Weekly-ish musings. I know these are long winded but I don't get a chance to write daily entries so just dump everything down that I've done and what I was thinking during that week.
Round up
And another year comes to an end. I'm certainly fatter starting 2007 than I was 2006 but this should be remedied soon. 2006 felt like a good year. I still didn't meant the girl of my dreams but it doesn't seem to trouble me as much. Whether it's because I have more things to occupy myself with or maybe that my cynicism at ever achieving this has dulled my desire to get it. I still want to chase girls and feel the excitement of those first tentative steps but am probably just a lot more realistic about the chances of them happening and also how they aren't the 'be all and end all' of everything. I think I've become harder, more resilient and maybe a little bitter/scathing. I'm less inclined to waste my time with people that I don't like, care about or have time for. I'm not saying I'll be nasty but I'm not going to chase wasted causes or spend time on those that don't appreciate me.
Looking back there's been a fair bit that has happened. The hoax Valentine card that I received that annoyed me so much I didn't even mention on my journal, enjoying the McDonalds double quarterpounder as well as late night pit stops at the tea hut, finding Freebird the song, finding ASOT, Armin and the wonder of the new trance that he opened me up to, driving down to Bournemouth to see him, working in a poll office in the local elections, giving out the very first card to zero success and handing out a total of five (or was it six) over the year, getting a bit more into paintball, getting my Xbox 360, gaining two internet friends in Amy and Steph which was all the more surprising bearing in mind the more 'blokey' nature of my site, cooking Poulet de Marge in the office, further developong my Bolgnaise, seeing the Air Guitar championship, enjoying Lost, getting barred, having a Mohican haircut and going to Barcelona.
Sporting wise the world cup was disappointing from an English point of view, though hardly surprising considering the endemic problems within our team. It was entertaining to watch for the other teams though. The Winter Olympics were good with GBR winning a silver medal and the always enjoyable ice hockey tournament, though I wish Finland had won the gold rather than Sweden. MotoGP delivered the best season I have ever seen and I was delighted that Nicky Hayden won, and that Rossi didn't again.
Film highlights would have to be The Matador, the Warrior King, Bubba ho-tep, Mission Impossible III and Film Geek. Film Geek probably had one of the most entertaining and relevant trailers ever and the film is very close to who I could be percieved to be. For next year I have to say that Rocky Balboa looms invitingly on the horizon with other tasty morsels offered in the form of 300, Transformers, Fantastic Four II, Die Hard 4 and Spiderman 3. Which of those will feature in next years summary I do not know.
I don't feel 2006 was wasted and I'm looking forward to 2007. To losing a little weight, saving a little more money, finding the girl(s) of my dreams and maybe going on hols to the US with my bro. Biggest of all though is Halo III. That might make me sound a geek but the other two games have delivered masses of entertainment and getting involved as the excitement and momentum builds is something to enjoy and I hope to share with friends and colleagues alike.
Most importantly this year, especially if you are reading this, was the continued growth and development of my website. Ok it might be long winded and boring but it's my space, as they say, and I'm proud that if someone wants to know me or try to understand me then here I am. I like the voice it gives me and the possibilty to observe a time and a place when I'm old(er) and grey(er).
I hope your 2007 is a great one and that maybe you'll stick around with me for another year.
Christmas and the New Year - 31/12/06
Christmas Day and I woke alone as usual. Cup of tea and opened a couple of pressies from a work colleague which was really sweet. Headed down to Mum's for a bacon and egg sarnie and opened a few more pressies. I got the two main things that I'd wanted. Rainbow Six:Vegas for the x360 and the original Star Wars IV - VI on DVD. Bro had received the bulk of his present in my contribution to his 360 but I still got him some DVD's and a game. We got Mum a new telly as her one was knackered. There was a communal skip slightly further down the road so as they got ready to go over to my Aunt's I got to feel like a pikey and dump her two old TV's in the skip.
Headed over to my Aunt's for the normal Christmas Day celebrations. Nibbles then present opening which now that I'm older usually consists of cheques, ties/socks and smellies. After a couple of games of Kerplunk that I'd won in the office, the turkey was being cut and I scrambled to the kitchen to scavenge some skin. It wasn't very warm but you can't beat skin, well actually you can because they had put a few strips of crispy bacon on the
I'd taken along a Tom & Jerry DVD that I'd bought before Christmas and a few of us watched some of the cartoons after the meal. I really like Tom & Jerry. It's good humoured fun and the memorable scream that emits from Tom whenever his tail gets slammed is always hilarious. Whether it's because they don't show them anymore or simply because I don't watch kids TV but it's been an age since I last saw a T&J cartoon and it was good to do so. By this time I confess that the full belly was leading to a little tiredness and we decided to hit the road. As usual it was a nice way to spend Christmas Day and I'm always grateful for the hospitality that my Aunt offers.
We traditionally spend Boxing Day down at my Mums, just the three of us, and this year was no different. Another big meal, actually it was huge, and we decided to delay the pudding with a game of Jenga. Mum was concerned that she'd be crap but in fact she beat us both. We only played two games but they lasted a fair amount of time and bro tumbled the tower in the first game and I in the second. I couldn't believe we lost to our mum but in a way I was pleased for her. Grabbed some pudding with cream and then watched Mission Impossible III together. Mum hadn't seen it so as well as giving a chance to show off her new telly it was another thing for us all to do. I then played a little NHL 07 with my bro before walking home. I was kinda tired but plonked myself down infront of the telly and found myself watching Pretty Woman again. Still an entertaining film and I think my favourite outfit that she wears in the film is the light brown, polka dot dress to the Polo match.
Wednesday was the beginning of the slide into vampire time, ie going to bed later and getting up later which if continued would probably result in me getting up in the evening and going to sleep in the morning. I decided to take a look at Rainbow Six: Vegas and it's very good. The graphics, guns and sounds are all spot on and the casino levels are wicked. I also decided to watch Into the Night, which I'd bought for myself. It's a little known film with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer that I remember catching years ago. It's not a hugely important movie but it reminds me of those times when you just happen to catch an unknown film on TV that surprises and delights.
Started to cook a Spag bol and then bro called requesting a pick up. I was clean but seriously if I'm lazing around the house I'm hardly going to wear my best clobber. All I needed to do was get to the car, pick him up and then return to the flat. Not really worth making an effort was it. Sod it I thought and just grabbed my cars and headed to the car. As I was locking the front door I could hear someone coming down the communal stairs. Jesus Christ! I started to panic and rush the locking of the door. I hadn't bothered fixing my hair, having a shave or changing out of my 'comfort' clothes and thus for the few minutes that I was going to be out of the flat wasn't ready to be observed by anyone. I bolted for the front door just as the young couple, and particularly the attractive girl in that couple, turned the corner and kinda clocked me. Once outside the door I attempted to run down the pathway with sandals on my feet and drawstring free tracksuit bottoms which started to slide down my legs meaning I had to grab them with one hand as I ran. As the path took a right angle and sloped down to the pavement I looked back to see the couple had come out and the girl was staring right at me. Blimey, I make a quick bolt out on a mercy mission pick up and I get spotted. The car's central locking earnt it's keep as I clambered into the car to avoid further embarrasement.
The spag was excellent as usual and we attempted to watch OHMSS on DVD but my bro became pre-occupied with texting and then receiving a call from some girl. Good on him. Thursday was much of the same, especially as the lay in's became more glorious and I got more into my game. I think I work hard enough through the year so I felt no guilt at the lethargy in most of those days. Hooked up with M that night and along with bro hit Pizza Hut and the cinema. There wasn't much out, especially with Rocky Balboa not out until 19th January, so we decided to try Flags of our Fathers. It was a war film and directed by Clint Eastwood, so assumed it couldn't be all bad. We were mistaken for it was very poor. It was slow, confusing, jumbled and had more flashbacks than you could shake a stick at. Characters were talked about though you were unsure initially who they were, the action scenes weren't that inspiring, the soundtrack was intrusive to the point of forewarning you that another drawn out scene was commencing when the slow guitar or piano faded in. The Indian character kept getting these lines said of him like 'and then he was never seen again' only to then turn up in the next scene. It also introduced half way through with little or no explanation how the story was being researched by one of the flag raisers sons and had this cheesy scene at the end where the guy apologises for being a poor father. To be honest the film made about as much sense as my review of it does. Very poor, so poor that we even considered walking out before the end.
Started reading a book the next day that I'd bought ages ago called Autumn. It wasn't about seasons but rather an apocalyptic tale about a lethal virus wiping out about 95% of the worlds population. It wasn't bad. The authors style of writing felt a little rushed and not as descriptive as I would have liked. The subject matter was good enough but I couldn't engage with the mercurial characters or really picture the scenes that he was trying to build. I think my imagination and enjoyment of these type of stories was responsible for giving it any real resonance. Watched another Bond film that was on the TV. Licence to Kill. I liked where Timothy Dalton tries to take the Bond character and it does contain one of my favourite Bond girls who is probably one of the best examples of short hair looking great on a woman. Carey Lowell is wonderful and when she is in her high neck, glittery evening dress and slicked, neat, short hair she is utterly stunning. The whole look is truly sensational and up there with Barbara Bach's high split leg dress in The Spy Who Loved Me. The film also contains what must be the geekiest in-joke which is when Sanchez (the bad guy) is shooting at Bond on the truck and the bullets that richochet off the metal play out the Bond theme. God what a Bond nerd!
Finished my zombie book in the early hours of the next morning and that's what I really like about having this much time off. If I want to stay up ridiculously late (4.00am in this case) then I can, regardless of the consequences. With no dependants to worry about I can lie in for as long as my body needs and the next morning I truly did. I still wrestled with my conscious that I should get up before 11.30 and do something with the day though. I did get up, made a cup of tea and recommenced Rainbow Six. There's something about the casinos and exterior scenes that really does capture the atmosphere of Vegas. I'm not sure what it is but when I'm in the chopper flying around I can't help but to be scanning around to look at the city. The architecture and design of some of the imagined casino's are as good and intriguing as some of the real ones that I've seen. The vibrant colours, the sounds of the slot machines, the different bars and restaurants, even the music playing in the hotel atriums is spot on and oh so cool. The casinos look so great that I wish they were real so I could go and walk round them. After about five hours of continuous play I broke for an early dinner, the chance for the xbox to cool down and a gloriously long, ridiculously hot bath.
Headed up to M's as I wasn't going to see him on New Years Eve and we decided to see if Blackheath had improved. It seemed everywhere else, or at least the perceived mood, was that everyone else was having a whale of a time in the intervening days. Unfortunately it was still like Xmas Eve and we weren't sure whether it was due to the older, wealthier person that Blackheath attracts were either sitting depressed at home, with their respective partners or had jetted abroad. Whatever it was, the town was dead and we consoled ourselves with a trip to the drive through KFC and back to M's place to consume and discuss.
As I drove home I popped on the radio and did a quick flick through the stations. It was 1.15ish and without realising it I'd stumbled onto another A State of Trance, as I had a week previously. It was basically his 2006 year mix where he'd crammed over 80 of the year's trance tracks into a two hour mix. It truly rocked and after filling up the car with petrol I decided to cruise around enjoying it. The roads were practically empty and I thought there was a certain poignancy of driving around in the early hours of the final day of the year listening to a mix of tunes by a guy who figured very heavily in 2006. Armin was certainly the stand out person for me with regards to music this year and this felt a good way to celebrate that. As I drove around enjoying the music and freedom it took me back to the times I used to do it when younger and in particular to a night in 1994 when I was leant a DJ mix tape that I must have driven around for about four hours re-listening to. It was the first time I'd heard music that new and fresh.
Anyway I was thinking that although this Christmas the dagger of loneliness and lack of companionship had stabbed me a couple of times, as I'm sure it has others, it's times like this when having no commitments is a major plus. Ok I could still drive around if I had a partner but in reality I wouldn't. I'd either be making sweet love all night long or fretting over our last argument. To be honest the latter could mean I was out driving but I doubt I'd be listening to uplifting trance in that situation! I know life isn't judged by the amount of times you could just drive around in your car listening to some great tunes but in the absence of a companion, regular sex and someone to hold it works for me.
When the set ended at 3.00 am and I got in I couldn't sleep. Whether this was down to the red bulls I'd drunk that night, the fact that the music had my heart pumping or simply that my body clock was resetting itself later and later I don't know. Whilst I lay in bed listening to my nano I found myself thinking about winning the lottery. My mind normally turns to this and the holidays that I could go on but this night it turned to something more constructive. I decided that if I won I would want to give something back to the scene that had given me so much pleasure by arranging free dance events featuring my favourite DJ's. This evolved into me jetting over to China to get them to make 10,000 copies of my spangly shirt. People would then buy one of my shirts for a nominal cost to demonstrate committment and then wearing the shirt would give them free entry to the dance events. Maybe there'd also be some free drinks and maybe help with national travel costs if they could demonstrate that they had actually looked at my site.
Something about this idea got me really excited and I couldn't stop thinking of different ideas and way to arrange it. I'd speak to the Tidy Boys for their knowledge of arranging things like the tidy weekenders and maybe start small in a club like Heaven before rolling it out to larger events for 5 - 10,000 clubbers. Advertising could be done on harderfaster.net, dontstayin and the tidy board. Maybe I could turn my site into a brand and shorten it to a more corporate PBN.com for the arranging side of things. As they would be my nights then they could be a blank canvas for me. The wearing of the shirts would be a demonstration of how much the shirt had affected my nights out, never mind how damn cool a heaving dancefloor of those shirts would look when the lights were shining onto it. We could also decorate the club with the posters that M did for the two tidy weekenders that we went to (Club 18-32 and Burt's Tour). DJ's that I'd want would be Armin naturally, Sean Tyas, The Tidy Boys, Lee Haslam, Guyver, Steve Hill and Proteus. I know it's a silly pipe dream but it was great to turn my mind to something more constructive that I could achieve with a lottery win.
Forced myself out to the shops on New Years Eve for some bits from Sainsburys and also a chance to look round the shops. Played some more Rainbow Six and then knocked up a nice big meal for bro and I before we headed out later to see in the New Year. I'd got some tickets for a local club though after the previous poor nights we'd had decided to drive rather than get hammered so we had an exit strategy. It wasn't a bad night. There were lots of people out and plenty of pretty girls to look at. I wore my red 'potential sex addict' t-shirt which did seem to get a load of attention including one partnered up girl who asked to take a photograph of the front and back. The music wasn't quite gelling and only seemed to get going right after 12.00 by which time I think we'd lost our edge. We gave it a go and boogied for another 1/2 hour but the smokiness of the upstairs rooms was making our eyes water. I guess you could say that it's an indication of me getting older when I'm grumbling about the smoke but even my bro said it was causing discomfort. We finished the night back at base with a large glass of mint baileys over ice and toasted in the new year.
All white on the night - 24/12/06
With the run up to Christmas things naturally slowed down in the office. I was keen to get my journal as up to date as possible as well as incorporate some slight changes and new additions to it's format. Nothing too drastic mind you but I wanted to add a section to show my external reviews and also one where I could answer a selection of random questions that came from a gift that one of my work colleagues received. I also tried to answer emails etc.
Thursday night was going to be a biggish night out for the work boys as we'd bought tickets to an organised event called the Snoweyball. Somewhere on the site it had mentioned wearing some form of white clothing, well our interpretation of it was that, and thus those that were going looked to securing something white. Whilst my brother went for a cracking cream/white jacket with black trousers and shirt and best mate went for a full white trousers, shirt, waist coat and jacket I decided to dust off the white spangly shirt with a pair of borrowed white linen trousers. For a ticket price of £85.00 the night promised a selection of hot buffet food plus unlimited beer, wine and soft drinks, dodgems and a DJ. I was a little cynical about the free bar and we managed to secure confirmation that I would be able to take in a bottle of Archers as I don't drink beer or wine.
Thursday came and I seemed to drive into work with a car load of crap. We'd been given various gifts from our suppliers and decided to resolve their distribution between the staff with a competitive game of knockout garden size Jenga. We started with six and unfortunately my female boss was first out. Next was a mammoth game that lasted for a good hour and a half and basically came to the very last brick that could be genuinely removed as all others were supporting and would have caused an immediate collapse. This final brick was dug in like an Alabama tick and fate decreed that it happened to be on my go. I tried to ease it out but it brought the whole thing down. I was gutted. I consider myself quite good at Jenga and thought this was one of the office competitions that I might actually excel at. The others were gracious in saying I was only beaten by the numbers thing in having to pull out the last one but I still lost. Raced over to the off license to get two bottles of Archers and at around 5.00ish headed up to my mates to get ready for the night out.
A quick shower and into my clobber. A colleague had also given me a christmas card with this thin metal christmas tree and a bell in the middle of it. I tugged this off the card and wore one round my neck and another round my wrist to fully embrace the christmas spirit and add a little cheap bling to the proceedings. We cabbed it to the venue and first impressions were good. There were a lot of guys in tuxedos and girls in party frocks. Virtually no one else was wearing white but I didn't care as it simply meant I stood out more. We hit the booze and I could feel it beginning to slowly take effect. The buffet food was served and was split into three different sections. Italian, Indian and British. At £85 a ticket I was determined to hit all three and get my money's worth of food. It was ok and certainly filling though it did curtail my efforts to get drunk as it quickly soaked up the Archers in my stomach. The DJ then started and quite a few people hit the dance floor but there was something missing. There wasn't the frisson of excitement on the dancefloor that you might normally expect at a club and everyone seemed to content to remain in their little groups. I don't know if because most people had got their companies to pay for the ticket as opposed to themselves, they weren't as motivated to enjoy themselves but something wasn't quite right.
Being in work groups you couldn't tell if people were coupled up, looking out for each other or just waiting to use their yearly chance to get off with the girl from accounts. There was a lovely looking woman there who did intentionally look over on more than one occasion when everyone was having pre dinner drinks. Again though she was with a gaggle of guys, one of which I think was her partner but wasn't sure. Bro and I both felt the strangeness in the atmosphere and unable or unwilling anymore to get drunk hit the dodgems for a few goes. Unbeknown to me the guys I was with had printed off a load of paynebyname.com stickers and were literally plastering them everywhere. Bottles, mirrors, tables, walls, dodgem cars etc. The first time I noticed them was when I went to the toilet and one was on the back of the toilet door. I headed back to the dancefloor area and somehow got chatting to this guy called Dave. Somehow we got talking about Alan Partridge and then The Day Today, which he knew all about. Our appreciation and knowledge of the same bits was spookily similar and we had a real laugh recollecting some of the funnier scenes. Even though we only chatted for about 15 minutes we got on really well and as we wished each other a merry christmas I thought I'd give him a card.
Fear not, my despair at not finding a honey isn't leading me up the garden path of homo love, but as we made such a comical connection and shared similar cynical opinions, I thought he might appreciate or at least understand the ramblings of my site. As I handed him the card he commented how he'd seen it plastered all over the venue and took some convincing that it wasn't of my doing. The event finished at 12.30 and at around 12.15 we decided to head off to an exclusive nightclub called The Embassy Rooms. It's just off Regent Street and as one of our party is a black Amex card holder he had pre-arranged our entrance through Amex. We would never have got in without the status that it brings.
I don't know if it was because we were moving onto somewhere new, the fact that I'd stand out even more or simply the fresh air but on leaving the place I began to feel more pissed. We'd finished one bottle of Archers and had about two thirds left in the other bottle which I brought with me for the journey. Managed to secure two cabs and after my mate had slapped a paynebyname sticker on the windscreen we headed off. We knew we wouldn't be able to take the bottle into the club so I started to pass it round to the four occupants. Christ it was hard to take down neat without a mixer. The first glug tasted of peach, the second pure sugar and the third was almost gag inducing. Thankfully you could then pass it to the next chap and the desire to chunder had passed by the time it came back round. My confidence and excitement was really beginning to bubble and as I didn't have a coat, I'd pressed on the hat we'd taken along as a laugh onto my head to retain some heat. I must have looked a sight. All in white with a sparkly shirt and a small brown, corduroy Trilby at a slight angle on my head. I breezed into the club not even aware of the concept that we might be refused admission and joined my friend at the bar. I immediately started chatting to this black girl who was impressed by my shirt. I thanked her and then noticed that the guy she was with looked uncannily like David Boreanaz, aka Angel. It was amazing and I seemed to come over all star struck telling him how much he looked like him. He was very kind and didn't seem to get the arse, I think my sincerity comes through better when I'm pissed. I called over my bro and without any provocation asked him who he thought this guy looked like. Straight away he said Angel and I think even the guy was impressed. I shook his hand and wished him a merry christmas.
We attempted a few drinks upstairs. Well to be honest the others played some drinking games and I chatted aimlessly to anyone who commented on my shirt. A quick scout around revealed that there was in fact a dance floor downstairs which I was keen to hit ASAP. Dragged everyone downstairs and began to boogie. I was amazed that in such a trendy nightclub (admission was £20 and the average three drink round about £25-30) that people were responding so favourably to the shirt and hat. Whether it looked like I was trying to be cool I don't know but I felt awesome. In this garb I stood and being the tart I am, it was nice to be noticed. I started chatting to these two sisters who seemed very sweet. Christina and Beth. I bust a couple of moves with them in a fun but non heavy manner and did my best to make the older one, Christina, smile. At one point Dirty by Miss Aguilera came on and I started to grind it out. I don't know whether I bumped her over or she tripped but poor old Beth stumbled over the steps and onto her bum. To her credit and my respect she didn't make a fuss and simply laughed it off. She was quite cute and reminded me in a way of the main girl in the Wedding Crashers, though her hair was a little curlier. I asked them both if they wanted a drink but they both declined, which I was also impressed with meaning that they weren't being friendly simply to extort a drink out of me.
Everyone continued to have a laugh and at one point I headed back upstairs to hook up with two of the crew. I remember getting introduced to a guy who apparently ran an agency of glamour models. I started to talk to him about the lack of sexiness in modern porn and he started to invite me to some glamour model party but I got dragged away to return to the dancefloor and didn't get a chance to finish up with him. At the time I didn't care but needless to say kicked myself the next day for not literally dropping everything at the mention of a glamour model party. Carried on dancing and as the night drew to a close Christina asked for my hat. Normally I'd never give away things but they'd both been so nice and made me feel so good that I could keep them both entertained that it was the least I could do. Hence I gave Christina the hat and Beth the jingle bell necklace from my neck. I also told them about my website and gave them a card. They promised me they would look at it although I seemed to get very embarrased about having told them about it and as the lights came up we wished each other a Merry Christmas. Waiting outside for a cab I got chatting to another couple. Why can't I have this courage/bravado when sober? We talked about how they were spending Christmas Day apart at respective family do's and then getting back together Boxing Day. I told them I thought this was great and how a loving couple should do these things. They smiled at me quite sweetly and I almost got the impression that having someone else say it vindicated what they were doing.
We talked about respective Christmas presents, how they met, where the guy came from which was Beckenham we we duly talked about and even moved onto chatting about Planet Earth! Our cab arrived and I wished them a great one before speeding back to my mates apartment. I was hyper but not hugely pissed and after a cup of tea attempted to grab a couple of hours sleep on my mates bedroom floor. Man, I couldn't believe the repeated success of the spangly shirt. It only cost me £10 from TK Maxx yet I've never worn an item of clothing that has generated so much interest or started so many conversations. It's just such a shame that with the more times I wear it and then gingerly wash it the more silver circles fall off and the more it degrades. It's only got a limited shelf life and fewer occasions that I can wear it out but it certainly isn't going to go out whimpering away tucked in a far corner of a wardrobe.
After about three hours on the floor with a pillow and sleeping bag it was time to get up again. Showered and into the office for 8.30am. I was with one of the directors but neither of us wanted to take the piss out of P and hence why we insured we were there before time. Needless to say it wasn't a busy day but some morning tea and a sausage and egg sandwich from the local cafe certainly helped. The other guys continued their Jenga match which was now down to three and I trawled the internet. By looking on ign.com I first saw a trailer for the new Die Hard which looks pretty good but even more impressive was the trailer for the Transformers movie. I was never really into the cartoons as a kid. I always liked the idea but I seemed to miss the cartoons on TV and never got the toys. I remembered seeing the teaser trailer for this a few months ago which cleverly used the notion of the Mars Beagle landing that went missing relating to the coming of the Transformers and showed a quick shot of a transformer stamping down on the probe. This longer, action packed trailer was something else. I must have watched it a good four or five times and everyone in the office stopped to check it out and agreed it was pretty cool.
What impressed me the most was the lack of music and the reluctance to show anything too spectacular. I'm not meaning that it didn't look impressive. Some of the robots look awesome and it looks like they are prepared to kill people which always adds a certain seriousness. I mean that it didn't give away too many action scenes. This may well be because it isn't out until 4th July 2007 and hence they still have loads of post production to do but it's certainly done enough to get me hugely 'jacked up' for it's arrival. I have my doubts because it's directed by Michael Bay. He can do exhilerating action scenes but sometimes can't deliver the meaty stuff. Maybe if I remember Bad Boys I and 2 and forget Pearl Harbour it will help. If you want to check out what I'm gibbering on about you can check it all out on www.transformersmovie.com
We had a selection of nibbles for lunch, cocktail sausages, quiche etc and began to respectively drift off home in the afternoon. I didn't have much planned that night so carried on mooching round the web and tidying up some final work related bits and pieces. Headed home, stopping to grab a DVD and some outstanding fish'n'chips from my local. They were great and the film we got, Crank, was entertaining. Ok it was no prize winner but it was fun, violent and in a way quite inventive. Come 11.00pm though and I was totally shattered and finding it hard to keep my eyes open. Gratefully hit the sack and slept for a solid twelve hours before heading over to P's with a bag full of videos, DVD's and my old Xbox to keep her entertained over Chrimbo. I've gone on never endingly to her about Halo and like a good 'un she even read the first book which she claims to have enjoyed. She's never played a computer game before but I love sharing things with people and getting them to experience what it is I like about certain things. Hence she'd agreed that she would try playing it though she wasn't confident about how easy she would pick ut up.
I cooked us up a bacon and egg sarnie while my brother set it all up in with the leads etc. She started playing and although tentative and a little shaky she did well to slowly pick up the controls. I wasn't sure how much she was playing it because I'd brow-beaten her or that she wanted to see what all the fuss was about but she was getting the hang of it and doing her fair share of shooting and killing. After a good few hours we left her to it and headed home. M was out so bro and I decided to check out a nightclub in Rochester called the Casino Rooms. Amadeus is in Rochester and caters for a younger audience and this was supposed to have a slightly older clientele. After eventually parking up we joined the queue and listened to a couple of right old 40 something slappers gassing about something behind us. Dyed hair, way too much jewellery, too low cut a top and a whiny old voice. Christ, if this is what the other occupants are like then we considered blowing out the whole evening.
Bro was meeting a work colleague inside so we perservered and eventually got in. The receptionist was a right morose looking cow who then completely out of character asked that I come back later so she could photograph my 'Potential Sex Addict' t-shirt as she thought it so funny. The club was split over three rooms which I wasn't initially aware of and the first room we entered was about 10% full and looked like the worst working mans social club you could imagine. God, what mistake had we made on the supposedly 'sweet' Saturday just before Christmas. We moved to another room where there were some real ropey old munters. This might make me sound nasty and I know I'm no adonis but blimey some of these women were rough. We ventured upstairs to the large R'n'B room which was well populated but stank of musky, stale body odour. We stayed for a few more hours in the hope that there might be a ray of sunshine but there wasn't and we left. What a waste of a perfectly good Saturday night and we consoled ourselves with a drive over to Thurrock for a late night McDonalds.
Christmas Eve and I was off to my hairdressers as I always do every Christmas. I scoffed down some of the obligatory sausage rolls and cocktail sausages that they always make and bring in and had a good chat with them both. They are great and I love the way they spend Christmas Day and New Years Eve together, just the two of them. If you are married and in love then each others company should always be good enough and they are living proof of this. I always feel for my hairdresser aswell because his birthday is also on Christmas Day. Sharing it with the son of god isn't bad but it must impact on your one special day of the year mustn't it?
Headed up to M's later that evening with bro and set up the 360 to show him Gears of War and Call of Duty 3. The cover system in GOW took a little time to get used to but I think he enjoyed it. After this we moved onto Cave Austin in Blackheath. I'd had my fears of the night at the ridiculously cheap ticket price and these were born out when we drove into the almost deserted village and managed to park round the corner, which is virtually unheard of. Not another crap night, please. Cave Austin was virtually empty. There must have been about 40 people in there. We headed downstairs and attempted to have a laugh but to no avail. Thank god I'd driven and that we hadn't planned a huge bender with cab's etc. We hung on until 12.30 and then decided to leave. I don't know if it's because Blackheath attracts a slightly older crowd and most of them are coupled up on Christmas Eve or that everyone had gone abroad but it had to be one of the worst Christmas Eve's I've ever had. I've always loved them more than New Years Eve as it's just the start of the holiday and normally there is this great atmosphere but either Blackheath doesn't 'kick it' this time of year or the longer weekend had simply blown everyone out. Either way we settled for a cup of tea at my mates and bro and I bemoaned our fate on the drive home. Oh well, you win, you lose some.
Two good reviews - 18/12/06
As like last week Monday was a relaxing one. I should maybe have gone to the shops to buy pressies and cards but to be honest the advantage of having a small circle of friends and family is that I don't really need to send or buy a great deal. Once you've bought a 20 or 30 pack of cards I can normally get use out of them for a good few years! I like Christmas. It's a chance to feel that I can truly take it easy, though I have been doing this over the last two weekends haven't I. I think it's because everyone else is working when I'm normally off, yet during Xmas we are all off. People say it's too expensive and over commercialised. Maybe it is but with only three or four to buy pressies for I never feel it is. I still look forward to the notion of the family being together on Christmas Day and enjoy the atmosphere than you can normally find in the clubs on Christmas Eve. This year it falls on a Sunday which is going to make for a funny night and weekend prior to it.
Christmas is normally always the same for me and I'm comfortable with that familiarity. Xmas day is at my Aunt's in Bromley with all the family, Boxing day is round my mums with my bro for a big dinner and the remaining days normally involve excessive consumption of soft drink, snacks and increasingly later bed times and later waking ups.
Anyway I managed to complete Call of Duty 3 which was good. One of the final levels is this crossroads where you are attacked by wave after wave of German soldiers while you scramble between two buildings for cover. A great level and contains everything in it that makes COD 3 a very good game. Watched a few more episodes of Angel and then quickly played the first level of Halo on the easy setting to gauge whether P would be able to do it. I understand how problematic it might be for her if she has never played it before but on the easy setting it is very hard to be killed so hopefully she'll be able to enjoy it. After watching the Gears of War video I had to watch the Bungie one again. It's more involving and better put together than the gears one and with Halo 2, Bungie were the first to introduce the concept of special editions in games. The one they have promised for Halo 3 sounds like it will be amazing.
Back in the office and it was time for my work review. We went to a restaurant called the Eagle bar diner and as the name suggests it served American food. I'm a simple man who loves simple food so a double 6 ounce burger with monterray jack cheese, bacon and a fried egg with some skinny fries really hit the spot for me. I also had a banana shake which was fabulous. The review went well. I didn't really have any reason to think it wouldn't but I'm close friends with both my bosses and I didn't want to be complacent or arrogant and assume that it would be a walk in the park. The general feedback was that I didn't have enough confidence in my abilities but I put this down that I'd rather appear to be like that rather than come across as cocksure. Also to be fair I never place much weight in doing what I think is normal ie answering the phone, dealing with queries etc as they are the norms of any employee. I kindly received a pay rise and a generous bonus which was really good of them, especially as we'd only just got back from
Discovered later in the eveing that my website had been reviewed and reasonably favourably. The best thing was that the reviewer had actually taken the time to read my site before commenting. He said in some parts it was a little long and I'm aware of that but the killer line for me was "One things for sure - Payne by Name is very distinctive and gives a genuine insight into the authors inner-workings and lifestyle". The latter part to me is what a blog should truly be, ie letting people know who I am and the fact that he thought it differs from the norm is even better. I'm going to set up a section on here of external reviews so you can read it and also what the other two said. It's interesting how this review was British and how maybe my humour or style or writing is understood better by Brits. I think most Americans (bar Amy) sometimes don't get where I'm coming from.
I'd swapped keys with P this night so I could lock stuff up in the safe and had stayed later to work on my site. I stopped writing about 12.30am and at that point remembered that the keys to the padlock for the gate to the yard were now with P. Aaarrrggghhh. It was too late to call anyone and to be honest I didn't want to make an arse of myself. The yard provides access to quite a few businesses in the arches so it wasn't a case of me simply locking up and then unlocking the next morning. I locked up the office and then took one of the padlocks from the main door to use on the gate. Trouble was that if anyone from the other companies in the arches turned up early in the morning they wouldn't be able to get in. It was about 1.30am when I was driving home and I had a moment of clarity. There was no point in sleeping in my bed and getting up again at 5.00 to come back to the office. I'd never be able to sleep for fear that I was screwing someone else's plans up and imagined I'd be constantly looking at the clock as I drove in. Therefore I decided to get indoors, jump in the bath, get changed, grab a sleeping bag and come back to the office.
Man has slept in caves before and sleeping on the floor when pissed is acceptable so in reality this wasn't that silly. I'd screwed up and I didn't want anything happening to the arch on my watch or when I'd done something wrong. Someone had strolled into the office when we were on our review enquiring about how to rent an arch and my colleagues believed that the guy could have been scoping the arch out. This provided even more reason for me wanting to be here. I set the radiator on full and laid out some flat packed carboard boxes on the floor. I lay on this fully clothed with my sleeping bag over the top. Alarm was set and I didn't expect a full glorious nights kip but I know my body is pretty resilient so was confident that if I could make it through the dozy hour the next day, whenever that came, that I would be fine. The printer shit me up at one point when it went through it's random self test and I decided that it might be better dozing in the chair. I wouldn't say that I slept but I grabbed a few hours and at least the office was safe and there was no complications with people not being able to get into the yard.
Wednesday was a little tough getting through the tiredness but plenty of tea helped and by the afternoon it was just like normal. We were out with our clients again on Thursday for a christmas lunch. They had wanted to go to this incredibly expensive restaurant. I was looking forward to it and assumed that being that expensive the food would be next gen. It was ok but it certainly wasn't worth what we paid for it, which was over £500 for the seven of us. What was cheeky was that they also charged a £9 cover charge in addition to the tip. I wouldn't be able to have the meal if I didn't sit at the table so why charge for the chairs? I had a meaty pasta bolognaise type dish to start which was nice but the fillet steak I had was as dry as anything. It almost tasted like liver it was so dry and was crying out for some kind of sauce. Nice to chat with the clients though. It's always good to see them out of the working environment where you can chat a little more freely.
It was the last ASOT of the year that night and it was a little disappointing if I'm honest. Armin's been really good for the year but I wished he ended stronger. There will be another one next Thursday of people's favourite tracks of the year but I'm out at a Christmas party that night. It's got an all white theme so I'll be dusting off the sparkly shirt for maybe one last trip (I mean the one from my gallery).
We decided to have a hot lunch on the Friday and I suggested fish 'n' chips instead of the normal KFC or McDonalds. M and I headed round to the chippy just off the
P bought an inflatable punch bag with a water filled base for us to release client fuelled tension on and using it proved entertaining, especially when I tried to re-create the 'You want me to show you tough' moves. We also got a Christmas tree for the office. Bravo to P for pushing for this and M for going to get it. If she didn't we wouldn't have one and at least it makes the office look Christmasy. She decorated it later than night and it's quite a sweet thing. Not much else happened that night as I stayed late in the office.
Hit the shops Saturday afternoon which thankfully and surprisingly weren't as rammed as I'd though they might be. I was looking to see if TK Maxx or any other shops had any white clothing for this party next week. Unfortunately they didn't and it looks like I'll be wearing a pair of white jeans on my bottom half. This would be ok if they weren't a 32' waist meaning that I can wear them but I can only do the zip up halfway and certainly not the top button. With a belt on and an untucked shirt it should be ok unless anyone goes exploring there, but lets face it, thats unlikely to happen. Picked up some food and also bro from work. Cooked up a stonkingly good spag bol and watched a couple of DVD's.
