strayed to her a number of times as I attempted unsuccessfully to get some sleep, due in no small part to the three or four cans of red bull that I'd consumed. I didn't give her a card although I did have them with me. I think she was a little out of my league, probably high maintenance and too tipsy to even remember me.

With no F1, no Motogp and no Planet Earth the Sunday was looking a little bleak so a quick scoot to the shops for the ingredients of a fine roast chicken dinner and a couple of DVD's were required. Brother and I watched Friday Night Lights which I think is a really good American football film. Although not quite as good as my favourite, Remember the Titans, it was good to see it again. The film makes more of an effort to show how the fortunes of a college football team can affect the small hick town (in this case Odessa, Texas) and the resulting pressures on the team and coach to perform well. I never performed particularly well in sports at school but watching these college football films makes you wonder how big a 'face' you could be if you were a player, or even a key player, in the college football team. They do all take it really seriously and as well as contemplating the obvious benefits of your college life in being a player, you wonder how hard it must be to get noticed if you don't play. Either way it's a very good film, with some standout performances and an excellent guitar based accompanying score.

We also watched Doom, which I saw at the pictures, and is a lot better than you would expect it to be. Granted it ain't no shakespeare but I do like the Rock and the way the story dealt with the creation of mutants and supermen through the missing genome was quite clever. The first person piece which lasted about five minutes and obviously was a nod to the film was very well done.

 

 

Film geek and oysters - 04/04/2006

Decided to give the swimming a miss last week. I felt a bit bad but the amount of chlorine they had put in the previous week to maybe counter the amount of piss in the pool as well as making the water cloudy (I initially thought it was the goggles) rendered my eyes bloodshot like a vampire. They were sore all week so thought it wise not to hammer them again. It did mean I didn't get to see the girl in the black swimsuit which was a shame. I made up for it though with trips to the gym on both Tuesday and Thursday so hopefully redressed the balance.

Popped round to my hairdresser friends on Wednesday. Had another cracking meal, christ she can cook and right now I wish I'd eaten more though I did wolf down two loaded jackets skins and two large servings of yummy lasagne. Trifle to follow along with tales of Vegas and Florida. The former I've been to as you know but the latter I haven't and have always dreamed about going to since I was about 14. I like my thrill rides and enjoy reading up about Orlando, so really enjoy hearing peoples exploits. After this we retired to the living room and fired up the X360. We loaded up Ghost Recon and plugged into Xbox live. I'd been looking forward to seeing this and it didn't disappoint. The graphics and sound were all top notch but it was the concept of playing against others over the internet which was truly amazing. Being able to speak to gamers from around the world in real time as I attempted to join them in killing the enemy was a surreal experience.

When I took the controls my heart was pumping like a train and I had a little of the nervy shakes due to being a scared of looking a prat in front of all these other people. My kills seemed to taste all the more delicious knowing that they were controlled by an actual person rather than scripted AI. Apart from the delays in waiting for others to join the game it was dangerously addictive and I could see that if I was to invest in one along with a broadband connection I could lose evenings and weekends with alarming regularity. I think it's just amazing that you could be playing with so many different individuals from so many different corners of the globe who are all in such different time zones. Man, just thinking about it could take hours let alone actually playing the machine. Maybe I'll buy one, take a week off work, invest in some extra thick underpants, seven 2 litre bottles of coke, three bags of frozen chips and a packet of grated cheddar cheese. Now that's a holiday that dreams are made of!

We'd seen in the office a trailer for   a movie called Film Geek. It's only a small independant film but the trailer was hilarious and reminded many in the office of me. The guy in question is an obsessive compulsive who loves films, lusts after girls but never gets anywhere and has his own website (can't see the connection myself). The tagline is 'His knowledge is your misery' which is brilliantly clever and original and was so liked by my colleagues that they had printed a black t-shirt which says 'Geek' on the front and 'My knowledge. Your misery' on the back for me. Great, hope the creators won't be mad but imitation is the highest form of flattery. Anyway we were so impressed that I thought I'd write to the director as he has a contact button on the website. I told him that that we were looking forward to his film and just offer him some support. He amazingly responded the next day thanking me for my "infectiously giddy email that meant a lot". Check out the trailer on Apple.com/trailers if you get a chance.

Had my first Oyster on Friday and I was a little unnerved. My boss had bought in a selection of sea food as punishment for the burps that I do in the office to wind her up. Oyster, Octopus, Cod Roe paste and Cockles. Everyone told me I had to simply swallow the oyster and not chew it. It looked disgusting, like some mucusy membrane of over-chewed gelationous snot. I had a couple of put to my mouths and then pull away but in the end I just threw it down. Naturally I couldn't swallow it as it was too big but after nearly gagging decided to chew and swallow normally. Because everyone had said don't chew, just swallow I assumed that biting into it might puncture some kind of oily sack. Thankfully it didn't but it still didn't stop it tasting like the smell of the sea. The octopus was chewy but bearable, the cod roe a non descript paste and the winkles unpleasantly tough and chewy like a walrus's toe nail clippings. It was fun to try something new but none of them will be consumed again.

Watched the Haunting of Emily Rose which was ok. I don't normally like these possession kind of films as my mind finds it hard to get round something else being inside a person but the mix of horror, well more suspense, and courtroom drama worked well. Not brilliant but I didn't regret seeing it and didn't consider it a waste of two hours.

Spring is certainly here and I confess to feeling really good when I jumped in the car to go to the gym on Saturday and felt the warmth of the sun in the car. Shades on, arm on the window and it felt good making me look forward to the barmy warmth of an English summer.

Out on saturday night at a pretensious venue for a friend of a friends birthday. It was full of a large selection of either jacketed arses in loafers or vain, over made up girls. I'd never seen so much bronzer in one place. Although I did a chunk of people/totty watching from afar when at the bar I didn't want to look any girl in the eye. Mainly for not wanting to see the look of contempt in their eyes or them to assume that my looking was adding to their already swollen ego. Needless to say that there were no recipients of my card.

I'm quite a chatty person but I seemed to develop a case of stage fright and was reluctant to engage in any serious banter with the others who were there for the birthday. I don't know why but I feared I'd end up talking about trivial, pointless shit with people who didn't really want to speak to me, who would be looking for someone better to talk to and on topics that were instantly forgettable. Thankfully though after throwing myself in, I got chatting to someone about films, books and Vegas. We moved onto someone's house afterwards where I had a nice chat with the host about her worldwide travel adventures and the Planet Earth programme on BBC1 which really is stunning and has been a genuine television highlight after the last few weeks.

Finished the night with a double cheeseburger with egg and a cup of tea from the tea hut on Blackheath Common.   Always a great way to finish an evening. Freshly cooked, hot, juicy burger served with a smile by the friendly staff that work there and the first mouthful of tea after the burger is pure bliss. Relaxing with the tea with a contented belly and some music playing is condusive to some enjoyable late night reflective rambles with your friend/s.

Watched Lost in Translation on Sunday. I'd thought about seeing it for some time. Um, I was a little disappointed. I liked   that it gave hope to an old bastard like me seeing someone much younger being attracted to an older person and also the concept of two lonely people meeting up. I didn't though warm to Scarlet's character. She seemed to just flit around in her knickers, was a little acidic in her early interaction with Bill and was a little mean spirited towards the american female actress. The concept of Bill Murrays loveless marriage was well handled but I felt that long sequences showing Tokyo were inserted to pad out the script and there wasn't a great deal of consistency. The two main characters spent two nights together yet come the third seemed to make no effort to contact each other. In reality surely they would have seen each other again or at least been thinking of each other but I felt they put in Bill Murray sleeping with the hotel singer to elicit a feeling of disappointment from the audience towards his character in that he'd acted like a typical man. He had displayed a chivalrous attitude towards Scarlet so his sleeping with the singer seemed contrived and out of place.

