Weekly-ish musings. I know these are long winded but I don't get a chance to write daily entries so just dump everything down that I've done and what I was thinking during that week.
The end of another year
And so another year comes to an end and I have to say that it's been a good one. I've been very poor towards the end of the year with regards to my journal entries and I think they may be coming to an end. I've given them a two year run which should give any interested readers (hello, anyone, are you there?) the chance to see what my week to week life is like. I always looked at the site as being like a big profile of me. A chance for people to find out a little more about me if they wanted to or just read the ramblings of a madman. I don't know I might come back to the journal in a few months but I just found myself falling farther and farther behind.
To briefly summarise the year I've had a good time. One close friend got a golden dog and another got a black stallion. My brother and I got to go to Florida. I went to Salzburg. I got to spend two really nice days heading down to Somerset to get Biscuit. I got to take to the stage at The Islington Academy and be an Air rock star. I won Player of the Day at Paintball. I started to wear brown shoes and drink latte. I got to see the best film of the year (Transformers) twice at the cinema and own it on DVD by the end of the year. I got to play three awesome games on the 360 including seeing the wonderful culmination of a trilogy that has carried me across two generations of consoles. There were two girls that blew my mind but slipped through my fingers. I got done for speeding and my brother exploded a chunder bomb in the back of my car. We rediscovered the Venue and I discovered a cracking new DJ (Manuel le Saux). I went to my first ever fan convention (star wars) and stepped up my home entertainment kit with a Samsung 32" LCD. I got some new internet friends, managed just to hold on to my few existing ones and showed my cousins a couple of good nights out.
Compared to so many other years I don't think I can grumble. I hope yours was good and that 2008 is even better for you.
Yes, I'm still here. I've just been woeful.
Needless to tell that I've been a little lax in keeping up with my entries. I've have just renewed my site for another year so it will be gracing the internet for at least another twelve months to spread my gospel and shine a light for the world!
Apologies for my lack of entries. As I've told some of you it's been hard to motivate myself recently. I seem to keep putting off the Florida trip report even though I do want to get it all down. I've been working through the wealth of photos to title and compress their size ready for upload. In the meantime I have managed to get some videos of the holiday loaded up to Youtube including my personal favourite.
We both celebrated our birthdays while in the US and P arranged for a cake to be delivered to our room one day. We filmed eating it to capture the moment for her and then thought lets do a review of the hotel room in a MTV Cribs style. Hence my brother went to work and created a masterpiece. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cre6gF5NsJw
If you look around you can see other videos that I've posted that might possibly be entertaining.
So what else whilst I've been off. Well the company went to Salzburg which I have managed to write about and have posted a report in the holidays section for you to savour. In other news I had a DHL lorry try to push into my lane whilst driving into work. I kinda lost it with him and dropped the 'c' bomb at him for being so blind and stupid. The lorry took off my wing mirror which I had to get repaired the next day. It cost me £130 to do it and I thought I'd never see the money, despite swapping details with him. Low and behold though and with a little pushing his insurance company sent me a cheque to cover the full cost.
It was interesting when I went to the Ford garage with it. There was a pretty, confident blonde who organised the mechanics in the garage part. She had an impressive cleavage which was quite openly on display and being that she sat down at the desk while customers stood up it was hard, especially for me, to not lose my eyes down there. She said she could pull one of the mechanics off to fit my mirror if I could get the part from the parts department (doing this myself would apparently save some money). She couldn't do anything until the mechanics returned from their lunch and there was this moment when I felt I could have quite easily taken her out for a lunchtime drink.
It was like the moment was there but I didn't believe that it was being presented so easily. I'm not saying anything bad about her but as I'd have to wait it seemed the natural thing to do. As it was they unfortunately didn't have the mirror, the chance sailed on by and we agreed that I would come back the next day when it would come in. The next day came and she looked even better. Showing less cleavage but looking a lot classier. I even told her so. When it was done I thanked her and got in my car. She then came over to lean on the passenger window and check it was all done right. She seemed such a confident, sassy character that even though part of my head was saying she might be interested the other was saying that she couldn't possibly be.