The break up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston is really good. It doesn't take sides particular and I'm glad they chose the slightly more courageous ending of them not getting back together. It was funny in many places but also quite touching when they realised that the writing was on the wall of their relationship. I guess I've not really had that. Should I be grateful? The opening scene shows a montage of their relationship photos together and it reminded me that I don't have any of those kind of images. No holiday photo's of me kissing my girlfriend on a beach, no images of being in a crazy gang of couples or even of having a christmas hug infront of the tree. The next film was the Road to Perdition which despite having Jude Law in it I had wanted to see for some time. I forgot though that it was Sam Mendes who'd directed it. Man it was just so long and self indulgent. Bro and I gave it an hour yet still hadn't engaged with the characters and Tom Hanks had said virtually nothing. All it seemed to be was this ponderous piece that played a little chime of piano chords while the camera remained on a characters face for just too long. I guess it was like American Beauty, which I've never understood everyone's fascination with, in being very predictable and very boring. We switched it off after an hour in pure frustration. Watched a little more Angel to remove the memory of the film before eventually turning in for bed.
Sunday was fairly routine though I did decide to come into the office to get the journal entries completely up to date. I want to add that external review section plus another one where I post a random question and then answer it. P got a load of them recently and the questions look fairly fascinating. What with this and a few other rants I've been thinking off and also being out next Thursday and probably getting bits ready on the Wednesday night I wanted to make sure I'd got this nailed down. The review said I should be more focussed but the rambling is what makes the journals so I couldn't rush those could I?
Talk soon.
Living for the now has it's Up's and Down's - 11/12/06
Needless to say Monday turned out to be pretty much of the same. A lazy lay in and some more Call of Duty. Through my sound set up the battles are amazing. You've got shouts coming from all angles, bullets seemingly whizzing overhead, random ground shaking explosions, comrades tumbling over in sprays of blood and it's all you can do to stop yourself moving your head left and right to dodge the debris or calling out to others to "get down". Excellent entertainment.
I've also been catching up on the first season of Angel. It was a such a great series. For me it dipped during seasons 3 and 4 but this first one is so good. The writing, the subtleties, the music, the fighting is first rate. I really liked Doyle and his character and it's a shame when he dies but his effectrive replacement Wesley has to be one of my favourite ever characters. Seeing him evolve from this bumbling 'rogue demon hunter' into what he becomes is really cool. The episode where Angel and Buffy get it together when Angel is made mortal is very touching and so well played, especially by Sarah Michelle Gellar when she is crying at the end and begging for more time with Angel. Knowing how much I enjoy the fifth and final series, it's interesting to see the series beginnings again. The introduction of Gunn, Darla, Lindsey and all the others. A first rate series and I'm already looking forward to borrowing the fifth series off him again.
Back into work on the Tuesday and discovered that a new trailer for Halo 3 had been released. It didn't feature in game footage and had been produced by Digital Domain but the material had been supplied by Bungie and there were some clues as to what things we might see. Perfect trailer really, didn't give anything anyway but just helped to hugely stoke the fires of anticipation for what I'm hoping will be an awesome game. Most of my colleagues aren't into it but I like to keep them involved. They all saw the very first trailer when it came out earlier this year and knowing how damn excited I will be by the time it comes out next year I want to share it with them. The sharing has generated some results as my female boss, P, has decided to give the first Halo novel a go. This being in anticipation of my bro and I heading round hers to set up the xbox and leave her to play the first Halo game. She's a little concerned that never having played a computer game before that she will be unco-ordinated and become frustrated. We are trying to think of an easy game she can play that will get her 'eye' in before she gets to play one of the greatest games ever made. I admire her for having the enthusiasm to attempt it. So many people get stuck in their ways and won't try fresh things but a grown woman in her late 30's preparing to try console games for the first times certainly impresses me.
Brought the remains of the spag bol that I'd cooked at the weekend into the office on Wednesday. Unfortunately a late night at the office the night before meant I didn't know when I'd get to eat it and as there was so much thought it would be something different. I heated it up in the microwave and drizzled over a hot jacket potato it went down very well. Stayed late again in the office as I tried to break the back of the Barcelona trip report.
Thursday was my last day in the office again before another long weekend and it was mainly spent signing our company Christmas cards. We went for a slightly more comical approach this year with a card that had a pop out Santa beard that could be worn by the recipient. I liked the fact that it was different and quite cool. ASOT was quite poor tonight and I managed to get Thursday of the trip report down onto the site. I also submitted my website for review with a british blog review site www.soapboxjury.blogspot.com . Bearing in mind my reaction to the other two reviews I'd received P was worried that I was asking for another caning but sometimes you have to keep trying don't you and hope that someone understands what you are trying to say. I read some of the other reviews and unlike some others that try to play to the crowd with an assortments of expletives and put downs these people did actually look like they would read the site before commenting on it. We'll see. Hit Sainsburys again that night for some supplies and decided to get some alcopops for myself and some corona (with the limes as well) for my bro as he's discovered a taste for them. He was going to be off work this weekend and I imagined it would be a Gears of War fest.
Bro came up on the Friday and I rustled us up the mother of all bacon sandwiches. Two freshly oven baked baguettes loaded with five rashers of juicy baon and a fried egg. We discussed what we would do that day and talk turned to Gears of War. We'd both really enjoyed our little taster of co-operative play a few weeks back and were looking forward to some more. The only downside was playing it split screen. The graphics and scenes are so great to look at that seeing only half the screen was a pain. Never mind though and I suggested we start playing. What about if we got an Xbox 360 now instead of waiting until Christmas my bro said. Now that's living for the moment. It would make sense, we were both off for three days and he was intending in getting one for chrimbo anyway. It's that spur of the moment madness that I love. We quickly phoned round a couple of shops to find what the best deal was on a premium 360 bundle with Gears of War (you need two copies of the game if you are going to play system link up). Virgin was coming in the cheapest at £299.00 all in so we raced up to Bluewater. He bought the bundle and I gave him a healthy contribution to him for it. The contribution is meant to be his Christmas present but we both know I'll still be buying him some other bits and bobs. We also hit John Lewis to pick up a Cat 5 ethernet cable. This cable would allow us to connect the two consoles up so we could play the same game but on different machines and TV's.
Headed home and nervously set it up. I say nervously because although you have high hopes that it will all work well you are never sure. I had been thinking the previous night how technically the headset controller should work on system link. I mean if it works when you are playing on the internet then why not when you are playing in different rooms through the cable. This could really make or break it to be honest. Playing in two different rooms would be great but if we couldn't hear each other with shouts of "I'll take the left side" or "Get that mofo up on the right" then it would kinda fall down. I'd never heard anyone talk about system link headset usage before on any chat room or anything so although technically it should work neither of us were sure it would. We hooked up the 10 metre cable, running it under the two doors and placing a Gears of War poster over the cable in the hallway so we didn't trip over it. We loaded up our respective game, put on the headsets and nothing. Ok, no panic, let's have a look around. I selected hosting a co-op game and still he couldn't see me. I started up the game and bingo he was in. What was even better was that I could hear him in my ear through the headset. How fucking cool is that. Maybe I'm being a geek but if you are going to play a game together then this is the way. We got ourselves settled with drinks etc in our respective rooms and off we went. Man it was weird. His character (Dom) was on screen and moving around if I asked him to. He could see the same stuff as me but naturally from a slightly different angle, we could both enjoy the whole screen experience and our own sound. Wow. This is the kind of co-op playing I'd always wanted. I love sharing stuff and this way we got our own experience but were playing together. What was equally mad was that the headset connects to the controllers which are wireless so you can effectively move around without fear of kicking out the lead etc.
Needless to say the game is great. Graphically it is just so rich and textured and the gun battles take on a real gritty visceral feel. The effects of flanking the enemy and needing a resucitation if wounded are increased ten fold when playing co-op system link. To see my bro's character independantly flanking on my screen as I cover him is the dogs nuts, it really is. If this is next-gen gaming then I am loving it.
Started Saturday which a huge brunch of sausages, eggs, bacon, mushrooms, beans, toast and tea. Gaming folk need this kind of sustenance. We then got right back into the game. Some might regard as an awful waste of time but frankly I don't care. It's like playing a 10 hour movie and who doesn't like action and stimulation. We aren't complete nerds though and decided we would head out that night. Sean Tyas was playing in London and I was tempted to go but as he wasn't on until 4.30am at this club, thought it could be a waste of time. Before that bro and I wanted to at least look at some pretty girls. We weren't going to go on the lash and decided to head up to the local town to a bar we knew there. There were some nice girls there and we started talking about women and shoes. There were a bunch of five girls at the bar yet only one of them had a decent pair of shoes. It's funny how so many women think they are experts on shoes but yet can so badly mis co-ordinate them. One girl had black leggings and a backless black dress. The look might have been ok if she hadn't been wearing these hideous torquoise shoes that were elaborately tied up with ribbon round her ankles. Another had those loose boots that are baggy round the ankle and wore with a skirt and finally so many girls with boots on the outside of jeans. I know I'm no fashion guru and am a lot older than these people but jesus, what a mess.
It can be entertaining people watching in these places. There were these two guys in there who obviously still believed that smoking was cool. Their elaborate hand gestures and holding of the cigarette each time they took a drag said volumes about their pretension as did the way they so cooly tried to drink from their bottles. One of the guys held his bottle so far up the neck that when he drank he looked like he was about to start open mic freestyling - what a wanker. Neither of them pulled anyone whilst we were there but it makes you wonder if they regularly do. I saw the girl in there who used to work in the gym I go to (I've not been for a good few weeks now!). She isn't stunning, more pretty but there is something incredibly sexy about her. She isn't a skinny size 8 but her softness is just all in the right places and a small slither of exposed flat midriff with tattoo at the back was proving a heady distraction for me. At one point I went to the bar to order a drink and she was standing right next to me. I could almost feel that she was looking at me and all it would have needed was for me to say "Do you still work at the gym" but my tongue seemed to escape me and the moment passed. God it was frustrating. It was definately a 'moment'. The window of opportunity was there, she was effectively looking at me and I had a conversational way in. Ah well. They left not long after. We stayed for about another hour or so and were getting eyes from two gyrating girls but neither of them did anything for bro and I so we didn't pursue.
Headed home and I wrestled with whether I should go on to this club. The sensible side of me said I shouldn't. It meant driving up into town, which can be a chore, probably hardly anyone would be there, it would cost money in petrol and admission and probably knacker me for the rest of Sunday. The heart though told me that I should live for the now. I might be 35 and play computer games but I should still be prepared to go out there and live for the now. I knew if I didn't go I'd probably regret it the next day and consider it another nail in the coffin for me approaching old age. If I went out at least I was proving I was still up for it and capable of breaking out of the everyday bubble. Maybe also this could the night that something amazing happened. I got changed, sprayed up and bro decided to come along as well. Again he'd gone through the same thought process and decided that living for the now was what it was all about. We got delayed a few times in traffic going up there even though by the time we parked up it was 2.30am but thought well maybe fate's putting obstacles in the way because it's going to be so good. The bouncers at the door told us that it wasn't very busy when they frisked us and upon entering we couldn't hear much.
I asked the promoter who was on the tills whether there was anyone in there. 'Oh yeah there's 200 plus in there'. Despite having put my name down on the guestlist for £13 admission (though this is apparently only valid until 12.00) the promoter had no trouble charging me us both the full £17 to get in. Upon walking in there must have been no more than 150 people in there. Lying bastard. We decided that we would still try and make something of it and bought a couple of cheap red bulll equivalents, these being called 'Shark'. Continuing my thread from earlier about shoes we saw one girl who beat them all. She wore 3/4 length denim jeans and cream ankle boots that didn't join up with the bottom of the jeans revealing some lovely california tan tights. What a mess. We moved into the trance room at 3 to see the DJ before Sean Tyas come on. He was called Ian Betts and I gotta say was pretty poor. Unfortunately he followed right on from the style of the previous DJ meaning that the music was too fast too hook me in. He needed to slow it down, engage the audience and then build it back up. There must only have been about 30 people in the room and if he'd done this I might have stayed but as it was the music was blasting along at the speed that is normally at the top of what I like to dance to. The DJ had nowhere to go in my mind and I couldn't imagine that Sean would come on, scratch the needle off the record and start again. This disappointment combined with how the music volume was set to an arch full of people when there were very few meant that it was literally hurting my bro's ears and we decided to leave.
What a shit night. The actual club is called Hidden and it wasn't bad but that's the last time I drive to Vauxhall for a dance night. This area always seemed to be where hard house, Nu nrg and hard trance are played. It was this area where Strawberry Sundae was and where bro came to his first club but the last few times I've pushed myself to go clubbing in this area the nights have been truly crap. I've washed my hands of this area. It's so frustrating and the two of us grumbled about it on the way home. You try to make an effort, you try not to get stuck in your ways and this is what you get. When is fate going to cut me some friggin slack for once. With my lack of success you'd assume I'd be the boring type who just stayed in all the time and never considered going out. Yet here I am prepared to go out late, try new things yet never seem to get the reward for it. We headed to McDonalds for a compensatory burger but the bun tasted like cardboard and we were both disappointed. Surely the law of averages in going out will go our way soon. Surely our spontaneity will impress someone or result in at least one wild night.
We set to work on Gears again the nest day and got it completed on the hardcore level. It was very satisfying and like finishing a good meal it was nice to savour the experience. The special edition version that I got came with a making of DVD which was fascinating to watch. It's really interesting to see the efforts and hard work that go into making the games. I've often talked about how frustrating it can be seeing some of our creative ideas be diluted by our clients and the DVD revealed something similar. The lead designer of the game had always had this vision of an assault rifle with a bayonet chainsaw yet the Microsoft suits who were publishing the game were against it. The company behind the game, Epic, were right behind the gun and the stand off between the two was interesting. The bayonet chainsaw was an intergral part of what the game is and Epic stuck to their guns and eventually Microsoft relented.
Also seeing the offices and how other companies run is interesting. When I see the teams working together, especially at the end when they are racing to get things done and working late into the night it makes me wish I was in that industry and had that talent. It was funny to see the E3 presentation and Bill Gates congratulating the lead designer on his presentation at the conference and how he liked the chainsaw bayonet. Gears of War has been really entertaining and truly raised the bar on what the X360 can do. I'm glad it's so good as it will keep Bungie on their toes. I'm not saying that they are complacent but a pretender to their crown can only be a great thing for pushing the efforts they put into Halo 3 and I'm sure we will be seeing a GOW 2 mid 2008, which I'd be very keen to enjoy.
Bro had a dinner date with the department he works in that night and I offered to pick him up afterwards. It wasn't until very late but as I wasn't working the next day I didn't mind. He'd moved on to a friends house afterwards and after driving round for an age (including twice round the Gravesend one way system) I eventually picked him up. He gave me the low down on the way home and I envy him a little bit for the greater social circle that he now has access to. Working in a bigger department store there are a lot more opportunities for him to meet people than the small office I work within. He told me how he'd been chatting to two of the girls who sounded really fun and bubbly. I told him he should arrange for us all to go out, especially when he knows how much fun we are to go out with. He then said they were 17-18. Christ did I feel old. I never feel the age gap between my bro and me. There is 14 years actual difference but he acts older and me younger so it never seems as noticeable but going out with female friends of his I'm sure I would do. What a sad fuck they must think I would be. When I was 18-19 the idea of someone in their 30's would be that they'd have a home, wife, kids and responsiblities. Anyone that didn't would have been dismissed as a desperate loser, unable to accept that they'd grown up. Despite me being fun to go out without and ensuring that they would have a good time I imagine these girls would think I was sad, creepy or both.
Until next week peeps.
Taking it easy and responding to my Call of Duty - 04/12/06
It was hard getting up on Monday morning but the knowledge of a few days off at the end of the week helped push me through. Work was pretty uneventful really and most of the evenings where taking up with responding to emails and trying to get to work on my site. Thursday night was on me before I knew it and I dropped in at a 24 hour Sainsburys.
It felt good wandering round the store picking up bits and bobs to eat yet not having to worry about the lateness of time. I could get used to this time off lark. Friday was a chance to make a start into the mound of washing that had come back with me from Barcelona as well as tidy up as must of it, suitcases etc, remained where I dumped it when I came in on Sunday evening.
Got a good line of washing going and sat down to have a good look at Call of Duty 3 on my Xbox 360. I was conscious of Gears of War but didn't want to race into or rush it. It really is a good game. Although the story tells an interconnecting tale of a breakout from Normandy it isn't as engaging or involving as some others. It is though great entertainment and some of the firefights can get pretty intense. I'd deliberately put it onto the hard setting to give myself a challenge and it certainly did this. Bro and I were going to a party on behalf of our mother in the evening so I raced up to Bluewater to pick him. Popped back to mine for some dinner and then went to the party at around 9.30ish.
My mum used to work on a farm as a volunteer. I kept telling her she was wasting her time there and could have been earning some real money but the managers there always used to dangle the prospect of a full time job and she ended up staying there about four years before they gave her an interview and then the job to someone else. Hence bro and I have very little time for this bunch of mofo's. While there though she did meet a guy who got her out of the house and introduced her to new social circle which has been really good for her. Anyway this guy was relocating up north and was having a party and Mum had really wanted us to attend. We decided as it was important to her to be as friendly and charming as we could be. We pulled up and I've got to say it looked grim. A cold almost empty hall with a smoke machine, impressive lighting and not a soul dancing. Mum introduced us to a range of people who we chatted to, including her friend at the farm. He was pretty hammered and thus I think missed the jokes I was making in our conversation. We grabbed some soft drinks and continued to circulate.
We saw a couple of girls arrive and rather boldly went over and started chatting to them after about ten minutes. The blond of the two disappeared but the brunette was good fun and I enjoyed talking to her. Mum came in an introduced us to another lady who was just as pretty and equally fun to chat with. I think at some points she was winding me up and vice versa but neither of us were sure when. We also had a good chat with another guy who had met Tony de Vit before he died and knew a lot about the club scene. He was a gay guy and knew a lot about the dance scene so it was fascinating to chat to him about the Sherbet album, Pete Wardman etc. We left the party around 12ish, having I think done mum proud and the night turning out a lot better than we thought it would when we initially arrived. We'd chatted to quite a few people and had a laugh and it was a nice reminder for me that I can be entertaining and some people do still find me funny.
I pretty much mooched through Saturday. Maybe I should have gone out during the day but I couldn't be arsed and to be honest didn't really need anything. Hooked up with M in the evening and we headed over to Beckenham. Bar a lovely looking honey in O'Neills (she was partnered up) there wasn't much going down. We went over to a bar called Bar Flux, it had a club downstairs but judging by the girls and arsehole blokes we'd seen in the bar didn't see the point in paying £7 to head downstairs, probably take one circuit round the club and come out. Headed back and flirted with the idea of a late film but all the decent stuff was already underway by the time we got there so we settled for a tea hut trip. Quarterpounder egg and a tea. M decided to chase a fox when we pulled up and seeing his high knee, Tom Cruise style running across the heath was hilarious. He was nowhere near catching it but he claimed while we waited for our order that he was just 6 inches away from him. This later extended to six feet.
Sunday was more Call of Duty 3 and I whipped up a spag bol in which I added another new ingredient to the mix. A splash of worcester sauce. It was hard to distinguish within the sauce but the whole thing was excellent so it could only have added to it. Picked my bro up later that night from a works do he'd gone to. He got completely mashed and told me how he'd been busting some moves on the dancefloor. Good boy. I know there's always a danger of going silly at the Christmas Do's but sometimes they can provide good material for people to talk to you about when you are back in the office and give them a way in to start a conversation. Who am I as well to recommend good behaviour. At my Christmas do's when I worked at Cooper & Lybrand (city accountants) I used to get the DJ to drop Stayin Alive and I'd strip down to my boxers. You know what they say. The worst thing than being talked about is not being talked about! Anyway he was hammered and rambling some crazy shit in the car on the way home which proved highly amusing. After I'd dropped him home I tried to play Dead Rising on the 360.
This should be perfect game really. Trapped in a shopping centre full of zombie hordes but it certainly wasn't no Resident Evil. The missions seemed confusing and complicated and I couldn't read the text on the screen it was so damn small. I'd been hoping for this immersive game that was going to suck me in, in the dead of night with my headphones but alas it did not. I gave it a good two hours and then hit the sack.
Talking dogs and Barcelona - 27/11/06
A quiet day in the office on Monday. We've prepped our clients for our absence from the office on Thursday and Friday and thankfully it seems that work won't be chasing us right up to the 11th hour. Due to the break in and the shutters not being fixed myself and the two bosses are having to take the Mac's and PC's home with us to ensure their safety as they can't be left in the office. Because of taking these home I didn't go swimming this night. To be honest as well as not wanting the hassle of removing all the items from the car and then heading back out I didn't want to run the risk of catching any bug or pushing too hard with only a few days to go. When we went to Vegas my boss and friend managed to come down with a cold/flu thing which although didn't ruin the trip still meant he wasn't firing on all cyclinders. I used the time to work on my journal and when I got home to iron and prep my suitcase.
Tuesday was a little busier with a hot lunch and a video on Youtube that was brilliant. If you go onto You tube and type in sweet-talkin-dogs this video comes up with a collection of talking dogs. I confess to being a softie and some of these are amazing and wonderful. The first one saying 'I love momma' is really cute but my two faves would be the Dalmation who says 'Hello' and the dog that follows it who when asked twice whether he wants something responds with 'I want it'. I'm know I'm being a big kid but hell I'm a sensitive soul and aren't always obsessed with big boobs and computer games, well maybe not all the time. Finished packing the suitcase that night all of which was done without the use of a list. A little maverick you might think, especially for a Virgoan who loves writing lists, but this time I couldn't be arsed and simply ran through what I would need every day and night in my mind and whether I had the tools, clothes and toiletries to do that.
Wednesday was tidying up final bits and pieces in the office and ensuring that we were all ready for the off. I knocked up a list for us all of contact names and numbers and a rough itinerary of what we had planned etc for when the trip started. I didn't quite seem to know what to do when I got home. Normally I'd been in a semi-controlled state of frenzy while I got together final bits and pieces but it had all been done and I felt like a bit of a spare part. My mind couldn't reconcile that it was all done and I could fully relax and enjoy the evening. Cooked up some Spag Bol for a good nights eating but it didn't help to make me feel sleepy. Although I needed to be up at 5am I eventually hit the sack at 2am before waking again at 3am.
Thursday. Trip began and here I will direct you to the trip report in the
Came back from this on Sunday afternoon. I dropped off a work colleague and on the way home stopped in at the Odeon, Greenwich Peninsula to get three tickets for Casino Royale. Then shot home, picked up my brother and returned to the peninsula where we met M and grabbed a pizza from Pizza Hut. It was some good grub and gave us a chance to run the highlights of the trip past my bro. We then went to see the film and I realised I'd taken the cinema tickets out of my pocket and left them at home. Brilliant. Had to then get another three tickets for the next performance.
The trailers before the film started were amazingly bad. Saw that pretensious one for Chanel with Nicole Kidman in it. What crap. I don't know what's worse the fact that the advert thinks it is and wants to be a movie or how the credits for it seem to last longer than the actual advert. Dire.
As for the film my thoughts may contain spoilers so please don't read on if you don't want it ruined. I was a little disappointed with the film. I enjoyed Daniels portrayal of Bond. He's meaner, harder and looks a more intimidatory figure. It was clever how the bomber could do parcour yet Bond kept up with him doing his own interpretation of brain and brawn. I liked Vesper's verbal duelling with Bond. The two fought themselves to a grudging respect which worked well and the scene with Bond left alone in an empty restaurant was especially poignant.
For me though it lost it after the torture scene. There was no satisfaction in the death of the lead bad guy as we didn't see Le Chiffe's death and we've all seen enough spy/thriller films that when the lead character comes round from being unconscious and suddenly the female character is all over him to be suspicious. I mean even Bond says that she previously treated him with loathing yet now she is offering to perform any sexual act with him, following which she asks for the password to an account containing 150 million pounds.
If that's not enough of a hint to the audience then she immediately turns away with a 'I've done something terrible' look and says 'if all that's left of you is a little finger and a smile'. Why would she say that if she didn't think something was going to happen to him. Their love didn't feel as convincing or handled as deftly as their earlier encounters.
The director should know that you can't play the 'I'm going to resign' line with the audience. This isn't a stand alone film it's a franchise. The only way Bond will stop being a secret agent is if he dies (never going to happen) or the thing which is making him resign is removed. It's like trying to convince the audience that Aragorn dies in The Two Towers when the audience knows that the final film is called Return of the King and Aragorn is the king. It's pointless and means that you lose the audience quicker than you should.
I wanted Bond's revenge to last for longer at the end of the film, not just be greeted with a stage managed photo op of Bond in a classy suit holding a machine gun, and thus felt a little short changed. It's a good start and credit to Craig for holding my attention. I guess the trouble with a Bond film is that they are marketed so heavily that it really is hard to go into the first screening without pretty much knowing the entire film. A promising re-start for the franchise but full judgement is out until I see where the series is going.
Headed home after this and enjoyed some post film debate with my bro. Slept well that night.
Humbling generosity that welcomes me to a new club - 20/11/06
The office was broken into again over the weekend. Thankfully the scum didn't manage to get away with anything as the safe put up a heroic last stand though it died in the process. They lifted up the shutter late Friday night by about 30cms and crawled underneath. The land anchors that are padlocked and fix the shutter to the ground held fast so this small crawl space was only about a foot and a half wide. I imagine they must have been pissed when they saw the 1 tonne, fireproof safe up against the wall. They went at it with crowbars but it didn't budge and in their frustration they rammed a metal banner stand through one of our desks. The only thing they actually took was a plug mounted door bell, which they must have assumed was a camera or something. Thieving little shits, I hope they burn in hell.
Three of us had to head off to client meeting on Monday and then followed this by taking some of the clients out for a long lunch. It was Chinese and was very nice. It was good to go out and see them in a more social scene. Had chicken for starters followed by some special fried rice for the main course. We got stuck in some major traffic on the way home meaning that we didn't get back into the office until about 7.00 ish. Went swimming again as I wanted to prove that the previous Saturdays efforts had not been a complete fluke. They weren't and I nailed in another 100 lengths in under an hour which pleased me.
One of my bosses had a chorizo sausage delivered to the office for me on Tuesday. She had ordered it about five weeks previously and for it to be delivered then. Unfortunately the company handling it displayed woeful service and took all this time to do so. It was meant as a thank you for my work on that charity campaign that we had worked on. Needless to say it wasn't needed or expected. I'm happy to work for my bosses for the respect I have for them and the money they pay me. I took it home that night and tried to make something special with it. I chopped up some nice bacon, a small onion, some mushrooms and chucked them in a wok along with some slices of chorizo. I then added a Lloyd Grossman sauce and some red wine but it didn't lift it into greatness. The juices from the chorizo made the sauce quite tasty but whenever I popped a piece of chorizo in my mouth it was bland and chewy like the soul of a shoe. I had tried but my 'creation' skills couldn't do anything and I ended up chucking a whole load of it away.
Wednesday was uneventful and when everyone else was gone my two bosses asked when I was going to take some holiday. So far this year I'd only taken two days off and confess that I had been feeling the need for a long lie in soon. I'm not being a martyr or anything but I enjoy where I work and I've not really wanted to spend my money on going away anywhere. I know the benefits of time off but work for me is more than work and I don't like the thought of lazing at home when others are hard at work. I think that's why I always enjoy the Christmas holiday as I feel I can relax in the knowledge that everyone else is off as well. Anyway, I responded that I wasn't sure and they said they had got me some books to read for when I did eventually have the time off. What? I was bemused to say the least and ventured over to the amazon box that contained the books. Nestling within was a vision of heaven. Admission to a special club that I've been considering joining for over a year. An Xbox 360. Oh my giddy, god. I laughed, I clapped my hands together and I looked backwards and forwards at my two bosses. What, why, how come I attempted to say. It wasn't a reward for all the holiday that I hadn't taken off and it wasn't meant to incentivise me to not take any off next year. It was a token from them that they acknowledged how little time I'd had off and a recompense for the days that were still in the kitty.
Man I couldn't believe it. A premium Xbox 360. For those not in the know this presents the complete package, as the name might suggest, of console, 20Gb hard-drive, wireless controller, headset and Xbox live out-of-the-box. Only this week with the Gears of War and Call of Duty 3 reviews coming out and me regularly looking at ign.com yet here I was now a proud owner of an Xbox 360. It's like all my evenings have been filled up for the foreseeable future. Like I don't have to worry about being bored when I've always got this in my room. I felt energized. From fretting over exactly when I might get it and what games to get, here I was with the console in my hand and the decision on which game clearer in my mind. Although I've been keeping tabs on Halo 3 and was going to get an Xbox 360 anyway there is still the feeling of immediacy that I'm now in a position to rock and roll immediately if it was suddenly released. In addition to the console I also got given an Xbox 360 toolkit comprising a 2 litre bottle of coke, packet of twiglets, packet of kettle chips, bacon pringles, microwave popcorn, peanuts and cashew nuts with glass jar container (aka Nut Bucket), protective hand cream to keep ones fingers supple and finally a bucket with accompanying funnel and deodorising wipes to remove the need to pause a game for the inconvenience of visiting the toilet. The final part was naturally done in sarcasm before anyone thinks that I'd continue playing in a swamp of my own piss.
I spent the rest of the evening trying to decide what game to get to with it. GOW got the best reviews but Call of Duty 2 really impressed when the 360 first came out and the third was supposed to be even better. I was also wondering when would be the best time to tell my brother. I knew he would be just as excited and I wanted to experience that face to face rather than just on the phone. I decided to hold fire and maybe do it on the Friday night. I drove home as chuffed as anything, yet still very humbled at my bosses generosity. They really are two amazing people.
Took in cakes the next morning, mainly as a small form of thanks for the two of them but also because I was feeling pretty damn good and wanted to share that feeling. It's not the same but love for a console is better than no love at all!Lunch was an unhealthy meal of ham, chips and beans. Ah, what the hell. Decided against setting up the Xbox as I wanted to wait until Friday night to share it with my brother. He even called me from my place making general chit-chat, unawares or so I thought that he was standing right next to the boxed machine.
Friday was the last one before
Up on Saturday and off again to the swimming pool. I only did about 80 or so lengths. I was feeling tired and also a little excited about hitting Bluewater. I wanted to get a game and some other accessories for the 360 but was also aware that it was the last weekend before
Headed to Bluewater and spent an absolute age there. Looked around at different boots, Happy (by Clinique) products in Boots and different tops and shirts. I also looked in John Lewis for a digital/optical cable. When I bought my home cinema system, the sales guy had said that I should get a digital output lead to go from the DVD to Amp. I always considered it but never did. Add to this I was always unsure whether my amp was that good. It could handle DTS, 5.1 and 6.1 yet never really seemed to show it. I knew that all games on the 360 were in 5.1 so decided I would go next-gen with the sound as I was with the console. Managed to find one in John Lewis along with a plug and play charger and a wired controller for the Xbox. My bro works in John Lewis so I was keen to use his discount if I could. Went and bought the special edition tin box version of Gears of War from Virgin. All their games were completely shrink wrapped and this lack of tamper-ment and scratching at the hands of joe public was the deciding factor for buying it from there.
Mooched around for hours until bro finished work and then took him on a quick tour of the items of clothing that I'd seen to get his approval. He discounted them all. The boots, the beanie, the shirts and the top. It deflated me to be honest. I respect his opinion and defer to it but Jesus. Looked in Schu at some other Timberlands but they didn't have my size. Hit JD's which had some Nubuck boots in by K1X. By this point he could have singled out anything and I would have probably bought it. Went to make a purchase and the chatty sales assistant who kindly told me that I wasn't too old to wear the boots and liked my Senheiser headphones said that if I got a store card I could save 10% on my purchase. With the boots, Nike air top and a beanie the bill was £100 so a tenner off was a good deal I thought. I confirmed that it definitely wasn't a credit card and agreed to it but they then discovered it was too late to do there and then. Decided that I would come back the next day as I wanted another look around.
Followed this by looking in a Jewellers for a new DKNY watch as my last one had packed up. To be honest the winder on the side had fallen off, I think from when a previous jeweller had changed the battery, and it was always going to be rendered useless once the clocks went back an hour. I had had it for over three years so it had served it's time well. Anyway we asked to try two watches on and the sales assistant started chatting to us about how it was her first week etc. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with her chatting but it seems my slow takeup of responding to her was indicative of how much we have become unused to conversing with shop staff nowadays. It seems you normally enter a shop, at the most communicate your desire to try something on and then make your purchase. With chip 'n' pin you don't even need to hand them any money. It's quite easy, and regular, to make purchases in almost complete silence. Thus to have two assistants in two consecutive shops converse with me kinda took me by surprise. It reminded me that the bubble that I walk round the shops in can be broken and that some of the people who work in shops are still human, whose minds and eyes don't glaze over as soon as the shop doors open.
Headed home and after dinner, pizza I think, we linked up the digital cable. Wow, everything I'd wanted my home cinema to be it now was. I put on Titanic which has a THX opening which always pushes the surround speakers and finishes on a low sub woofer rumble and it sounded great. The surround speakers were chucking it out without having to be cranked up and it sounded really cool. Who would have thought that a £12 lead would make so much difference. I was happy. Popped in Gears of War and checked it out. The supporting literature in the special edition was excellent. There is this small hardback book which gives a little more info on the Gears of War world along with a special features DVD, though I don't want to watch this until I've completed the game. The sound and graphics on the game are outstanding. Shoot a wall and for a millisecond you can see the hot glowing rounds in the wall that quickly fade and the sound was demonstrated by a leaking radiator that hissed from each speaker if you approached from different angles. We attempted to get to grips with the cover methods but with only an hour or so to play think it might need some more time.
Hit Bluewater again on Sunday. I must be a glutton for punishment eh? The idea of a discount was encouraging and I thought I might pick up some other bits. Bought some Happy Eau de Toilette to go with the other items in the range that had been bought for me for my birthday and headed back to JD's for the boots, Nike air top and Nike beanie. They swore again that it wasn't a credit card but once I'd filled in the forms they told me I didn't have to pay now as the discounted purchase had gone on the card. You shouldnt turn down credit but my fear of getting into debt kicked in and I was a little miffed that I couldn't square up the bill there and then. As soon as they send the paperwork and card through I'll pay it off immediately but there is always the fear that it will slip my mind and I'll be presented with an unexpected bill. I also decided to treat myself to Call of Duty 3. I shouldn't have, what with
Headed home, put on some washing and popped in Call of Duty 3. Wow, it's pretty impressive. The opening set piece is just madness with incredible sound and truly next gen graphics. The sense of immersion in a battle when there are bullets, grenades, chunks of rubble and shouts in American and German ringing out is amazing. It's a real roller coaster ride. When my bro got in from work I let him play it so I could take the chance to look at some of the surrounding graphics. You sense them when you are playing but when being shot at you rarely stop to examine the flowers. Had some dinner and then went for some co-op Gears of War. This took a little longer to get the hang of as having been used to playing a first person perspective game to then a third person perspective means the eye needs a little time to re-calibrate. The cover system was also proving a little taxing. It was a little frustrating to begin with but after an hour or so began to really gel and being able to work together to flank and outmanoeuvre the enemy was cracking fun. The story and setting is very involving and some of the firefights were a real blast, even more than those in Call of Duty 3. The only downside is that with so much graphical beauty to take in you wish you could see more than the split screen that the co-op works in. Bro is talking about getting a 360 at Christmas so maybe a system link playing will be in order when we can both benefit from having a full screen to play on.
A good week and a nice build up to
To those lucky individuals that do read it, thanks.
Looking for boots, getting drunk and getting barred - 13/11/06
And so another week began. Driving into work on the space saver was not ideal so I set about trying to track down another tyre. A guy I knew who used to work at the Rapid Fit section of my local Ford garage had moved to be manager of a local Kwik Fit. I had told him I would always track him down and use him as I liked and trusted him. Unfortunately he was off sick for a couple of days and his Kwik Fit didn't have my tyres in stock. The ford dealership that I'd got my brake light from had two in stock so as we were quiet I left work early to head down there to get them done.