The Formula One race in Melbourne was incident filled with the safety car called out on four occasions and exciting to watch. Finished the weekend with another film (I'm no geek!), K-19 Widowmaker which was better than I'd expected and presented a good tale of heroism from the interesting viewpoint of being about about a russian submarine.

So there you go, I received some nice emails from people this week telling me that they liked my site which is always great to read and naturally to whom I replied with thanks.

 

 

Trying to wee in a nightclub - 27/03/2006

I started this week with three separate social dates yet ended it with all of them, for one reason or another, having been blown out. Ok, they were hardly black tie functions and involved simply meeting friends and old work colleagues but at the beginning of the week I felt buoyed by my active social life yet by the end was depressed by my lack ot it!

My black ipod nano arrived mid week and I got to experience the pleasures of being introduced to the Apple world.   It is a pretty wicked piece of kit. I've started to build up my playlists and should now be able to keep myself entertained in the gym. The amazing thing though is the Apple music store. It's just got so many songs and all so tantalizingly cheap that it would be rude not to buy the occasional one.

I remembered years ago hearing on Magic FM a Mark Cohen/early Elton John piano style song but could remember little more about it. I knew the title was a girls name but couldn't think of it. I was then playing some Madonna in the office and saw the song 'dear jessie' and the title of the song suddenly came to me 'Jessie'. I hooked up to the Apple store, previewed some of the various songs that were called Jessie and there it was Jessie by Joshua Kadison. I downloaded it and now have it forever on my nano. How ridiculously cool is that.

Jessie is as good, if not better than what I remember. You could say it was about a guy being used but to me it's about having a love of your life who can always excite you time and again. I don't know but there is something about someone being able to pop back into your life and drag you from all the tedium and banality and give you, albeit a temporary, heart pounding, shot of love and romance. Great song, try and source it out if you can.

Hooked up with my Bro on Friday night. Feeling deflated after another blow out, I thought I would use the fact that I was wearing an ironed shirt and too much aftershave to head down to the pub and then from here onto a club. It was ok but they had DJ Luck and MC Neat who aren't exactly my cup of tea. Everyone crowded up to the podium they were 'performing' from - why I don't know - and then listened to them either gibber ridiculously quickly or resort to either 'Oggie, oggie, oggie' or the classic 'all the sexy girls give me a cheer' when they felt the crowds attention span begin to wander. Nobody was dancing, just waving their hands and responding with the requisite 'oh, oh, oh'.

I wandered round the club a couple of times and had my cards on me. There were some nice looking girls but they all seemed so transient or couldn't even see me (must have been wearing my cloaking device again). I don't know, I look at all these girls and can't help but wonder if their personalities have levels of depth that are waiting, or desperate, to be explored or that they are just as shallow and vain as they look. I thought it was males who were meant to act like peacocks yet I've never seen so much hair flicking, attitude hip jutting or casual (but oh so deliberate) shoulder dropping to result in the strap sliding off. You'd like to think that they have some cleverness, some spark of humour or uniqueness but all they seem impressed with are the multitude of Hackett wearing, collar turned up, over produced hairstyle arses that hang around in gangs of six or seven, guzzling beer and incapable of dancing or conversing. I saw one girl mooching around the club who looked   cute in these secretary style glasses yet   had a dress open almost to her navel with these lovely large boobs hanging out.   Now it was nice to look at but it makes you wonder what kind of attention she hopes to get. Does she expect someone to want to talk to her, does she simply want to get noticed or does she want someone to say 'great tits, fancy a fuck'.

Times when I wandered around the club I felt like I was walking half as slow as everyone else, like one of those music videos where the singer is moving through a crowd where everyone is rushing past twice as fast. When I was younger girls only ever seemed to be interested in older men, yet now I'm older and all they seem to be interested in is younger men. Where was that change over period? Did that sweet spot only last for a day or maybe even hours, did it happen when I was asleep in bed because I am still waiting for the moment when my maturity and age act as this incredible magnet to younger girls.

One thing that I did have difficulty with in this huge superclub was the simple act of taking a piss. Now I'm not afraid to admit I'm pee shy (if this is the correct term). I can't piss in a urinal and need   the peace, privacy and lack of pressure that a cubicle affords. It isn't because I'm embarrassed about the size of my cock, as unlike most women think, men do not look at each others todgers in the toilets, but more so that I just can't pee when I feel pressured. If I feel someone is hurrying me so they can use the trough or thinking 'christ how long is this guy going to be' then it just won't come out and my bladder, although almost bursting, seals up tighter than Fort Knox. Hence I have to resort to the cubicles, which I have the pleasure of sharing with drug takers and those who enjoy a nightclub shit (who are these people?).

On this night after consuming numerous Red Bulls, J20's and bottles of water the time had come. I headed off to the first one which was very busy and had two cubicles. I got into one but heard everyone rustling outside and the GTA (Ghanaian Toilet Attendant) offering people Joop and 'No Armani, no poonanyi'. It was too much, I couldn't relax and left in search of another.  

I hit the VIP bar and found the gents. A trough and one cubicle, which was occupied. The GTA in here started chatting to me which is the last thing I wanted. I don't want people to register my existence otherwise they might register how long I take and if I think they might be doing that I cannot relax. He proceeded to tell me, whilst standing too far within my personal body space, how he was an ambassador for the club and my enjoyment was his main concern. 'Yeah thanks' I mumbled when the trap came free and bundled in. Ok, now relax, take your mind off it by concentrating on how many tiles on the wall or something else equally tedious and let the bladder do what it wants. I then hear two loud guys come into the toilet. 'Can we get in the cubicle' they ask the GTA. 'No, it's occupied' comes the response. Great now people are waiting to get in here and any chance of urine flow recedes like a Greenland glacier. I flush and exit the toilet, shaking away the offer of a handshake from the GTA.

I proceed down to the biggest toilet. An entire wall of urinals on one side and at least 8 cubicles on the other. Nirvana. But no, hang on, five of them are out of order, leaving only three and the one that comes free for me I discover has no lock.  I'm now trying to piss with one hand directing my knob and the other holding the door closed to avoid disturbance or an unwelcome crack on the back of the head by the door if I was lucky enough to be in mid flow. Add to this and maybe due to it being the biggest toilet we've got the hyper GTA that must be on crack as he is literally bouncing up and down the toilets clapping his hands together and singing 'You've got to freshen up, you've got to freshen up'. It's too much, I can't find that peaceful scene of rolling hills in my mind and I leave the toilet. I mill around the club for another five minutes and then return on a do or die mission to secure a lockable cubicle. It comes free, I get inside and begin to count the contents of my wallet with trousers right round my knees to avoid any form of restricting pressure. Ah bliss, it starts but you still have to remain utterly calm until about 15 seconds into full flow when the bladder takes over as an unstoppable motion and you can truly enjoy it. What a palaver I agree but we all have our cross to bear and if anyone else suffers from this you are not alone. Upon returning to the gang I felt relieved and ready for action. As it happens I left about an hour later without hitting the dance floor due to the poor music.