I fumbled for a website card which I handed her and mumbled something incomprehensible. I wasn't smitten with her but there was an element of attraction and I wouldn't have minded talking to her for a couple of hours. She clearly had the mechanics in the palm of her hand with her ballsy demeanour and low cut tops and I thought she'd be the kind to find my differences from those grease monkeys as indication that I was weird. I didn't feel we had a great deal in common and hence thought that if she did look on the site and see something funny that we could open dialogue through that channel as opposed to face to face, which is never my strong side.
My continued interst in all things Halo 3 led me to find some videos that the director down to film the Halo movie had made prior to the games release. I thought they would be cheap and crap but they were surprisingly well made and mucho impressive. There is real promise in the short films and it makes the fact that it isn't now going to happen even more disappointing.
Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3M1nl1ncQM
Talking of games, a lot have been released in these last four weeks and reading the reviews and deciding which ones to buy has taken up a fair chunk of my time. Call of Duty 4 got some stellar reviews which led me to getting it. Initially I thought it a little too much like you were watching the movie of the game rather than controlling it but as I've got used to it I have to say that it is pretty damn incredible. I also bought Mass Effect which had similar stunning reviews but I won't probably look at until Chrismas.
Saw 30 days of night at the pictures which was good. It had a little too much shakey cam and the ending was too much like Blade II but it was entertaining and featured one of the best scenes I've seen in a film this year. There is a moment when the vampires attack the town and the camera does this slow moving aerial slide over the town and you catch moments of individual struggle, red blood decorating the contrasting white snow and townsfolk being attacked. Very impressive. The same cannot be said for Rescue Dawn which despite starring Christian Bale was shit from start to end. Slow moving, action and story free and pretensious film making from the director. Even Bale's acting was questionable.
The release of I am Legend is getting closer and thankfully it will now be released in the UK on Boxing Day which is great. I'm not trying to build it up but I am looking forward to seeing this a lot. My lethargy in writing has also extended to my gym attendance which I must resolve soon especially as I seem to be eating more.
On new things that I'm doing, I at last embraced the notion of wearing brown shoes when I was in Florida and I like them but only with the right clothing. In Salzburg I had my first latte and enjoyed it meaning I can now actually get something proper from Starbucks rather than dismissing everyone as scarf wearing, chin stroking, coffee swilling liberals!
I've even started using the shower in the mornings instead of running a bath as I always did. This has cut down on my morning preparation time by about 15 minutes. I know this seems a no-brainer but I've always been untrusting of showers over baths instead of a bona fide cubicle because the water manages to go everywhere but on yourself.
Not a full round up I'm afraid but at least it's something. Hoping to see the Hatton - Mayweather fight on Sky this weekend so good luck to Ricky.
A fair chunk of blood, snot and killing - 29/10/07
Managed to pick up a cold which has proved very entertaining, particularly when eating. I'd forgotten the joy of trying to eat when you can't breathe through your nose. Makes you realise how lucky Kevin Costner was in Waterworld with the gills behind his ears. I'm sure he wouldn't be trying to eat and draw breath at the same time if and when he had a cold. Add to that and it seems my snot (sorry to be disgusting) seems to set like quick dry concrete in my nose meaning that when I come to blow my nose it's like doing so with a kilo of shingle up there.
The final I am Legend trailer was released during the week. I did question whether I should watch it but as it won't be released here until after Christmas I'm sure the memory of some of the scenes will have faded. You can see it at firstshowing.net and I think it looks really good. As you know I love the idea of the loneliness and fending for yourself. I also particularly like the bonding with the dog. Most adults like dogs yet it seems that in films, the makers only ever like to get kids to bond with the animals which never has the same resonance because lets face it they'd bond with a blanket. Anyway the film looks hugely promising and I'm looking forward to it.
With the approach of Halloween IGN, a game site that I hit on a daily basis to see what's going down, had a feature on violent games. Number two in its list of gruesome action was the execution scenes from Manhunt. I've never played the game or seen it running but I have to say that the scenes were great. You can see them here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGuhX5AmjuA
I'm sure you'll think that I'm dark and a little twisted in finding these entertaining but it's the noises and movement in how they are created that makes them shocking but compelling to watch. Besides which I think this video will be a handy place to go next time I am fuelled up with rage and want to kill someone as I'm sure this with calm my bloodlust!