It felt strange leaving work early. I've not had a great deal of time off work this year, two days to be exact, and hence it's rare that the office would be open and I wouldn't be there. It did feel refreshingly different though. Got to the garage in good time and got chatting to the new guy in the rapid fit department. He was a really nice guy, only in his early 20's, but we chatted about cars and bikes etc. He showed me how the rim had worn away the inside of the tyre when it was running low and how the tread on the other tyre was getting a little low. I had thought the tyres were going to be £140 each but as they were around £90 I thought it prudent to get them both done. We chatted about other stuff, what he'd done and college etc and he also helped me change the interior light bulb. All in all I felt good about spending the money. It was nice to chat to someone completely different and outside of my normal social circle. At the end he even apologised for it having taken longer than normal but that he'd enjoyed having a natter.
Managed to head off to swimming earlier than normal, which was bearable and not as busy as I'd feared it might be. Followed this by watching the film Hard Candy, which a colleague had lent me. It's a really interesting film about a possible paedophile that is being tortured by this 14 year old girl. As a film it really makes you think and ask questions about yourself as you find yourself feeling sympathy for the paedo and hoping that he isn't the monster that the girl thinks he is. Being effectively just about the two of them alone in the house the film would live or die on the two actors performances and they are both outstanding. For her age the girl does very well though I didn't warm to her character, but I think this was intentional. Excellent thought provoking film.
During the day we had talked in the office about how on the Saturday in the hotel I'd addressed one of the waitresses as 'love'. It was an interesting discussion. Some thought I was being patronising whereas I think it just add's a little warmth to the greeting. It's not like I put my arm around them and call them love but more when I was trying to get her attention. I said 'excuse me' twice before saying slightly louder 'excuse me love'. I wasn't being demeaning but I think it immediately sets a warmer tone when speaking to someone. Naturally I don't do it to everyone but if I'm speaking to certain guys, for instance the guy at the rapid fit tyre place when I phoned up, I would insert the term mate into conversation. Again it wasn't said to be patronising but rather to indicate a lack of stuffiness.
Had a client meeting on the Tuesday and as we managed to make good time getting there popped into a local TK Maxx. My boss had mentioned that lots of people seemed to be wearing Gilet's (bodywarmers) and that I should look at them. Saw a really nice reversible Shott one. Navy on the outside and bright orange on the inside. You know how I love bright, fluoro colours to everyone else's horror but this had a nice balance between the subtlety of the navy colour with the occasional flash of orange. I'd never really considered them before but I gotta say that it looked pretty cool and a very good solution to my issues of keeping warm but never wanting the cumbersome 'where do I put it' of a coat. After having the expense of buying two new tyres my iron also decided to pack up. It was hardly surprising really, the cord had been becoming more and more frayed and I couldn't be bothered to do anything about it, especially after some of the other buttons had broken. I replaced it with a Tefal ultraglide from Tesco's. It wasn't too expensive and I tried to put to the back of my mind the last Tefal that I had. I remember losing my temper with it and literally smashing it to pieces.
Back at the same clients the next day for a pitch we had to do. We had gone in with a more realistic approach bearing in mind what we knew of this clients internal processes but it wasn't what they wanted to hear. Although unworkable and impractical it was obvious they wanted 'bells & whistles' and after the last campaign that we did for them we knew this wouldn't work. We were confident we hadn't won it by the time we left the meeting but still believed that what we presented was entirely the right solution. Back to the office to see that both Call of Duty 3 and Gears of War had been reviewed. COD gained an 8.8 and GOW a 9.4. I read the reviews hungrily and it just inflamed by wish to buy an Xbox 360 at Christmas for myself. The Euromillions lottery still hasn't been won and has now swollen to a huge jackpot of £100 million. I've limited myself to just two lines a week but needless to say the thought of winning has crossed my mind quite a few times.
I ordered an Abba album from Amazon which arrived today. It's called Abba the Album and was the one they released when Abba the Movie came out. My folks were really into Abba when I was younger and even as I grew up I always look back and like how the band members relationships seemed to be echoing what my folks were going through at the same time, notably splitting up. I used to love the song Eagle on the album but my fave was One man, one woman. It was never released as a single but I've always associated it with my dream of that fairytale, utopian relationship that I've wanted. I was singing my heart out to it in the car on the way home
"One man, one woman. Two friends and two true lovers. Somehow we'll help each other through the hard times. One man, one woman. One life to live together. One chance to take that never comes back again. You and me to the end"
Ok it might not inspire many but there is something in those lyrics, the way they are sung and maybe the memories or deluded notion that that kind of relationship was attainable that really strike a chord with me. Hit the gym that night but with my calf still giving me a little gip I limited CV to a good 30 minutes of walking followed by some weights. Polished off the remains of the spag bol from the weekend while I watched The Business. It starred Danny Dyer and had a similar cast to the Football Factory. An entertaining story though I felt the 80's soundtrack was a little overplayed to ram home the message that this was meant to have been set in that time. I don't normally like crime stuff but the characters really now how to sell proper swearing and it's worth watching for just that if nothing else.
Work was quiet on Thursday and I tried looking for some Timberland boots online. I need a pair of decent boots for Barcelona as I can't really do all the neccesary walking in white trainers. Found some nice ones and filled my head with the notion of buying some. Hit my local shopping centre to see what boots they had in, I confess they looked disappointing in the flesh and headed to the swimming pool for another good swim. The pool had been sectioned off at the deeper third for women doing some exercise routine so me and just one other guy had the remaining two thirds to ourselves. Decided I wanted to try and bash in as many widths as I could. Had hit 70 when the ladies aerobics session finished and they put in some full length swimming lanes. Managed to manoeuvre myself into the lanes without stopping or putting my feet down and nailed out 30 constant lengths. By the time I finished I was the only one left in the pool. I was pretty knackered but felt pretty pleased with myself. Got home to see that Risky Business was on with Tom Cruise.
It had been a long time since I'd seen this and it was great to see it again. Tom is brilliant in this film. It's the more grown up, guy left at home film that you always wanted Ferris Bueller to be. I can so relate when he's dancing round the house in his shirt and pants to some rock music. I love the film's message that sometimes you've just got to say 'what the fuck' and the way he says it when the bloke from Princeton comes to interview him and he thinks he's blown it is wicked. Cracking film that really evoked the hopeful, optimistic thoughts that I had when I first saw it all those years ago.
As the exertions of prepping for that pitch had worn off lunch on Friday was an unhealthy KFC. This descent into stodge heaven was compounded with a pizza for dinner with my bro. I was only meant to have a little of his large pizza but they were out of large pizza dough and thus we had to have two medium ones. My pizza choice, as I may have bored you with before is now set at meat feast with mushroom and extra pepperoni. It makes for a realy tasty, meaty, juicy pizza and this evenings was no exception. All washed down with a bottle of coke and a Friday night film. My bro had bought Groundhog Day on DVD which we'd both seen before and enjoyed again. A really enjoyable film and truly Bill Murray's best ever performance. His character just goes through the whole range of emotions and actions from disbelief at his situation to exploiting it for all he can get to depression and numerous suicide attempts to resignation at his plight and a desire to improve himself. Models I'm sure everything I would do in that situation. I love the moments he has with Andie McDowall and I've always wanted to recreate the times he has dancing under the bandstand and being in the cold, snowy evenings with someone special. It was this film that led to my appreciation of Ray Charles and the song 'You don't know me' seemed so poignant for how I used to feel about women, ie admiring them from afar but never taking any postitive action. So many standout scenes in the film from his interactions with Ned Ryerson, the way he counts down to stealing the money, his stopping of the music with his fist when he's playing the piano and then starts the classical piece which evolves into something else and his weather prediction "I'll give you a winter prediction. It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life" - brilliant.
Passed on the gym again on Saturday and concentrated on upping my game in the swimming pool. Managed to get a quiet time and thus could concentrate on my lengths without too many annoyances or having to swim round people. I did 100 lengths non stop and was really chuffed with myself. When I staggered out of the pool, and I was knackered, I asked how long the lengths were. 25 metres so I must have done 2.5k. I was pleased. Tried to find the Timberlands that I'd been sourcing on the internet in the shops but surprise, surprise no one had any size 10's. Just my bro and I were heading out that night so we went for an early start. Grabbed some fish'n'chips, banged home 1 1/2 shots of Absinthe that proved hard to take down, had a bath and headed up to local town to catch Borat at the cinema. Very, very funny. It wasn't a laugh all the way through but there were plenty of funny things with particular highlights being "she had a vagina like a wizards sleeve" - what a wicked comparison, and the naked wrestling scene which was as horrendous as it was hilarious. Felt a little drained afterwards but after a few drinks and shots felt myself coming back.
4 orange reefs, 1 1/2 shots of Absinthe, 2 shots of Goldschlager, 2 shots of Aftershock, 1 shot of Baileys, 2 slippery nipples (baileys & sambuca), 1 Red Bull and 4 Archers (peach snapps) and lemonades - was doing my bit for the binge drinking generation!
We drank in a few pubs and then headed to Breeze. Downstairs was ok. There weren't many honeys but it was just good to be in there with my bro. The bar has been such a big part of my social life for the last few years that it was good at last to get him in there. The DJ was on good form and we bought him a few drinks. His girlfriend was in their along with a friend. I've seen his girlfriend before and although don't know her still recognize her face and vice versa. I accidentally trod on the foot of her friend during the night. It wasn't a complete 'stamp' down, I certainly didn't feel myself doing it (as you would) and the dancefloor was very crowded. Naturally I apologised profusely as I always would despite being tipsy but she seemed to get the arse, assumed that I was trying to hit on her and kept throwing me barbed looks all night. I wasn't interested in her and her arrogant assumption that I fancied her hugely pissed me off. Prima donna bitch. Go fuck yourself love. I'm here for a good time and a dance with my brother. If there was a nice girl there then maybe but never with some pretensious cow who believes everyone is trying to hit on her. I tried to ignore her and concentrate on enjoying my night.
Bro and I continued to dance and drink. I chatted to one girl who seemed nice but didn't engage me enough to make me want to make a real effort in chatting her up. All I really wanted to do was continue getting merry and dancing to the cheesy 70's & 80's tunes. I do get animated when dancing when I'm drunk yet I'm still aware of my surroundings. Although I might be singing with all my heart I'm still focused enough to realise when someone is trying to get past me. This girls constant icy stares and huffs and sighs were really beginning to get under my skin now. It's quite a small club and if my presence was bothering her (believe me when I say that I wasn't) she could have moved away. It got to about 12.50 and we decided to head off to pick up our cab that we'd booked. As I walked up the stairs leading from the dancefloor my hand slid along the handrail. As it did I decided to extend my finger to flip the girl the bird. It was juvenile I know but with probably 70 people on the dance floor it was pretty tokenist. Besides bearing in mind my hand was travelling up about two inches parallel to the handrail it was hardly visibly that is was aimed at this arrogant bint.
We left the club and headed over to the car park to wait for our cab. Whilst waiting I noticed this big burly black bouncer that inhabits the club walking over towards me. He stopped about an inch from my nose and made this grand gesture of telling me that were he not working he would rip my finger off for showing it to his girlfriend and that I was barred from his club. I could smell his rather unpleasant breath on my face and was a little taken aback. What, it took me completely by surprise and with that he turned and walked away. My brother started walking after him to have it out with him and I started to chase after my bro to stop him doing anything rash. While this was going on my mind was racing about what had happened and I started to get angry. I didn't mind getting barred from the club, not that it was his club to do so, but being at the receiving end of some little slag running to her bouncer boyfriend saying I'd been nasty pissed me right off. I accidentally stepped on your toe bitch, please don't assume it means I fancy you. You weren't that pretty and if your choice of boyfriend is a lughead bouncer then you also aren't that bright. I felt like I should go and say something to this guy but really what is the point? OK I gave the finger but she would only have seen it if she'd been looking for it and then 'ran' to her boyfriend to tell him and ensure he remonstrate with me. The cab pulled up as I contemplated this and thankfully I got in before I did anything more stupid.
Does being barred from a club make me a bad boy? Shouldn't I be swarming with women now?
Headed off to the Greenwich Penisula on Sunday to see if I could at last find these Timberlands in my size. I could and tried them on but I wasn't convinced. I didn't have that buying certainty of 'I must have them' and decided against proceeding. It was the right choice. I don't want to spend over £70 on something I'm not convinced on. I know when I'll get the right feeling. Although the shops are ok the area is just full of tracksuit wearing chav's and is pretty grim. They've tried to make it all nice and the shops are brand new but the surrounding, low rent, dead end scum make you feel that being in their presence leaves you dirty and needing a bath. Headed over to the McDonalds by the cinema and the feeling continued. While queing I had a rare moment of charity. The queuing structure seemed all over the place and as I started giving my order by bro told me that this young mother to my right was next. I was horrified that I had pushed in as I know my English queing etiquette. I apologised and offered her to go in front of me. The guy behind the counter said he couldn't cancel my order so I asked what she was ordering and added it to my bill. She started to try to give me money, which I refused to take saying it would make up for my perceived rudeness. I think she was embarrased and so was I but I didn't know any other way around it. It didn't help that the assistant began to screw up the order with me having to forcibly tell him to put the ladies cheeseburger and chips in one bag and give to me, which I handed to her, and put the remainder in a bag for me. See, I'm not completely cold hearted.
We headed home afterwards and watched some episodes of the Iraqi war series called 'Over there' which is by Steven Bochco, the guy behind LA Law. It was ok and some of the action scenes were good but the need to put the female soldiers/characters onto the front line where they wouldn't normally be felt forced and contrived. I'm not being sexist, though I don't think a woman's place is on the front line, but there were too many situations where a patrol's vehicle would break down, the female mechanics would come out to repair it and then the unit would be ambushed to ensure that the women were in the thick of it. It also didn't help that it kept flitting back to a character from the pilot episode that had been hospitalized. It hampered the pace of the show and added a level of disjointed-ness to the desert action. Followed this with the Majestic which is by Frank Darabont and stars Jim Carrey. My bro had got it as he believes it's one of Jim's finest roles, which I'd second, and is a nice entertaining film. OK it's not in the league of Darabont's other works of Shawshank and the Green Mile but it's still very enjoyable.
Thanks for stopping by and sorry for the delay in posting. With getting ready for Barcelona and receiving an unexpected gift time has been tight. Talk soon.
"Your jumper is trapped in the door" - 06/11/2006
Christ there were so many goddam slow coaches in the fast lane of my swimming session that after nearly clattering into the back of one bloke I just stood up and walked behind him for over half a length. Went into the shallower, training pool and as that has no lane dividers managed to blast out 20 continuous lengths by swimming round people. It probably felt like I was terrorising the pool but I was so riled up by this point that if anyone had even given me a funny look I would have gone into one. I probably sound a miserable bastard and I'm not saying that the world should revolve around me but you do expect that to swim in the fast lane you would be capable of a fast-ish pace. It's the equivalent of some pootling along arsewipe doing 45mph in the fast lane of the motorway. At least the anger keeps me charged for longer, which in turn makes me push harder which is never a bad thing.
Managed to do a little more research on
At last I managed to change the rear brake light on my car. I must confess that it's been out for a good few weeks now and what with busy-ness at work didn't want to just head out and start working on it. Managed to figure it out and replace it with ease. It felt good to have it done, now I've just got to do the interior light and give it a damn, good clean. Went to the gym on Weds night but I managed to tweak a muscle in my calf. I thought I'd properly stretched before the run and that I would be able to run it out but 5 mins into my run and I felt something strange. I stopped anymore leg related exercises and just concentrated on the weights machines. Not building up a proper sweat or leaving the gym as knackered as I normally do meant I felt like a bit of a fraud.
Stayed late on Thursday for ASOT and also for my bro who was working late next door. ASOT was good and I attempted to add some stuff to my site, hugely important pieces like my favourite eateries, my review of Halo 2 etc, but seemed to just mooch around the web, which is fatal. When bro arrived we headed over to the Tesco at the Royal Docks as the website said they had a large clothing section here. This Tesco's was huge, the biggest goddam supermarket I've ever seen. Glass fronted and split over two floors with an escalator serving the two levels. Upstairs was the clothing section along with entertainment and electronics etc and downstairs the normal stuff but twice the quantity. It was pretty damn impressive.
We had a gander round the clothing section and I showed bro my shoes. He reacted in horror saying they would either be worn by old men or geeky nerds at school. I did like them and their comfort but deferred to his greater awareness of fashion. Did pick up a jumper which was nice and met with his thumbs up. It was getting late and knowing that bro had worked all day and not had lunch offered to get him a McDonalds. The one on the retail estate we were at was closed with the lights off so we went to one further up the road that was lit up like a christmas tree. The lights might have been on but there was certainly no one home. Ok, if you begin to put obstacles in my way and tell me I can't have something, I'm going to want it even more. Ummed and ahhed about whether to hit the Mc's at Lakeside, Thurrock or return to the one at
Now I was getting a little pissed and I asked bro what he wanted to do. He was tired but he'd also got the 'taste'. To quote James Coburn from The Magnificent Seven (with a minor change) 'Nobody shows me an empty service box and tells me to run away, nobody'. So we hit the road again and blasted down to
Sweet Jesus, a chain as big as McDonalds and after visiting four establishments nothing. All the flak that they take from healthy eaters and food fascists and here are two willing customers wanting to enjoy their product who can't get it for love nor money. What's worse is that even if they were open they would only have a limited menu. I went to one in the
Friday and I had to put my mind to working on a brief for a recycling campaign for one of our clients. I don't find writing difficult but trying to get the right tone of voice proved frustrating. My boss is awesome at writing this business speak stuff especially after having nailed this long written pitch for another project in like a day and a half. It's just a case of switching your writing style into that kind of language, though there is a tendency to over complicate as you trip yourself up thinking I can't possibly write it as simple as it sounds. Lunch was a nice pastie with all the usual trimmings and you know how much I enjoy a Friday hot lunch.
A little lay in on Saturday but not too much. MI 3 arrived on DVD which I was pleased about. We were going out that night to see some fireworks on Blackheath and I agreed with my friend to pick him up earlier than normal and head to Bluewater to shop for some bits before collecting my bro and heading back to the heath for the fireworks. Heading to his was a pain in the arse with the heavier traffic and the earlier start meant I couldn't fit in the gym. Eventually got to his around 2.30 after having been in the car for over an hour. It then took another hour to get to Bluewater what with the traffic leaving
Wasn't sure how my mate wanted to play it ie splitting up or not so I thought I'd hang with him but after a few minutes detected that he'd probably be more comfortable shopping on his own. I headed off and wandered around the shops. Needless to say my normal shopping centre melancholy crept in. It seems that the people who head round the shops are divided into two categories:
The also-rans, the nothings, the uglies, the uncools, the geeks, the chavs and
The honeys, the cools, the switched on, the affluent, the beautiful.
No guesses where I think I inhabit. Walking around I realise how uncomfortable and awkward I am in the package/body/face that I reside. Yes I could lose weight but I would still feel a nerd, a loner, an outsider. My face doesn't fit. Bluewater and it's occupants bustle past me and I seem to move half as slow as everyone else. We had over three hours to kill so there was no rush for me and I meandered round.
I think I've been denied or starved of romance for so long and have given it such a fairytale corona that I know I'll never find it. I've been single and independant for so long that I don't even know how I'd deal with losing my freedom. I'm never going to find someone who loves me so completely that they will let me do what I want to do. Here I am thinking of getting an x360 yet if I had a partner I know I'd have to earn my time to play it. I'd only get to play it for a few hours before I received accusations of 'are you ever going to spend time with me / do some work around here / take me out'. I guess in reality I enjoy my freedom too much. Seeing arguing couples or the trivialities, huffs and moods so evident when moving round Bluewater means I should be grateful for not having to contend with that bullshit. Not having to answer to anyone, not having to defend or protect my obsessive enjoyment of films and computer games.
Why don't I feel this release then? Is it just because I don't have it that I want it. Do I just want to have my ego massaged from time to time by a girl to let me know that I'm still attractive to the opposite sex. Do I crave the completeness and fulfillment of a loving union but even when knowing that it doesn't exist still want to believe that it does. Is true love the adult equivalent of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy? Does my dis-enfranchisement from the rest of the population come from lacking the validation of one's self that someone loving you for you can bring? Have I become so far gone, been a bachelor for so long that there is no escape or last minute reprieve. I've never holidayed with a girlfriend and I've never been introduced to someone as 'this is my boyfriend'.
In many ways it's easy for me to dislike women, the trouble they cause and emotional wrangles that they put you through. Yet in reality they are the ultimate drug, the thing that can make you feel the most complete.
I did pick up some bits while there. I needed underwear and bits for
We pulled off and then heard a recurring flapping sound. Stopped and checked the car to discover a semi-flat tyre. Brilliant. We had to get to Blackheath for the fireworks and now had to contend with this shit. Limped to a nearby station and filled it back up with air. It hadn't gone completely flat so hoped that a blast of air might suffice. It didn't and five minutes later the sound returned. Pulled into another station and decided to change the tyre. I had to change it once on the Focus and I hoped this would be the only time I had to change it on the Fiesta. With three of us working it didn't take a great deal of time, though my mate did most of the work. Now we were running late, limited on our top speed due to the restrictions of the spacesaver spare tyre and I would be facing a new tyre bill of £130 with the inconvenience and time out of the office in getting it done.
Made our way to Blackheath but with less than half an hour to go to the fireworks and being less than a mile from the heath we hit snail pace traffic. At one point we were moving so slowly that I noticed the passenger of a car running alongside us had trapped her jumper in the car door. I waited for her to look over and told her that "your jumper's stuck in the door". Apparently the tone of my voice expressed my thoroughly pissed off-ness with the days fun and games and I might have well as just called her a stupid bitch. She thanked me but bro and mate couldn't stop laughing at the contemptuous way that I said it to her. I hadn't meant to come across that way. I didn't want to seem over eager in case the car remained next to ours and embarrassment ensued but I admit that I might have pushed it too far down the negative bar.
We remained stuck in traffic while the half hour firework display began at 8. We managed to see a sliver of the fireworks over the top of the trees and could hear the music, which did sound good (OHMSS, Phantom Menace). The exodus began when the fireworks finished and we thought that although we missed them we could still make the dinner that had been pre-booked at a nearby hotel. This wasn't to be the case either though as it took us another hour and 15 minutes to be allowed to get onto the heath as the police had closed all the roads. Eventually we parked up and raced in to meet the other three that had been there an age. I was relatively short tempered by this point and after being told to head downstairs by the front desk began looking for the restaurant. At one point I walked clear through the middle of someone's private 40th birthday function. I eventually found it and thankfully the girls had ordered the food and it was waiting for us in the kitchen.
Bro and I dispensed with the pleasantries and got stuck right in. I hadn't eaten all day and was famished so managed to clear the starters (breaded mushrooms, spring rolls etc) and main course (three sausages, mash, baked beans and gravy) before grabbing two helpings of spotted dick and custard. We retired to the bar afterwards and though I was driving and hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, felt pissed. I think the sudden intake of food, combined with the stress of sitting in the car for so long and walking round Bluey in my boots because I'd prepared for the cold of the heath must have taken an effect on me. My cheeks were rosey and I felt tired yet restless. Remained there for a few more hours by which time I wanted nothing more than my bed. Headed home, driving past Cave Austin and we joked about how mystery girl had probably been there that night. Her mate had probably scored and she was sitting all alone wishing that some guy in a novelty t-shirt and who had his own website, would come and talk to her. She'd probably be depressed at how she always made an effort in the morning to look good and went to the station in different routes and times to be noticed yet no one ever said Hi. Although we joked about it, knowing my luck it was probably true.
Sunday and I was up for 10ish, early for me, to phone round and see if I could sort out this tyre. Needless to say the places that were open didn't have my tyre in stock but could order it to arrive on Tuesday. Hit the local shops for a mooch but didn't really see anything. Thought I'd whip up a spag bol for bro so we could eat it when he got in from work and before we watched Mission Impossible III. Both were excellent and it was good to see Tom Cruise in action again. Like Warrior King the week before, it was nice that my first impression from seeing it in the cinema still remained. The gadgets are clever and functionary rather than silly and serving the gaps in the creators creativity and it contains a truly beautiful car.
A sporting result that went our way and mounting excitement for the X360 - 30/10/2006
Monday was a slightly easier day at work which allowed me to do a little more research on ign.com for forthcoming games on the X350. It launched last year and I've been keeping a watching brief on the machine and the available games for it. Call of Duty 2 launched with the 360 last year and it looked pretty awesome. It was still early days though in the development of the machine and at the time I wanted to wait a little longer. With Christmas now coming and better games coming out I think an X360 is on my list for myself as a treat. Call of Duty 3 looks incredible as does what is being touted as this Christmas's Halo on the X360, Gears of War. Bringing up the rear is Rainbow Six : Las Vegas. They are all shooters, look great and have specific elements that look impressive. Call of Duty is a first person World War II shooter that seems to have really captured that chaotic frenzy of battle, Gears of War is a futuristic third person shooter that looks innovative and exciting and Rainbow Six is a tactical shooter that as well as being set in Vegas offers a load of really cool shit.
All three are being released mid-end of November and I will be taking a keen interest in the reviews that they get. Of the three I should only really get one of them as you can't get totally immersed with two games at the same time but the temptation is always to have a spare incase the other one was better. The videos/ trailers that ign have been showing or letting you download all look brillo and it really helped re-ignite my desire to get one and have to play over Christmas. The good vibe continued with the knowledge that the next few weeks/months should be good fun. A few DVD's coming out that I wanted to get, some films I wanted to see, the X360, Barcelona and maybe some good nights before Christmas.
Got round at last to changing the home page message from what it has been since I set the site up. I think some didn't understand the irony in the statement so I've tried to make it a little shorter and explanatory. Hit the pool again that night and had a good one. I felt reassuringly tight and knackered afterwards and tried to lock away how good it felt to give me the stimulus on those times where I might be lacking resolve. Saw a girl when I was coming out who personified a part of what I look for in a girl. She wasn't stunning just pretty but I liked the carefree-ness of what she had got changed into. Her hair was still wet and she'd obviously just yanked on some clothes, nothing simple just jeans and a couple of tops but it was this ease and comfort within herself that just shone through. She came across as confident and practical yet still very feminine. Whether she arrogantly knew it or not she still looked good with hastily swept back hair and hurried into clothes. It reminded me of the female lead in Point Break. Even though her body isn't what I normally like I'm just so attracted to that raw sexuality that meant she could peel off her wetsuit, clamber into some cut off jeans without zipping them up and pull on a top and drive off to something more important yet still be so confident and alluring. I'm sure someone else could articulate better what it is I'm getting at but I hope you get the idea.
Early start on the Wednesday as had a client meeting first thing to discuss another potential big job. Getting up at 5.00am was a little tough and I confess to beginning to feel the effects of only having had two days off work this year. I'm not blaming anyone, my bosses are always saying I should but it seems a waste to take it off to sit at home and I don't want to go anywhere major on my own. Besides it's far better to continue saving and bro and I are discussing maybe going somewhere next year. I know the advantages of time off and maybe I'll try and grab a day here or there before Xmas but it feels good when we are busy and those times make me feel more like I've earned the trip to Barcelona and also in a way that I've earned my days of relaxation and excess over Christmas.
Picked up my boss from her place and had to laugh at the morning news while I grabbed a cup of tea. You know my thoughts on Rod Stewart from my rants section so seeing him on the TV talking about how he was ;hanging up his writing pen and going back to his roots' was hysterical. He hasn't written anything original in years and was obviously a plug for his yearly album of covers. We made good time to the clients and wasted some time in the large Tesco's which is nearby. I'd never really looked at the clothes in Tesco's. I'm not a clothing snob but my thoughts of supermarket clothing extend to Asda's George range and you know my contempt for them. Anyway Tesco's range is called Cherokee and I've got to say that they have some nice stuff. They had these cool mocassin, kicker style shoes for only £25 that looked really comfortable and perfect for work or walking in Barcelona. They also had some nice jumpers etc.
The quality looked really good and I'm not really a name person when it comes to clothing so I was sorely tempted. With the meeting in my mind and naturally a lack of my size for the shoes meant I shelved buying anything but I think I will be visiting another large Tesco's soon to get one or two items. This might prove horrifying to some readers and further indication of my getting older but when clothing is unbranded and purely for comfort and function then I don't see the point in paying over the odds. If it's a shirt for a night out, like the Ted Baker ones then it's understandable. If you are having a night out then you don't want to be wearing the same as someone else and are prepared to pay more for the exclusivity but if it's for work or pure leisure then it makes total sense. If I can just get the shoes that will put me in a buying mood and then I might go mad and buy a couple of tops. Crazy eh?
The meeting went well and afterwards we popped into Habitat to see what we could pick up as little gifts for some of our clients. The lights in there were great. They had these cool blue Christmas lights that were in the shapes of hearts and squares that would look wicked in a nice, sparse living room. I found myself dreaming about how nice it would be if I had my own place that I could make look good with lights and stuff. Gym that night was knackering and brilliantly I managed to forget my showergel. As I wasn't going on the hairdressers like last time meant I could just go home though I did have to wear an interesting combo of smart shirt and tracksuit bottoms as my gym t-shirt was sodden and I didn't want to replace my trackie bottoms with a pair of jeans.
Thursday and Friday was a lot of brainstorming on this pitch for our client. Brainstorming is good fun but the mental stimulation and lack of physcial activity can slow me down and I do find myself needing to take on crap food to keep me stimulated and energy levels up. More info was released on Gears of War and the other two games to keep my excitement levels peaking as I went into the weekend. Grabbed a couple of DVD's on Friday night along with a stop in to the Frying Pan. Another good chat with the two guys in there. They are really entertaining and sometimes I almost want there to be a delay in cooking the fish so we can talk for longer. They know of my website and demonstrated knowledge that they did by mentioning some bits from it which naturally impressed me. The fish and chips were even better than usual and I tried to wipe my guilty conscious as clear as my plate when I finished them.
Our first DVD of the evening was 2 Fast 2 Furious : Tokyo Drift. Ok it's no Oscar winner but I enjoyed the second film of this series with Paul Walker and found this one equally entertaining. I wasn't expecting high grade, high brow social commentary but it provided the thrills and spills that we wanted. We followed this up with Slither. It is directed by the guy (James Gunn) who wrote the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake, which I thought was superb. It was good fun. It was a little gross at some points, which did serve the story, and had a similar zombie-ish theme to it. Some of the writing and acting was excellent including Gregg Henry who plays the mayor and delivers some genuine laugh out loud corkers. Nathan Fillion, from Firefly and Serenity, was also in it and similarly very good. Nice to see him getting some decent work.
I knew Saturday would be a long lay in as the sleep bank was feeling very low on resource and needing a chunk of replenishment. 1 and 2's in the morning are fine but the sleep has to be replaced somewhere and the weekends are as good a place as any, well the only place to be honest. I grabbed a solid 12 hours before heading over to the gym. Did my normal 'I'll only give it 20 mins on the running machine' before pushing onto a full 45 mins, 6K and 500 calories. Followed this with weights and 15 mins on the cyclic before collapsing on a crash mat while I regained some strength. Steam room, sauna and shower but this time managed to forget my socks and boxers, meaning had to hit Sainsburys commando style. Not so worried about my tackle as the trousers weren't zipped but once you introduce a non socked foot to a trainer you can be in a world of hurt, especially when it comes to removing it and you accidentally pull out the inner sole etc.
The night was meant to have been a real lash up but we were let down by our usual cab/friend and I ended up driving. I didn't mind and my bro and mate offered to pay for a cab but we were going to Clapham and it would have cost a fortune. Up to mates for 1 1/2 hours of multiplayer Halo and then laughed as they downed a shot of Hapsburg each. I must get in training for this soon as I'm telling everyone at work how we will hit the Absinthe bar in Barcelona yet I've not yet had one of the Hapsburg. Last thing I want is to push everyone into having one and then it completely fucks me up! Headed up to Clapham and Inferno's to meet an old work colleague who was celebrating a birthday. I was wearing my 'Just waiting...' t-shirt. The three of us chucked £30 each into a whip and started drinking. The girl in question turned up. She's an energetic thing and as expected I spoke to her for literally a few minutes before she bounded off to chat to others within her party. Her friends seemed nice but they disappeared even quicker.
We headed upstairs to breath in the oh so familiar stench that must live in the carpet up there. Either the combined scent of everyone that fills up the room or the fact that you just get used to it means it normally dissipates after half an hour or so. The alcoholic drinks were beginning to hit the other two as the numerous Red Bulls were hitting me and we got down to a little boogie-ing. After getting incredibly hot and being bumped by one too many collar turned up 'rugger' twats decided to head back downstairs. Pushed our way onto the dance floor. It was quite busy but we were enjoying ourselves. There were some interesting characters up on the podium's on stage. I wouldn't criticise them for going up there as I've done it before but there were some interesting retro dresses and a complete wanker of a guy in a two sizes too small t-shirt.
We were dancing next to a bunch of girls and I leaned over to one of them and asked which of the girls on stage dresses she thought was worse. We shared a similar catty sense of humour and proceeded to poke fun at the dresses, the wanker in the t-shirt who was on stage and the relentless guys stalking through the crowd desperate to grab hold of a woman. Now I admit I'm always looking around but I'm not the type to pester someone, maul them or stand so close behind them that they can feel my knob rubbing against their bum. Her name was J and I gotta say that she was quite cute. She had a pretty face, sweet smile and a nice figure from what I could tell. We continued to laugh about stuff and I was really enjoying talking to her. It's always difficult as a guy when talking to a shorter girl. You tip your head down so they can talk into your ear but then have to turn your head away 90 degrees so they don't think you are coping a blatant eyeful of their cleavage.
We chatted about stuff like where she lived, what we did for a living etc. I was aware that her two friends were close by and I did try to involve them but they didn't seem as chatty. She told me she was 25 and I intimated that I was in my 30's but didn't specify. It was frustrating I enjoyed talking to her but didn't want to drag her away from her friends or seem pushy by offering her a drink. She was being nice and we were chatting, no need for me to start getting heavy like so many other arseholes. After about 40 minutes her mates looked really bored and they decided to head off. She said goodbye and told me I'd been a 'real breath of fresh air' which was a lovely thing to say. I expressed disappointment that she was going and then offered her one of my cards.
I'm glad I did as it means there is a chance she could email me but it must have looked cheesy. You can't win really can you. The cards are cool and a little bit different than the norm of giving your number. This way she can have a look and see what I'm really like but the fact that I keep them in a card case to prevent them getting mashed up makes it look like I regularly hand them out. The fact that they also look really cool implies that I've gone to masses of effort, when in reality working for a design agency means I got them done where I work. It was only the third card I've handed out all year but I probably came across as a player. Oh well, you never know, if she hasn't thrown the card away she might check me out.
We must have stayed for about another half an hour before heading off ourselves. As usual the late night munchies fuelled by their drink and my racing metabolism after the ten or so Red Bulls demanded we grab something. McDonalds was rammed so headed onto KFC. Pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered a sensible three piece crispy strip meal x 2 and a zinger burger meal. Naturally having drunks in the car meant that the request of anything else was met with a demand for a 12 piece variety bucket regardless of cost. Took our booty back to my mates flat and attempted to eat the mountain of chicken. I think in total we had nine portions of chips, ten crispy strips, eight pieces of normal chicken, a large popcorn chicken and three cokes. We gorged but I hit the wall close in and needed to resort to deep breaths as I felt my expanding stomach beginning to encroach onto my lungs. It was a lot of tasty chicken and my bro managed to put loads away.
The Colonel's secret blend of herbs and spices certainly had an effect on me on Sunday morning as I woke with the mother of all dry throats, which a large amount of water managed to remove. Settled down to watch the final race in the MotoGP series. Nicky Hayden who pretty much led through the championship had been taken out in the last round by his team-mate and was now 8 points behind Valentino Rossi, 8 times world champion. Vale was on pole and normally cool and decisive under pressure. Vale is an undoubtedly great rider and I have a lot of respect for his talent but I do tire of his ego and stifling domination of the series. Bro and I were both supporting Nicky though being back in 5th he had little chance of success.