Hit the gym on Saturday to enjoy my new ipod. So refreshing being able to run with both hands though I will need to get some earphones as the ones that came with it are the type that just sit in your ear, or in my case keep falling out. I'll get the ones that clip over the ear though for the time being may have to revert to the big old cyberman ones and damage my fledgling gym 'cred'.

Watched Day of the Dolphin, which I'd recently bought on DVD. Like Jessie this was a film that I'd seen years ago, probably when in my teens, about talking dolphins and I remembered it's ability to upset me. It's aged ok (1970's) but with probably a little too much emphasis on the shots of swimming dolphins set to music as opposed to the story. Still good though and I'm glad that I own it. If anyone has actually seen it, I only know of one other that has, then you'll understand the sentiment behind 'Faa loves Paa'.

MotoGP was on Sunday and it was nice to see Rossi have a bad race. He's an incredible talent no doubt but his genius does make an event boring as there is an inevitability of him winning no matter where he starts on the grid. Yes, he is brilliant and gifted but the BBC goes on about him so much that it's degenerated into the tedium of F1 when Schumacher and Ferrari were so dominant. It's a real shame that the BBC can't be arsed to run with the World Superbikes, which delivers the kind of racing which I long for. Wheel to wheel, hotly contested stuff in bikes that seem to be a lot closer to each other in performance and are exhilerating to watch. Oh well Daniel Pedrosa came in second on his first ever MotoGP so maybe he will have the talent and bare faced cheek to take on Rossi as the last person who had the balls to do it was Sete Gibernau a few seasons ago.

 

 

No kiss kiss bang bang - 21/03/2006

Not a great deal to report this week. After much convincing and recommendation from work colleagues I've relented and ordered a black ipod nano. I need some music for when I'm at the gym and after last years continued use of a Sony dicsman and big earphones I thought I should move up a gear in gym audio fashion.  

I confess to not being overly concerned about how 'cool' I might look in the gym. I know the nice girls in there wouldn't give me a second glance and by the end when I'm sweating and panting I wouldn't expect anyone to look anyway. When using the discman last year it was so big that I had to hold it while jogging as it wouldn't fit in the holder meaning I ran with only the use of one arm, the other needing to keep the machine in almost perfect stability to prevent track skipping. Add to this   the only headphones I owned were the big over the ears ones with the over-the-head band so I must have looked like a one armed, sweating, grunting cyberman. Now you understand why I am not concerned about gym fashion!

But this is a new year and I do think the nano's look cool, especially the black ones so I ordered one. Even before it's turned up and despite my ridiculing of others succumbing to the multitude of accessorising I am doing the same and have already got the solid plastic protective case, though I tell myself that this is protecting my investment rather than accessorising. Now I'm just adding a multitude of tracks to my play listing to ensure I have a wealth of motivational banging house music.

Hit the gym again midweek and   had a very productive session on saturday. The swimming pools and gym are on different levels at my local sports centre so on Saturday, when wanting a swim, gym and steam room session I had to take two towels, a change of clothing and clamber into wet shorts for the steam session. Knackering but worthwhile. Had a drink in Chislehurst which was entertaining and listened to some complete chav in the toilets recounting to his colleague how in his 'old' days of drug dealing he could make £6,000 a week and bemoan the quality of drugs these days in how easily they crumbled. He was so out of it that he could hardly find the door of the toilet and his mate was wearing the thickest, heaviest style of hooded tracksuit available. Seriously this must have had a tog rating of beyond 25.

Saw the film Kiss kiss, bang bang on DVD which I thought was excellent. It was written and directed by Shane Black who scribed the lethal weapon films as well as last boy scout and the long kiss goodnight. As with those his script and dialogue was razor sharp yet still warm and funny enough that it wasn't overly trying to be cool, as you feel some tarantino scripts can be. You know when they seem to be more preoccupied with being cool rather than being enjoyable or enlightening. I never seem to have really liked Robert Downey Jnr, I don't know why, but his character in this and his portrayal of him was excellent. I was genuinely involved with him and could have watched him for many hours. The relationship between him and Val Kilmer was great as it was with the love interest who I found attractive. Not maybe as action packed as some of his other earlier scripts but equally as entertaining and rewarding. Were the currently available DVD not so barren in terms of special features, ie none, then a purchase would be a serious consideration. Highlight of the weekend for me though I have to say that some of the footage in Planet Earth this Sunday was pretty damn special as well. What an awesome programme this is. The photography, music and production values are exceptional and instills a sense of wonder that I've not felt for a long time, well certainly not since The Trials of Life which is one of my favourite all time wildlife series. I don't watch the Planet Earth diaries at the end as I don't want the mystique damaged.

Nothing else to report really. There was a very nice girl in the swimming pool last night. There was something about her that was a little bit special. That's not a simple oh she was wearing a bikini (which she wasn't and many others do) but she didn't seem to be with anyone, just got on with doing her lengths and seemed to possess this calm, unhurried confidence. It helped that she had a nice body but she wasn't overly displaying it and wore a classy yet practical simple black one piece and goggles. I think I'll try and get a better look at her face over the coming weeks but at least it could add a spark of interest to what is, although rewarding to my physique, a tedious exercise. Who knows she could even be on for a card! Watch this space.

 

 

Free bird - 14/03/2006

Ah well, another week another dollar as they say. My attempt to regain my pre Vegas physique continued with another swimming trip and a return to the Gym after four months of absence. It doesn't seem like four months. Some familiar faces are still there along with some familiar smells, particularly that first slightly un-fresh whiff as you enter the male changing rooms. It was good to be back and I'm going to try to stick to two visits a week rather than the three times and a swimming trip that I did last autumn.

A friend bought me the Lynyrd Skynyrd album as I'd been going on about the song Free Bird. Someone else in the office had mentioned it and I discovered it was the cracking guitar tune that is playing in Forrest Gump when Jenny clambers up onto the balcony and contemplates suicide. It's awesome and this album has a 9.04 version on it. Bliss, pure bliss. The last 4-5 minutes are like guitar sex and it's been my song of the week. The same group also did Sweet Home Alabama, which is also very good.

Not much else to report. Saw Syriana on Saturday which was disappointing. Even though it's a supposed Clooney film all of his role in the film is what you see in the trailer and thus has little or no excitement. They've been playing the trailer for so long that it practically tells the entire story. He's an agent, who is sent to take some out, gets caught himself, is left out to dry and then trys to warn the very person he meant to kill. Yawn. It reminded me of the lazy filmmaking present in Munich. They assume that the subject matter has so much weight and gravitas that they don't need to make the film entertaining and then fill it with a multitude of characters to tick all the boxes but who you can't really connect with because there are just too many.

A friend also designed me some very plain but wonderfully classy business style cards for me to hand out to people, ok girls, that I think are memorable and who I might want to make an introduction to but either didn't have the courage or opportunity to do it face to face with a cheesy chat up line. It's just a bit of fun though and not a stalky or demented thing.

I did try and fulfill a challenge in the office this week.  It was basically to go the entire week during office hours without burping, swearing, singing, extending my middle finger and waving it in someone's face (as the doctor does in the cannonball run) or slapping my soft belly. I commenced this arduous challenge at 3.00pm on Monday and failed it at around 10.00am ish on Tuesday by starting to sing along with Danke Schoen when it came on the radio. Pathetic attempt and I so lost the prize which would have been half the money towards an ipod nano.

So that's it. Short entry this time I'm afraid, talk soon.

 

 

For an angel - 06/03/2006

Well a pretty banal week if I'm honest with very little excitement to report. That's ok though. I think sometimes you have to have the quiet weeks/weekends so you can appreciate the busy ones. I'm always wary of people who say every weekend is fabulous and they are always out partying. If you are out all the time then when do you stop to appreciate your busy social life or is the act of maintaining it more important that actually having something fun to do or somewhere good to go.

It was pancake day on Tuesday and we had pancakes in the office, microwavable of course. A work colleague, who does like his cadbury cream eggs and who I have seen 'dunk' a penguin into one as if it was a toasted soldier and then consume decided that as well as trying an assortment of fruit, cream, lemon and maple syrup pancakes to melt a cream egg and have that in a rolled up pancake. He pronounced it 'delicious'.

I felt a little drained come the end of the week though it wasn't particularly stressful and was fixed to my PC on Friday. I couldn't be motivated to write on my site but was mainly looking to communicate with others. The internet is an amazing tool for showing you so much information and providing so many opportunities to speak to others yet if you are feeling lonely it can seem impossibly hard to make a connection. You end up flitting from site to site to see if anyone has responded to anything you may have posted to discover that of course they haven't because everyone else is out having a great time while you are bored senseless infront of the computer.

Enjoyed a monstrous lay in on Saturday. I didn't have anything else to do so took the opportunity to put some hours into the sleep bank which was welcomed. I hired the last three discs of the final season of Angel from the video shop and after enjoying some classic fish and chips settled down for a mammoth session. About eight hours later and the morning birds chriping, I hit the sack having signed off the whole series. It was great, very watchable with some cracking fights, wonderful characters, superb writing and a fantastic story. I've been watching the series for a good few years but with no network seeming to pick up the final season this method was all that was open to me. It might seem a bit geeky but I'm comfortable in my own company and it was nice to just veg on the sofa and watch something I really enjoy. It's a shame it has finished as there were many characters that I really like but it's good to have closure and the tale to be told. Some characters died, as sometimes is needed, but the series had power and resonance and lingered long after in the mind. (see my more developed entry under Television if interested)

That was about it really bar cooking a roast dinner on Sunday. Roast chicken, sausages, veg (broccoli, cauliflower and carrots in a four cheese sauce), roast pots (the only disappointment, normally the strong point but I dropped the ball a little) and some awesome gravy. Another week to come and nothing exciting planned but you never know. Speak soon.

 

 

Trance me up buttercup - 27/02/2006

Returned to the swimming pool last Monday and it was good to be back. Nice to be reminded of the ridiculously treacherous walk from the changing 'village' (communal changing area) to the pool. I attempt to cross this hostile ground at the slowest, steadiest walking pace imaginable and   hold the railing if possible yet I still feel as unsteady as a one legged, pissed up giraffe. I've nearly slipped over on almost every occasion and am baffled as to how such a slippery when wet surface could pass health and safety. I'd also forgotten how regularly my goggles steam up (not due to gawping at the scattered arse, though I am sometimes guilty of this) or the people that refuse to adhere to the basics of lane etiquette. It's quite simple really, you swim up and down the lane in an anti-clockwise fashion and if the person in front is slow (which they invariably are) then you go at their speed or hang back for a gap to develop. But no, here we have the arrogant arses who like to blast up and down the middle of the lane when it isn't wide enough oblivious to the number of head on clashes that are only avoided by other people violenty swerving or suddenly stopping. Selfish bastards.

Spent Wednesday evening in the company of my hairdressers who I've been going to for nigh on 12-13 years. I was one of their first customers and one of their most loyal it would seem. They are a lovely couple but this was the first time they had invited me round for dinner and what a meal. She knows I like Spaghetti Bolognaise and what a feast was laid out. The biggest bowl of bolognaise sauce for us to freely dive into, my own little bowl of grated cheddar cheese, a separate bowl of spaghetti and hot, oven fresh bread rolls with a block of garlic butter. Following this was a yummy chocolate cake. The best part though was the opportunity to have a really good chat with them. We know a lot about each from the hour or so that I spend in there every 5-6 weeks for the last how many years but this was the first chance to have a really good, non interrupted chat. I had gone round to play on the guys X360 but we talked so much that come 1.00 am it was time for me to head home. Maybe I'll get another chance soon to head round for some xbox and Italian.

Friday came at the end of a long and draining week and I looked forward to watching the semi finals of the ice hockey. I had planned to enjoy a fine supper of fish and chips from my local chippie (which is excellent) but an impromptu double 1/4 pounder meal at lunchtime, that my endless jabbering had encouraged office colleagues to try, meant I was full up come the evening. Watched the hockey and but then just couldn't get to sleep. I lay awake for over an hour before in the end frustration got the better of me and I got up and dressed and proceeded to watch about six episodes of Angel from series five that a friend had leant me. When there was none left to watch I clambered back into bed at about 5.30 am. Strange, I normally go to bed late and do have difficulty heading off to sleep but rarely do I get this at the end of the week.

Got Black (xbox game) on saturday along with some basic provisions. With nothing else to in the afternoon I whacked up the sub woofer and played my new game. It's pretty impressive. Granted it doesn't have the depth or longevity of a Halo or Fable but the graphics are great, the action is fast, furious and cathartic and the sounds of gunfire, explosions and destruction are outstanding. A great feature is that it allows you to play a custom soundtrack from the Xbox's hard drive so I loaded up the film score from Crimson Tide. Now this is quality gaming. Stalking around to this fantastic, powerful, inspirational music whilst blowing seven shades of shit out of virtually everyone and everything is deeply satisfying and a great reliever of stress.

Headed out later that night to Brixton Academy for HHA (Hard House Academy) which plays every quarter. I can never be arsed to take a coat or anything into these dance clubs when I go clubbing. Queing for the coat room just does my head in and I'd rather freeze walking from my car and waiting to get in rather than have the chore of waiting for my ticket and having to pre-empt leaving by about 20 minutes just to get it back. Amazing though that every time I do go it happens to be the coldest night on record practically. Anyway queued up for my guest list entrance which in the rather chilly atmosphere reminded me to just buy the tickets in future so I could walk straight in. I had been to HHA in Oct and was really quite disappointed. The music had been just too hard with little or no tunes and I had been a bit wary of returning because of this.  

Headed in, grabbed a red bull and a bottle of water and sat up and to the left rear of the dancefloor while I waited to let the rythmn get inside me. Brixton Academy is a great venue for this type of event. It's got a big stage and a high ceiling with ornate boxes and carvings around the stage and a huge seated circle area for when you get tired. There are some bars to the back of the main arena and from here the carpeted flooring slopes down to the wooden suspended dancefloor. The lighting and sound is always excellent and being able to see the DJ's on the stage and the huge sweep of fellow dancers moving up and down like a swelling ocean really gets the blood pumping. I moved down onto the periphery of the dance floor, conscious of being on my own and just attempting to push through that uncomfortable first 10-15 minutes of dancing when you feel like everyone is watching and your feet are stuck in treacle. Rob Tissera came on at 1.00 who I've seen at   a few Tidy weekenders and wasn't that impressed with. Got to hand it to him though he ripped it up and even though I'd been dancing for about half an hour I ran with him all the way through his set. Proteus, who I'd primarily come to see, came on at 2.00 and delivered as I knew he would. He played some old and some new but all with great tunes, wicked trancy breaks and some banging beats. What a legend. His energy in bouncing round the stage really rubs off on the audience, well me certainly, and at one point he clambered onto these speakers and was just punching the air in time with the beat. I kept up with him with my fair share of hand waving and occasional whoops and yells. He finished and I grabbed another red bull and a water as I was truly parched and beginning to feel the effects of my dancing and lack of previous gym time.