The race started and Vale got a bad start while Nicky surged ahead. Vale was in 8th by the second lap but always has the knack of laying down a couple of storming laps and coming right back at the field. As Nicky pulled himself up to 2nd and continued to push hard we waited for Vale to start his attack. Amazingly the pressure got to him or there was something wrong with his bike but he made an unforced error coming into a corner and the bike slid away from him. He managed to recover it from the gravel but was way down in 14th. Bro and I screamed with delight. Ok we don't want to see Nicky win this way but after the last race's disappointment this was incredible. Vale tried to come back but couldn't make up any places and even though Nicky came in 3rd it was enough of a points gap for him to win the championship. We were chuffed to the max. Nicky always comes across as an honest, genuine and sincere guy who at least had the balls to stand up to Rossi and now he'd achieved his dream. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy and hearing him choked up when the camera's talked to him was genuinely moving. Rossi demonstrated what a big man he was by congratulating Nicky as they did the 'cool down' lap. It wasn't a token tap on the back but a proper look him in the face and wish him well gesture.
Ah, at last, a sporting event that we were watching that went our way. We couldn't believe it and it felt great to have seen it. Way to go Nicky. Spent the remainder of the afternoon doing some washing and watching Warrior King which I'd ordered on DVD. To those that have read previous entries, or the movies page, I'd seen this at the pictures about six months ago and it blew me away. It's impact had not been lessened in those intervening months and the violent creativity left me giddy again. If you want an arse kicking martial arts film that truly delivers the goods then I don't think you can go much further than this.
Followed this with Dog Soldiers after tea. Still such a great film. I think it has to be my favourite British film. Some people talk about Lock stock or Four weddings but the writing in this is just how real British blokes talk and the fact they play it straight, rather than hamming it up, only adds to it. I love the action scenes, the frenetic pacing, the cleverness of the script and the humour. It rocked my world when I saw it at the pictures and it's still just as good a film.
Talk soon.
Wrestling with clay - 23/10/2006
Was a quieter week with the come down from this big campaign evident in our workload. We still had stuff to get on with but it was a welcome chance for a breather without the ever present pressure of the campaign. Hit the swimming pool again that night. I steeled myself for an assortment of annoying slow coaches in the fast lane but there were very few. The coming winter and maybe the fact that it was half term for some seemed to keep quite a few people away. Indeed at one point I was the only one in the lane. It made me push as hard as I could but the four weeks absence was being felt by my lungs that just couldn't seem to inflate with enough air. I felt reassuringly tight and invigorated after the swim so it was good to have gone back.
Watched Spooks again which was entertaining for a Monday evening. It is a shame that when it first started the agents at MI5 just had to contend with tackling the nasty bad guys like racist thug groups, disaffected soldiers or international terrorists. Now though it seems they have to contend with all the above plus a government that contains not one decent redeeming member within it. If this is sold abroad foreign viewers must think we don't have a single honourable politician left.
Ordered some printed T-shirts during the course of the week. One, which was an idea from a regular reader to my site, says "Just waiting..." on the front and "...for you to make the first move" on the back. It might make some readers in a club of it smile, though one of my friends thinks it a little arrogant and gives the impression I'm saying 'form a line'. I see it as more self deprecatory myself. The other one is a cue from one of my observations and says "Potential sex addict" on the front and "If only I could get enough to know" on the back. As with all of these they are just meant as a bit of fun and potential ice breaker/conversation starter. Hell I've had more approaches when I'm wearing a messaged t-shirt than when I'm not. I'm currently toying with one saying "I'd rather be home wanking" but I fear this might be a little too far.
Didn't hit the gym on Wednesday and chose instead to spend some time with my bro after our little weekend spat. It was the first night of a few days off for him and I oversaw him preparing a spaghetti bolognaise from scratch. We chatted and drank some coke and it was an enjoyable meal bar the disappointing garlic bread. What is it with garlic bread that the more you spend the worse it is? We got some nice 'taste the difference' ciabatta garlic bread and it was woeful. We observed the correct time, heat and placement yet it was dried out and unappetising. From now on I'll return to the 89p garlic baguette's dripping with garlic butter. I tried to eat less bearing in mind I hadn't hit the gym but it was hard when the food was so nice.
Armin was really good on Thursday night and it spurned me on to download some more trance mixes for my nano. Downloaded two more ASOT's along with a two hour mix by Sean Tyas. This is the guy who did that awesome remix of Lost in Love - one of my all time favourite dance tracks and his set contained some real blinders. It's been a good few weeks, nay month or so since I've written up this journal with some fresh, new foot tapping trance.
Got some tickets for the Euromillions whose jackpot has now swollen to over £64million but still didn't win. Nobody else did either, which is comforting, so next weeks jackpot could be as much as £75million. Thoughts of winning this and how I would spend it are a particularly favourite place that my mind likes to go before eventually signing off into sleep.
Hit the gym hard again on Saturday and the mixes on the nano really helped. I still love the other stuff but it is harder to take your mind off the running when you know exactly the next track coming in. Making up your mind whether you like something or wanting to replay it keeps your mind off your aching limbs, which is never a bad thing. There were a few nice women in there but maybe this is because I went slightly later (more late afternoon) than I normally do. It sounds shallow and chauvinistc but eye candy in the gym can be both distracting from what you are doing and also motivating to make you push that little bit harder. After last week's time in the sauna I'm finding it a lot more bearable and now enjoy the sweating fug of the steam room followed by the drying but more body core warming heat of the sauna.
My brother had done an overnight delivery job and I agreed to pick him up to save the other guy he was doing it with having to run him all the way back to mine. I waited in this hotel car park and while I did I contemplated how fascinating I find them. You just can't help but wonder who the people are that are staying over. Are they down for a wedding, a business meeting, an illicit meetup or just going out locally. You just want to know their stories. It was only a Hilton but I love the idea of paying to stay in somewhere different, maybe because I've not done it a great deal, and find the idea of hotels really exciting and interesting.
Watched Brotherhood after I'd fed my bro up. He swore he would be able to stay awake to watch it even though he hadn't been to sleep since 6.00am on the Friday morning. I said we could defer to another day but his stubborn-ness said no and he seemed to really enjoy it which was great. We were up early-ish, ok 10.00 the following day as had promised to go down and help my friends brother (the one where we do the paintball) with work on this huge driveway that he is putting in. He's had to dig down through a load of clay and we were prepping this sweeping drive and circle with a fabric membrane to help when untold amounts of bricks were dumped in it to provide a hard foundation.
The day was pretty shitty and I knew we would get dirty. I wore my combats as I thought they would be the hardest wearing and maybe the easiest to clean afterwards. I also wore my digger hat, the one I'd bought for paintball but couldn't use as it wouldn't fit over the mask. Full combats, digger hat, orange gloves and wellington boots - I looked pretty cool! The work was entertaining, tiring but all good natured. I got wet or should that be damp reasonably quickly but the body responded fairly well and brought temperature up to a comfortable level. It was one of those dilemmas in dressing for. If you didn't move around you would be cold but if you put too many layers on would be too hot if you did start exerting yourself.
The clay we were working in was amazing stuff. You'd plonk your foot in it, something or someone would distract you and then when you came to pull out your boot moments later it would hardly move. At one point I feel backwards onto my arse which was hilarious and another time my brother had to come and prise my boot (with foot still inside) out of the clay with a shovel. He had it worse though as when we were rolling out the membrane he stepped backwards, then stepped again but managed to pull his foot completely out of the boot and back down into the clay before he'd realised what he'd done. His poor foot was covered in clay but he rammed into back into the boot and carried on like a trooper. I certainly managed to get dirty. Carrying bricks and small lumps of concrete to secure the membrane down meant I inadvertently held them to my chest, which naturally covered that in crap, along with that on my arse and what was up my trousers from the regular sploshing and squelching. I managed to go completely through the fingers of the gloves as well as spray clay across my face. We stopped for lunch at one point and then ploughed on until sundown burning off any excess calories. The digger performed very well with the brim ensuring the rain didn't completely soak my head but rather slide off the sides. It did though force the brim down over my ears making me look like a bassett hound.
Thankfully we'd taken a change of clothes and getting into them added it's own brand of humour. You reach that point where you are dirty and wet through yet your body has still found this warm statis which you know you are going to have to break to get into some clean clothes. It's like your body has grown comfortable with the dirt and damp yet taking it off will prove almost more jarring. There is also the added problem of trying to disrobe and not get your fresh clothes just as dirty. My mates brother offered us some dinner which my bro and I would happily have accepted but I think my mate just wanted to get home. It's understandable as he'd been with his folks the previous night and I guess wanted to get back to his gaff in prep for the coming week. Family meals, where everyone sits down and tucks in are, I'm sure, commonplace for him but for bro and me they are rare and I think we probably notice and appreciate them even more. I think maybe it's that warm, loving family thing which we can pick up more than say someone who has always had it. There's a kind of safety and peace and maybe even an insight into what really a proper life should be about. We had good fun and it was a great way to spend a sunday. It burnt some calories, we had a laugh and who doesn't like getting cold, wet and dirty now and again.
Drove home and I could certainly feel the effects of the rain on my face along with the rim of my hat which felt like it was still on, long after I'd taken it off. We ummed and ahhed about what to have for tea and decided to stop in at Noodle Time. It was ok, but my bro was disappointed with his choice and the food was ultimately unsatisfying. A classic indicator from me of this fact was walking in at home and immediately looking at the Pizza Hut menu to see what creation we could have got for the same money. When I eventually felt the eyelids getting heavy, I slept well.
Thanks for checking in, talk soon.
"You want me to show you tough, I'll show you tough" - 16/10/2006
Began the week by discovering that the campaign we'd all been working so hard on had been screwed up by somebody not doing their job properly (not anyone at our company). This was then compounded by said person launching a retaliatory email back to me. The way it was handled in the office did not please me and I felt a little let down. I understand the professional reasons for why it happened yet it's treatment caused ripples within that hung with me for a good few days.
It narked me off to the point of me not going swimming although when asked about it in the office I said I had gone to save face as I didn't want my new regime to look like it had stuttered even before it started. Watched Spooks, which although is just a shadow of series 1 & 2 still delivers the odd nugget of cleverness. There are though moments of silliness where I do grumble at the TV and the height of Adam's collars is becoming staggering.
On Tuesday one of my directors and I travelled to the clients to see the fruits of the work that the whole company had undertaken. We had to get there early to provide printed material to correct Monday mornings cock up but it was a real eureka moment when we walked into the reception to see material that we had produced on display. It made me immensely proud of the company I work for and the quality of work that we are capable of producing. The campaign director came down to meet us and despite being a very professional woman the energy of what had become 'her baby' being born caused an uncharacteristic embrace. It was really nice because here I was feeling chuffed at what we'd done and she was pleased with how it was all turning out. Yes there were annoying niggles (none caused by us I might add) but overall I could see she was happy, which was great.
We stayed until about lunchtime and then grabbed a spot of lunch at a simple harvester on the way home. I didn't go mad but it was still nice to be out for meal and I had a lunch of steak, veg and fries. It was a simple, inexpensive meal but you know me, a meal out is a treat and hence I loved it. I don't ever want to become tired of the wonder of eating out and I guess while I still find it hard to justify the notion of paying to have a meal out when I could have toast at home, I hope I won't.
Wednesday was still busy with final bits and pieces for the campaign plus other jobs that were coming in. Hit the gym that night and gave it a big shot. Saw myself in the mirror when changing and wasn't that impressed with what I saw. I tried to burn the image into my head to pull inspiration from next time I was beginning to slow on the running machine.
Bro came up and we sat down to watch the final double bill episode of Contender 2. The first match-up was for the bronze medal position but naturally we had to have the 'previously' section. Running through all the contenders that made up this series it was apparent, though we have known as it has gone along, that this series is disappointing compared to the 1st. There haven't been any team challenges and they were always great for establishing characters and highlighting what some individuals were really like, there hasn't been enough material showing the boxers getting some 'down time' in their quarters and interacting with others and the prizes for winning the fights have been weak, which again denied the viewer the chance to see how the boxers reacted to let you see who you did and didn't like. This series lacked the standout characters that last year had. In that one we had my faves Sergio Mora and Alfonso Gomez and my dislikes Peter Manfredo and Jesse Brinkley.
In this series I liked K9 because he was the underdog and maybe Steve Forbes because in his first fight against Freddie he was awesome and I wanted him to beat Grady. There had apparently been about 6-8 months between the end of the series (ie when it had been filmed) and the two fights in the Staples centre that we were about to see. The bronze fight was between K9 and Norberto Bravo. I liked Bravo and felt he got robbed against Grady. In the months away K9 had put in some serious work, more than the other three I would say, and came out looking very sharp and hungry. He always fought a bit bullish, seeming to hide behind his leading shoulder if an attacking flurry started. Because of this he always looked vulnerable if caught with a peach. In the series he had an air of the Frank Bruno about him. Strong and powerful when coming forward yet slow and lumbering at other times.
He'd got on his game though for this fight. He looked faster and more coiled than I've ever seen him. He'd done amazing work on his jab and just kept softening up with 1,2 or 3 jabs before unleashing the right hand bomb that was nearly always on target. Full credit to Bravo for soaking it up but his head was being snapped back time and time again with this devastating right of K9's. There was some crowd booing of K9 as they claimed he was holding and deliberately tangling up Bravo's gloves so he could hit him. It didn't look like this to me and indeed it was K9 that came off worse after a particularly nasty clash of heads. Norberto did stage a mini revival at one point and he was the crowd favourite but I gotta say that K9 just took him apart and was the deserving winner. K9 displayed grace in victory and did not act egotistically and even reminded the commentator how he had been dismissed by him two years previously. I liked the fact that K9 remembered that. I've got a lot of time for people who get changed and then go out of there way to prove that person wrong. With the way K9 looked and had so vastly improved I think he could have won the title had he been in the grand final. I would certainly have liked to see him land a few 'hurt bombs' on the side of Grady's face.
The main fight came on and it ran for ten rounds. It was very poor. Steve Forbes showed little of the flair or passion that he had done in his beginning fights and Grady used his extra power and longer reach to land more punches. Grady deserved to win but it was tedious display, especially after the earlier fight. If the show had been tetering on the edge of whether or not another series would be made then I think this will have consigned it into the bin. It's a shame it wasn't the same format as last year but I guess the makers can now claim that there is no market for a third, even though they were responsible for altering the show, which ultimately made it less involving and in turn affected it's popularity. Still it was good to have something to tune into and I'm still grateful to the makers for the first series, which was a real highlight of last year. I think it could have done with Sly's input but if he was away making Rocky Balboa (the trailer of which looks great) then I will take that sacrifice.
Thursday and we were back at the clients for a 'wash up' meeting to discuss how the campaign had been going and what hiccups we had encountered. It was great to have the chance to talk about all the people that had messed us around. It wasn't a witch hunt but at least a chance for our opinion and observations to be heard and appreciated. At lunch we went out with the campaign director which was really nice. As I said before she is very professional, yet it was nice for us to relax and talk about topics outside of the corporate world. ASOT was back on form this evening and it pushed me to download some more to listen to on my gym sessions.
We were quiet on Friday and I used the opportunity to begin to start some research on Barcelona, which will probably increase in intensity the closer we get to going. Watched two films that night with my bro. District 13 and A Sound of Thunder.
District 13 was a french film and a mix of Esape from New York meets Kiss of the Dragon. We did consider watching it dubbed but after literally just a minute of watching your brain just cannot get over the fact that the voice does not belong to the actor and we switched to subtitled. It made more sense and it was a very enjoyable film. I liked the two main good guys, the fighting and parcour / free running were very impressive and I even found myself warming to the French language. To be honest it's probably the first French language film that I've completely sat through. Ok there were ones when I was younger but I was only watching those late at night, with the volume turned right down and on the chance that there might be a little sex. It was a thoroughly entertaining film and the fight scenes showed a lot of invention.
We followed this with A sound of Thunder. Now I knew this could be poor as it hadn't been released at the pictures but it was directed by Peter Hyams who did Timecop, The Relic etc. I thought if nothing else it might be an average B movie. God, what a pile of shit. When trolls go on the IMDB boards of Titanic, Forrest Gump etc and claim it to be the worst film ever made they obviously haven't seen this. It was awful. Low rate CGI that looked like it had been created for a childrens TV programme. Lazy plot pointers like a technician dropping something in a shower of sparks and then forcing it into some device so it can malfunction later with disastrous consequences later. Annoying, cliched characters which were over acted and a yawn inducing set of ever increasing events that raise about as much tension as filling a bath. My biggest bug bear though was the cars. Timecop wasn't a bad film but the cars they used were appaling. These plastic, windowless, all white things that wobbled when they went over 25mph and displayed no viable reason why anyone in the future would buy or want one. They went one better in this and just had then CGI'd on a blue screen whose perspective looked all screwed up when the camera looked at the actors. Why as well in the future are there never any breaks in traffic, just a continuous stream of traffic with a regulation 6-7 feet between each vehicle?
Hit the gym a little later on Saturday but did my best to really go for it. Knocked out 500 calories on the running machine before hitting the weights and finishing on the cyclic machine for another 200. Got off the machine and was totally knackered having to gracefully collapse onto a crash mat as if I was going to start some crunches. Instead I spent the next five minutes trying to catch my breath back. Went into the steam room afterwards but there were two asians in there who were talking so damn loud, and finishing each others sentences, that I had to move into the sauna. It was nice to be somewhere different but it made little difference as their voices travelled through the wall like it was paper. I even felt compelled to comment on it to an attractive coloured girl, who was also in the sauna.
Left the gym in a surprisingly bad mood and hooked up with my brother at mine. I could tell my friend didn't want to go out, which was fine, and thought this was a good opportunity to go out with my brother. Trouble is that uncharacteristically we just weren't gelling together. I was worried that we would have a poor night, which I definately didn't want as had been building up us going out when he turned 21. I kind of deliberately picked a fight and we both said some things that we didn't want to. I love him to bits and he's my shining hope that I can affect something good in this world. I don't want him to make the mistakes I did and do want him to start living his life earlier than me, yet I don't want to corrupt him with my cynicism. I want to be there to share his experiences yet I don't want to crowd him or not provide the room to find his own path. He loves me and I think looks up to me yet I worry that under close scrutiny he'll see through the sham that I am just very average.
I found myself beginning to slip into a mood, man these seem to be happening more frequently, and headed out to return the DVD's that I'd got the night before. Thankfully where we were going to go out was virtually dead. Ok there were people milling around but it certainly wasn't busy and I was grateful that we hadn't tried to make it a big night. Mooched around, feeling like I was in some kind of bubble and took a wander into blockbuster. Decided to rent out Elephant which was the story of the columbine shootings. Something about people feeling lonely, disinfranchised and feeling the need to gun innocents down felt in keeping with my mood. I decided that if I was going to watch a film I needed some sustenance and I had a craving for some sea salt and balsamic vinegar kettle chips. I hit the nearby Asda's (only doing so because I wanted branded products) to discover they had no kettle chips. I contemplated returning home for a simple cup of tea but tell me I can't have something and I want it even more. Thus I drove further out to a Tesco's and walked round there filling my trolley with some un-needed crap. My crisps (the last packet of S & B ones in the shop), a few bottles of coke, Twix's that I developed a sudden craving for and other household products.
Elephant wasn't bad. It was a lot more slow moving and cerebral without a clear narrative. I don't actually know a great deal about the shootings and hence wasn't sure if the material was based on fact or the director's interpretation of it. Some characters lived and some died yet again I wasn't sure if the loose backgrounds painted for them were accurate or not. If it was closely aligned to the facts then I hadn't realised that the two kids had planted explosives, which failed to go off, to funnel the students into a central kill zone or that one of them actually shot the other. It was ok but didn't make a connection, humble or shock me. The entire packet of kettle chips that I demolished during it were very good though.
I'd been keeping an eye on the time as I was aware of a film on film4 that had caught my eye. I remembered reading some time ago about a korean film that contained Saving Private Ryan level scenes of battle but couldn't quite remember the title. It was called Brotherhood and I settled down to watch it. I've got to say that it was very good. The emotional scenes between the brothers and the idyllic life they lived before the Korean war kicked off were a little heavy handed but I find this a common thing with asian cinema. The battle scenes were genuinely amazing and I think outdid Saving Private Ryan. I found the story engrossing and could relate to the brother relationship at the core of the film. It didn't shy away from showing the horrors of war and you could see the genuine quality of the film in it's cinematography, music and overall feel. Another subtitled film but one I enjoyed immensely and would order on DVD during the following week.
Sunday was the penultimate round of the MotoGP. Nicky Hayden was 12 points in front of Rossi and needed to stop losing points to him. It was set up for what looked like an entertaining battle with Colin Edwards, Rossi's Yamaha teammate, doing a sterling job in second place holding people off. Nicky though was in the mood for a scrap but never got a chance to demonstrate this as his own team mate, Dani Pedrosa, seemed to get the arse that Nicky had overtaken him, came into a corner too hot and took them both out. Nicky was understandably furious with rage and the scenes of his fury pounding the gravel and swearing into a clenched fist echoed how pissed off I was. I couldn't believe Dani's stupidity. It's bad enough taking anyone out but your own team mate when he could genuinely win the championship is unforgivable. I was frustrated and thought it would turn into another Rossi whitewash but another Honda rider, Tony Elias, who hasn't done much all year but is probably fearful of losing his job went on the attack. Along with Kenny Roberts he overhauled Colin and then launched an attack on Rossi. He late braked Rossi and Kenny at the beginning of the last lap to take the lead at the end of the start/finish straight with an incredibly audacious display of braking, back tyre sliding out and everything. He held the lead until Rossi went past him halfway through the lap. Elias didn't quit though and literally sat on his back tyre round every corner. They nearly collided coming into the final chicane yet Rossi came out of the chicane and powered for the finish line. Elias was tucked right up behind to get a sliver of drafting and popped out at the last minute to ever so slightly surge ahead. He beat Rossi across the line by 0.002 of a second and I was chuffed. It still makes it incredibly hard for Hayden to win the championship as Rossi is 8 points ahead and can afford to come 4th in the final race but it was sweet to see Rossi beaten. Even the commentators who normally give Hayden short thrift, much to my annoyance, seemed genuinely sympathetic for him. That's racing as they say but it was still bloody annoying.
Went for my afternoon walk and found myself analysing my state of mind again. The demons that have been with me since my birthday don't seem to want to go away, dancing away in the recesses and waiting to pounce when I'm feeling low or bored. I walk past these smart houses with their two cars in the drive, double glazed windows and tied back curtains and I realise what a disappointment I must be. I'm never going to have this comfortable settled life. I'm not sure if it's I don't want it or just realise that I won't ever attain it. Most people seem to have their shit together, they are driven, they look to the long-term but I just can't. I don't have long-term goals because long-term never happens. Some people say life is too short and we don't have enough time on this Earth but I think we have too long. I'm 35 and I've probably got another 35 years of this. Who wants that? Everyone is worried about making enough so they don't die in poverty but if we had voluntary euthanasia by say 55 then some wouldn't have to worry about needlessly continuing this bullshit. Those that had futures, children, loved ones could remain but those without could just end it if they wished with no fuss or fears what the pain of being discovered would cause others. Whenever I hear nice pieces of music I always think I'd like this to be played at my funeral and I rarely think of a piece for my wedding. I think this is because the former is something I can rely on happening, the latter is unlikely.
Everyday I seem to become more and more like a guy I once met when I was younger. I was out with my aunt on my annual christmas trip to London where we would go the Hamleys Toy shop, grab a McDonalds and then go to the pictures. My aunt worked for local government and we bumped into this bloke in the cinema foyer that my aunt knew from her work. He was quite a sad, pathetic looking man, probably mid to late 30's and not very well turned out. He was eating an unbranded burger, waiting to see a film and seemed earnestly pleased to see someone he knew. The image of this guy lived with me for ages. In a city full of McDonalds, Wimpeys, Burger Kings, Wendys etc why would you buy an unknown burger, why was he going to the pictures on his own, why didn't he have any friends and why come to a city which would almost certainly make you feel even lonelier.
Yet I feel I am becoming more like him. I'm content to see a film on my own, I'm beginning to not see the point in making a special effort in my appearance when going out alone and I've been out where I almost want to exacerbate my loneliness. I wouldn't however buy a hamburger from an unknown source when faced with a range of known brands!
I'm trying to lose a little weight and I think this is also having a bearing on my darkened mood. Eating is one of the few pleasures or excitements and reducing this to still remain anonymous to the opposite sex is frustrating. I know it's sensible to keep trim and you should do this for yourself but frankly I couldn't care for myself. I know who I am and what I am. It's not great to look in the mirror and see the flab around my waist but in reality I know this isn't what is stopping me from finding someone special. Even more soul crushing is when I do lose it and look in the mirror again that I think 'you look great but no one can see it and no one really cares'.
I'm not depressed. I'm just using this as a sounding board for the differing stratas of thoughts that my mind can find during the course of a week and between Saturday evening and Sunday evening I certainly 'dipped'.
I watched the Matador again when I got in which was good to see. Such a great performance from Pierce Brosnan. Well I guess that wraps up the week. For all those readers that have got this far and still have not seen the relevance of this week's title then it is connected to a video a work colleague was sent. You can find it here at www.gougoule.com/violence/ and is a collection of ridiculous guys who assume they are hard with their martial arts skills but in reality are complete morons. With a stressful week it literally had me crying with laughter and we've continued to watch and quote it in the office. The first guy's oh so serious statement is priceless as is the black guy with the nung chukas who still attempts to swing them after his little accident. Hope you like it.
All work, a little play and a lot of food - 09/10/2006
Well I thought it was going to be busy this week and it was. Every day seemed to get progressively busier as we moved towards the launch date of this campaign we are working towards. We seemed to be either fighting fires, discovering things that hadn't been done or having to delay things as we waited for approval and swung dangerously close to deadlines that we couldn't miss. Through the shit and being messed around we all seemed to be working and pulling together more than usual. I felt in the thick of it and the shared experience was great.
I went in early a few mornings and stayed late quite a few nights. We seemed to eat lots of junk food to keep us going bacon sarnies, hot dogs, cheeseburger 'n' chips, KFC, endless teas and cokes. We had things being delivered, things being packed and prepared, delays with couriers and printers and a host of emails bouncing around from party to party. Despite the pressure we had fun and I downloaded the Hoff's new single 'Jump in my car' which although cheesy is good fun. I played this enough times for it to become synomonous with the end of the campaign. I really like the Hoff and I think a little piece about him in the musings/observation section of my site is in order.
By Wednesday we were kinda ready for the last push but couldn't start until some final items of print arrived so left at around 8.00ish. My brother came up and we watched the semi final double bill of The Contender. K9 vs Steve Forbes was the first fight. I like K9 though I confess he is more of a brawler rather than a silky boxer. He has a lot of power but he isn't very agile or quick and Forbes was out boxing him. The show seemed to be trying to make out K9 to be really bad for holding and punching to the head but it seemed that Steve Forbes was getting in close to tie up K9, leaving him no other resort.
Steve Forbes won and I gotta say that it was probably the right result. You could see K9 was initially disappointed at the result but showed his colours by complimenting Steve and embracing him at the end. The next fight was Norberto Bravo and Grady Brewer. I like Norberto and he did seem to be a good character though it has been hard in this show with such little un-manufactured exposure to the boxers to detect any characters. Norberto was this brave mexican and he put Grady on his arse in the first round, which was great. The next four rounds were tough to call but I thought they were level pegging with Norberto's knockdown likely to seal the win for him. Amazingly the judges scored all the rounds to Grady despite the knockdown. I thought it was the worst decision of the programme and we felt Bravo had been well and truly robbed.
Drove in with my brother on Thursday as he was working next door and we came in a little earlier. As we were coming through the village I spotted Mystery Girl. Amazing how they know just when to re-appear after dropping off your radar. The notion of seeing her again had slipped from my mind yet here she was. I tried not to excitedly check her out and my brother got a chance to see her. She still looked good and was wearing an interesting combo of puffy-ish skirt and some trainers. It looked different but she has the legs to pull it off. I wasn't mentally prepared and the traffic was moving slow enough that I wouldn't have time to get out and hand her the card. To be honest as well I wasn't feeling particularly self confident and thus don't think I would have done a good job. It was nice to see her again but frustrating that I know I probably won't spot her for another month or so.
Got into the office and it was onwards and upwards. We waited for the final items to arrive and got cracking. We were making up, collating and addressing boxes. My brother came round to help after he'd finished work and we formed a sort of chain as one of us would be responsible for putting certain items into the box, while another added more, someone else packaged them up etc. It was good fun though I did get hot enough that I had to pull off my jumper and work in my wifebeater. I know I didn't look like someone from an American boy band but it was either this or be sweating like a pig. We had music playing, naturally including the Hoff, and by working together managed to get it all finished by around 9.00ish, which was a lot earlier than we'd expected. Everything got tidied away and we tried to take the most unflattering looking shot of me in my wifebeater that we could. I'm sensitive about somethings but I know I've put a good few pounds on and thus am capable of laughing at myself when looking a little, erm, soft. We printed the image out and I've stuck it on the wall next to my desk to help motivate me when the office nut bucket is calling me.
The fact that we had managed to get these things done sooner than expected made it almost feel like a Friday night and I felt that I needed to reward my bro for all his help. I gave him the option of a takeaway and he went for the curry. Naturally I was heartbroken! Let's continue the week of gluttony I decided and it was very yummy. I'm glad I've rediscovered the pleasures of curry though I don't intend to have one every week from now on.
We had booked a van to take all the items we'd prepped the night before on Friday morning and after loading it with over 200 boxes we set to work tidying up the office. There were only four of us in and one of those was leaving after lunch but it was good to get the office cleaned, hoovered and returned to it's normality after the clutter and crap that had accumulated after the last three or so weeks. We finished in style with a pizza each and by golly mine was good. I normally go for a deep pan as I find the Italian thin ones are normally so thin that as you pick one up, the slice flops in half and all your toppings slide off into the box. On this one though (I'd gone for an Italian medium meat feast with extra pepperoni and mushroom) the crust was a little thicker and there was no 'floppage'. Every mouthful seemed to contain meat, juices and taste and it was great. All washed down with a cold can of coke and a post lunch conversation.
Thankfully because the cleaning had been done we didn't have to race around doing it so could let the food settle and talk about the campaign. The rest of the afternoon was fairly relaxing as we were down to just the three of us but with our late nights, early starts and all other manner of work I think we'd earnt a little 'down time'. I stayed late to complete two journal entries as my site had been forced to take a back seat what with our extra work load.
I managed to get the brake light for my car on Saturday. As you might remember the traffic had been an absolute pig the weekend before so I went an alternate route, parked up and walked to the garage. He couldn't track down which internal light I needed and hence I had to walk back to my car to get the manual to show him the one I needed. Needless to say the traffic today was fine and I could have easily driven to the garage. I got the brake light but after all the efforts to track down the interior light, they didn't have it in stock. Headed off to the town to put some money away and also get some shopping. I was going to attempt the start of the fitness regime so my idea was to cut right back on the amount of food I eat. I know some people like to diet and eat different things, cut things out etc but I'm more of I'd rather have considerably less and exercise considerably more. Shopping consisted of 6 eggs, sliced white loaf and a carton of orange juice. Onto the gym and it was good to be back. I had told myself I wouldn't go mad and I didn't, but I feel I'm cheating myself if I don't push myself. Managed to get out five miles on the running machine, one set on the main weight machines and a 15 minute burn on the cyclic trainer.
Wasn't in the mood for a big night out so simply went and saw The Departed with mate and bro. It was ok. I like Leo Di Caprio and he was good in this role along with some other big names including Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon and Martin Sheen. I always feel a bit uneasy with films about organized crime. I really hate bullies and they all invariably are, so I'm already feeling negative until they get their comeuppance. The story had a fair amount of twists, turns and surprises but I was conscious of it being a long film and the general consensus upon leaving was that it was alright but nothing more.
Sunday was the usual. Dug out a DVD from my collection, Batman Beyond, and watched that again. It's not bad and it's always good to see the Joker when performed by Mark Hamill but it's no Mask of the Phantasm. I was keen to keep up the exercise routine and donning my ipod went for an hour long walk. I think the puma trainers I wore were lacking in proper foot support and by the time I got back the left side of my left foot was rather sore. A ridiculously hot bubble bath went some way to ease this as did watching the film Glory again. Great film, which is all about the first black american regiment that was set up during the civil war. It's directed by Edward Zwick, the same guy behind The Last Samurai, and stars Denzel Washington (who won an Oscar), Morgan Freeman and Matthew Broderick. A really good film with rousing music and battle scenes.
Finally while I was considering going to bed on Sunday night I was trawling through the TV stations and came across the X Games on Ch5. I remember watching the very first 900 that was performed by Tony Hawk at one of the X Games and if nothing else it felt good that we'd seen the first when it actually happened. At this X games that I was watching they were doing Motocross tricks. They talked how the very first backflip had been performed 4 years yet here was a guy who might try the double back flip! As I watched he set himself up, went for it and pulled off the perfect double back flip. I gotta say that it was pretty amazing and again it felt so cool that I'd managed to stumble onto it and see it happening. Travis Pastrana was his name and full credit to being the first. I could go on about how do you even practice that but I think most would think all manner of similar things if they saw it. It's on youtube if you want to check it out, just type in motocross double backflip.
Talk soon.
Lost finishes and I lose my will to write - 01/10/2006
I must confess to finding it hard to regain my mojo in writing this up. My lack of visitors and the couple of bad reviews has led to me really analysing myself and thinking that it's all a waste of time. We've been really busy at work, which of course is great but it's meant that time is limited in the evening to keep this updated. But I've felt a little low. I've tried not to show it to others and maybe it's compounded by my birthday but I know it's been there and I think it's contributed to my inactivity of writing. There are emails I need to write to people and I've neglected some of the few internet friends that I really have. Everyone needs some down time I guess and maybe it's good to go away and come back afresh.
Some new features have been made available at the company that hosts the site and maybe I'll try and look at them and get round to updating the look and feel of this site. I guess what I've always liked about it is the content and I want to keep that going. I think if one starts down the road of improving the site it could become all consuming and I'd let the content go. To be honest though this is one of the reasons why I don't date my posts. My thoughts are my thoughts and hence not governed by what I happen to think that one day. If I put them down on here then that is what I think on that particular topic and if that changes I'll change it on here. I think I'm going to change the home page as I think many don't seem to get the sarcasm and irony in the opening piece there or that I'm trying to take the piss out of myself. Maybe I'll just try to concoct a witty piece that sums up who I am, maybe a few pictures will help.
So why the writing lethargy? I don't think I'm a shallow person but if we go deep and personal I think I do crave either attention or the act of trying to get people to like me. I have thoughts and views which fill this site and maybe having them enjoyed by others make me feel that they and I have value. I think the lack of time, coupled with my lack of motivation led to the delays in getting these journals up and any other content. It's funny but if others are down then I consider it my duty to make them happy, tell them how good they are and show them a better way. To this end it probably looks like I'm always happy but the demons that can come and make me down are always locked away. I try not to show them when others are around but they are always there beneath the surface. Anyway on with the show, or lack of it.
It was another double bill of Contender on Monday night. It's amazing it's like they just want to get the show over and it's making it hard to care as much about the boxers involved. First up was Michael Stewart and Grady Brewer. I thought after Stewart's knocking out of Ebo he'd be a force to be reckoned with but he was totally useless with a low workrate. Grady was running rings round him and it seemed either Michael couldn't punch him or just didn't want to, either way he lost and was right to. Next up was Gary Balletto and Norberto Bravo. I've not been able to gauge a great deal about the boxers but Norberto has stood out as someone I like and I wanted him to go through, which he did. Gary was still looking for the big bombs and simply became burnt out why Bravo just carried on going. Onto the semi's now, which once again are in a double bill!
Another client meeting on Tuesday as part of this campaign that we are implementing for one of our major clients. It's good work that we have produced and I'm proud to be part of the company that is producing it. Raced home for Spag bol (other half from Sunday) and to watch the final parts of Lost.