I'd heard a lot about Andy Whitby but couldn't say he was memorable from the times I'd seen him. Well this time he certainly made an impression dropping a host of classics including Heavens Cry and one of my alll time favourites 'Lost in Love'. I think there was certainly a scream and a roar of 'what a tune' from me when he dropped the needle on that baby. He played this banging mix of Prodigy numbers which was fabulous. My legs and back were beginning to feel the strain but New Energy Collective followed him and they were outstanding as well. They dropped tune after tune of increasing frenzy that helped lift my fading body to new heights of dancefloor nirvana. It's amazing when at these events what a difference it makes being surrounded by others who are really going for it and similarly pumped rather than the sidestep shuffle crowd. You really do feel a sense of belonging and connection with others when you witness so many hands in the air, washed over by sweeping lights and lasers and can feel the anticipation in the crowd growing as a trancey break rises to an exploding crescendo and an accompanying roar. 5.00am came and although there was one more set to go I was truly fucked.  

Headed back to my car, ignoring the cold, offers of ghana cabs and flyer distributors. Drove back listening to some relaxing John Barry and contemplating whether to hit McDonalds. I know this will make me sound a fat bastard but I had only eaten a couple of bacon rolls for lunch and the need for some meat, salty chips and a sweet drink was overwhelming. Dispelling thoughts of being a slob and convincing myself that my 4 1/2 hours of dancing had more than earned it I headed to the big M in Docklands. Pulled up to the drive thru counter, requested my meal and was told they were only now serving breakfast. I was crest fallen. Everything was set up for a good ole munch (music, fatigue and desire) and now I was being offered a lowly McMuffin. I thanked the chap and drove home where I settled for a quick bath, a slice of marmite on toast and a glass of milk before slipping under the duvet at around 7ish.  

I was quite proud of myself really. I may be 34 and haven't been to the gym for about 3-4 months but I literally danced my arse off for over four hours on just three red bulls and three bottles of water with no drugs.  It's just a shame that I don't have a bunch of clubbing buddies. I'm not blaming my existing mates but I think I'd be good company to do this kind of clubbing with. I'm sensible, happy to drive and can keep up with virtually anyone on the dancefloor. I've been on the Tidy board for over two years now but I just ain't a face on there and it seems many go to chat and dance a little whereas I just can't help but wanna get down. I really would love though just for once to spend some time dancing with a real, cybered up clubbing honey who knows how to dance and wants to be hugged during the trancey breakdowns. Even better though would have been to have someone to head home with. I felt really great after the dancing and would have loved to have finished the evening with some gentle, tender sex with someone special. A thoroughly enjoyable night and just like the previous HHA did in Feb 2005 this really fired back up my interest in going clubbing again.

Watched the ice hockey final on Sunday. It was a tight game and we were supporting the Finnish as they were the underdogs and had never won an ice hockey gold before. They came very close and were very strong but sweden scored a blinder of a third goal at the beginning of the third period and try as they might, including some herculean last minute efforts the Finns just couldn't level the score. Set my bro up to play some black, which he thoroughly enjoyed and later watched the closing ceremony of the Olympics.

I know a lot of people grumble about the sponsorship, corruption and greed of the olympics but they are special. I always seem to miss the ceremonies though I can remember staying up to watch the Los Angeles one in '84 where they had a rocket man come blasting into the stadium. The stadium in Turin for this ceremony did look lovely in the darkness and some of the shots when they turned the lights down and waving torches sparkled in the crowd were mesmerizing. At one point they had these performers who were being kept suspended in the air by these huge air fans and it was quite a sight. A guy in white suspended about 50ft off the ground holding this billowing white silk tube which extended for another 30ft while the rest of the stadium was shrouded in darkness was really great and the moment when a delicate piano piece echoed round as the flame slowly fluttered out was surprisingly moving.  

Then the   fireworks started up and the 'wrap' party was moving into gear. They have their doubters but I think the Olympics are a good showcase for the human race. You see many personal truimphs, overcoming of hurdles and obstacles and people really striving to excel in a sport that they have devoted many hours if not years to perfecting. Couple that with some breathtaking ceremonies, fireworks, organization and spectacle and I think you have something to be proud of. Yes it might cost a fair packet but I think the world treating itself to a huge party once every four years isn't a bad thing. Watching them certainly makes me wish that I could have done something or been good enough to have been an olympian, to have represented my country and to have tasted the heady atmosphere of   being with so many other competitors from every nation around the globe. It's easy to dismiss but when you look at the bigger picture of so many people united in competitive sport I find it quite humbling.

Oh well, time to sign off. Apologies if that was particularly tedious but I wouldn't want you to go to the effort of logging on for a few measly paragraphs would I. Until the next time.

 

 

The double quarterpounder - 20/02/2006

I know you are on tenterhooks, desperate for your latest hit of my news and I'll try not to disappoint. The highlight of the last six days being a culinary explosion of taste so please read on. 14th Feb was hell getting out of the front door due to the mound of red envelopes, balloons, flowers and undies but I managed.

I was struggling with a flu/cold thing which naturally would have felled any normal man but for me just reminded me of the simple pleasures of stifling inopportune sniffs and the joy of attempting to eat when your nose is bunged up.   Always an interesting debate to see whether when you are chewing a mouthful of food what is more important, satisfying the hunger in your stomach or the need for air in your lungs. Lungs normally win forcing a head tip back (to avoid food falling out), open mouth and draw in of breath, before returning to chewing. Always best to eat alone when you have a cold I think. Weekend was ok. A little shopping for some trousers on Saturday for the following saturdays solo trip to HHA in Brixton and then it was off to a friends wedding reception.

I'd asked my brother to tag along to keep me company as I knew nobody else apart from the bride. We suited up and headed off to Richmond Park. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get there, including an unnecessary trip over the Thames, and we eventually rolled into the reception at 9.30. We grabbed a few drinks at the bar and then chatted to the bride. She's a lovely girl who I used to work with and I do hope she'll continue to be happy as she deserves it. The venue was great and Richmond Park looks a lovely place that might be worthy of re-investigation when it's sunny. We did feel a little bit like wedding crashers and seemed to miss out on the food which disappeared whilst chatting to the bride. Not knowing anyone meant I wasn't up for any dancefloor displays of stunning choreography and scintilatting eroticism so bro and I simply people watched.  Weddings are nice things, most people are happy and it's good to see the older folks getting up and shaking their thang. We gave it about 45 minutes, munched some excellent wedding cake and then headed off. It seems out of order but to be honest I wanted to see her at the reception and wish them luck more than anything else.

Bro and I were a little hungry and decided that a 24 hour drive thru McDonalds would fill the hole. Headed to the one on the Old Kent Rd whose queue was just ridiculous. By this time it had adopted 'do or die' mission status and if it meant driving all the way to Thurrock then so be it. I fancied one and I knew my bro was hungry. We went through the Blackwall Tunnel after scouting the one at the Greenwich Peninsula, which was closed, and just before I joined the A13 I thankfully remembered the McD's at Canary Wharf. We studied the menu and I decided to copy my bro in a double quarterpounder with cheese meal and 9 chicken mcnuggets. We pulled up in a bay looking at the towers, John Barry playing on the CD and prepped our waiting legs with napkins, sauce placement etc. The double 1/4pounder was revealed and oh my god!

Now this is a burger. It was heavy, it was dense, it was juicy and christ did it taste good. Screw Morgan 'super size me' Spurlock I thought as I bit down into the succulent meat, cheese and bun. My brother was even more animated and with the moans and groans of pleasure coming from the car we could well have been dogging. You could only make one or two dunks in the sauce pot (BBQ for bro, Tom for me) before it was too large to reach any further down. Combine this with the french fries and the freshly cooked nuggets and we were in big M heaven. There's nothing like bonding with your car than with a drive thru meal and   utilising of the cup holders and internal lights. My belly was full and we were both contented. We must have spent about 4 1/2 hours in my car that night but it was worth it to see my friend and also to spend some good time with my bro.

Checked out Aeon Flux at the cinema on Sunday. It was ok, nothing special but if forced I'd rather sit through that again than Munich. Gonna try to get back to the gym this week and at least make a start on tapping my energy reserves before next Sat night.

 

 

Diamonte belt buckle - 14/02/2006

Hey pop pickers. It's been a few weeks since my last confession and I know you are dying to know what I've been up to. I know some friends believe I should 'sex up' my stories and entries a little bit and I can see where they are coming from. I'm sure it would be far more entertaining for you to read about the exploits of a millionaire playboy, a covert operative who exists outside of the law or an area 51 test pilot but none of these would be me.

I guess it comes down to what I want this site to achieve. To be honest I don't want to change the world, although if every man, woman and child on the planet would read this I would be happy. No, I really just want to have a central collective for my thoughts. A place that if I was chatting to someone and wanted to give them a chance to know the real me or at least find out more about what makes me tick, this is where I could direct them.

One thing I have and will always strive to do is be honest, maybe too honest if you read some of the more personal thoughts in women and relationships, but I do believe that if you truly want to do or say something you have to give up or share a little more of yourself.

My musings and my journal entries might be boring but at least they are me. They may be long winded   (or richer in details as I prefer to say!) which goes against some theories that websites are only for shallow transients, flitting from site to site, unable to concentrate on anything longer than ten minutes. This may be the case but you can't write for the weakest member of the population, you can't run the pace of a race for the slowest member and thus I have to aim to reward the patient reader. There are short pieces where the item warrants it and for the short attention spanners but the real meat about who I am is buried in those lengthy passages.

Of course I'd like everyone to read and enjoy my site and draw from it whatever pleasure or entertainment they see fit but if I can make a real impact, share an opinion/feeling or have a connection with just 5% of the readers then I will be genuinely happy.

Now onto the thrilling escapades of the last few weeks. It's been quiet. I managed to catch Munich which I found very poor. I like Speilberg but I felt this overly self indulgent, tedious, predictable and just plain boring. I should have realised the film was going to be pants when in a 'final destination' moment I managed to draw four, that's right four, consecutive coffee revels from my friends bag of revels that he'd kindly offered me.   I'm sure there is no greater sign of impending doom than hitting those odds with the coffee revels. The action scenes felt like they were inserted purely to add a little flash-bang to keep the audience awake, some scenes just felt completely pointless and should have been left on the cutting room floor to shave the minutes off the running time and one of the supposed 'big' emotional scenes was just plain hilarious. Bana's character is imagining the scenes of the hostages being shot on the helicopter, scored naturally to gladiator-esque music, while he shags his missus and at the point of climax in both the love scene and the murder of the hostages he throws his head back to release what must have been about a litre of sweat. Any attempt at drama was shattered by what looked like a cheesy Gillette advert and it took everything to prevent myself from bursting out laughing.

I see the papers and the media have been full for the last few weeks about the Danish cartoons crisis/debacle. I'd could go on for ages about my views but I thought the whole episode was summed up quite succinctly in an image I saw on a website which showed demonstrating individuals marching through streets. An inserted slogan then read 'Define Irony : Protesting against free speech' - sums it up beautifully.

I was driving home last week on the dual carriageway and had this dawdling car infront of me. I wasn't tailgating him but he knew I wanted to get past. I also don't like undertaking people so I held back. The dual carriageway opened to three lanes and you would have thought that he would have moved to the middle lane. No, now he wanted to race and put his foot down, I accelerated easily keeping up with him. I knew there was a speed camera approaching and when we were almost on it I slowed down.  He carried on racing ahead, obviously truimphant that he'd 'broken me' and then the camera double flashed him. I pissed myself laughing 'Ha, ha mother, revenge is a wonderful thing'.

Went to a club in Clapham this weekend called Inferno's. It's delightfully and unashamedley cheesy with two floors playing   a mix of 70's, 80's and 90's cheddar. I must go there again when I'm drunk for I imagine it would be even more fun. There was a girl upstairs who caught my eye. Brown bobbed hair, white unbuttoned top, black cardigan and the most wonderful, big........ well you know me. I did at one point when Billie Jean came on move onto the dancefloor and in kind of her direction but I am useless at any kind of direct action fearing that my intentions would be written as clear as a bell across my face. Even without her seeing me (I was at least 8ft away) she   slowly moved round so her back was towards me and I thought 'fuck it the gods aren't with me tonight' and scuttled downstairs.

I was wearing this diamonte encrusted oblong belt buckle that a friend had bought for me which has an LED display on it across which I had scrolling payne by name. People think I'm clinically mental for wearing it and it's only meant as a bit of fun but a girl did ask me what it meant before telling all her friends. Maybe one of them will remember and peruse this very entry. Maybe I should get some business cards done so that people can tuck them away for safekeeping.

That's really about it. I seem to have contracted some kind of cold/flu bug which will keep me from returning to the gym this week. I felt a little bloated on saturday night, ok I felt fat, well maybe just a bit soft and I think the self loathing has built back up high enough to spur my return to the gym. On a final note well done to Proteus for winning for the second year running the best hard dance DJ award.   For me this guy is a top talent both in stage energy, choice of tunes and mixing skills and I'm pleased that he won again. Well done that man.

Take care and we'll talk again soon.

 

 

Disappointed by so called friends - 30/01/2006

Nothing huge to report again. A quiet week. Ordered the film score of Crocodile Dundee at the beginning of the week. I always loved the main theme and the way it slowly builds at the end of the film as Sue runs towards the subway station as Mick is leaving town is so great I thought I should get it.  

By the end of the week I'd written my review of Forrest Gump which naturally reminded me how much I liked this film.  I always enjoyed the music for this film. The song music was great with tracks like Running on empty, Free bird and the Jimi Hendrix one when they go to Vietnam but these aren't on the actual movie album and it was also the orchestral music which used to cause the biggest lump. Discovered this reasonably cheap on amazon, along with the Green Mile soundtrack (what another great film but more on that another time) and ordered them both.   They've still yet to arrive but it will be nice to tickle my ears with those soon. At the complete opposite end of the music spectrum on Thursday I bought Resonate 5, which is the supposed last in a line of hard trance series from Tidy.