Some bits were frustrating I confess but that is the nature of a cliffhanger, so one can hardly complain about being left dangling. It delivered a lot to think about I thought. Background on Desmond and how he thought he might have caused the plane to crash. The bits where the huge magnet kicked in and everything started slamming into the wall or being crushed were great and I felt an emotional twinge when the letter from Penny dropped out of Desmonds book. There were mild niggles about how Charlie one minute is trying to pull Eko from the flames yet the next minute couldn't care less about what might have happened in the hatch. The curiosity which leads him to get involved in these things suddenly vanished after there was this amazing sound and all he was concerned about was snuggling up next to the fire with Claire. Also a tad frustrating that we end the 2nd series almost where we did in the 1st with no further clues about the Others. But I mustn't grumble. It's good to have at least one 'event' tv programme and the subject matter of this is still entertaining for me.
Stayed late in the office on Wednesday to do a CD for my cousin who was heading off to Honduras the next day (the one I'd seen at the weekend). I've got a playlist on iTunes of great melancholy songs featuring stuff from Lost, Crash, Halo, The Last Samurai, Forrest Gump etc which I burned onto a disc. I then produced a CD insert for it. I couldn't find the template on word so had to create it in powerpoint and then cut it out to place in the front and the back. It had two images of me in my parachute gear and when eventually it was done (gone 1am) I drove it round and slipped it through the letterbox to greet her on the morning of her flight. Hope she likes them. They aren't miserable songs, just the kind you put on when you want to relax and let your mind wander.
Thurday was a busy one and there was a real problem with a part of this charity campaign we are working on. I managed to resolve it and it made me feel a lot more useful at work and that I'd done something productive. I had to keep several of the clients in the loop via email, which I did along with injecting some humour, and I felt I'd made a worthwhile contribution. A friend in the office got a new dress for a ball she was going to and she looked really good in it. It's a shame women don't have more formal functions more regularly because I don't think you can beat a woman turned out in a really nice long black dress. ASOT was good tonight and it helped get me through the previous week's journal entry, though I did feel it lacked any real spark of electricity, the journal entry that is.
Friday was even busier and more stressful with another problem arising that made the previous days problem seem like nothing. An external supplier who we had to use to supply an element of the campaign basically told us that he couldn't supply the item 4 days before it needed to be sent off. This piece, which was integral to the whole campaign, had been ordered with him 5 weeks ago yet this useless piece of shit, who'd let us down on other items effectively washed his hands of the problem. With little time available we got on the internet to find a replacement and managed to arrange delivery of a compromise. Again it was fun to be involved at the centre of it and know that we had kind of resolved the problem. It will also make me feel that I earnt our trip to Barcelona when it comes around. After a heavy week we broke for a KFC lunch, which needless to say I ate way too much of. The fact that I know I'm soon to start the fitness regime (didn't I say this before my birthday!!) means I seem to be eating even more unhealthy shit. Oh well, it's only weight and that can always be lost as I've proved before.
By Friday night I was looking forward to the chance to relax over the weekend. Stayed for a few hours in the office to avoid the traffic and hit the vid store on the way home. There was a guy in there who just stuck. He was a young-ish bloke, late 20's who seemed to consider himself a geezer but he just reeked. Even when he moved away from me to go to the counter the smell just hung there like a rotting carcass.
I seemed to get up early on the Saturday and completed the trivialities of another weekend. I needed to get a brake light bulb for my car and the garage closed at 1.00pm. I got on the road at about 12.10 and then sat in traffic for all that time while we attempted to crawl along this goddam stretch of road that they been working on for ages. I knew there were roadworks but I hadn't expected them to last for this long. By the time we got to the garage it was 1.15 and rage was at boiling point. They had a road works sign up saying 'Extreme delays, seek alternative route, commencing 9/09/06 ending.....' They knew it would take so long they hadn't even put an end date on it! The lack of attention and work by the lazy fucks in this country does my head in sometimes. How the hell does a construction company go to a council and say 'Yeah if you want a new roundabout in it's going to take 18 months' And of course when you drive past no one is ever working on it or if they are it's some retirement age moron aimlessly moving a traffic cone backwards and forwards.
Headed onto Bluewater as I wanted to show my bro this shirt in Ted Baker. I was looking at them when this rather buxom, low cut wearing shop assistant came over. I struggled to look at her eyes but was more embarrased and self conscious when I asked on the sizing system. I'd been looking at two shirts which were a 6 and 7 yet she told me a large was a 4. I know my weight is my own fault but she might aswell have said the 6 and 7's are reserved for the really fat fucks. I grabbed a 5 and shuffled over to the changing rooms. It was a little snug but I didn't like the colour and we left the shop. I chatted with bro about the amount of women strolling around bluewater and how much effort many of them seem to go to. I think the black clouds were coming over again and I found myself questioning the importance of making an effort when going to the shops. Ok I'm not saying go in dirty clothes but if you aren't buying clothes for work or going out in the evening then whats the point in buying them to wear back to the shops? I understand that it's good to look nice and the advantages it brings to your self confidence but I do a lot of things for particular reasons. When I drink it's for the effect rather than the taste and if I doll up nice for a night out its to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex, whose company I'm likely to be in for the next 3 to 4 hours.
When going to the shops what is the point. I've been shopping for over 20 years of my life and I have never got chatting to or made a connection with a female on a shopping trip. I wasn't trying to make my brother as cynical as me and I realise that it's the first step in becoming old and senile when you believe you can wear the same clothes for 30 years but my belief that I'll never meet anyone out is so low that I'll naturally be clean but resigned to throwing anything on because there just simply isn't any point in making an effort. Found happiness in McDonalds who have relaunched their wedges, which always go down well.
Went to my hairdressers as the 'mo' had almost grown out. My hairdresser asked what I wanted and I said "same again but shaved a 1 at the sides and shorter on top". He seemed surprised and pleased and started shaving. I must confess there was a quick cold sweat flushing from every pore when I saw him start to shaving a 1 but as he said it would be a 1.5 by Monday. What the hell I think, it's pretty cool and different and I might run with it for a few weeks / month.
Hooked up with my mate that night and headed into Blackheath to our usual haunt. We were having some fun and bro and I were making him laugh with stories of P (my bro's dad and my step-dad) They were non-malicious and his quirks are highly entertaining. We bumped into a girl that we'd seen before in there and had gone back to their apartment (nothing happened) and she joined us with another friend (N). Bro and I got chatting to the new friend partly because my mate was chatting to the other girl and partly because I don't like her. I find her rather pretensious and shallow. At one point she criticised my brother about something and another we bought her an aftershock and went through with her how she should drink it, ie take it in, swill it round, swallow and breathe in through your mouth. N had just done this and enjoyed the eye watering experience. Even though we had bought her the drink this girl just swallowed it straight away. We said to her did you hear what we said and she stared at us blankly. I hate that attitude, you think yourself so cool because alcohol doesn't affect you but we were doing it to have some fun, not as a pissing contest.
Bro and I concentrated on N who was far more entertaining and we shared stories of America, being a slave to your mobile phone when you are expecting a text and the joy of myspace, faceparty etc. I was tempted to tell her about my site but thought I'd hold fire. We headed downstairs to the disco part and continued to have fun with N though her mate was trying this ridiculous game of trying to make my friend jealous by chatting to other blokes, even though we'd just paid for them to get into the disco part. My friend is a good looking guy so trying to make him jealous is a foolish game as he simply turned on his heels, broke into conversation with a group of girls and had them eating out of his arse within 5 mins. One of this new group of women was a 40+ Paula Yates lookalike who was pissed out of her nut. She kept lurching forward and running her hands all over me as she attempted to string a sentence together. I don't mind some contact but she unnerved me and I hoisted her onto my bro while I went to the toilet and when I returned could see he was just as uncomfortable with this smashed, groping woman. I signaled to my mate that we needed to evac as I thought it wouldn't be long before this woman got cheesed off that we weren't reciprocating her attentions. There ain't nothing worse than a scorned, drunk older woman. It was a shame to leave N as she was quite good fun but I really didn't like the other girl and was happy to get away before the two faced cow started pining for a lift home.
Watched The Game again on Sunday, as I'd picked it up in a sale the day before. Bro hadn't seen it before and enjoyed it, just as I did. Michael Douglas is excellent in it, he plays those kind of driven yet measured with his words characters so well. It does raise some interesting points about the dangers of becoming either so work focused or obsessed than you can descend down a path that only has once conclusion. I'd also bought Hellboy, which I'd really hoped I would like watching again as I really like the director and lead actor but alas no. It still has some cool stuff but just doesn't mesh together in the same way that Blade II does. I tried to like Hellboy and the girl he fancies but couldn't and really didn't like his FBI handler.
The coming week is the last one before the campaign launch so I'm expecting some late nights and early mornings at work. I'll fill you in on the further meanderings of my life soon.
The joy of Curry and Canary Wharf - 25/09/2006
Grudge match in Contender on Monday night with K9 and Walter Wright going at it. It was a dirty, messy fight and Walter decided he wanted to brawl with K9 rather than stick with his silky smooth style. I didn't like his brash arrogance and I think it was a foolish of him to try to tear it up with K9. K9 is the underdog but his lumbering style did little to impress and overall it was a disappointing fight.
My brother was working next door on Wednesday and after he'd done he came to join me where I work. As we were still in the glow of our birthdays I suggested we try out Wagamamas as I'd wanted him to experience it. We decided to hit the one in Canary Wharf and headed over there, which after parking up proved to me how easy and trouble free it still was to visit. I hadn't realised that my bro had never been so once we left the confines of the shops and headed out into the main building area his excitement was contagious. To be fair I love sharing new things with people and Canary Wharf has this amazing quality about it. Heading down into the main piazza in South Quay outside the entrance to the station and looking back up at the Tower is awe inspiring. Everything is just so clean and tidy with the 'lovely' people walking around and enough polished marble and recessed lighting to satisfy anyone. It was a mild evening and drinking in the atmosphere of this place was just intoxicating. I just love how each building tries to unashamadely outdo the other in either the size of mostly unused vast foyers or the number of visible atriums it has.
There is so much attention to detail and the use of lighting and glass in the design and layout of buildings and leaves you with nothing more to do than just stand with your mouth open and hands on your hips. Even the station is great. Take the escalator down and this huge cavern just opens up. It's like what you imagine a huge station in America might be like. We moved through the marbled corridors that criss cross underneath the area to come out in what was another plaza area. This seemed to be the restuarant area with a bevy of cool places to eat. We took a short escalator up to the glass fronted Wagamamas and got shown to a table. Even though it was around 8.20ish it was still buzzing in there with plenty of people having come from work. It always makes me wonder at what point it is that you get to when going out for dinner becomes purely functional and a means to take onboard nourishment rather than having a nice meal out.
Either way I still take real pleasure in the treat of eating out, no matter what or where it is and tonight was no exception. I played it safe and had what I enjoyed before which was still yummy. My bro enjoyed the starters but thought the main (he had the same as me which was the breaded chicken with rice and a curry sauce) a little bland. I went for the ginger cheesecake for dessert which was mucho nice and had that pleasant bite of ginger. You know the kind that initially makes you think that is enough but then you feel compelled to have another piece. We left and decided to wander around the wharf a little more marvelling at the architecture and just taking in the general atmosphere. It's funny that we were so impressed with it's design and cleanliness that I think if we'd spotted any rubbish we would have probably picked it up and placed it in a bin. The place has just such a great feel to it. Without the hustle and bustle of people rushing around it has this calm air of excellence which is palpable. I would love to take a girl to see it because it would be nice to show someone something so cool, it would give them the chance to see me genuinely excited about something and it would also allow me to see that if it didn't impress them they probably weren't the kind of person I'd be interested in.
We walked over to the river to see the restuarants on the front and the location of the four seasons hotel. It's right on the bend of the Thames so rather cleverly you have a view of the City infront of you, some might say representing the old and Canary Wharf behind you representing the new. The hotel even has a pool as part of it's gym complex which is in this glass walled building overlooking the Thames. You can imagine how iconic a view it is if you wanted to film a movie set in London. Also makes you wonder what kind of money and lifestyle you would live if you happened to be the one on the inside doing your lengths with such a great view as your backdrop.
Needed to work late on Friday night and gave bro a bit of a runaround as I'd said we would do something. Felt bad and picked him up en route, hitting the vid store to pick up Silent Hill on DVD before going to an Indian takeway. We hadn't had a curry for ages. The best one we know is a few miles away and it always had the perception that it would be hideously expensive. It wasn't and we sorted ourselves out with poppadoms, naan's, tikka massala and bombay potatoes. Man, it was good. We both like food as you know and I'd forgotten the pleasures of tearing off a lump of warn naan, dunking it in massala sauce and popping it in my mouth. We retired to the comfort of the sofa to commence the film but despite having some 'far out' images and a twisting plot we found it a little slow and coupled with the weariness of the week I had to stop it half way through and hit the sack.
You'll all be delighted to know that I put some quality hours back into the sleepbank on Saturday. Bro wasn't working so after finishing off Silent Hill, which to be fair didn't get any better, bar this crazy scene with these faceless buxom knife wielding nurses, we played some more of the Xbox game I'd got him for his birthday. I don't know if it's down to the violent nature of the game and/or it's difficulty level but the level of obscenities that left our mouths whilst chopping, slashing, impaling and decapitating roman soldiers was so high that it became almost comical. Highlights included "Eat dick, you monkey piece of shit", "motherfucker, I'll fuck you up", "I'm going to cut your arse off and feed it to you" and "Don't cry wolf me with you old bastard or I'll kill you myself".
That night bro and I went out with my two female cousins in Beckenham. One of my cousins is back from Korea and it was great to go out with them both. I wasn't sure how the night would turn out as both had confessed to not enjoying getting blaggered or dancing. I needn't have worried as they were both great fun. We had some drinks outside, I was on the red bulls as I was driving, and we were having a damn good laugh. There were plenty of honeys out as well in Beckenham and I confess that our eyes must have done a little wandering. We moved inside and over to a corner where we continued to have some drinks. The bar was lively and towards the end we managed to grab a few dances on the dance floor with them, which pleased me. We blasted up to the Tea hut as we were hungry and one of my cousins hadn't been there. I wanted to complete the night in style and what better way than with some quarterpounder egg burgers and a cup of tea. It was nice to be out with them and see a different side to the one I see at Christmas and Easter. I know I'm just as much to blame for not seeing more of them but I really enjoyed it and I hope they got to see me in a different light as well.
Accomplished very little on Sunday. Watched the MotoGP, played some Xbox and cooked a great spag bol. Talk soon.
Birthdays, bad reviews and a disturbing similarity to Scotty Pelk - 18/09/2006
NB: Quick apology to those one or two regular readers that I have. I've been busy at work as well as socially, which coupled with a little de-motivation led to this delay in posting. I'll try and get back on track soon, thanks for your patience.
Christ this traffic is getting even worse and work getting even busier, though the latter is not a bad thing. It's good to be busy and keeps the money rolling in. Contender was Steve Forbes vs Nic A? and it was a good fight. Steve is a very good fighter but Nick showed some real balls and took him to the wire. Nick wasn't as proficient a boxer as Steve and I felt that if it went to a split decision they would probably give it to Steve as he was the better boxer. Steve didn't show boat as much and did look knackered by the end of the fight. I think Nick had good reason to be pleased with his performance but it was fair that Steve went through.
Stayed late in the office on Tuesday and when I eventually got round to leaving it had started raining. By the time I was close to home it was seriously pelting down. I had the CD off as the rain hitting the car was so damn loud and the road so awash with water that it felt like I was driving in a river. There was no one else on the road and it felt like I was the last person alive. Out of nowhere there was this flash of lighting that surprised and genuinely unnerved me. I think because I hadn't expected it and there was nothing else on the road that I was suddenly very wary. I found myself looking at passing lamposts and trees and reminding myself that it the lighting came closer it would the higher objects that got hit rather than mine. I even found myself double checking in my mind whether it was an urban myth or true that if I got struck by lighting I'd be safe because of the rubber tyres. Would the amount of water on the road negate this? Childish really and I'm puzzled to describe why it spooked me but it did and I was relieved to park up and get indoors.
After having wrapped them in the office I stopped round at my bro's on Thursday night to give him his birthday presents. He was 21, so the big one and I tried to get him something bigger than normal. Needless to say that at soon as I gave them to him I felt guilty that I should have done more to reflect the special-ness of the day. I got him a 4gb nano which I think he was made up with along with the DVD of The Warriors, which he has liked for some time. I also got him a bottle of 89.9% Absinthe. The two of us have always had this thing of trying to find the strongest spirits that we can find. There's something about feeling unnerved and wary when contemplating downing an Absinthe shot and finding this baby has nicely raised the stakes. Even the label on the bottle warns about not drinking it neat, which we do, and keeping it away from naked flames. My bro had a shot and I had a tiny drop and it was awesome. It made every hair on my arm stand up 30 seconds after downing it.
Friday was my day in the office, as my birthday was on the Sunday, but unfortunately we were really busy but I still received a better share of cups of tea. Being my birthday meant I could choose the hot lunch and I plumped for some pies that one of my colleagues collected from a great shop next to London Bridge which is imaginatively titled Pie. We got the table out and enjoyed our respective pies along with chips, beans, mushrooms, runner beans and buttered rolls. It was then present unwrapping time and I did very well. Got Film Geek and The Matador on DVD, the Halo graphic novel which I'd asked for, Lee Greenwood's Greatest hits (it's got God Bless the USA on it, which is the song that was played at the Bellagio Fountains) and a designed T-Shirt specifically for our Barcelona trip.
My site was reviewed by another review site called Ask and You shall receive. They offer a more thoughtful and considered review than the other 'fuck off and die, you loser' one. Despite this they still panned the site which stung again. I know, I know, I shouldn't submit it but you put yourself on the web for others to read your thoughts so requesting someone to actually tell you doesn't seem that odd to me. They criticized the length of posts and basic template design. Some say it's confusing in layout and what it delivers to the reader.
I know I'm biased but surely it's the simplest form of design. If you visit my site for the first time and you want to know something about me you check the topics on the left hand navigational bar and then scroll down until you find a sub title of interest. Surely that's simpler than scrolling through archives of daily entries to find the ones where I moan about women or supply hugely important cooking tips. If it can't be all singing - all dancing then you need to make things as clear and simple as possible and I can't see how this could be any clearer. Isn't it also one of the purest forms of blog by allowing the reader to get into my head on a range of topics almost immediately.
I think it helped de-motivate me to getting these latest journal entries written. How can I be so mis-understood? Is my use of language so alien to everyone else. I concede that it isn't all flash and bang but as I've said before I think you can judge a person more by how and what they write rather than a flash picture or colourful font. Maybe I am boring, prone to waffling but I read other blogs to get inside people's head and I think a daily paragraph of copy does not allow this. I want my site to be an online representation of me and maybe to others this is what I am. Oh well.
My brother met me at the office and we headed into town to celebrate his birthday. I'd booked a table at my favourite Italian restuarant, which is in Wapping, so we grabbed a few drinks in Shad Thames overlooking Tower Bridge. The Thames and London are still very impressive and it was good to be relaxing with my brother, chatting about work etc. We headed over to the restuarant which was booked for 9.30. Whilst my brother went to the toilet I quickly told the waiter that we were celebrating my bro's 21st and could we not get a seat in the darkest recesses. He also offered to prepare a cake or something which was fine. Having been told recently that we don't look remotely similar I was also keen to let the waiters know that he was my brother rather than my gay plaything!
They do this cracking thin crust garlic bread pizza thing, which was excellent and despite having yummo garlic mushrooms as well for starters went for the tagliatelle with mushroom for the main course. It sounds very un-daring I know but I haven't been to this restaurant for a few years and this was always my favourite dish, so how could I not. Liberally doused in parmesan it was lovely and we had a nice chat and drank in the atmosphere while we ate. The football manager, Harry Redknapp, was eating a few tables away from and must have been tipped off that we were going to be there! They took away our plates and while I decided what dessert to order (I was already stuffed but what the hell) the waiters brought out a tiramisu with a candle. We sang Happy Birthday to thoroughly embarrass bro and then shared it with two spoons.
We did consider hitting the cinema afterwards but instead headed home to check out one of my birthday DVD's Film Geek. It's a small independant film and I had seen a trailer of this about six months ago. We produced a t-shirt using the films strapline and I'd even written to the director to offer my support and tell him that I was looking forward to seeing it. It was a good film. The main character was a film geek and shared quite a few similarities to me. I might not dress as dorkily as him but I certainly share his passion for films, breasts and my website. In some places it was done on the cheap which you expect for such a low budget arthouse film but the script displayed intelligence, I certainly made a connection with the main character and I really enjoyed it. After all the months have passed since seeing the trailer, it was good to see it and not be disappointed. The leads character wasn't hostile and his geekness was because he wanted to connect with others. Colleagues at work who also saw it thought there were many similarities and reckoned that I should have been a technical advisor to add another layer of geekness. Maybe I could have added a piece about the disparity between the size of the actresses breasts and scantliness of clothing on the cover artwork opposed to the size of breasts within the film. I mean really if marketing tells them that large breasted women are more appealing on the cover to the target audience then why don't the casting directors follow this same advice - there you go classic geekness!
Saturday was the midway between mine and my brothers birthday and it was kept lazy. We played a game that I'd got him through his dad called Spartan. I think I mentioned it before but it's this hack and slash game that is pleasingly violent, very well made, has excellent music and can be very frustrating. Cups of tea were interspersed with dramatic walk aways from the console accompanied by heated swearing and complaints that it was 'impossible'. Normally the other one of us would be laughing as we took the controller to have our go only to then be doing the very same thing five minutes later. Went up to collect my friend later on and I wore the 'FIRE' t-shirt that a work friend had got me. She knows my contempt for fireman and it is actually a branded piece of LBF merchandise but the fruit of the loom t-shirt is a really nice fit.
Brother and mate had a full shot of Absinthe which shook them up nicely and my mate later confessed got him pumped and ready to party almost immediately. He wasn't pissed but he certainly felt more chatty and sociable than he would at such an early stage of the evening. We headed to a local bar which had a great smattering of nice looking girls before moving onto our usual haunt with two female friends. Even though it was the first time in what was such an iconic place for me we didn't move downstairs and just continued drinking and chatting upstairs. I was driving so wasn't drinking but bro and friend were entertaining as they consumed a fair chunk of shots. I even saw one of the girls who I think used to work at the gym but when I was last there (yikes it was a fair few weeks ago) didn't look like she was working there but just using the facilities. She always used to look quite cute but brushed up and out on the town she looked very nice. I managed to articulate this to her as she walked out of the door and she gave me a beaming smile, so I hope she enjoyed receiving the compliment.
Dropped the girls off afterwards and as the Blackheath tea hut had a huge queue headed on to the all night McDonalds. Can you believe that they don't have cheeseburgers on their all night menu? I mean really this is McDonalds and you can't get a cheeseburger. Drunken bravado kicked in from my brother who proclaimed we could eat masses so we ordered 6 large quarter pounder with cheese meals and a box of twenty chicken mcnuggets. It sounds gross but it was the birthday weekend (like I need an excuse!) and we hadn't eaten much during the day.
Sunday was my actual birthday but most of my presents had come through at work. I think I suffered from the classic not knowing what I wanted to ask for my birthday until about two days before it. MotoGP was in Philip Island and it started raining which threw the cat amongst the pigeons and allowed Melandri to grab a win which was good to see. Disappointing to see Gibernau lose his nerve on the very last corner of the last lap to allow Rossi to sneek through and grab a place on the podium. We moved on to my Aunts in the afternoon for a family get together which was nice. I got a good family who I like and get on with and it was great to see my cousin who was back from her time in Korea, though she's only back for two weeks or so before clearing out to Honduras. Chatting to my cousins etc made a nice end to the weekend.
Schools back, Ana-Lucia is dead and the Hostel was fully booked - 11/09/2006
Schools back and after the joy of a less stressful journey into work for the last month or so the daily grind has returned. You tell yourself at the beginning of the holiday season that you will try not to get used to it but you do and the return to the joy of sitting in traffic is even harder to tolerate. I've tried not to enter Blackheath later, but have and thus can't be sure if this is why I've missed mystery girl or that she's just gone AWOL again. Either way, and to put you out of your misery, I didn't get to see her all week. I know what will happen though. I will get to the stage that I stop looking for her and then she will suddenly cross the road in front of me.
It was the last of the first round in The Contender and thus it was a double bill of fight night. Unfortunately my brother's job forces him to work late on a Monday until 9.00pm. This is just when The Contender starts but I can't watch it without him as the show is intrinsically linked to the two of us, and also my best mate. This then requires a fast but safe evac from Bluewater and back home. We missed the first fight but did catch the second which was great.
Steve Forbes, who looks like a potential winner, was up against Freddy Curiel (sp?) who hadn't fought for about three years. The last boxer that I hadn't seen fight for so long was Gary Baletto in one of the earlier rounds. Gary's aim was off and he did look ring rusty but full credit to Freddy who looked sharp and hungry. Steve might have technically outboxed him but Freddy's heart was amazing. He would soak up punishment and keep on coming. In the first round he was so pumped that at one point he pushed Steve back onto the ropes Ivan Drago style and just unloaded. It was a really exciting fight and although Steve did deserve to win it was a shame that Freddie couldn't have progressed further as his performance was certainly better than some of the others that I've seen. What a great show this still is. The music is great and it really is raw, emotional drama in it's most vivid. These guys really do lay it all on the line and you can't help but feel humbled and thoughtful at the end of it.
Another double bill on Tuesday and this time it was Lost. After last time's disappointment it had some making up to do and it certainly delivered some juicy titbits. Michael returned knackered and worse for wear. He claimed he'd seen the others camp. Henry, the Other guy that they captured, tried to kill Ana-Lucia (AL) and Locke saved her. I hoped this would lead Locke to realise that he couldn't trust him but it didn't immediately. AL got herself a gun to kill Henry but couldn't do it. Michael offered to do it for her and then amazingly shot AL and also Libby when she accidentally came down into the hatch for some blankets. I must confess to having a jolting moment of surprise and I applaud the makers for that. AL died almost immediately and Libby lasted to the end of the episode but didn't get a chance to say who had killed her. Michaels reason's are strange. Has he been turned, was he made to do it to get back his son or has he done it to ensure that Jack and co will be fuelled by hatred to wipe out the others. Intriguing stuff and with I believe only two more episodes to come feel we could be coming up to a nice cliffhanger. I won't mind a cliffhanger as long as they give me something juicy to chew on over the break.
In another plot twist Locke and Mr Eko went into the forest following one of Eko's dreams and found another hatch. In this one it was revealed to Locke that they were basically typing in the numbers purely as part of an observed social experiment. The hatch Locke and Eko were in had secret cameras to theirs and other hatch's, which you couldn't see, and after watching an Orientation video it was clear that the initial purpose of the hatch was that of an experiment. Mr Eko still believed they had a purpose, citing some religious mumbo jumbo but I think Locke was having doubts. I do hope he tells Jack about it and not continue the annoying act of not telling other people pertinent information until it is absolutely necessary.
A good double bill and it certainly delivered some surprises, not least of all in the killing off of two main-ish characters. Ok they might have only been introduced in this series but it still reminds you that the makers aren't afraid to do it, which is certainly encouraging.
Had a bit of a Halo resurgence during the week. With my forthcoming birthday I thought I'd treat myself to the second volume of the Halo 2 soundtrack. I realise that will ratchet up my geek rating by a good few points and am prepared to take that on the chin. The first volume was good and had some decent pieces but it did suffer from my pet hate of 'music inspired by' tracks that were not needed. Four 7-10 minute pieces by Incubus for pity sake! In the second volume the composer has basically taken all the music from the game and arranged it into an assortment of suites. I loved the music during the game and I think playing it will serve me well when I eventually get round to writing down my thoughts on Halo 2.
We called Thursday 'Big Thursday' this week as there was a lot to get done and due to breaking the back of it by lunchtime lashed out on a KFC. Needless to say I enjoyed it though there was a tinge of guilt. I have decided that I'm really going to hit back the gym and dieting after my birthday and use Barcelona as a focal point, just like I did with Las Vegas last year. Until then fuck it and I'm gonna eat what I want. State of Trance was ok but a little forgettable if I'm honest and I seemed to mooch around the net aimlessly. Sometimes the net can really make you feel connected to the world and other people but other times it can seem the loneliest place in the world and this was one of those times. I headed home late and maybe because of the way I was feeling wasn't 'blatting' it. A police car pulled in behind me on this one piece of dual carriageway and then flashed for me to pull over. Dammit. I didn't get out as it was a busy dual carriageway and waited for the officer to approach the passenger window.
He cautioned me on my slight over speeding and asked where I was going and where I was coming from. It's funny how I wouldn't say I have anything to be nervous about with the police but I do start over analysing everything I say when I'm talking to them. I told him where I worked yet at the same time seemed to look around the car for a business card to prove this. You then panic by thinking that you've just displayed a clear body language sign of guilt by looking away at the moment of telling him where you work. He asked if I'd been drinking and then wanted me to lean over and breathe on him. At first I didn't hear him right and he had to repeat it. Thoughts raced in my head 'Is my breath ok, thank god I'm chewing fresh gum but will he think I'm trying to disguise my alcohol breath'. He verbally cautioned me again and then bid me good night. What do I then say 'Thank you, sorry, you're doing a great job'. If you are too polite you sound like you are being sarcastic, too laid back and you sound disrespectful. I pulled away and drove slowly while they hung on my tail. I had only been a couple of miles over but needless to say was very grateful for not receiving any points or fines.
At the beginning of one of Armin van Buuren's state of trance's is a song called Breathe. It's a remix and it is excellent. The lyrics always sound really good but as it is a little fast it proves hard to accurately hear them all. While listening to another radio station on Friday we heard the original, slower version. It's by a singer called Anna Nalick and is a very thoughtful song. I've always found people quoting song lyrics really pretentious but I'm going to have to do the same now by quoting part of the chorus of this song:
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, boys, So cradle your head in your hands, And breathe...just breathe'
Good lyrics and a great song, particularly the remix. I would wax about what they mean but I guess lyrics are open to interpretation so I won't cloud yours with mine.
Fish and chips that night and brother and I grabbed a couple of DVD's. The first was The three burials of Melquido Estrado starring Tommy Lee Jones. He had directed this and apparently it was this gritty sleeper hit. I thought I'd take a chance on it but wished I hadn't. It was tedious, slow and boring. Granted it was very good at painting the grim, depressing nature of a Texas border town but it didn't go anywhere. I think we lost it when after his mate has died, he digs back up the corpse to take him away and bury him in Mexico, quickly sets him on fire to remove ants, fills him up with antifreeze to prevent quick rot and then attempts to comb his hair and it falls out. Man it was like a straight version of Weekend at Bernie's and nearly sent me to sleep. In the end I had to fast forward it which I hate having to do.
We followed this with Hostel which certainly woke us back up. This was a lot better than I had expected. The advertising had effectively made it out to be 1 1/2 hours of people being tortured, which it wasn't. It had a story and you did engage with the characters. Some of the deaths etc were horrifying and gruesome and it contained genuine tension. It also posed some interesting questions in the horror of seeing people paying to inflict pain on innocents but how then the audience are screaming for the painful death of the afore-mentioned torturers. A good film but one that certainly won't do anything to encourage travel to eastern European countries.
Decided to forgo the gym again on Saturday. Maybe I was being lazy but I made a good case to myself that to really feel the benefit of the big push after my birthday this was a worthwhile sacrifice. Headed up to the shops and decided to do it listening to my nano, which I wouldn't normally do. It felt funny, making me feel even more enclosed in my own little bubble. Without the distraction of other sounds it felt like your eyes managed to take in even more people watching and the sense of detachment was palpable. I was going out that evening for another friends birthday but was flying without my brother or normal wingman. I confess to being a little wary of it as I had a moment of doubt when I thought I could not be as entertaining without them by my side. I needn't have worried, a bath, a poor man's fondue and I was out of the door. There was only 8 of us out, with two more joining later and I got in some black aftershocks to get the night moving along.
We moved on to our normal place which has a dance floor downstairs and headed down. I wasn't drinking but the music was good and I started to feel the need to 'shake it on down'. Granted the feeling of dancing in treacle for those first few songs is even worse when you are sober but I love that cheesy 70's/80's stuff and the quicker I get going, the quicker I can get others going. I'm all to aware of my faults but I do think that one of my strengths is getting the party going. I might come across as an annoying, attention seeking tart but if people are laughing it's a start, this leads to gentle goading and then eventual dancing. It was nice to be out with a bunch of friends who I haven't been out with for some time and we seemed to slot very quickly back into our old routine and banter. Danced and laughed until 1.00 when the place kicked out and then I ran everyone home in two journeys. Needless to say there was no female interaction. I was conscious of getting observed by a couple of girls but there wasn't anyone that made me want to make the leap, especially when I was out with my rarely seen chums. Got in and feeling hungry as well as non tired, due no doubt to my long lie in and numerous cans of Red Bull decided to fire up the chip pan. If there is nothing wrong with a double cheeseburger and tea at 3.00 am then what could be wrong with egg and chips and a glass of milk at 2.00am? The extra ballast in the stomach helped me sleep and at the moment that ain't no bad thing.
Watched Hitch again on Sunday. Still a funny film, certainly at the beginning when Albert is trying to woo Allegra but it does remind me of ones inability to find someone really worth getting excited about. It also doesn't help as it tries to push through the myth that nice guys really can get the special ones. I was discussing recently with a friend that maybe my inability to get anyone is a stick that I deliberately like to beat myself with and/or that I deliberately have this notion of a fairytale romance because deep down I'm too scared to actually want a proper relationship. Whatever the notion it was good to see the dancing in the film, particularly at the end credits when Albert does the slide through Will's legs. Killer move.
Motogp was in Malaysia and Rossi won again. Granted his skills on taking Capirosi on the last lap are impressive but it the certainty that he will always beat someone if level with them on the last lap that does become plain boring. You can see the mind games he plays with people yet come every last lap and they always seem to leave huge gaps for him to fill with some skilful passing move.
Saw Way of the Gun again later that night. What a cool film this is. I don't have a film that I like Benecio del Toro in more and the partnership between him and Ryan Phillipe is so well played with a genuine 'less is infinitely more' approach. It's clever, intelligent, credits the audience with some common sense and has some of the best gunplay and shoot outs put onto film. This is due in no small part down to the directors brother being an ex Navy SEAL who trained the actors in the art of gun handling. The director actually wrote the Usual Suspects and it's a real shame that he hasn't done any other films since.
Mysterious women, thrashing guitars and hacking limbs - 04/09/2006
Kept my eyes peeled for the misery today but to no avail. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing, she's this high class, high maintenance honey and here I am looking gangsta with a mo haircut, combats and a baseball shirt. I wouldn't want to talk to me.
After my grumblings, and they still remain, about all the quiz programmes on the TV I found myself sucked in by one of them. It's good research though as it allows me to slate them even more intensely.
I started watching on Tuesday night as one of the presenters is this reasonably attractive, curvy blonde. I gave the show some minutes whilst I waited for a wide angled shot to see what she was wearing. The question was Down__________ and I waited for the host of calls to come in to correctly guess the answer. People called in but no one seemed to say down under which I thought was incredibly obvious. The cheapest prize on offer was £4,000 and with their continual goddam talking and encouragement of you to call up thought that no one was phoning the show.
I succumbed and thought 'sod it' I'll give it one go. I dialed the number and it came up engaged. As that hadn't cost anything I tried again. This time the recorded message kicked in saying "let's see if you will be put through to the studio" a pause, then a recorded audience groan and a "sorry you have not made it through". The rub though is that during all this time the woman on the telly hadn't taken a single call. I realise it's a money making scam but you do get the impression that they are encouraging you to call because no one else is. In reality they are pleading with you to call yet have hundreds of callers that they choose simply not to take or put on hold, which must be even more frustrating when you can see by watching the show that they aren't taking calls. About five minutes later someone called in and said down under, which amazingly wasn't there as wasn't downtown or downloaded. I went away and brushed my teeth, got a drink and came back and still they hadn't had one correct answer, bearing in mind there were 10 down________'s to choose from. Hey, I salute the cleverness at getting people to call up, including myself, but it is fascinating how they can be so openly devious.