I drove   down to stay with some friends over the weekend on Friday night which allowed me to listen fully to my new album and it rocks. The first CD is ok but had about 4-5 tunes I'd heard before but the second CD was just wicked. Some really great tunes with a banging beat and coupled with chocolate eclairs and murray mints the journey down was great. So much so that I looked forward to the drive home on Sunday night to enjoy it again.  

The remainder of the weekend was ok. Out and about on the saturday and went to see one of them gigging in a nearby pub. I've known this couple for about 10 years, they are the ones with the young baby who I've talked about enjoying to hold yet I discovered through a relative accidentally spilling it out that they had been married for the last two and a half years. I was surprised to say the least, not because I didn't approve, far from it. The guy is a really great bloke who I like and respect a hell of a lot and had been telling the other friend that she should hurry and marry him. No, I was surprised and disappointed by why they hadn't told me. Granted it's their news and their   right to tell whoever they wish but I thought I was part of their inner circle, someone who they considered a close friend but obviously I am not. Without me realising, they had swerved me off the matter a day earlier which demonstrated that if the relative hadn't blurted it out they probably might never have told me.  

Oh well, you live and learn and I tried not to let it ruin the weekend. Played with the little 'un, which I always enjoy, had a nice spag bol and enjoyed the drive home. Not much planned for the coming weekend but at least January is coming to an end and February is a short month so Spring should be here soon.

 

 

Cinema idiots - 23/01/2006

For those that do take the time to read this site and section in the hope that one day they will read something truly momentous then this entry, like many to follow, contains nothing earth shattering I'm afraid. Though I'm obviously grateful of your continued support. No, this is just the continuing rambles that constitute the mediocre life of a average looking, middle aged man.

Last Monday I was pulled over by the police on the way in to work. I'd turned right at a No right turn sign (as to be fair I've done before) and not spotted the police meat wagon in the rear view mirror. I saw the flashing lights and pulled over. The WPC passenger of the van seemed to be out and knocking on my window before I even had time to get out of the car. She asked me to step onto the pavement and then asked why I thought I'd been pulled over.   Honesty is always the best policy so I said 'Yes I know I turned right when I shouldn't have' I smiled sheepishly and she smiled, I think grateful that I wasn't going to be difficult. She said she would have to give me a spot fine but with no endorsable points, which was a relief. She was quite cute. Short, blond and nice eyes and also wasn't giving me this condescending, patronising attitude. I'd fessed up and knew I was in the wrong so she had no need to treat me like a child. Her male partner played the strong silent cop routine while he ran a check on my plate.

It was funny but while she wrote out the form I didn't know whether to strike up conversation. I didn't want to act disrespectfully but standing in silence was proving embarrasing so we engaged in some light hearted banter. I considered giving her my website address but wasn't sure how she would take it and was furiously trying to remember if there was anything remotely illegal mentioned on her (nothing apart from whether you could get off a murder charge if you killed chavs by pleading that you were performing a simple civic responsibility). She finished writing out the ticket and asked for my official reply now that she had put forward the official line. I replied 'guilty as charged' which made her laugh and she wrote it down. I took my ticket and thanked them (not really knowing how else to say goodbye) and clambered back into my car. As I pulled off I lowered the window and gave them a friendly wave which they responded to with a flash of the lights. Probably my best ever dealing with our nations constabulary.

Saw the film Dark Water on DVD during the week. It was better than I had expected. It was well written with some strong characters but I had thought it was going nowhere until the last couple of scenes where it genuinely unnerved me. It had built a slow, depressing tale but I did think Pete Postelthwaites accent was a bit hammy and got in the way of understanding his character. A good film and one that I enjoyed watching.

Went to the dentists on Friday for a filling which had fallen out a week before. I'll be honest here but I hadn't been to the dentist for about 7 - 8 years. This doesn't mean I'm some yellow toothed, coffin breathed, deliverance like hick it's just that money was always a little tight and I never had a toothache. I had a few dentists who put me through the mill when younger so with no toothache and limited funds there was hardly an incentive to go. Anyway I went for my filling. They're talking about doing a crown which could cost anything between £300 - £500 but I'm not sure. I had some questions and although we got on well, they were ladies so of course they would! they still didn't put me at ease about the procedure and also didn't have a book of previous jobs so I could see the quality of their work. They did the filling which was quick and painless but not having had a mouth numbing injection for some years it did seem to take an age before sensation and, more importantly, taste returned to my mouth.

The weekend was relaxing with pleasant lay in's and bit of food shopping. I did the producer of my driving documents at the police station which was difficult to negotiate. I couldn't find where I was supposed to go, there was some kind of delicatessan style board but no tickets and I eventually managed to speak to someone who agreed that it was confusing.

Went to the cinema on sunday to see Jarheads. Before the film started a rather unpleasant couple decided to sit in the middle of a row in seats that weren't theirs. A group of 8 came along politely asking to move as they were in their seats. They received a tirade of abuse from these two pieces of scum and the gang scuttled off, bar two girls who stuck their ground. They went and got a member of staff who also asked them to move and received another verbal battering. The woman eventually decided to get up and as she walked past the poor girl threw her popcorn all over her which ended up going over about three rows and including me. I really felt for this girl, she shown the courage to stand up to these two shits and I thought she deserved recognition so while she waited for her friends to return I tapped her on the leg (I was sitting down at the time) and said bravo , I'm with you and you did the right thing. She thanked me and I made a special point of giving her a reassuring/congratulatory smile when I left the cinema. She was quite a honey but the exiting crowd had me pushed out the auditorium before my eyes could take in anymore.

The film was ok. It was about the tedium of war and I guess as the director was trying to achieve it left you wishing there had been a decent action scene but of course for these particular soldiers inaction was what they had to endure so it was therefore an accurate portrayal. Entertaining though and a good way to end the weekend.

 

 

New Year Blues - 16/01/2006

Well it's been a couple of weeks now but if I'm honest not a great deal has happened. Hardly surprising though as January is a pretty shitty month. You have to admit that as months go January sucks the fat one.

It's cold, it's miserable, money is invariably tight after the excesses of present buying and/or treating yourself to some big nights out, the waistline is feeling a little strained after a few weeks of mad consumption followed by a further couple of weeks in eating all the stuff that you bought before Christmas because you didn't want to run out of snacks, your own life (unless of course blissfully happy) is still going relatively nowhere and despite it being a new year you can't see how 2006 is really going to be any different from 2005.

You find yourself wondering that when this year finishes whether you will look back at it as you have done all the previous years or whether this year will be the one where something truly special or magical happens. I guess I shouldn't grumble though, 2005 was a better year than most. I had a few good nights out, I got a new car, visited Paris and went to Las Vegas, yeah ok 2005 was a good year, now let's see if 2006 can top it!!

Weekends have been fairly subdued affairs. Naturally the website is being covered by every magazine and current affairs programme in the western hemisphere for it's fascinating insight into the mind of an average male and my email has been literally melting with the sheer numbers of single, large breasted women desperate to interact with such a witty, intelligent individual but when I've not been replying to them it's been quiet.

I'm trying to save a little cash so have been watching some of the DVD's that I got for Christmas including seasons 2 and 3 of Quantum Leap. I used to love watching this show when younger and when the music kicks in it just evokes all these pleasant feelings. The moral stories are fun and involving and the characters even better than I remembered but I'll prattle on about them in a separate TV topic when I get round to doing it.

Have been toying with heading back to the gym but I'm just waiting for the self loathing reserve to build up a little more. I joined a gym last summer and along with a lessening intake of food (I just ate a lesser amount of unhealthy stuff so can't really call it a diet) managed to lose about a stone and a half. I then went to Vegas, came back with an annoying and persistent cold/flu thing, then it was Christmas and here I am in the New Year. I'm not being weak willed, if I truly wanted to go back or I had someone studying my body every night then I would, it's just that at this stage rambling on the website is more attractive.  

When the stomach swells a little more and the self hate becomes all consuming then that will be the catalyst to return. Besides I know the gym at the moment will be full of annoying arses who will only remain in there for a few more weeks so by the time I do return in my luminous thin vest, baggy black & white striped jog pants, leopard skin fingerless weight gloves and stars & stripes bandana all the lycra clad honeys will be gagging for the return of a real man.  

Nothing else noteworthy to report so until the next time thanks for reading.

 

 

Christmas and New Year - 03/01/2006

Well 2006 is now here. Hope you guys had a good time off. I left work quite excited on the 23rd. I think I was just pleased that I'd got the website to a stage where there should be a fair chunk of info on it for those taking a look at it. It was also nice to have a collective place for both my thoughts and also some of my favourites. I don't take a great deal of shots. Not because I do the whole 'no I hate having my photo taken' I mean I could hardly be shy and retiring with my own website but it was just good to know that having scanned them in they were obtainable if I ever lost or damaged them.

Christmas Eve was ok. Popped in to get my hair cut, chatting with my hairdressers who I've been going to for over 15 years now and are a really great couple. I always pop in on Christmas Eve.  Headed to a local pub with my brother, his girlfriend and mates that night. It was packed as we'd expected and we began to mash down the drinks. We were ordering 4 rounds at a time as the queue to the bar was so bad. I proceeded to become tipsy and sang my heart out to all manner of songs including the baywatch song and sweet child o' mine to name a few replete with extravagant guitar movements and the odd crazy move. I was also trying to divert my attention from one of my brothers girlfriends friends. Christ she was only 19 but had a lovely little face, short curly black hair and a wonderful little body squashed into jeans and a black corset like top. I should have been playing cool and her be flattered that such an older guy was taking an interest but naturally she was used to male attention and thus was receiving it from all and sundry. Out of sight and attempted out of mind I hoped and continued enjoying the festivities with the others. Home time came and we attempted to 'do the right thing' by walking the girls home, and I do mean purely for that and not to grab a late snog. I realised I had no chance, and maybe shouldn't have been thinking of it anyway, but I did feel responsible for ensuring that her and her mates got home safely.

The first kebab shop we came upon they dived in and after wrapping themselves around the nearest stranger offering chips or meat we wandered off in disgust. Do your own thing but I'm not worried about your safety anymore.   Ambled home for a spot of Halo 2, some rants about women and an impromptu wrestling bout on the floor with brother and his mates which always seems hilarious at the time but not the next morning when gouges on elbows and forehead are revealed!

Headed to my Aunts on christmas day for the big family thing that we have every year. I enjoyed it. I confess to find it boring when younger but as I get older you look for that one moment, whether it's when all of us (about 17) are round the table or handing out presents that you think 'Yes I'm part of something bigger, part of a family'. The defining moment passes quickly but every year it comes in some form or another.  

Boxing day was round my mums for a huge and lovely christmas dinner. Ate like a king and then retired upstairs to watch some of the Predator film documentaries, which were very entertaining. Played some Half life 2 the next day before heading round to friends for nibbles, a music quiz and some enjoyable jenga.  

Drove to some relatives of mine who live in Reading the next day. I haven't seen them for about three years much to my shame but it was really great to see them again. I took down the ingredients for the Spag Bol and knocked it up for them while we chewed the cud about what we'd been doing etc. Did a little shopping with them the next day, watched the Iron Giant in the afternoon which I'd taken up on DVD (must write a review for this as it's a really enchanting wonderful film) before we had a great roast pork dinner. I never ate a great deal of vegetables when younger, much to my parents annoyance, yet the bonus of this is I can still be surprised by some food. They did this brocolli and leek in cheese sauce which was wicked. Really great and I went back for seconds and thirds polishing everything off. Drove home after this as the roads were quieter and they were heading out the next day.

Lazy lye in the next day before brother came up in the evening with his mates for drinks and forfeit jenga. Created this wicked drink for those that dropped the jenga structure. Shot glass with a layer of aftershock, baileys, black vodka and topped with green absinthe (85% proof no less). Needless to say it fucked those that drunk it, which wasn't me as my jenga record continued unblemished. Was a real shame we didn't have any girls there what with the music, fun and games but c'est la vie. Watched team america again and the guys headed home.

Met my cousin who was over from Korea for lunch on new years eve. We had chatted on christmas day but not had a really good one so started over lunch and continued it in the pub afterwards.   Was great to catch up as she was only over for 5 days and was heading back the next day for us to resume our email relationship. Dropped her off afterwards and headed home for a shave and bath before hooking up with a mate who was back from holiday.  Headed out to a local club wearing my crazy rave shirt (see the gallery for which one) chatted to each other and proceeded to get drunk. We got approached by this rough looking woman. I'm not being arrogant as I don't think I'm particularly special but she bowled straight in with the misplaced arrogance of Paris Hilton before proudly proclaiming that her friends were betting on which one she would snog. She didn't win any bets and thankfully scuttled off. I'm not being nasty but we didn't look over or give any indication that we were interested and I couldn't be arsed to spend the night chatting to someone who I wasn't attracted to. Chinked glasses as twelve chimed out and headed downstairs for a boogie. The DJ dropped some quality 70's/80's cheese and I did my best to lift the crowd with some drunken dancing and wild singing but if was only half full and lacking in atmosphere and talent.   We left before the end grabbing our waiting cab. Dropped off mate and en route back the lightness of my head was being joined by a ravenous stomach. Got in, whacked on the deep fat fryer and 15 minutes later sat down to double fried egg, steak chips and baked beans (naturally cooked to perfection) and some buttered bread. I think my lack of hangover the next day had a lot to do with this calorie controlled binge and I hit the sack content with a full belly.Hit the shops for some provisions and took in king kong that night which was very disappointing, though I had been expecting this.  

The last day was as usual when a holiday comes to an end, the most content. Lay in, cup of tea and a sausage sandwich, played some xbox, watched hitch which a friend had bought me and I enjoyed a lot. Had some evening grub with my bro (jacket pot and pie) before watching 'catch me if you can' on the TV again and finishing it with two episodes of Quantum Leap that I'd got for chrimbo. This was one of my favourite shows when younger and watching them again they still hadn't lost their magic. Why don't I spend all the days of my holiday in as relaxed a state as I always do for the last one?

Back into work today to see if people had checked out the site, which rather delightedly they had and also to respond to those kind enough to contact me. So there you go.  Hope your holiday was as entertaining, if not moreso and I look forward to talking to you again soon. Take care.

 

The Beginning - 23/12/2005

Well I'm ready to launch the website. It's taken about two weeks of pulling together material that I'd posted on various sites on the web, knocking up some new material and scanning in photos etc. Of course, like everyone, I've been getting ready for christmas but thankfully don't have that many presents and cards that I need to get.

Lord knows if anyone will even look at this site. Some could say it's arrogant to set it up but I post most of this stuff on other boards so I can't see why it's more arrogant to have it all in one collective place. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes and what kind of responses I get.

Anyway if you are ready this then I wish you a Merry Xmas and a wonderful 2006. Cheers.