There was another one I saw when I was flicking through the channels. I must add at this point that I realise I'm coming across as a serial watcher but come 11.30 on freeview there must be 7-8 different channels showing this crap. I know I could switch off and go to bed but I'm a virtual insomniac so late night tv is my refuge. Anyway there was this one show where the question was hot_________. One had been guessed correctly as hot water but they were so desperate for someone to get another that they offered a clue saying it was part of the body. Naturally hot headed is screaming in your mind at this point. They also offered a clue that is related to _______and crossbones. Ok so that's skull which in turn is the head, so yeah hot headed. No, the actual answer was hot skull!!!! What the fuck is that? How is that a saying, you might as well phone in and if lucky enough to get through say something completely obscure like hot celery or hot thimble.
I saw the misery, I think I will now call her the mystery as it is a bit more enigmatic, on Wednesday morning. I was driving into Blackheath as I always do, I looked up the road as I approached a junction and there she was waiting to cross. I slowed to let her over and she kind of motioned with her hand but naturally didn't smile. She did though make eye contact with me. I don't mean this in a 'she obviously wants me' way but rather that if I stopped and attempted to make an approach it might look even dodgier. I felt this knot begin to appear in the pit of my stomach as I considered whether I should still try and hand her a card. My only option was to get far enough ahead that I could sensibly park up and then walk back.
Unfortunately the traffic was solid and I crept along at about the same pace that she walked. It did give me an opportunity to look at her a bit more but with my stomach unease spreading I seemed over cautious that I would be spotted doing so. Today she was wearing a black skirt, white blouse and tourqoiuse jumper. The blouse was sticking out of the bottom of the jumper at the back as if she'd rushed to put it on. In someone that looks so controlled and confident, the hint of normality was quite endearing. It's funny what picture you paint of someone just from looking at them. I've not seen her smile and this leads me to think that either she is a miserable, stuck up cow who never smiles and doesn't have to because men still approach regardless or maybe because she hasn't a great deal to smile about yet just needs a genuine, sincere guy to warm her up.
I can't imagine her being happy with fish'n'chips and a coke and I think she would probably size me up and dismiss me in all but a few minutes but it's this in a way which intrigues me. She is so hopelessly out of my league that it's the notion that maybe I could break through and make a connection, even if it was "get out of my face, you freak". I can be pretty dismissive of pretty or naturally gifted girls, as a pathetic ego protector I'm sure, and I'm curious to see whether she would confirm or contradict my preconceptions.
The day was fairly mediocre and I left the office around 7.40ish to head to the gym. Whilst driving over the heath I was stunned to see mystery girl again. Blimey, this was freaky. Although I looked imbecilic thanks to a colleague penning my tramlines with highlighter I thought I should act on this amazing coincidence. She was walking towards me, wearing the same clothes which is how I managed to recognize her out of the corner of my eye, and I assumed heading to the garage that I'd just passed on the left. I couldn't stop on this road as it is a dual carriageway and thus took the next right, right and right again to bring me into a cul de sac. I grabbed my card and hurried back to the garage. Needless to say she was nowhere to be seen and had just vanished. I wasn't going to try to engage her in lengthy conversation but just tell her that I'd seen her in a bar 6 or 7 weeks ago and then seen her in the mornings when driving through the village. Just tell her that I thought she was very pretty and that I was intrigued to know whether her personality was as attractive as her appearance and then simply hand her the card.
Was I relieved, I don't know. It calmed the low swirling sensation that had begun to build and which I'd hoped to overcome by acting so impulsively and quickly. I wouldn't normally do this and I swear I'm not stalking her but it was just so damn coincidental after having seen her that morning that I felt I had to do something. It is amazing that of all the women I've seen when I've been out in Blackheath that this is the only one who I've regularly seen again. It felt funny to be out of the car at a place that I'd normally just speed through and in a way I felt alive to break the routine a little.
Decided to scrub the gym and instead headed home to watch Seabiscuit which I'd borrowed off a colleague. I'd seen it before and had been pestering her to watch it as I knew she would enjoy it. Despite her stubborness when she did see it, she loved it and it made me want to see it again. Man it was great to watch it again, the last time I'd seen it must have been two years previously, and I'm sure it made me enjoy it even more. It's so sumptiously shot, the characters are well acted and likeable, there isn't a typical bad guy to dislike and watching it made me feel warm inside. The struggling against adversity, the underdog coming through in both seabiscuit and those around him struck a far greater chord than they had the first time. I really like the notion that Seabiscuit was a real character and I particularly identified with his fondness of sleeping in and eating well. The Cassandra Crossing was on telly that night aswell, which I watched. It's got Sophia Loren and Richard Harris, wearing his blackest trousers and jumper to provide an even greater contrast with his youthful golden hair. It isn't a great film by any stretch of the imagination but like some other films it reminds me of being able to stay up late when I was younger. If a film was good or on a Friday night my mum would let me stay up late and it was films like this which offered the first taste of that delicious treat.
Managed to book the Barcelona trip on Thursday through Expedia. Their processes were a little drawn out meaning that I ended up looking at some other agents like Travelocity, Opodo and others but none seemed to offer this fantastic hotel that I'd discovered. By booking the holiday in two lots, four and a three, we managed to go through Expedia and in a way it felt cool to have seen just how new or exclusive Hotel 1898 is as no other company featured it. It's a relief to know that it's been booked and now the task of internet information gathering can begin. I generated this big folder of information for when we went to Las Vegas as I didn't want to waste a moment when I arrived fumbling around deciding what to do. Barcelona will be the same and also I want to show my bosses how excited I am at going and in turn my gratitude for treating us to it.
Talking of information gathering I went into sponge mode on Seabiscuit and did a fair bit of digging on this. It was refreshing to see how close the film was to some of the things that happened to Seabiscuit, particularly his legendary race with War Admiral, which uncharacteristically for a Hollywood film was a virtual carbon copy of the actual race. It's a really fascinating story and I found it opened my eyes to a tiny insight into the world of thoroughbred racing. As well as reading about Seabiscuit, I was fascinated by stories of his great rival War Admiral and also two of the greatest american thoroughbreds Man O' War and Secretariat, who apparently had a heart twice as big as an average thoroughbred. Watched Underworld:Evolution that evening which was formulaic and boring. It seemed to get so caught up in trying to fashion a clever plot, which was confusing and distracting, that the film around the story was an almost boring re-run of the first film. The final fight, which I fell asleep through at one point, was virtually the same as the first with both heroes fighting their requisite bad guys at the same time. And then look out here comes a helicopter crashing through the ceiling, but look it's rotors are still whirring round, no surely the bad guy won't be killed by being pushed into the rotors will he? You catch my drift.
My mate discovered that the UK Air Guitar championships were taking place in Islington on Friday night so we decided to check it out. I must confess at this point that it was only about five years ago that I discovered that an air guitar wasn't a real instrument! Let me explain. When I was younger I was really into Jean Michel Jarre and one of his tricks at his concerts was playing a 'laser harp'. This was a machine that fired up about seven different lasers beams that when he broke with his gloved hands produced a sound. Of course this was all electronically set up but if you could get a laser harp, was the notion of an air guitar being a real instrument so strange?
Anyway we went along to the Carling Islington Academy and it was a fun crowd. Some of the performers were useless but a couple put real passion and effort into their performances and it was certainly entertaining. My two favourites of the evening were Count Rockula and the Hoxton Reaper. Count Rockula performed in a headband, raincoat with collar turned up and a black, knee length, low cut leotard. What really made his performance though was the passion in his face. Lots of bulging eyes and temples, shoved out lips and wild expressions. This guy really got into his act and played the shit out of that air guitar. It was a really close call but he was pipped into second place by the Hoxton Reaper. Now this guy performed in white linen trousers, a tight white lycra top that had a hint of the Freddie Mercury about it and wore this outstanding handle bar moustache (unsure whether it was real). This guy had passion but also real talent and his timing on his pretend instrument was to perfection. He did look like he was playing a guitar and knew just the right time to go slow, perform a full arm swing strum or nail the ultimate fret wank.
We left here when it kicked out, around 10ish, and went to another nearby bar but the atmosphere felt decidely 'edgy' like a fight could kick off at any minute and that isn't our kind of bag. We left and whilst deciding where to head onto next, got chatting to three people who we'd been standing next to at the Air Guitar thing. One of the girls was this really friendly northerner, who asked and then couldn't believe we were single as we were all so nice. She asked why I was single and to save her the long winded explanation thought I'd present her with a card. She has a long term partner, which was fine, but as she enquired I thought I would elaborate. We even discussed how she preferred the cards that are printed on the stock that have an almost suede like feel on the back. It's called curious touch and I admired her attention in noticing it.
I knew I wasn't going out again socially over the weekend so brother and I planned a lazy one involving food, games and DVD's. I think my brother was keen to have some Poulet de Marge again after reading about me cooking it in the office so we hit Tesco's and the DVD store. While he played an Xbox game that I'd hired called Spartan:Total Warrior I got to work prepping the chicken. I'd played this game about a year previously and it had stuck in the back of my mind for some time. The graphics in the game are excellent, the music is this wicked mix of gladiator-esque chants and thumping bass, it's very bloody and cathartic and some of the battles that you get involved in are huge with AI characters running around and really making you feel in the middle of an ancient blood and sandals warzone. As seemed to be the norm this week, he hadn't wanted to play it but once he'd performed his first blood spraying beheading and radial shield bash he was hooked.
I cooked the dinner while he carried on and I've got to say that I created a wonderful feast. I'd cleaned the chip pan out with fresh oil and got some steak chips, we had a mound of egg and crumbed chicken, sorry Poulet de Marge, a bowl of baked beans, another bowl with mushrooms that had been slow cooked in butter and had a little cream added just at the end, buttered baguette and some coke. It might not have been healthy but if was filling and was like some kind of Walton's family spread, even though there was only two of us eating it. You must think I'm a fat bastard but we gorged ourselves and it was good. I must prepare it again for us as our birthdays are soon to be here and it was the standout meal of the weekend. We followed it with Final Destination 3, which was disappointing. Ok I wasn't expecting Shakespeare and had discounted the films until I caught the second half of Final Destination 2 a year back which was ok. As this started with a big rollercoaster accident we thought we'd check it out. I didn't like the characters, the deaths/accidents were telegraphed like a early learning film and it was generally forgettable.
Sunday was really a continuation of the previous day. We both continued to kick some arse on Spartan before watching the film Running Scared starring Paul Walker. There's something about this actor that I really like. You could say he's a surfer dude type and probably not the most gifted actor but for me he has a real presence that I like and the film was surprisingly good. Violent, entertaining and enjoyable. This one was my brothers choice so top marks to him. We had to get the DVD's and game back to the shop for 5.30 but we just had to beat this end of level boss and it was bugging the hell out of the two of us who were taking turns trying to put him down. If the controller wasn't being thrown to the ground in tearful rage then foul expletives were being almost screamed at the telly with dramatic storming out of the rooms by each of us at we kept losing. We began to discover a way of doing him and it might sound sad for grown men but when my bro took that swine down it was a genuine, hugging, high fiving, eureka moment. No sooner had his pixellated blood dried on the computer generated dusty ground that we had fought him on that we had to return it to the shop. We had our victory and we were happy. Watched Blade II again that night, which is still mucho quality and the adult comic book action flick that all should be judged by.
Until we talk again.
First of the Mohicans - 29/08/2006
Another Monday morning meeting that went well followed by a knackering swim. A better Contender this night and it was a lot closer fight between Grady and Vinroy. Although he received a nasty cut above his eye in the third round, Grady managed to prevail though Vinroy did his best to punch and aggravate the cut.
Tuesday was double bill Lost night and I decided on something a little different for tea. A covent garden carbonara sauce, packet and a half of bacon, onion, mushrooms and fresh Tagliaterre. Frustratingly I had to go to another store to pick up the mushrooms as they were sold out at the first place. Why is it, and this might only apply to OCD's like myself, that once you decide on a dish and allow your mind to embrace and almost taste the chosen meal that there is always a vital ingredient that suddenly becomes unobtainable. This is then further compounded by me being the kind of person that once I feel that I'm prevented from having something I want it even more. Hence why I was shooting round to different Sainsburys when I should have been racing home to prep supper. Needless to say the meal was excellent, well okay tasty and filling, which is as good as excellent as far as my brother and I are concerned.
The same could not be said however for Lost. I don 't know if we are at the halfway stage but we really hit two lame filler episodes. The first was about Hurley, how he was going mad and how the cute blonde psychologist fancies him. I'm sorry but my imagination can stretch to mysterious forces, the polar bear roaming the jungle, that black mist thing and all the other peculiarities of the island but the notion that she would be attracted to Hurley after he'd been sweating like a pig and had peanut butter breath is too much. The next episode was the same with classic cases of people seeing/doing things and feeling that it wasn't worth telling others (Rose telling her husband she was better, Kate telling Jack about the other hatch). If we are mid season then so be it but even with a filling carbonara I was left unsatisfied.
Things were quiet on Wednesday but the team went out in the evening which was really nice. We first hit a pub in Borough for a few drinks and some laughs where we discussed the joys of shaving nasal and ear hair and my over usage of Lynx deodorant. We then moved onto Wagamamas. I'd always been intrigued by this place, particularly the name which I think is pretty cool, and it was this curiosity which has led to us all visiting this place. I'd been to a Noodle Time restuarant so was familiar with the whole bench seat, communal style eating. This was a lot more fun though. I'm a simple guy who regards any meal out a treat, especially after work and in central London. We chose a selection of sides / starters, the highlights of which would be these fried breadcrumbed prawn things and what looked like duck filled mini spring rolls. For main I went with a piece of breadcrumbed chicken with Japanese rice (looked and tasted like normal rice to me) and a curry style sauce. Man it was all so tasty. Dessert was this chocolate fudge cake which looked good but wasn't as yummy as the piece of ginger cheesecake that I relieved off a colleague. It was a really nice night. We laughed and joked about the pitfalls of having a number 2 in the countryside, a colleagues increasingly frantic attempts to flush away a secretive office dump and how I once used the line "I've got a fresh sliced loaf and six eggs at home" to entice a woman back to my gaff for some non commital sex. The food was great, we all had good conversations and plenty of laughs and I felt this real feeling of belonging. The team was out and I was pleased and proud to be part of it.
Thursday morning and I saw the misery girl. She had an umbrella up and I only just caught her but she looked great. I had to double once round the village just to see her again to make sure it was her. It was and she was wearing black trousers, white top and this little green cardigan. I hadn't forgotten her but I had pushed her from my mind a little bit so seeing her again brightened my morning. She seems so confident when she strides along, though I have still yet to see her smile. She's tall and slim and that figure looks so good in a pair of trousers. I circled the block again and considered stopping and handing her a card as god knows when I would see her again but I thought against it. Driving into work I kicked myself for not having done something. Live for the now goddamit. Ah well, maybe I'll see her again and have another opportunity. My mate reckons the card is the wrong way but I think it unlikely I'll see her out and I can't just stop her in the middle of the street and attempt to chat her up when she is on her way to work. I think the hit and run method is better. If she has got someone she can throw it away. If not, she could take a look at the site and if she didn't like me then so be it but at least I would have done something. Inactivity guarantees that nothing will happen I guess whereas giving her a card always leaves that sliver of hope.
I was given the task this day of doing some research on our company soiree. Last year they took us to Las Vegas which was amazing and incredibly generous. I wasn't expecting anything like that and what with the mid year burglary would have been happy with a nice meal and a handshake but my bosses are pretty damn special. Three nights in Barcelona is the plan and I got to work looking on Expedia and tripadvisor as to where we should stay. I found this cracking little hotel after much digging on one of the main streets of Barcelona. I think it was the third highest rated hotel on Tripadvisor but with it's two pools (one on the roof which I know will be shut and one in the basement), central location, the fact that it is less than a year old after being stylishly converted and looks the right side of intimate yet friendly I knew we had a winner. It's called Hotel 1898 and it looks pretty damn cool. I've got to say that I felt pretty special that I was the one allowed to choose it. I think after the amount of web research I did on Las Vegas before we went, they knew I was the best person to track something decent down. I spent most of the day researching this, flights, rooms etc and that ain't a bad way to spend a day. State of trance wasn't brilliant tonight and who would have known that it would be a premonition for the Saturday night.
With a bank holiday looming Friday was pretty quiet. We discussed in the office how I might have a mohican hair cut on Saturday. Every guy should have a crazy haircut before they hit 35 and with only three weeks to go and me working at a non corporate then why not. Hence the decision was made. Others debated it but they aren't attention seeking arses like me so I realised it would be a lone venture. Saturday came with the requisite lay in. I decided against hitting the gym as I didn't want to knacker myself for the evening which I was beginning to really look forward to.
Arrived at my hairdressers and explained what I wanted. Shave my head to a three apart from the middle which wasn't cut at all. Along the edge of the mo' was a tramline to frame it along with two more in the side to break up the expanse. I was also thinking how I might pick out the tramlines with some UV paint later that night. He seemed quite pleased to be doing something different and when he finished I was pleased with it as well. He had combed it together into one point and I think I prefer it to be a little roughed up but it was good. Chatted to his wife which I also always enjoy. She was having some work done on her house and I think it helped for her to rant about how it was going etc to clear some stuff of her chest. I wandered back up to the shops and no one really cared. I guess nowadays it's hard to say what is defined as a crazy haircut. If people don't know you then they don't realise that it's crazy for you. Headed to Bluewater to pick up my bro and with an hour or so to spare had a mooch around the shops. Bluey really is a cool shopping centre, with a great range of shops to meander round.
I was reminded of the price of fashion whilst there. I had a look in River Island and saw this nice pink shirt with cream swirls for just under £30. It was ok but I thought um being that price and in River Island then it's a good chance I'll see others wearing it. I then mossied into Ted Baker where I saw a lovely pink shirt that was £80. Now this was very nice and the price, you hope, would prevent less people wearing it but in reality £80 is the price of a damn good night out. So you have to weigh up do you have a blinding night in average attire or a subdued night in expensive attire.
Ok so we got ready to head out that night. I pulled on my clubbing outfit of black Ellesse combats and a fluoro green adidas t-shirt after applying endless amounts of deodorant. Brother sat me down on a chair in the living room and using a brush painted my tramlines. Two in UV yellow and one in pink. I then sprayed glitter over my hair. Ok this might sound gay or an old fart having a mid-life crisis but I'm a tart and the dance scene is one of the few places when you can go a little whacky, so what the hell.
Raced over to pick up my work colleague who hadn't been clubbing in years and who shared a similar fondness for Armin and then drove to Brixton. Gave her the tour once we got in and I confess that it didn't seem as busy as the hard house nights that I'd been to there. We waited for Armin to start and made sure to hit the dance floor about half an hour before so we were limbered and ready to go. He came on half an hour late which I'm sure wasn't his fault, seemed to play about 5 or 6 of the songs that the previous DJ had and just didn't motivate the crowd. He played too few classics or even tunes that he'd been dropping in recent ASOT's, too many numbers with breakdowns that were slowing down midway before you'd even had a chance to get fired up, too few distinctive tunes and we ended up leaving at about 3:50am. When you are having a good time you don't notice all the sweating, gurning, nomadic, backpack wearing arsewipes that constantly push past you. If however the music isn't delivering, you certainly do notice them and the music has to work even harder to get you out of that mood. It was just so disappointing. I was ready to rip it up like I did at Bournemouth and here was a DJ that can have me dancing in the office when I stay late to hear him on ASOT yet in a huge venue with better lights and sound and he couldn't fire me up. It was even more frustrating as we had dragged along my work colleague, only for Armin not to deliver or for them to see a good example/insight into my world. I did however have a couple of people comment on my hair which was pretty cool.
We went on a round trip to take in the tea hut which she'd never been to and thankfully enjoyed. You might have a poor night but the hut holds the power to pull it back. Eventually got in after dropping everyone home, had a quick bath and gratefully hit my bed.
Sunday was even lazier, heh isn't that bank holiday weekends are meant to be like. Went out that evening wearing my Geek t-shirt, wondering whether it would seem ironic or plain ridiculous bearing in mind my 'crazy' haircut. I might as well have had the thing pulled over my head for I didn't notice any eye contact with anyone. Still mate and I had a nourishing and deep conversation. It strayed close the edge of things we do and don't mention but it was worthwhile and re-affirmed our friendship strength. It also meant we were oblivious to everyone else, which considering it was virtually man-town in there wasn't a bad thing. TI was impressed though when I ordered a drink from the bar and the owner, who I've seen and had drinks with before including one on the stroke of New Years Eve, said 'Arrgh Mr Payne'. I was astonished he remembered my name but he did and it made my day.
Monday was the apartment tidy up that I'd been threatening to do for some time. I borrowed the dyson hoover from the office as the one at home has all the suction of a dying, geriatric asthmatic. Dusted, wiped down, hoovered (with a little shave'n'vac to put the freshness back), threw out old clothing, re-arranged bits and even managed to discard some old videos. All this was completed listening to my nano. Those earphones have really checked out well and despite a mild discomfort when they come off that must last all of 15 seconds I am very pleased with them. I would also keep catching glances of my hair which I've got to say I still really like. It might not suit me but it's different and fresh so why not. While checking out my old video tapes I discovered a couple of the x-men cartoons, including one of my favourite ones which involve the x-men, apocalypse and bishop and cable 'body slide to hq' who both journey back through time to hook up with the x-men to defeat Apocalypse. I looked forward to watching it again after my clean up but the temperamental video machine decided to chew it up which was enough for me to pull that piece of crap out of it's cubby hole and start beating the shit out of it. I launched some hefty punches on the top of it to bend in the metal casing and prevent me from removing the tape as well as smashing the plastic facia into a million pieces with the base of it's matching remote control. Christ it was cathartic. Besides did I really need a video player anymore? A few more kicks to quell my rage and that baby found itself in the bin.
A huge long soak in a ridiculously 'boil your nuts in a bag' hot bath followed which I haven't had for ages. It's funny how sometimes the simple things can really please when you haven't had them for some time. I took in a nice cup of tea, had the melancholy playlist on the nano (which I must provide over on the music section soon) and managed to find a comfortable position which resulted in one foot over the side, the other wedged under the tap and my head resting on the back edge. Bliss.
The contender was really good this night. The two guys that fought seemed really nice guys. Michael and Ebo. They had a lot of respect for each other and a good chunk of experience. It's a shame they hadn't had more show time before because I warmed to them both. They seemed very similar with a wife and two daughters each who looked so much better than some of the trash that these boxers have as girlfriends or wives. Because I liked them both when the fight started I didn't know who to support and hence watched a lot less emotionally than usual. Ebo's work rate was harder and faster and Michael seemed reluctant to work or throw punches. He was clearly three rounds down when he came out for the fourth and rocked Ebo back with a devasting punch. He didn't follow it up immediately as many others do and I thought he had blown his chance. Instead though he patiently waited for another chance to appear which it did about 40 seconds later and he exploded an uppercut on Ebo's chin. The poor guy, it shook him up so bad he actually fell forward onto the canvas. He got up in time for the count but when the ref beckoned him to walk towards him he didn't know where to go and the ref stopped the fight.
I was pleased for Michael for causing a stoppage when that was the only thing that was going to get him through to the next round but was sad to see Ebo go. With it's Hans Zimmer music the shows endings are always well done and this was amazing. Ebo took his loss with grace as did Michael with his win but when his wife told him that she'd seen Ebo's daughter crying (the two mums had gotten very close and become friends in the weeks before the fight) Michael looked visibly upset. He even admitted that he was ashamed for what he'd done and wished that he had never called out Ebo. Maybe it was sentimental and contrived but it tugged the right strings for me and left me feeling quite sombre.
To finish the bank holiday weekend off I didn't win the euromillions lottery. I only like to do it when the jackpot prize goes over £30 million. Big numbers excite me and winning a lot would mean that I could improve the lives of those nearest and dearest to me by an even greater extent. Anyway this last jackpot was £38 million and not only didn't I win, but someone else did. I don't know about you but there is a certain satisfaction when you see that it will rollover again and nobody won. Hey I might not have won but neither did anyone else and I've still got a chance of an even bigger prize next week.
Thanks for tuning in, talk soon.
So honestly, how old am I - 21/08/06
Bit of a quiet week really so this could be a shorter entry than normal. Contender was good on Monday and has at last provided some one I don't like. I realise that being a reality show it can be edited in a way to make the viewer dislike someone but there was there was this slick arrogant boxer who I didn't warm to. Granted he is very good and knocked his opponent out in the first round. The opponent got up and struggled on but there was a lot of showboating and arrogance which I really don't like.
I know Sergio or the Latin Snake used to do but it was good because you knew that out of the ring Sergio acted with manners and humility. This guy didn't and I would like to see him put on his arse. No lost on Tuesday so I attempted to work on last weeks entry, which as you probably noticed was quite long.
A guy at work on Wednesday drew my attention to this yearly dance event in Amsterdam called Sensation White. I did a little research and it looked truly wicked. 40,000 clubbers who could only wear white clothing getting down to some bangin trance. It happens on the first Saturday of every July and has been going for six years. Rather frustratingly it's the first I've ever heard of it. I keep my ear reasonably close to the dance scene and had certainly heard of the dance valley events that take place in Holland but they have an attendance of about 25,000. The videos for the events on their website look so cool with all those people in white and truly astonishing production values with lasers, lights, performers etc inside these vast arenas. If I'd known about them earlier I would like to have gone with my bro. Guess I'll just have to wait until next year now though I'll have to be quick as all the tickets sold out this year in less than four hours.
Uneventful Thursday and Friday really. Had some excellent fish and chips on Friday night from my local chippie, The Frying Pan. Got in there and he put on some fresh fish and had just started cooking some new chips. Chatted to the guy in there as I always do, which is always a laugh, while we waited for the food. As we left the shop and headed back to the car two female hood rats who been standing round the corner asked if we could buy them some alcohol. They'd slapped on the makeup to look older, and one of them had the body of an older girl, but I wasn't in a mood to help. I probably came across as a right old fart as my response of 'sorry love I've just got some lovely fish and chips which I'm looking forward to' must have made me look particularly sad. It always intrigues me how far these girls would go for some alcohol. If my brother and I had turned round and said 'Yeah let's get some drink, head back to mine where I will feed you absinthe, aftershock and vodka and then we can play strip jenga all night' would they run a mile. Fear not I'm not about to say that but you do wonder what responses they must hear.
We hired out a couple of DVD's to watch. The Spartan with Val Kilmer and 16 Blocks with Bruce Willis. Both started reasonably well and The Spartan had a twisting plot as one might expect from David Mamet but it seemed to get caught up in it's own plot and realising the depth of story it had dug seemed to rush the ending. They were both entertaining but kinda forgettable and formulaic.
Great session in the gym on Saturday. The earphones are still holding up very well and I'm really pleased with that purchase. I can't figure it out on a Saturday. I work out really hard and sweat a lot. I then follow my work out by going in the steam room. After the session I've always got a headache for the rest of the day. Now I realise it must be down to dehydration but I drink masses on a Saturday both during the running, in between the weights, right after the workout, while I'm in the steam room and then again when I leave. Couple this with a wednesday night where I sweat just as much, hardly drink and never get a headache. One of those things I guess.
Had an early start going out as we decided to check out the new Christian Bale film, Harsh Times. It was ok but had been billed as a training day wannabe but it felt more like Boys n the Hood meets the Deer Hunter. It was entertaining, the story was involving and Bale put in another excellent performance but I was glad that I hadn't been looking forward to seeing it for some time.
Hit the wine bar in Blackheath again, this time with friend and brother. Wasn't sure if he was going to get in as he's just about to turn 21 and the entry requirements are 24. We breezed in earlyish and as he's quite tall, and we look so old, weren't stopped at all. We had some drinks and it was good for bro to experience a more relaxed, less combative vibe than what you can find in the bars than he can normally get into. There were girls in there but as usual they all seemed to know everyone else. My mate instigated conversation with two women and we chatted to them. It's quite fun to go through that initial water treading of conversation before you relax into an easy patter with people.
The women were out celebrating one of their birthdays and did the classic 'How old do you think we are'. I deliberately falsely guessed one of them as being 27. 'No, be serious' I was told ' be honest, I can take it, I've no hang ups about my age' she continued. I looked her up and down and said '38' her face fell and she mock kicked me. Women are typical, they say they can take the truth and when you are bang on they get the arse. To be honest she didn't have the arse, more like a little cheesed off. We decided to pay them back and asked them to guess what the connection was between two out of the three of us. They decided that my brother and mate were brothers and when pushed as to how they could tell said because they had the same lips.
They were nice girls though and we headed downstairs to the club part with them. I was chatting to this one lady who seemed quite insecure. She'd been married for 15 years before her husband left her at christmas with two five year old kids. We were talking about men paying for the meals on dates and she was saying how she couldn't understand how anyone would want to buy her dinner. There were times when I had my head close to hers so I could hear her talk that I was aware of her proximity and just wanted to put my arms round her and give her a cuddle. She wasn't morose or depressing but I felt she could have done with some affection. There were also times when my brother held court with them which I think can only be good for his confidence. He's a good looking chap who is a lot more able and articulate than I was when approaching 21.
We drove the girls back to their apartment and popped in for a cup of tea. It's these moments where I truly excel if I'm not drinking. Everyone can relax as I calmly take over, pop on the kettle and fix everyone up some drinks. It seems the inebbriated host is always more concerned with showing others around the property or choosing the right music to play so I just get on with fixing stuff for everyone, grateful that someone has found me trustworthy or friendly enough to let me in their house. I do, I must confess, still find it amazing that women ask guys back to their flats after only having chatted with them for a couple of hours. You are never sure whether they do it all the time or have simply identified very quickly that I'm 'safe'. We all chatted for an hour or two and then we headed off home. Maybe we will see them again in the wine bar which would be nice. Bro was hungry so after dropping my mate off naturally had to stop at the tea hut for the requisite nosebag.
Sunday was a lesson in the art of abject laziness. Dragged myself out of my pit, chucked some frozen sausages in the oven while I put on load one of four eventual loads of washing, pulled the sausages out for a nice sausage sandwich with a large mug of tea and settled down to watch the MotoGP. There had been a month off since Laguna Seca and I was looking forward to it getting back underway. Capirosi on his Ducati smashed the hell out of everyone and was putting almost half a second every lap on everyone else including Rossi. Pedrosa took the fight to Rossi and they swapped places about four or five times in a lap but Pedrosa dropped back with about two laps to go. There was a real duke out for fourth place between Melandri, Stoner, Roberts and Hayden which we only got snapshots of due to the camera nearly always having to be on Rossi.
Suzi Perry pissed me off after digging at Hayden for still living at home above a garage and saying that Pedrosa was far from popular with the crowd and ridiculing him for never smiling. I'd love it if one of them won the championship and when Suzi requested an interview they told her to fuckoff and that maybe if she had been a little more impartial and not so one sided that they might have done. Silly, self important cow.
Continued the strenuous activities by playing some Black and then watching The Magnificent Seven again. What a great film this still is. Excellent music and scenes. The characters are all so diverse and the actors do well with them that you really would like to know more about them individually. Amazing how today's films find it hard enough to create even one memorable character let along seven. The opening scene where Chris and Vin take the coffin to boot hill is cracking as is Chris's indication to the travelling salesman where he has come from and where he is going. If you could be any of the characters who would it be? It's a toughie and that's rare for a film. Yul Bryner and Steve McQueen are both great and I'd happily be them but James Coburn's character Britt, who hardly says a word, is outstanding. He also has the honour of saying the films best line "Nobody throws me my guns and tells me to run, nobody".
Completed the inactivity with a take out pizza from Pizza Hut (deep pan meat feast - is there any better) and Evil Dead III - Army of Darkness. Still a great film and after seeing Bubba Ho tep the previous weekend filled our craving for some Bruce Campbell.
Have a good bank holiday weekend and I'll be sure to bore you again next week.
Poulet de Marge and an internet drumming - 14/08/2006
Well another week begins and I think I was slowly coming out of this mood that I've been in. What it was I don't know. SAD, micro mid life crisis, time of the month, lack of sleep? Who knows but I think you need them and now and again, almost like rebooting your computer or servicing your car.
We had an important client meeting on Monday afternoon which went well. I contributed little but my two directors were awesome as usual. Sometimes I look at them when they are steering a meeting with complete pride. Had a really good swimming session and moving into the near deserted shallower, learner pool helped. I don't know if it's because it's warmer, shallower and less chlorinated but it seems almost harder to swim in. My swimming buddy and I were doing 10 continuous length sets at a go, which was really working. The competitive element of him being alongside provided the extra motivation to really make me push and I felt reassuringly knackered and tight afterwards.
The contender was ok though the fight a little disappointing. They had an older family guy, Gary Balletto, who had an impressive record but revealed that he hadn't fought for two years and a younger, more arrogant fighter, Aaron Torres, who was looking at boxing to get him off the mean streets. It was one of the scrappiest, least talented fights that I've seen in a long time. Gary came out swinging and looking for a quick knockout but had obviously lost his accuracy and connected with little of the haymakers that he was launching. Aaron was impulsive and woefully unco-ordinated but at least he was able to connect.
In the fourth round he hurt Gary and I thought it might have to be stopped but he then slipped while trying to connect with the punch to end it all. This gave Gary the chance to recollect himself and it ultimately saved him. GB won the fight but they were both lucky to have fought each other as I think some of the hungrier fighters would have taken them apart. The series is good but not as good as the first one yet. I know everyone always says these kind of things but the format has changed. I miss not having sly there or their post show critiques and there is yet to be a fighter that has caught my attention like Sergio or Alfonso did.
Lost double bill night on Tuesday night which was good. I did get a little frustrated in the first one when Jin was acting almost like the last few months hadn't happened but it kinda worked out alright. Sayeed and Andaluscia (I'd check the spelling on IMDB but I would probably stumble on some kind of spoiler!) headed off to see if the guy in the armoury story about crash landing in a balloon stood up. I gotta say that he was winding me up something chronic as was Locke in the second episode. His dad screws him over by stealing his kidney and he has a chance to land him in a world of shit but rolls over like some docile pup. Christ, he needs to grow a goddam backbone. I was becoming more annoyed at his weakness until the emergency shutters crushed his legs and he got to see some mysterious map on the shutter door when a UV light kicked, interesting. Even more enjoyable was how right at the end Sayeed returned to break the news that the guy in the armoury was bogus. I don't mind waiting for a fornight when at least I know that they aren't going to drag this guys story out for weeks on end.
Headed down to Sevenoaks, where I used to work, on Wednesday to catch up with an old friend. As well as looking forward to seeing him, which I hadn't done for about two years, I was also looking forward to ordering some food from the Slug & Lettuce, that we were meeting in. You know how much I enjoy my food and when I had last been in there (2 1/2 years ago) I had ordered a platter. Along with the requesite flat breads and dips they had some skewers with chicken and chorizo pieces on them. Naturally I'd had chicken before but the not the chorizo and I loved it. I think after my first taste I had entered a little chorizo phase and tried adding it to pizzas and pasta but it never lived up to the 'platter high'. Hence after a long sabbatical I hoped to experience that chorizo eureka moment once again. We gassed for about half an hour or so and then I made my order. Just as I had paid and was walking back my friend suddenly got up to say that he'd had a call from his wife and had to shoot off immediately. I probably could have taken the platter all by myself but I didn't welcome the idea of sitting on my own a la 'billy no mates' in a bar on aWednesday evening. Thankfully they refunded me the cash and I headed back to my car. Maybe if and when I get a date with a girl I'll suggest a slug and lettuce just to experience the platter, though how impressed she will be with chorizo juice dribbling down my chin is another matter.
It was a work friends birthday on Thursday so stopped at Sainsburys to pick up a b/day badge and one of the large scrumptious chocolate cakes and some other bits. I'd broken one of her mugs about four or five months previously and had been promising to get her a replacement since. What a better opportunity then to at last pay my dues. She is legendarily difficult to buy for as if she sees something she wants on the net immediately buys it. What she didn't have though was an assortment of 11 different mugs and one cup and saucer set. The cake was outstanding, particularly with the extra thick double cream that I 'd bought to accompany with it.
I'd ordered those Sennheiser headphones that I had seen in Bluewater on Wednesday and they came through a day later. They are the mx75 sport ones and are the basic inner ear type ones but with a small arm then hooks behind the lip of your outer ear to keep them in place. I considered them because normal inner ear ones seem to just fall out when I move my head by a millimetre yet the full over the head style ones do look a little silly. I read some reviews on amazon which said the only bad points were that they came in neon green. Man, I love neon green. Innovative packaging that they came in and they certainly looked pretty cool. First try in the ears didn't go to well but I will reserve judgement until I've had a further chance to try them out.
That evening was State of Trance and while it played I trimmed and prepared the chicken for the following days lunch. I'm sure many of you have noticed the wonderful recipe for Egg & Crumb chicken on my Food section. Last year for this persons birthday I had brought in my famous Bolognaise sauce and this year after being ridiculed for admitting that I cooked the chicken in margarine I decided I would show them what they were missing. I'd got everything ready, borrowed a camping double gas hob from my step dad and bought a bottle of gas. Preparation of the chicken is required though and with seven mouths to feed spent nearly two hours dissecting the 15 chicken breasts that I'd bought into a range of big and small goujons. The 'egging and crumbing' which birthday girl did was relatively painless, though I was grateful for her help it was just my fussiness in cutting out tiny veins and those goddam, annoying tendon looking bits. Discovering a vein or something like that when chowing down on some chicken is like finding a bone in fish so my OCD'ness was kicking in to remove this problem. We had two large plates done in total and left them in the fridge for the Friday.
I might add that State of Trance was brilliant again. How does Armin manage to source so many cool new tracks, particularly when so many DJ's just play the same old stuff. This mix, like the previous one, was a lot more hard trancey and he seems to be whipping me back up into a frenzy in time for a fortnight Saturday.
Came in on Friday and checked the visitor stats on my site as I usually do every day or two to see that my previous daily record had been smashed and that I'd had over 100 hits to my site, with 80 plus being unique. Wow. I wondered what it could be and then then checked out italk2much.com which I had submitted my site to about a month ago for them to review. They had reviewed and caned it, which I will go into later, and this was where all the hits had come from.
Today though was marge chicken day as my dish had now been renamed and come 12.15 ish we set up the double hob, connected the gas, lifted the shutter to help with the expulsion of cooking smells and I started to melt the margarine in the large frying pan that I'd brought along. There was a lot of chicken to be cooked but I didn't want anyone to go hungry. I ended up having to split it into four equal batches that seemed to take about 20-25 minutes to cook. I love where I work. It might be surreal the notion of me cooking fried chicken in the office but I love the way that when we want to do something we simply find the means to do it. A few months ago I was being ribbed for cooking my chicken in margarine, well this particular dish, and here I was cooking it up for us all to eat.
As I cooked it up others prepared and laid a table, even to the point of printing a menu in my honour:
Main - Poulet a la marge
Sides - Pomme frites, Haricots blancs a la sauce tomate, Haricot verte, Champignon a la marge, Salade verte
Dessert - Gateau fromage blanc fraise, Fromage planche (cheddar, cheddar or cheddar)
Drinks - Coca cola (regular), Coca cola (zero), Pepsi (regular), Pepsi Max, Mineral water
Beverages - Expresso, Expresso deluxe, Mellow Birds, PG Tips tea, Green tea, Fruit tea
Gratuities welcome
An hour and ten minutes after I started the chicken had been cooked and we all sat down at the prepared table. What a feast. I enjoy a hot lunch as you may know but sitting down to see everyone tucking into the chicken that I'd prepared felt great. Naturally I was concerned what others might think as I have an unsophisticated palette and what is enjoyable to me might not be to them. I needn't have worried as we all set about demolishing the food on offer. As I feel at nearly all of our hot meals, the feeling of being a team was great as was chewing down on sweet, succulent fried chicken, chips, baked beans, mushrooms and a buttered roll. Everyone seemed to gourge themselves until there were no pieces left and we pushed our plates away with contented bellies. Post meal banter kicked as one or two of us rubbed our bellies rueing the one piece too many that we'd eaten. That's just the way I like it though. If you can't cook the finest food then at least let your guests leave with full stomachs.
The rest of the afternoon was a muted affair though there was room for a thin-ish slice of strawberry cheesecake to add a little sweetness to the savoury succulence. I downloaded some State of Trances onto iTunes and with them playing and after everyone had head home turned my attention to my website review on IT2M.
I can't really say a great deal about it. If you submit a site for review then you run the risk that it won't be liked and it certainly wasn't. I was described as being "a crappy writer, with no concept of punctuation and obviously a serial killer", that "Everything was long-winded, delusional and completely and utterly pointless" and that I should "Get the hell over yourself". I can't deny it didn't sting, particularly the last comment about getting over yourself. I always felt my site was written with a self deprecating tone, especially with the ironic statement about the kind of people that have sites on the front page. Surely everyone who writes something that they assume others will read has to be into themselves don't they?
Like I said though I couldn't really say anything. If you don't want to hear bad things then don't submit it. Regular readers to the site posted their thoughts and comments as well and I decided to check some of them out to validate their criticism. I'll confess some of them bugged me as I wouldn't lay into someone without prior provocation and I thought I would do them the courtesy of responding with my thoughts on their sites. Doing this, combined with calling their comments unrequested stirred up a right royal hornets nest. This one word led to a right little spat. I had used it to justify why I felt entitled to reciprocate with a review of certain individuals blogs, yet they took it that I had the arse that they had responded.
I was glad that people had visited my site but was simply trying to articulate why I felt I had the right to comment on other peoples sites if they had commented on mine, as opposed to not having the right to lash back at the reviewers on IT2M. Either way they misunderstood me and some verbal bantering ensued. To be fair it got me really pumped up. I had some wicked trance playing, was still charged from the amount of protein that I had consumed and was enjoying the chance to exchange fire with other people. It took me back to the first days of going on the Tidy board when the verbal duelling fired me up and left me feeling invigorated. I guess even combative exchanges are a form of interaction and some interaction is better than none.
It was good to take the gloves off and they responded as they always do by either taking themselves out of the game by resorting to expletive filled retorts (you've just so won when they do that) or trying to act nonchalent then going running back to the board or should that be playground to display the emails that I'd sent direct to their blogs.
So what did I learn.
1. that there are a lot of silly tarts out there who have blogs with salacious titles and unnecessary expletive strewn content in a woeful attempt to make them appear wild or sassy.
2. that there are a fair few blokes who, although in reality are IT geeks, consider themselves gangsta for flipping the bird and speaking with 'attitude'.
3. that whenever you encounter a board 'clique' and don't defend yourself are considered a sap yet when you do are accused of taking it too seriously.
4. that if you don't used juvenile language like 'fuckoff you munting bitch' and attempt to articulate your thoughts more intelligently are told that you are being passively aggressive.
5. that having a website in a world of blogs is a heinous crime
6. that most, but certainly not all, blogs are fluff and bluster. Pretty pictues, fancy wallpapers and swirling fonts that have been 'pimped' to the next level but in fact tell you nothing about the individual. All sizzle but little sausage.
7. that people only want to make a comment on something if it can be seen by others, highlighting the lack of emphasis they place on their own opinion. Being only read by the receiver is not enough and thus it's apparently only valid if others can read it.
Over the weekend they made me Fucktard of the Week which was nice and did make me smile. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about I guess. I enjoyed my 15 minutes of internet fame/shame, it resulted in over 350 additional hits to my site and if that pushed one person to my site who wouldn't have normally gone there and then made them smile then I'll be happy.
I realise that I probably don't come out of this too well. Even documenting it here makes me appear that I've been taking it way too seriously and have obsessed about it. I don't think I have but it's something that happened over the course of the week and thus needed to be mentioned. Yes their thoughts had an impact but if one admits that a compliment has an effect then one has to admit that a criticism will as well.
I am proud of my site. When I re-read the content it still makes me smile but it I know that it certainly isn't faultless. I always wanted a clear, simple and easily navigable layout to my site but compared to other blogs it could look dull and lifeless. Some of the content, particularly the journals, are very long and maybe less than enticing to new visitors. There may also be validity in me being a crappy writer and a poor user of punctuation. For this I can only take steer from those that comment to me. Some like the way I write and others don't. I do like the fact that it does, in my opinion, reward the diligent reader. Dig a little deeper, scratch beneath the surface and you may find a better picture of the real me.
In my more reflective moments I wonder whether it was worth slating others, did it achieve anything? Maybe not but it certainly didn't seem that these others wrestled with their conscious about putting the boot in so why should I feel bad for reciprocating the favour.
So why did I submit it and why do I continue to push for it to gain exposure to new people. For this I'll quote my answer to a friend who asked me the same question. "Yes the site is a central collective for my thoughts but I like to share thoughts and experiences with others. For me, someone liking who I am or liking what I think about, can be a confirmation that maybe I ain't that bad a person. The idea that something I write could get someone thinking or laughing makes me smile and in a way validates who I am and that I have something to offer. Sometimes allowing others into your head doesn't make you feel so alone."
Being fuelled by chicken, trance music and the need to say my piece meant that I stayed up pretty late on Friday night. Even when I got home I was still pumped but eventually managed to nod off. Caught the hours back up on Saturday morning before hitting the gym in the afternoon. I hadn't been for a few weeks so wasn't expecting anything marvellous but it was good. The headphones held up very well and the Armin mix that I was listening to certainly enabled me to keep going when I might have otherwise got bored. Hit a new club/bar that night which wasn't bad but seemed a little 'clique'. Certainly a good venue and had some cosy little bars and nooks that would be excellent to sit down and chat with a girl in if you managed to find one. I was drinking that night for a change which only served to get me very tired. Some Eastern European girl attempted to dig me out over my Pardon Moi t-shirt but frankly I couldn't be bothered. I normally do the driving so my friend and I had our roles reversed and it felt weird. He wasn't firing and the drinks were just making me tired. Left there around 1.00 and headed home. It was good to discover another place to go.
Sunday was a very nothing day really. Washing, tidying up, a little X-boxing, hoovering and general mooching around the flat. I continued listening to the Armin mixes on my nano whilst I did these, even the xboxing, as the music was just so good. There is a remix on ASOT 260 of Lost in Love, which is one of the first ever dance tunes that I truly fell in love with when I first got into dance music. It was on my first ever mix CD, Reactivate 10. The mix is just goddam awesome. It's everything I can do to stop myself jumping in the air and screaming when the crescendo of the build up drops. It's just outstanding and is re-filling my veins with a love of Armin and trance. Until next week then folks.
The chin, the king and Bubba Ho-tep - 07/08/2006
Saw the misery this morning when I took the short cut again. Unfortunately she was approaching from a different direction and hence I caught her as I was forced to accelerate up and out of the village. She was still looking lovely with a nice short sleeve blouse and a black skirt. I think I saw trainers which I must confess didn't really compliment the outfit but are more than understandable if she has a lot of walking to do.
She looked like she was carrying an overnight bag so had probably stayed round her boyfriends for the weekend. Come to think of it the last time I saw her was a Monday and again she was carrying an overnight bag, although she was coming from a different direction. Naturally in an ideal world she would have been staying round a friend's house but I think it highly unlikely that a woman that good looking wouldn't have a boyfriend. She's probably hard work, high maintenance and I clearly wouldn't have a chance so what's the point.
Sometimes it's more fun and easier to deal with when the chances are non existent. Charging in regardless almost has the futile romance of the light brigade. I'll doubt I'll see her again in that bar and if I did I've probably built it up so much now that I wouldn't have the courage to say anything. I think a card is the only option. Pointless maybe but like playing the lottery it has that air of 'well you just don't know, catch her at the right moment and if she's bored one night trawling the web she might discover the real me'. We will see.
Raced home that evening for half an hour in the swimming pool though I brilliantly managed to forget my goggles leading to the chlorine playing havoc with my eyes despite my best efforts to swim with them closed. The contender was excellent that night. It seems they've dropped the team games which is a shame as they were good for revealing characters but they have added a twist by allowing the winners in this round to put themselves on a board to determine who and when they fight in the second round. As for the fight it was an unstoppable frenzy. Both fighters went for it hammer and tongs. Compared to the lumbering fight of last week, which probably only generated about three minutes of decent editable footage, this one must have delivered about three times that amount. There were times when they were just standing toe to toe mashing the shit out of each other. Incredible and it certainly had me on the edge of my seat. Norberto Bravo won which makes it another for the blue team. Another excellent episode.
Turned over to catch the last episode of Saxondale, Steve Coogan's latest show. Although not delivering regular, out loud laughs it was very well played and extremely insightful. At one point he enters the house (plays a rentakil kind of guy) of a bloke that has recently passed away. He notices a tin of new potatoes and questions 'when the moment comes that a man loses the will to peel some spuds and put them in a pan of boiling water'. I'm not at this stage but as a statement and an image it shot me straight to my core and was one that I would think over the course of the coming week. For me this was the beginning of a very reflective, melancholic and almost depressed week.
Over the course of Tuesday and Wednesday I went onto iTunes music store to download a few tunes that I'd heard on streaming soundtracks. I'd heard the tune they play in Crash when the little girl runs out to protect her dad and also the main tune. I'd also been humming, or at least trying to hum, the lovely piano piece from Lost. I got them both and then made the mistake of starting to listen to them which had the effect on me which I've discussed in my music section. Whilst listening to this music, later complimented by a tune by Brian Eno which was used in the Nasa film 'For all mankind', I began to slip into melancholy. I wasn't depressed but I felt deflated, old, unattractive and a little sorry for myself. Ok it's pathetic but I can't be the happy go lucky, self deprecating clown all the time. The main reason I am this person is because I normally push all the things which have the power to upset me to the back of my mind. Whereas maybe I used to fret and worry I realised it was simply easier if I didn't think about things. Yet listen to the right music and it seems to act like a direct conduit into those repressed thoughts. I confess that the music from Lost and Crash combined with my musings over why I hadn't found someone special, why I hadn't had any real interaction or dates with girls for well over a year, whether I could be a better son, a more inspirational brother, a better friend, a more hardworking employee all seemed to overcome me and I shed the odd tear.
Maybe it was a form of release. I think maybe you need these things to help release the feelings and tensions. I also think to have highs, which I regularly do so I'm not feeling suicidal, you have to have lows and this was just a phase that you have to go through. You could say that I shouldn't listen to the music or have started working on creating a playlist of such tunes but the music is really beautiful and maybe one day I'll be able to burn it to CD and listen to it when I have my arms round someone special.
It's funny how when you are feeling down you just want to make yourself more miserable. You listen to music which are proven misery or deep thinking triggers in an attempt to push yourself deeper like an out of control submarine. It's not necessarily self pity but more a feeling that at your lowest ebb you will find salvation, encounter a turning point or a moment of clarity when everything makes sense and clicks right into place. Whether it's there I don't know because one always finds that as the answer is tantalizingly close you are pulled back to the surface like an out of air swimmer. You return to normal and try to push those dark and soul searching thoughts to the back of your mind until they are needed or re-examined again.
My feelings of glumness continued and on Wednesday night instead of hitting the gym, motivation being hard to find, I hired out the Weather Man. I knew it was more of a thinking Nic Cage film but had wanted to see it since it had come out. Nic plays a dysfunctional father, losing touch with his own kids and trying to find peace with his own dad (played by Michael Caine). It was very well played and although some could say that it didn't really go anywhere it's journey was indicative of how I was feeling and hence very right for that mood.
In addition to my weekly email to Texas Amy which I regularly enjoy, I've started to converse through email with a northern girl called Crazy Squirrel. To some extent she should be perfect for me as we got in contact through IMDB, meaning she's into films, and apparently, though I've not seen evidence or are aware of sizes, has a large natural chest. Before I, or anyone else, gets excited she is considerably younger than me at 19 which only leaves room for friendship. She is fun, intelligent and communicative beyond her years but the age is a factor and coming from different generations we are different people. I'm wary of mentioning her because it's always when you do that they then drop off the scene and make you feel foolish for ever having mentioned them.
Sleeping during the week became difficult again though I'm unsure whether this was either caused by or exaserbated by my mood. Even with the fan on, both windows open and sleeping in the buff bar a triangle of duvet to cover my modesty and prevent having my arse eaten out by the next door neighbours cat, which seems to make the occasional foray into my room through the window, I cannot seem to sleep.
I wasn't miserable for the entire week...........ok, okay I might not have been miserable but I was probably subdued. ASOT on Thursday night was good and certainly a lot punchier than I've heard of late. The tickets for the event at Brixton Academy came through and I'm beginning to look forward to it. I'm going with my bro and my friend/director who hasn't seen Armin live or been to a proper 'dance' club for some time. She shares my enjoyment of Armin and her take up of him helped get her into the trance scene. Friday was hot and muggy and I decided to go for a simple evening of DVD pleasure. Watched Two for the Money with Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey which was good. It got pretty formulaic near the end but there was much to enjoy with some cool lines and an awesome apartment that Matthew was given to live in. It was pretty open plan in nature and had a dividing wall between the living room and bedroom. Inset into the wall was a plasma screen tv that rotated allowing you to see it in either room. How wickedly cool is that and that's another idea for when I win huge on the lottery.
Recouped some sleep on Saturday morning and then hit the swimming pool. After about half an hour swimming I realised that I was simply bored having to steer round annoying slow coaches and I just got out. Headed back home to watch the film Bubba Ho-tep. I had heard of this film as it starred Bruce Campbell who I really like but it's odd premise always acted as a bit of a stumbling block. "Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian mummy". Would it be a horror film or a comedy or an uncomfortable mish mash of the two.
I've got to say that I thought it was brilliant. It may have been a B movie with a wild concept but once you'd embraced it, it was great. The script was funny and thought provoking. Yes it had killer lines for Campbell as the King to deliver but it did paint a darker, more thoughtful picture of the pitfalls of getting old and forgotten. I really engaged with the characters and thought Campbell was outstanding. The film had panache and style and although it didn't take itself seriously it still took the making of the film seriously. The music for the film was excellent and lifted it another notch, portraying very deftly the ageing of a rock star. As Warrior King had done the previous weekend it reminded me that films made outside of the restraints of big budget hollywood can still deliver a blast if handled well with originality and energy. A really good film that I enjoyed immensely, so much so that I bought the two disc special edition the following day.
Went out that evening but hit absolutely nothing. There were women around but none that seemed to notice us and we moved onto our regular bar. We considered heading downstairs but any pretty girls that were in there, and there weren't many to start with, seemed to leave and be replaced by short, fat, shaven headed twats who considered themselves hard. With an obvious lack of interaction or the possibility of any we blew the joint and headed to the cinema to check out Miami Vice.
I thought it disappointing. It had the style and the look with it's requisite Ferraris and powerboats but it didn't seem to have a heart. You didn't get the impression that Crockett and Tubbs had history or even a liking of each other. The posters for the film show them looking in different directions and this was certainly true in the films. I never saw them share a joke, break into a smile, have anything to eat, go to sleep or any form of real interaction and hence when Tubbs says 'I never doubt you' I found it hard to attach anything to that statement. The gun battle at the end, which some apparently compared to the Heat firefight, was mucho disappointing. I know it was trying to be moody and cerebral but as that wasn't working they should have chucked in some more action. Farrell wasn't bad, which is tough to admit because I normally don't like him but Jamie Foxx needn't have been it. It wasn't his fault, it's just he didn't have any decent material to work with and thus his role wasn't worthy of an oscar winner. Some people were calling this Bad Boys 3 but if I'm honest I would have more preferred that for it would have been funnier, more action packed and more entertaining. What a shame and further indication that even with great actors, directors and more money you can't guarantee a film's success or quality. Don't get me wrong I didn't think it crap and enjoyed it while watching it, although I was conscious of my arse getting numb which is never a good sign, but it just wasn't as entertaining or involving as Bubba ho-tep.
We hit the tea hut afterwards and ordered a full animal. I wish we hadn't for it was very disappointing. They put this cheap, tastless frankfurter in the bap and it kind of ruined it. It felt cheap compared to everything else that had been cooked or fried. I think when I return I will go back to the classic double cheeseburger with fried egg.
Hit Bluewater on Sunday to get presents for a friend. I don't know if it's because I see limited amounts of women at work and even then when I go out at the weekends but Bluewater seemed to be rammed full of honeys. Jesus it was all I could do to keep walking in one direction as my eyes were darting around like a frightened gazelle. Man it was depressing. Lovely looking things in such varied clothing and most seemingly coupled with boyfriends. I consoled myself with a double quarterpounder from McDonalds, which I've got to say was one of the best burgers I've eaten from Mac's in some time. It was big and juicy and freshly cooked and helped remove the thought of women from my mind for at least five minutes. Considered some Sennheiser headphones as I managed to break my 'overhead' ones a few weeks ago when I through them on the floor in a silly moment of anger. Also bought Bubba Ho-tep as I said earlier. It was reduced to £7.99 which was excellent value considering the features. Even more impressive was the fact that it had an in pack leaflet. That sounds silly but the amount of DVD's you get where they have the clasp to hold something in place but are too cheap to print something is amazing. It only served to add to my purchase satisfaction.
Giddying martial artistry - 31/07/2006
Monday was a race home after work to watch the second series of the Contender. Me, my brother and a friend really got into the first series and it was probably the highlight of last years television. There were so many things to like about it in the music, the subject matter and the bone crunching reality of it. Ok it might have been edited to suit the audience but it still didn't change the fact that the guys had to man up when it called for and be responsible for their own destiny in the ring.
I loved the team games, the internal bickering, the bald headed trainer who we nicknamed 'Eight ball', Sly's little comments and the finality of a defeat. It was always so well produced in how they always concentrated on the losing fighter at the end of the episode and the sad music when he had to hang up his gloves and talk the lonely walk down the darkened street. We were always really behind Sergio 'the latin snake' Mora. He wasn't the show's favourite unlike Peter Manfredo but he impressed me with his manner, politeness, dignity and intelligence out of the ring and his gloves off aggression when in the ring. I couldn't stand Tommy, the hat wearing trainer or Manfredo's dad who looked like Jim Belushi but either way Sergio won and I was over the moon.
Sitting down to watch this series we felt the tingle and magic return when the first chords of the main tune kicked in. The actual fight was entertaining, if a little slow, but did have a knockdown which bodes well. Anyway at least it's started and will now be a regular Monday evening fixture which will cause me to tinker with my swimming schedule a little.
Two meetings on Tuesday which were fun though it was again bloody hot. Managed to grab a hot lunch at Fatty Arbuckles. It wasn't a great burger but it hit the spot and it's nice to occasionally eat a burger with a knife and fork. Another night of TV beckoned with the lost double bill. Two good episodes again. One where they developed Sayeed a little more and looked at his Gulf war past and torturing skills and another really thought provoking, imagination fuelling episode which looked at Claire's pregnancy and revealed another hatch. This show is getting more intriguing and thankfully in these two hit the right mix of entertaining and giving enough info but not too much.
I should have gone to the gym on Wednesday night but it was too damn hot and I wanted to tinker with my site a little. So I stayed late in the office, put on some streaming soundtracks and mooched around. Kept tabs on games and films on IGN and IMDB and entered my blog into another battle. Needless to say I got beaten again and I do know why. It's because it's too long but as I've said before the journal is about me and it's primary goal is to maybe drive others to my site. Just a little frustrating that it doesn't always seem to work. The internet can be a great place for making a connection and interacting with others. It can make you feel like part of a greater community and then other times leave you feeling as lonely as hell. You seem to make a connection with some people and hope some regular dialogue could be generated but it seems that some others just get bored.
Entered another battle on Thursday, which although I lost again, did give me the chance to discover the site of my winning foe. http://3point1four.blogspot.com/ Certainly an entertaining blog and written with the same honesty and sincerity that I try to attach to mine. He also had some views on women and relationships that seemed to echo many of those on my site. I don't mind losing if it helps me discover an interesting read.
Friday was a little sticky in the office and an evening water fight with one of my bosses seemed the perfect way to cool me down. Was particularly entertaining throwing an entire bucket of water over her in the car park. She had been squirting me with a water pistol so it wasn't without provocation or motivation. Once I dried out I raced home to collect my bro before returning to a cinema on the Greenwich peninsula.
One of my favourite films from last year was Ong Bak. A welcome shot of wire free, no cgi martial arts that left me giddy with excitement during and after I'd seen it. Needless to say that the star, Tony Jaa, had been working on another film which I'd been keeping tabs on for when it would arrive over here. It was a film from Thailand and subtitled to boot and because of this was only available on limited release. To this end the website directed me to the closest cinema to me that was showing it. It was a new complex that I'd seen when driving into the Blackwall Tunnel but never actually been to. It was quite cool really. Two floors of screens in a circular building. Got our tickets and over priced drinks and headed up to the second floor. Bearing in mind it's limited appeal I wasn't surprised at it being up in the gods. I was surprised however when I walked in to see three rows of about 15 chairs and the screen. It looked like a motion sensor ride that you might find in an amusement park and as it was full up we were left with the front row. In comparison it was quite a big screen and it was probably the closest I'd sat to a movie screen.
The movie started and in many ways it was quite poor. The acting from some people, the story, some of the dubbing and the way that things had been dreamt up that would look good in a set piece but no explanation given as to why they would be there. You could tell the film wanted to be a western one or at least appeal to the western audience and had it's share of flashy camera movements and quick editing which I did get a little concerned at. I don't mind some of the flashy stuff but I was worried that I might not be able to see some of the fight moves. The story didn't have a lot of cohesion or explanation and was shot on some of the graniest stock I've ever seen but after a time you didn't really mind. What it had was imagination and energy. It spent a lot of time showcasing the elephants which then paid off near the end and explained why Tony reacted as he did.
It wasn't your staid hollywood film that follows a series of tick boxes and although a little jumbled and chaotic, it was it's energy that dragged you along with it. When the fight scenes started you couldn't help but gasp out loud, maybe put together a little clap or even just quietly mouth obscenities. The fights in Ong Bak are excellent and I did wonder if they could be improved upon and amazingly they were. The first major fight in this bus/tram warehouse had some amazing stunts but still didn't catch fire for me. The next was this continuous four-five minute shot as Tony worked his way up this circular staircase dispatching goons at every opportunity. By the time he got to the top you could see his was completely knackered but it was still amazing.
The best fights though were the ones where he was upset. Then he was fighting angry and you could see the rage coming through in his fighting. There are so many martial arts films where the hero talks about his combat skills only being a form of defense and he seems to just parry blows and push others away. In this one though, and certainly at the end fight which seems to last for about 15 minutes, he fought annoyed and intent on causing some serious damage. This is the kind of fighting I've always wanted to see. A fighter who has had something taken from him and is so enraged he wants to take it out on everyone else. Tony goes through this troop of bad guys snapping arms, knees and any other bones he can think of in mind boggling, wonderful style. The moves are breathtaking and so inventive. I couldn't stop giggling in a mixture of shock and awe. He really gave the impression that he was dangerous and you felt like you wouldn't want to enter his body zone for fear of coming out with a dislocated shoulder and your arm broken in three places. The film even managed to inject some x-ray style footage of bones breaking and snapping.
You've got to hand it to the main lead. He researched the ancient art of Muay Thai for Ong Bak and in this film even went some way to invent a new style which related to the elephants (ie breaking, stomping etc). He is incredibly athletic, creative and does possess some emotional range. When he is torn apart by the death of those close to him you can really see it and the rage that the sorrow creates is unleashed in a wave of bone crunching fury. I hope he goes from strength to strength, getting more fame and bigger budgets. One can only hope that a hollywood studio doesn't get hold of him and water down his style and impact to the insipid level that it did with Jet Li in Lethal Weapon 4. Considering this is only his second major film (take a look at Chan, Li and Van Damme's early films) I think he has a very promising future and one that he richly deserves.
Such an entertaining film. When I left the cinema I felt exactly like I had after Ong Bak. Tingling, breathless and light headed from what I'd seen. Ok the makers might have chucked just about everything in the film to push it along but in a way I respect them for doing their utmost to entertain the audience. Like I said before in this age of sanitised films where studios are wary of taking chances and want to put everything into the trailer this was a really welcome blast of exuberant film-making that dazzled, enthralled and exilarated me.
I had to be up early on Saturday to get my car in for it's first yearly service. Wow a year. It's been a good car and I've enjoyed driving it though I do confess that I hope I might have had a few more compliments from women about it. I don't mean that as some kind of chav, boy racer but I would have liked to have maybe gone out on a date once in it and had the car looking spick and spam in the evening when I picked up the girl. I'm not being a caveman but when you pay that little bit extra it would have been nice to have my ego stroked by a female about it at least once in the last year. Dropped the car off and not wanting to walk all the way home decided to go and find a park somewhere. Thankfully it was lovely and sunny and after grabbing some cans of coke found a little park. It was completely empty and I took the chance to soak up some rays and listen to my Nano. It was really nice actually. I read a little of the paper and it reminded me that it's possible to get some real pleasure from the simplest of things. Naturally I made a mental note that I should get up earlier more often but I'm sure that will never happen.
The garage called earlier than I'd expected and I picked it up with no troubles or problems to report. Hit the swimming pool with my bro and did about 30 minutes of lengths before they closed the swimming lanes and got out the float matts. The big kid in me was desperate to play on these and we spent the next half an hour clambering up onto and them and trying to knock each other off our respective circular floats. The only downside was that every time I tried to pull myself up onto a float I would rub my chest like it was sandpaper across the float. By the time I got out of the pool my chest was practically red raw and a little tender, especially when the hot water of the shower hit it. Went to the park after for some american football throwing. I enjoy it but I must admit my bro is very good at throwing, better than me, and likes to unleash some real long range 'bombs' now and again. I think I must have dozed off a little in the park before we grabbed some nosebag from Sainsburys. I even got a little quiche, how parisian!
Thinking that more people, ok girls, might be out now that pay day had come my friend and I decided to head out. Grabbed a drink in O'Neills but again seemed to be getting unnecessary knocking from shaven headed arsewipes so moved onto to another place. I must have seen about three sets of girls read my t-shirt and then start laughing and getting their friends to look over. This time it was the 'can you please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes' one. The third and final ones were a couple of girls who then actually took the time to tell me how much they liked my t-shirt and how it made them laugh. We started chatting and they were both very entertaining. They were both teachers and one was 33 and the other 24. The eldest had a very good line of conversation with an assortment of 'out there' questions and we impressed ourselves by getting Machu Pichu, the Ngoragora crater and the finger into the conversation. We bought them some drinks and discussed where we might move onto later on. We were having some laughs and the 33 year old revealed that she had never sent or received an email and virtually never went on the internet. Out went the point in me leaving her with one of my cards then. She seemed a strange one really. She didn't want to embrace the technology of the internet yet had a picture of her ample and impressive bikini covered breasts as a screensaver on a phone.
I thought we were getting on well although I felt the 33 year old, who was the more entertaining, was far more interested in my friend. We were all laughing and conversation was very diverse ranging from methods of arse wiping and kissing to music and movies. They weren't adversed to looking around at other guys in the bar which I'm sure they would have got the arse with if we have done it as blatantly as they were. The 33 year old started to talk about how she liked being in the nude and did the housework naked. I expressed concern that she might cause tugging on her breast muscles if they had no support when hoovering. She said that there wasn't a problem and I jokingly said well they look fine but if might be more of a 30 pen colouring set test rather than a pencil test if she continued doing so. She mocked that she didn't like me anymore. Her mate disappeared to the toilet, she then joined her and the next minute they both walked straight out without a word. I was a bit pissed off if I'm honest. I hadn't caused it and our conversation had moved to this level of sarcasm but I believe they had some more irons in the fire and wanted to run with another meet up. The biggest frustration was that it was now 11.30 and we had no chance of getting in anywhere else. We had thought of going to the bar from last week but even though it looked busy the bouncer wasn't letting anyone in.
How typical, I can understand them keeping options open but it was just the fact they we were now left with no options. I was disappointed in their lack of manners but hey that's girls. Only with hindsight would we have checked our watches and then left them at 10.30 to head round to the other bar. Knowing my luck it wouldn't surprise me if the misery had been in that night as well. I dropped my mate off home and headed home frustrated. It was just a shame that an entertaining night had been curtailed so abruptly and with no chance of us moving on anywhere else. Even more frustrating was that for some unknown reason the t-shirt was getting a whole lot of attention and may have garnered even more had we made to the other bar. I know everyone says that you don't meet women in clubs and I'm not looking for a future wife there but it would be nice to go once and maybe come back thinking 'wow, I met someone nice tonight, maybe something will come of it'.
Sunday was uneventful and we watched the Garfield movie on a friends recommendation which was truly dreadful. The only bit we laughed at was when of the dogs who could talk because it seems that some could and some couldn't said to Garfield 'what the hell are you talking about'. If only a studio executive had said the same to the guy who pitched the idea of this to the studio.
Until next week.
The sub animal - 24/07/2006
Saw the misery from the new bar that we'd been to a few saturdays ago as I took a short cut to work on Monday. In the bar she looked a little sullen and pasty faced but walking down the road she had some colour in her face and radiated a wonderful natural beauty. She wore a simple black top and a cream knee length skirt which wasn't fussy but looked very elegant. It was nice to have a reminder of what she looked like. Got into the office to discover that the girl with the incredible chest that I'd given a card to had taken a look at the site and emailed me. She particularly liked the point that I made about 'fake tits damaging the integrity of those with natural boobs'. We started chatting (via the email) and I laid out the points that I'd raised in my previous journal entry about her.
She came across as quite switched on and appreciated that they generated a lot of unwanted attention from either lustful males or jealous females and sometimes wished they were smaller. I wasn't hitting on her and was raising some valid points and it was nice to discuss these with someone direct. She was very young (18, though she clearly didn't look it and put it down to having to grow up very quickly) but she seemed to have her head screwed on well and I ended my communication with her with a different impression of her than when I started. Nice girl and maybe if we see each other again in the bar I'll buy her a drink and have a quick chat. I'm glad I gave her a card, she was a worthy recipient.
I had hoped that maybe the barmaid would have got in contact or maybe once she had read on my journal where I would have liked to have taken her, dropped me a line but she hadn't. Maybe she's lost my web address or really just isn't interested. Think I should take the hint really.
Hooked up with a friend for the evening swim but had to double my efforts as we only did half an hour. Followed this with a quick drink which I confess was in the bar I had been in on Saturday. I was relieved that she wasn't there but hadn't I instigated that we go there. Ok, ok I was weak. I might be older and more mature but I still got desires. I'm writing this a week later so I've got my shit together now and I won't be embarrassing myself, though if we are out again I can't say that I might not see her in the bar again. On future occasions I'll no doubt be driving and thus more in control and thus won't be acting foolishly.
Did some client entertaining on Tuesday which was nice. A good meal and we had a laugh. Nothing rowdy but it was enjoyable. Watched the Matrix Revolutions later that night, which I'd bought on Sunday, and it was good to see it again. The trilogy might have dropped the ball with the last two and although overly complicated the story is still quite clever. The action set pieces are mesmerising, particularly the machines attack on the dock. The way the APU's and sentry guns pour fire into the hole when the sentinels first come in is amazing. The image of the final APU's briefly holding back the wave of sentinels is just awesome.
Really went for it in the gym on Weds and I don't know whether it was the fact that I pushed hard or in the heat was prone to sweat more but the sweat mark on my tracksuit bottoms was incredible. Once they'd dried on a line the mark round the back was like a tide mark on the dead sea. I submitted my site again on Thursday night for a battle of the blogs challenge while ASOT was on. Incredibly I won. I was delighted. Maybe it's a random thing but after having three straight defeats it was nice to know that somebody had taken a look at my blog and preferred it to someone elses. To be fair my blog isn't my strongest part but I'm just hoping exposure on here will drag them over to my site, which naturally is the best thing since sliced bread. I think many probably find the journal too long winded, which is a fair comment, but writing it on a daily basis isn't something I could or want to do. Best to get a loyal following who maybe look forward to a once weekly saga.
I submitted my website for a couple of online reviews and will be interested to see what some others say, if they come back. I guess it depends on whose reviewing it really. If they are a silly teenager then they will probably only want short, snappy, expletive strewn pieces or if a 42 year old beard stroker then would prefer random shots of my back garden.
Friday was a client meeting with an almost immediate leave from the office and a hour and a half drive. Meeting went well and thankfully the drive back was relatively trouble free. By the time we got back to the office we were all fairly zonked out what with the stifling heat. Decided to head out that night after work and after slipping into my Geek t-shirt headed up to all-bar-one overlooking the river in Shad Thames. It was nice to have a drink in the pleasantly warm evening. Lovely as well to be standing outside look at such an iconic London view. In front of us we had Tower Bridge with the City and Gherkin (skyscraper) behind it. Amazing really that such a special view could be so easily seen and it does remind you how lucky we are to live so close to our capital city. The amount of people around the world who would like to be looking at that view, just as I would like the opportunity to be looking at other iconic views around the world.
Despite the wondrous view there was very little happening in the bar, certainly of the female kind, and not wanting to finish the night blasted down to our usual haunt. Again there didn't seem to be a great deal happening. I don't know if everyone was knackered by the weather or the fact that it was a week before pay day. Moved downstairs and there were certainly a few more people. A girl complimented me on my t-shirt at the bar and then asked me to turn round for her friend to see it about 10 minutes later. She did introduce herself and I wasn't unkind or stand-offish but confess to being mesmerized for about ten minutes by her stony faced friends appealing cleavage.
Vacated at around 12ish, disappointed that the night hadn't delivered and decided to hit the tea hut and think the unthinkable of going for the animal. The animal is a creation that we've seen on the board for the last four years or so that we've been attending the hut. To be honest it's a bit of an urban myth, a monster of a burger/sandwich that stalks the murky depths of abject hunger and has always intimidated our frail egos. When we reached the counter I noticed that it had been blanked out. Shock, horror. We thought we would try anyway and still asked for it. The guy who was taking the order smiled with the knowledge that we were obviously regulars and knew our shit. 'We haven't got all the ingredients mate' he replied. 'Can you make us the closest' I asked and then explained the power of the animal and how in our years of attendance we hadn't had the courage to order it. He concurred that it was indeed something special and would do his best to whip up an alternative.
What he eventually handed us was something of edible beauty. A large white bread bap, two burgers, melted cheese, fried egg, two or three rashers of bacon, fried onions and a pineapple ring. I think the only difference from an animal is the exclusion of mushrooms and sausages and is normally served in a baguette. I applied liberal amounts of ketchup and along with our teas returned to the car. I was nervous. The idea of fruit in a burger was new to me. I'd seen it on Wimpey menus but the thought used to unnerve me. How wrong could I have been. It was lovely and added a sweetness to the proceedings. Christ, this bad boy was filling and succulent. Forget an all-day breakfast, this was an all-day meal. It was so big that by the end I was eating parts that were untouched by the ketchup deluge.
What an orgasm of taste, what a satisfying burger and what astonishing value. Finished it and then took that first swig of tea which created a mind blowing vortex of taste as it collected all the juices and packaged them into a liquid nectar. What a way to end an evening and a reminder of the importance of the tea hut if a poor night needs salvaging.
Saturday seemed to be a case of continual mis timings. I woke to see the sunshine streaming from the heavens. The forecast had said it was going to be miserable so decided to make something of the day. Booked an afternoon haircut and raced to the pool for a good hour plus swim. The plan had then been to hit the park afterwards to soak up a little sun but as I left the pool I saw that it had become overcast and on looking further back saw the storm clouds over the park. Brilliant. Managed to bring the hair cut slightly forward and then got caught in the downpour as I walked to the hairdressers. I didn't mind. I was feeling hot and always like the rain as it clears both the dirt and chavs from the streets. Hooked up with a friend later than night and headed over to the new bar where we had had some success a few weeks previously and where I hoped I might see the misery again. Wore the pardon moi t-shirt and got ready to paint a line but alas it wasn't our night. The bar was only about a third full and most of them were guys. We tried to have a laugh and hold out for the arrival of some more honeys but as the minutes ticked on past 10.00pm the expectation level of a fun evening dropped away. It's amazing in this country how with closing times of pubs and clubs that really (and this certainly applies if you are a bloke) if you aren't sorted and in your chosen place by 10.15 you are unlikely to get in anywhere else.
We had considered moving on earlier but were stuck in the quandary of 'do we move or hang on to see if things pick up'. By 10.30 it was obvious that they weren't going to and with quiet resignation we finished our drinks and decided to call it a night. I'm not saying that we are players or expect to pull every night. It is nice to feel that tingle in the air, that feeling that something fun might happen but this night that little pixie certainly wasn't flying around sprinkling her flirtation dust. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. I guess you need to have the disappointing nights to appreciate the good ones though it's amazing how just one or two good ones can lull you into this false belief that maybe things are changing and you are in your prime.
Sunday was a very lazy affair. A little washing, some telly watching, a little xbox, pasta for tea, more tv watching and that was it. There was some motorcycle racing, which is always good to see and we had all three MotoGP (Hayden won which strengthens his position), world superbikes (nice to see kagayama do the double) and even some British superbikes. Until next week.
Bullfighting and chunder - 17/07/2006
Got into work to discover that my email to the blog I mentioned last Friday had been very well received. How nice that after a week of disappointments in trying to make contact with others, a blog that genuinely surprises and interests me would be so appreciative of my little old email.
Both of them liked it so much that they actually created a post all about the wonder of receiving letters and what impact that they have. Just as they said that my letter couldn't have been more well received I couldn't have asked for them to react to it any better. If I'm honest, in this impersonal internet world I'm as pleased as punch that me expressing praise and gratitude to them could have such an impact.
Hit the swimming pool and I don't know if I was swimming differently or twisting my head in a new fashion but I somehow managed to rub my neck raw. Add to this I also managed to swim straight into one of those solid plastic floats within the lane dividers. I hit it hard enough to skew-whiff my goggles. I was aware of this wonderfully shapely woman swimming in the slow lane. She was wearing a white bikini and I could make out that she had blonde hair but nothing else really due to my goggles being fogged to shit. I decided to concentrate on my swimming instead and thought that once I'd broken the 40 minute mark of the hour long swim that I'd take a break and remove my goggles to drink her in. Unfortunately as I touched the wall and stood up she was already out of the water and walking away. She didn't turn round, stop at the showers or give me the hint of profile so I could see her face. I could see enough from her rear that I wanted to see more though. Another guy couldn't help but look either. Dammit, I wanted to see her face to know whether I should commence day dreaming of her or immediately write her off. I burnt through the final 20 minutes in anger at the fact that I'm sure she was a honey and that guys like me weren't allowed to have girls like that.
Went to Tesco's to get the ingredients for the spag bol that we were having on the Tuesday night but as I'd saved a fair chunk away this month was trying to watch the pennies. Not having enough cash combined with my inability to secure a babe saw me slip into a bit of a mood. With so many people on the planet how can you stand out from the crowd and remove your anonymity. What do you have to do to be noticed.
Tuesday's spag bol was of course excellent. 800g of extra lean mince, mushrooms, onion, courgette, 1 1/2 carrots, two tins of Napolina chopped tomatoes, two Oxo cubes, glug of red wine and a lloyd grossman sweet red pepper sauce. Served with lumache pasta, parmesan, grated cheddar cheese and an accompanying garlic bread. I hadn't had it for over a month because of my diet thing and it was good to be home. The after taste in the mouth was fantastic. It was Lost double bill night and I have to hand it to the creators that although I never really liked Charlie, his ostracization from the group was well handled and made me sympathise with his character. Jack is getting harder and tougher but I thought Lock was out of order when he smacked down Charlie. They were ok episodes but not stellar.
Wednesday was the commemoration plus one, of the day when our offices burnt to the ground last year. To demonstrate the companies amazing fortitude and by that I mean the admirable resolve of my two directors, we decided to have a barbeque. Hence in the yard, mere metres from the remains of the demolished office we set out disposable BBQ's and created ourselves a lunchtime feast. Quarterpounders, numerous sausages including different variants such as steak, english breakfast, pork and apple and lamb and mint, salad, dips and even jackets cooked in the microwave, then wrapped in tin foil with a liberal coating of butter and popped onto the BBQ. Man it was a yummy hot lunch and we all gorged ourselves. We chatted, we ate, we drank soft drinks from the can and it felt good to be together and as a team.
Thursday was ASOT and Armin delivered the goods as usual. I might take a break from him for a day or two but a blast of his music still has power over me. I love being affected by music and the trance he plays just gets into my core and I find it hard to control the urge to get up and dance. If nothing else, at least I honour him with a thumping finger in the air.
Over the course of Thursday and Friday I had received a couple of complimentary emails from a woman who'd seen and liked the style and layout of my site. I always knew I wanted my site to look clear and simple and have to thank my friend for her insight into the original colour and layout. Anyway I naturally thanked the woman for her compliments and explained how I'd got the site from mr site and the ease of it's of use. Lo and behold she went and checked them out and bought a package. By the end of Friday she had set it up and it was off and running. That really made me feel chuffed. I felt like I'd really made a difference. I'm not being arrogant but she made an approach, I offered some friendly advice which she acted on and now she had a site. Just as last week I'd talked about how mojo shivers had made a difference to my Friday and the impact that both Patrick and Breanne had had on me, now here I was giving something back. It might sound silly but it really made my day. I sent a congratulatory email to her site and hope that it will be the first of many for her. She even went and bought Serenity on DVD purely from the movie review of it that I'd written.
Stayed late on Friday to finish off some work for a client which was fun. After a quiet week it felt good to be doing something constructive, even if it was mundane and I always enjoy staying late with my two friends/directors and making a contribution. Especially when there is music and laughter. Got in for the remainder of the spag bol that we'd had on Tuesday. Needless to say that having had a few days to marinade together it was even better than Tuesday's effort. I hired out a couple of DVD's and watched the first of them that night, which was Lucky Number Slevin.
I've gotta say that I wasn't expecting much. When a film is proclaimed as cool this and cool that you sometimes worry that it will be all style over substance but it wasn't. The script was funny, clever and involving, the acting from the likes of Willis, Freeman and Hartnett were excellent and even Lucy Lui was bearable, and I normally can't stand her. Bro and I were both impressed and really enjoyed it. It was violent, it was dark and surprising but I can't say a great deal more in case it gives anything away.
Saturday was a belter of a day and we decided to use it by hitting a local park. Slapped on some lotion and spent a couple of hours throwing an American Football and frisbee at each other. It was a nice way to spend the afternoon and anything that adds a little colour to my alabaster body is no bad thing. The park had a fair smattering of people in it, including a few girls in bikinis. Maybe because I take very few summer holidays the site of a girl in a bikini drives me wild. I don't run up to them and start rubbing the tops of my thighs but I can't help but look over more frequently than I would if it was an old dear in a wheelchair. My bro punted out the idea of hitting the states for spring break which I must confess I'd love to do, though I may be a tad old. Immediately started thinking of designing a t-shirt that said 'Hi, I'm English, come and say hello'.
I know it's a stereotype that the Americans like the British but I must admit I like the Americans. I find them an interesting and exciting nation and I think if a friend had someone come over from the US be it male or female I would be keen to meet them and chat to them. I like their culture and certainly the ones I've met seem to live for the now and possess that spark that makes them good to be around.
Headed home to check out the second of our DVD's which was The Matador. Pierce Brosnan was playing against type in this as a rather seedy and on the verge of breakdown hit man. It really was a good film with a truly stellar, attention grabbing performance from Pierce. The supporting cast were all very good and it was such an enjoyable film with a quality script and plenty of good moments. How great to get two quality films but if I had to pick a favourite it would be The Matador. After the hours in the park it was a great way to unwind in the late afternoon and I decided to head out with my brother that night.
Jumped in the bath, donned my Pardon Moi t-shirt and started having a few drinks before my bro and his mates arrived. It was nice to be freed from the responsibility of driving (we were going to get buses) and I looked forward to getting tipsy. Did a couple of shots, including a red aftershock, baileys and absinthe one and laughed and joked with bro and mates. Headed to the bus stop where I started chatting to a couple of girls that were also waiting. I wasn't hitting on them but the alcohol was beginning to take effect and I was loosening up my mouth. I ran down the street to drop off the DVD's and politely tell a girl that she had a great bottom in the cut off jeans that she was wearing before hooking back up with everyone in the pub/bar.
The barmaid that I'd given my first card to was working and I approached to make our order. There was no recognition of me on her lovely little face but after giving her the list I speculatively said 'did you ever take a look at that site'. She suddenly smiled and said yes she had. Wow that made my day. Yes it would have been nice to hear from her but it's brilliant to know that she did at least take a look at it and hadn't just thrown the card away. I headed over to the gang and as I slowly got drunker tried not to think too much of her lovely big eyes and almost shy/nervous expression. I saw the girl with the incredible chest that I'd seen over in another bar once before, and mentioned in my journal at the time. I handed her a card and said 'Can I just give you this and say that I'm fascinated by you and not because of your boobs but by what impact they have had on you' She smiled and I said that I wouldn't trouble her again.
Returned to the bar to get some drinks for everyone and she served me again, though if I'm honest I had positioned myself that she would. She really is very pretty. Alcohol intensified my attraction and I think I might have tried too hard though I never crossed the line of making her feel uncomfortable. I ascertained her name, which was lovely, and her age, 21. She probably thought I was a pestering, obsessive twat but I would love to take her out, just once, on a proper date and take the time to find out more about her and who she is. Maybe take her to my favourite Italian restaurant in Wapping before taking a drive over to Canary Wharf for a night time walk around there. I know that might sound cheesy but I love the vibrancy and food in this particular restaurant and always find Canary Wharf breathtaking and exhilerating at night, so I'd hope that at least it would be something that no one else would have done with her.
Trouble is that I'm old enough to be her uncle and she probably thinks all I'm thinking of is settling down and marrying. In reality we are probably the same mental age and she'll have had more relationship experience than me! But I know my place. I've got to stick to cynical, over the hill 30's who are desperate to tie you down to their painfully predictable lives. When I asked if she would ever consider letting me take her out she said it was too complicated and told a friend that she wasn't interested. That's fair comment I guess. Age gap and a lack of attraction will kill most things. It's a shame, she was a sweet dream while it lasted, even if that was intensified through my drunkedness,and it was nice to feel the warmth of that smile. She'll fade from my memory, they always do. Yes the faces remain but the desire and longing attached to them will go away and with each successive failure or lack of interest it gets progressively easier to force them from your mind.
Never mind and I continued to get drunker. Managed to spill some red reef onto my t-shirt which pissed me off a little but on the whole I was good tempered. Chatted to some other of my bro's mates and probably pushed my site to them a little too hard. I was in a mood to dance and to chat up almost anyone but the poor dj wasn't dropping any quality tunes and there wasn't anyone attractive in the place, well certainly anyone that would compare to the barmaid. 12 o'clock came and we left and waited for the bus. Things weren't spinning but there was no doubting that I was truly mashed. Kept myself quiet sitting for the bus but I was keen for it to arrive. I do remember slouching down on the seat when I was on it and surprisingly I must have been so gone that I didn't even attempt to sing any songs.
Staggered off the bus and made it to my house. Things became a blur then as I stripped off my clothes and then crawled on my hands and knees into the toilet. I realised I had a lot inside me so did the only thing possible and put my finger down my throat. You know when you are truly hammered when the only rational course is making yourself sick. It's amazing how it's trained into you to stay away from the bowl yet get drunk and you end up cradling it in your arms like a close friend. You find yourself pushing your face so far inside that you could almost apple bob though all you are trying to do is ensure there is no blowback on your clothes and that all the chunder is within the flush catchment area. Nothing worse than trying to clear up any sick when you are drunk. I still find it incredible how explosive it is when it does come up. So quick, almost coming out of your nose and causing your eyes to water when you retch but there's nothing more to bring up. Made it back to my bed and collapsed. Blew again into a bucket that I'd taken in with me and rolled over to enjoy a sweaty sleep. I woke a few times during the night and was conscious of the chunder taste in my mouth but knowing I couldn't manage the stagger to the toilet and needed teeth clean tried to forget it for the 30 seconds I needed to drift off back to sleep.
You can't beat that hangover sweat or the first look in the mirror after a heavy night when your hair is stuck to your forehead, your skin looks pasty, your mouth tastes of stomach acid and your eyes look lifeless. But I think it's good to have session now and again. Readers to this journal will know that I'm normally the one driving so the chance to have a good old drink and fool around was welcome. I also reminded myself that I think I'm good fun. Yes I binged but why not, I'm hardly a regular drinker. I was willing to chat to anyone and only wish that I could have been in the presence of other women or a dancefloor with some decent tunes. Needless to say I took it easy for the first couple of hours. Drank half a cup of tea and ate some toast. I did drink a shit load and it makes me wonder what worse state I would be in if that alcohol was still inside of me. Slow bath and then hit the shops. Got a McDonalds which certainly filled a hole though I was disappointed with their new onion rings. I don't like criticizing Ronald but they looked like they had been fried in three month old fat. It was nice to have something in my stomach for it to digest and I felt energy slowly returning to my body. Picked up Glengarry Glen Ross and Matrix Revolutions on DVD for only £2.99. I mean at those kind of prices you just have to don't you.
Crashed out in the afternoon with the original superman on the tv. Chris Reeve really was very good and did create two distinct characters. His superman is excellent, especially when confidently flirting with Lois and the film is still really top notch. I love the way they spent the time at the beginning purely setting up characters that wouldn't be seen until the second film. After tea watched Glengarry Glen Ross which is still brilliant. The acting by the cast is uniformly superb though I'd have to say that both Jack Lemmon and Al Pacino are in terrific form. Alec Baldwin also turns in a brief but scene stealing performance. I remember watching it about six months after becoming an estate agent and thinking 'oh my god, what a soul-less empty career path I've chosen'.
Finished with a final film of the weekend, Waterworld on tv. I know this got panned but I think unfairly so. Some small bits might be corny but there is much to enjoy. Kevin Costner is superb and his character refreshingly blunt, his ship is really cool and I genuinely felt sorry for him when it got destroyed and some of the set pieces in it are sensational, particularly the one when the smokers attack the settlement and costner is trying to get out. The film takes me back to those brave, apocalyptic mad max style films that I enjoy so much. On a final note I also like the way the Universal logo is used at the beginning of the film to show the world being flooded.
Thanks again for reading. Sorry for the delay in posting but my PC got infected with a virus and thus was out of action for a few days.
I don't even know I'm doing it - 10/07/2006
After the previous day's running around I was truly knackered on the Monday morning. Pushed myself to go swimming though and became incensed by the amount of hapless twats who kept getting in my way (see Rants). Tuesday was the first semi final of the World Cup between Germany vs Italy and I sat down with my bro to enjoy it. Both teams played really well and although I wanted Germany to proceed Italy did play better and did deserve the victory. I'd also bought the fourth series of Quantum Leap on DVD and we watched the first episode which had Sam and Al swapping places. It's good to know that I've got a good few episodes to chug through when there is little on telly. Should have gone to the gym on Wednesday but en route decided that it was pointless trying to make a concerted effort to watch the World Cup and then miss the second semi final. Besides I wasn't that fussed about the weigh in after that disappointing 1/2lb loss after two weeks. The match, as is always the case when you make a special effort to watch a sporting event, didn't deliver though at least the French went through and the Portuguese revealed themselves to be even more dirty, cheating, diving bastards than when they were playing us.
I downloaded a couple of state of trance's for the nano which I was pleased about on Thursday. It was quiet at work and I looked around the blog world for something interesting to read. I had over the course of the week sent some messages to some blogs that I found entertaining. Not crappy 'love your site' ones but reasonably well constructed, complimentary ones. I confess to being really disappointed by the lack of response. I know people will say that they are probably busy but it does make me wonder what point you have to reach in the evolution or maintenance of your blog when you simply can't be bothered to respond to complimentary comments from new readers to your blog. I had also had a mooch round myspace and similarly found a couple of girls that looked nice with interesting profiles. I sent them all messages, again ones that I thought were funny and highlighted points they had mentioned in their profiles. I do try to rise above the standard 'Hi sexy, wanna be my friend' pap. Again the response was cool. Ok I wasn't expecting marriage or lasting friendship but there is a contentment when you have sent 'out there' about six or seven messages and think well maybe there are a few irons in the fire out there. In reality there weren't and making a connection on the internet world can at times be just as hard as the real world. At the moment the lovely Amy from myspace and J from Finding Fruitcake are the only people reminding that there are some genuinely nice people out there. My new t-shirt that one of my colleagues had got me arrived and fit better than the rather snug one that came last week. Is says 'Pardon Moi' on the front and 'I don't even know I'm doing it' on the back. I look forward to wearing it soon.
Friday was the time of the weigh in for the diet. To be honest I'd lost heart in the competition for the final two weeks after that miserable 1/2 lb loss. I'd still been trying to cut back a little but a gradually increasing return of hunger and less attendance of the gym spelt doom I thought. Amazingly I'd lost another 4 lbs. I know this isn't very much but considering I've not really been 'giving it some' I was astonished and, if anything, a little frustrated that I'd not tried harder for the last two weeks.
Looking through some more random blogs on blogexplosion I came across this one site on Friday morning that just blew me away. Rather than explain how good it was I'll just copy in the email that I wrote them after avidly reading it for most of the morning.
"Hi Guys
I copied this to both of you as it's both of you that I want to address. I hope you won't think me rude for duplicating the same message.
I've been flicking through an assortment of blogs over the last few weeks. It generates credits on blog explosion which I can then use to enter 'battle of the blogs'. It's a poor way to get my blog, and more importantly my site, noticed particularly as I seem to get beaten and few seem to actually visit either.
I confess to wading through a host of banal and yawn inducing blogs ranging from over political stuff to heavy religion and IT tedium. Even the personal blogs I've encountered seem shallow, light in content and vain. You read a blog to try and get inside the head of a person but unless they offer up something genuine or sincere it's really hard to care or take an interest in them. I try to keep my own rambles intimate and personal to reward the reader and use as a cathartic device but have become disillusioned at many of the other sites that I've seen.
I then found yours and have been hooked. Others have commented on and thus I'm sure you are already aware of your impeccable word craft. Creative, imaginative and enticing to read. It's very quality humbles me into thinking that my content suddenly looks very shabby in comparison. Being good writers is one thing (and its amazing that two kindred spirits would both be so good) but it's the subject matter that lifts it above anything else that I've read.
You are both so open, so sincere and so able to articulate exactly what you are feeling that I've devoured your words like a starving man. I've read and been truly touched by mojo's unease at the airport, the blowing out of his attendance at the wedding, the beautiful time in the tent, when mojo sang the song in your bedroom and you lay on the bed together, your visit to the church and other pieces of your lives and recollections. Some of the pieces were written with the kind of passion, intimacy and love that only others can dream of decorating their so called 'personal' blogs with.
The power of good writing is to be able to affect emotion and the words and images you have created in my mind have truly affected my mood today. It's made me quietly reflective, evoked memories of childhood crushes and reminded me of the wish that I could one day truly experience, even for a short period of time, what it is that both of you have.
You could say that the blog world was like the real world. You search through a sea of dross, you begin to become disillusioned that you will never find that spark or that nugget of gold and then when you least expect it you stumble across something that for a time genuinely touches your soul. Your descriptions and mood setting have almost reminded me of the way that Stephen King could bring so many of his stories and characters to life. Naturally I don't mean they have been horrifying but that he had the ability to weave scenes in my mind that seemed incredibly raw and possessed a lingering resonance that could be digested after reading like a fine wine.
Thank you for sharing your memories and articulating them so well, thank you for letting me into your hearts and letting me see through your eyes and experiences. A very average Friday has been illuminated by the radiance of your writing and thoughts. I've blogmarked your site and will look forward to taking another deep, immersive look round one day soon.
ps Although I've emailed this to you I'm happy to post this up as a comment on your site if you would like others to see the credit that I think you both so richly deserve."
For those that might be interested the you can peruse this wonder at http://mojoshivers.blogspot.com/
With the diet over and the fact that our only female colleague had been on holiday all week we decided to continue the 'man town' feeling with a hearty hot lunch. Pastie, beans, buttered rolls and chips. Man I love a hot lunch. The five of us then sat around munching, talking about university days for those that went and letting out the odd burp now and again. We weren't busy and it was nice to chill, chat and let the food go down. Headed out that night with my mate. I was wearing my new t-shirt which staggeringly elicited a response from a girl and her three mates. She asked that bearing in mind what the back of it said and as I had my hand in my pocket whilst chatting to my mate whether I was having a crafty wank. I admired her balls in approaching and we got chatting to her friends who then wanted to head downstairs. The girl who'd made the approach was happy to stay but her friends did the normal girl thing of hanging around and saying ' ok we're heading downstairs now' & 'ok we are going to take the drink downstairs with us'. I don't know if they thought we would bash her over the head and bundle her out to a waiting car but either way she disappeared downstairs.
Mate and I continued chatting for another half an hour or so before heading down. It sounds like we were playing hard to get, which we weren't. It's just that downstairs is pretty much the dancefloor and my friend needs a bit more drink in him before he'll consider dancing. Unlike myself who will dance sober. The girls were nowhere to be seen and a trip to the toilet later found them chatting with a bunch of guys. We weren't necessarily disappointed. They looked nice and friendly and it would have been fun to spend the evening in the club with them but c'est la vie. My friend got ignored at the bar for an age which really pissed him off and caused him to miss "why do you fill me up buttercup" which is normally his subliminal trigger to attack the dance floor regardless of state of inebriation. His theory is that he was too good looking to get served and that the staff ignored him out of envy. Although light hearted it does have some merit I think.
We headed back upstairs for the final twenty minutes and took a seat next to one of the four who had originally chatted to us. Her feet were hurting and my mate relayed his theory to her on his lack of service. Her friends came back upstairs and the girl who had originally approached me came over and perched on the arm of the chair with her arm around me. I was quite surprised that they'd all come back upstairs without men in tow. We had a brief chat, she kissed me on both cheeks and disappeared with her friends to get her cab. Drove past the tea hut and was up for a pit stop but the queue was madness and thus we passed, which was a shame. Ok we didn't 'score' per se but it was great to receive the confidence boost that someone would come over to say hi. When you see it happen and how gracious we were in chatting back it foolishly makes you think 'yeah everyone is like this, maybe it isn't so hard for me to chat to women in a bar'. I know that in all likelihood I would be cut dead if I tried it.
Glorious lay in, felt like it had been an age since having one. Had a damn good session in the gym with was helped immeasurably by having those 'state of trance's' on my nano. Decided against doing the rowing as it was this exercise that I feared was causing the post gym knee ache. Great to get down to the trance though and a couple of times I had to discreetly punch out a finger in time with the beat when a breakdown reached an exploding crescendo. Headed out with a friend that night to a new bar we'd discovered. The female quotient was high and there were some nice looking girls although a lot of them knew they were good looking. I continued to survey the scene and felt quite relaxed in my pink linen shirt with that feel good, post gym vibe. I spotted two very nice girls who sat down very close to us. They were both similarly dressed in jeans and black tops, tall, slim, brunette and one was a clear winner for me with the requisite curves. She seemed incapable of smiling mind you and was certainly giving out miserable and 'fuck off' vibes.
Mate went to the bar and as on the previous night took an eternity to be served. He came back frustrated again and I endeavoured to lighten his mood by recounting the joy I'd had when cleaning the office toilet on Friday night including having to wipe round the seat and sweep away the pubic hair and arse crumbs that seemed to collect by the hinge of the seat. This had him practically pissing himself with laughter and it's amazing how from being invisible to everyone, now that we were creating independent humour people started to notice. I saw that the misery had been to the bar and also took ages to be served. She returned to her mate and I noticed a smile crack across her face, which was nice. She knew I was looking and buoyed by the confidence of the girls talking to us the previous evening felt like I could make a move and instigate a conversation. It would have been risky as they were sitting down and giving off cold vibes but I thought my mates theory would have some weight with her. Needless to say I never have a problem getting served! My mate said that he could see in my eyes that I was surprisingly ready to make a move and as I went through the final contemplation process, two women to our left suddenly started talking to us. We naturally responded and after ten minutes the two girls sitting down got up and moved off. Whether in a huff I don't know but I didn't see them again that night which was frustrating as I really fancied one of them.
We seemed to partner off and the one I was talking to certainly seemed more intelligent, interesting and nicer. There was no physical attraction and I'm sure the feeling was mutual but it was nice to talk about her travelling experiences. The other one was a lot shallower and self centred and kept attempting to close her gaping top (she wasn't blessed so I wasn't that excited) as a way of garnering further attention. It's funny but the fact they had approached us and I wasn't head over heels attracted meant I wasn't trying hard to impress and thus could be a little more piss takey, which they seemed to lap up. It sounds arrogant but I think they were surprised by our indifference. They were debating whether to go downstairs and I think were waiting for us to decide for them. I was relaxed and would have been happy if they had headed downstairs so I could use the confidence they'd given me to go and source out the two miseries. Whether they would have thought I was being a 'player' I don't know but hopefully with their grandstand seats they would have seen that it was the two women that made the first move on us.
They ummed and ahhed a little more and then invited us back to theirs. I was really surprised. Maybe it's the confidence of the older woman but I almost wanted to say 'are you sure, you don't know us from Adam yet you want to let us into your home'. We walked back to the car and then drove to the woman I'd been talking to house. We chatted over a cup of tea and some nibbles and the shallower one, who was desperate to hold court, wanted to head home. She did make me laugh when she talked about pole dancing and how she'd had classes. She'd start doing a little and then stop. I almost wanted to say ' I'm enjoying the company but really please don't assume that just because I'm a bloke that I'm attracted to you or are gagging for it'. I ran her home along with my mate, which again was surprising that she was so trusting and then dropped my mate off.
Sunday was very lazy. Washing, tidying up etc. Watched a DVD of the 2002 superbike championship. This was one of the best ever that raged between Troy Bayliss and Colin Edwards and actually went down to the very last race. Incredible racing. Watched the World Cup final that night with my bro which was a little disappointing. I had wanted Italy to win, which they did, but they didn't play in the same way they had against Germany and it was a slow paced and very defensive game from Italy. Zinedine Zidane did a crazy headbutt which certainly added some drama and resulted in him being sent off. Had difficulty sleeping because of the mugginess but found my mind returning to the blog that I'd read on Friday. It had reminded me of those feelings of love etc and I gave thought to how much I would like to experience them again soon.
We're going home, we're going home - 03/07/2006
A fairly uneventful week really. Nothing or nobody noteworthy in my Monday night swim session. Tuesday night was good fun. It was the lost double bill night, plus France vs Spain and the first Tuesday of my brothers new job so I thought we'd do something special. How better to celebrate than a large meat feast pizza with extra pepperoni and mushroom. Nice. The football was good and France, although I'm loathed to say it, performed very well to beat a talented Spanish side. France impressed by playing good passing football and even till the final minute and one goal up still keeping possession of the ball in the middle of the field.
Lost was also good. Great to see some further character development of Mr Echo, who remains one of my favourite characters. The second episode also made me favour Jack a lot more. After being given the run around by Kate it then showed him getting the shaft from his wife. What a bitch. She had pushed him to marry her even when he wasn't fully convinced. She knew he was a brilliant surgeon who was married to his job yet she still wanted to marry him. He turned down a booty call, came home to his wife, admitted to it to then be told she was leaving him AND had been sleeping with someone else. Maybe my more cynical attitude towards women made me identify with him even more and then when his position was comprimised in his standoff by Kate following him, I was right behind him. My brother and I almost cheered when he returned to the camp bowed but not defeated and asked Anna Lisa's help to build an army. Ok they might not have many bad arses to turn into an army but it was just the idea that Jack wasn't going to be made to crawl away like that and wanted some kind of revenge.
Managed to get an hour of swimming on Saturday morning before collecting my bro and a couple of his mates to head up to the pub to watch the footie. We occupied the same place that we did the previous sunday, ordered some chips and J20's and waited for the game to start. The female quotient didn't seem as high as the previous time though being a saturday maybe more were shopping. About two minutes before kick off I looked outside and saw this amazing looking girl waiting for a bus. She was with a friend and had long brunette hair, almost an eastern european face, slim figure and a great chest. She did look amazing and despite the importance of the coming game I found it hard to stop looking. I debated whether I had time to go out and hand her a card. I even took one out in preparation but then thought No I'll make myself look an idiot and she'll probably throw it away. It's ridiculous really, I've got the cards for these very situations when time or opportunity is limited and you can only hit and run but chasing a bit of skirt when England were about to kick off almost felt traitorous.
The game started and needless to say we played poorly. Portugal where missing their key play maker yet Sven's ever changing team formations hindered our team of potential stars and we dithered around the pitch. The only man to really shine was Owen Hargreaves, who just did not stop running and was the only English player who actually scored a penalty. Beckham hobbled off injured, Rooney stupidly lost his temper and was sent off and we were down to 10 men. We battled on valiantly as only England can do but it went to penalties, which everyone watching knew in their heart of hearts that we could never win and we lost. Portugal actually missed two of their penalties yet still we couldn't beat them.
I half blame our players who have become so self important, appeased and egotistical that they've forgotten the art of laying it on the line for their country and I'm sure just look at the World Cup as a nice overseas jolly with their partners rather than a chance to create a welcome jolt of national pride into the country. The other blame goes to the useless manager. He has no passion, can't instill any in his team, seemed to have no idea what formations to play, can't think tactically and made some poor team selections, particularly taking Walcott who was obviously never going to be played. Considering that he's paid five times more than Scolari and twenty times more than Guus Hiddink (former manager of Australia and South Korea) I think he should hold his head in shame for the piss poor performance he delivered for his crazy salary.
From the chanting, raucous atmosphere in the pub that started the game it was very subdued by the end. In a way it was good to see others sharing the same feelings of disappointment. I wasn't as gutted as some of the other times that we've lost because on those occasions we played really well and would have deserved to progress. On this occasion we didn't but it still stung. Consolation was found in the arms of a pizza hut mega deal and watching a getting better France take apart Brazil. I will be supporting Germany for the remainder of the World Cup. I like their strength and resolve in coming back from 1-0 down against Argentina, their expertise in taking penalties (which the Argentinian game went to) and the passion and exuberance that Klinsmann displays when his team score.
Sunday was another day spent down at the friends I had gone to two weeks previously. Like then it was a belter of a day and my brother and I got down there at about midday. It was great to be at out in the sunshine with a purpose and somewhere to go to. The two girls were ready so in the solid sunshine we went for a quick tumble on the trampoline which the kid in me still loves. My mate turned up a little later and we got dolled up in our paintball paraphanalia. One could have questioned the wisdom of putting all those layers on in 30c temperatures but better that than being struck by a paintball on exposed skin. We bought some paint since the last time, plus some battle backs (extra paintball carriers) and some kneepads for me. I was keen to try these out as they would offer support and allow me to crawl through the woods without fear of kneeling on a twig or stone. They were excellent and helped improve my performance I think, well worth the purchase. We had a few games in the woods and despite the heat once my body had come to terms that it was going to sweat it seemed to self regulate my temperature very nicely. Unfortunately in the first game I shot the host who then said 'I'm shot'. I couldn't quite hear him and as he then fired again (he had a problem with his gun) but I thought he was still firing at me and I lit him up again.
Took a break for some bacon and sausage rolls, which were gratefully received along with a water and coke. We pretty much played through the afternoon and evening including a game where we transported this plastic Wendy house out into the middle of a field and then attacked it while the two inside defended it. Went on the quads again and my brother did some clay pigeon shooting as well. For the final game me and another took our turn in the Wendy house. It was hilarious, chaotic madness with the paintball strikes echoing round the plastic walls as we took cover. The madness was only increased when the host jumped on the quad with another sitting behind him and decided to drive out to the house (which we'd now nicknamed little house on the prairie). We were standing on the outside thinking he was just driving out to save walking but as his passenger began to rain paint in on full auto, three of us tried to scramble back into this tiny plastic wendy house. It was all I could do to stop laughing as I tried to shoot back. The host's wife, as before, laid out a spread of pizza and salad and continued to amaze and humble us with her generous hospitality. It was a lovely mild evening and it was great to relax with some nice food feeling like we'd really done something with the day. Drove home and as it was hot and even though I was knackered, managed to virtually get no sleep despite having the fans on full pelt and sleeping for two hours on the living room floor. Hot weather is great for the day and seeing a mind boggling assortment of scantily clad women that can drive you mad but attempting to sleep in the evening becomes a real chore.