Ran my brother over to Bluey on Friday night so he could go out with his mates and on the way back I hit the video store with about two minutes to spare. Managed to grab Vacancy and The Passion of the Christ. I watched Vacancy that night after some fish n chips and thought it an excellent film. It was a short film of just under 80 minutes but what it was, was filled with tension, horror and excitement. Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale did very well with their material and as they didn't succumb to the normal stupid antics of those in peril I got behind their characters as opposed to wanting to see them slaughtered manhunt style.
I watched The Passion of the Christ on Saturday morning and enjoyed it, if that is the right word. It certainly isn't your conventional film as it has no real twists or intrigue and is just two hours of Jesus getting the shit kicked out of him. I'd always been curious about the film and my intrigue further fuelled by the excellent soundtrack that I bought in
My brother called not long after it had finished to see what I was up to. He decided to come up and we would play some co-operative Halo 3 on Legendary (hardest skill setting). I was happy to give the game another go and after a quick dash out to stock up on some provisions we set it up so he could play in the living room on his 360 and me in the bedroom. It was good playing it co-op and we got a good chunk of levels under our belt when we eventually stopped for dinner. Despite the previous weekends disappointment I found myself really getting back into it and looking forward to picking up the controller whenever we had a short break.
On our provision dash we'd also picked up Hostel II which we watched on Sunday morning. It wasn't bad and continued pretty much straight on from the first one. It explained a little more about the mechanic in how the murder factory in
Dropped the DVD off and got stuck right back in Halo 3 where we continued to blast through the game. I'm not saying we are both gifted but we were certainly kicking arse and taking names. Some of the set pieces were truly fantastic. The moments when you have to take out the scarabs (giant enemy tanks) is fantastic but best of all had to be the little hornets. These are like these little hover planes that you can control and lay down some wicked fire with. The smoke contrails from the missiles as you dogfight with covenant planes and then pummel the shit out of ground forces is just so awesomely cool. None of the reviews or friends mentioned their inclusion in the game so they were a cracking surprise. There is another scene where you battle hard to a particular point and are then rewarded with three tanks. Heading into battle with three tanks and a couple of warthogs is such a wicked feeling. It just makes you feel that you are part of a much bigger battle, especially when this little convoy of yours comes across two scarabs (covenant tanks) and you can either keep pounding away with the tanks or jump on these little hornets to be air lifted onto the actual scarab, SAS style, to bring it down from within. Cracking, cracking stuff and everything that I ever hoped Halo 3 would be. We hit the final couple of levels and powered onto the finish.
The last level involves you blowing the reactor on the halo ring and having to make a quick dash on a warthog to your waiting ship. Naturally I'd already done this the previous weekend so as we were playing co-operatively I let my brother drive (as this was the first time he'd got to this point). This meant that my character could sit on the back and have a 360 view at the destruction wrought on Halo as it slowly blew to pieces whilst brother steered the jeep round the fire-balling wreckage to the safety of the ship. Being able to look at the graphics without having to drive was a weird experience but it really allowed me to see the craft and skill that had gone into it's making. We completed the game and then watched the credits through. I knew there was a sequence after the credits but had deliberately switched off from the previous weekend. Hence I knew that they supposedly killed off Masterchief but didn't know how. Well the scene after the credits made a lot of sense and tied in brilliantly with the beginning of the first. "Wake me, when you need me" what a line! From being cheesed off last weekend I was now delighted and humbled with what I'd played. The trilogy had been closed fittingly and I went into sponge mode wanting to see and read as much of the special features about the game as I could, despite how late it was. For the following week I found myself referring back to the game and catching up on additional info pieces.
Thanks for stopping by.
Hollow Halo - 22/10/07
Man it's beginning to get colder over here. I know that sounds like a kid but maybe I was cosseted a little too much in the glorious
The LCD turned up on the same day and I became obsessed with how to correctly set it up. Should I stick with the component lead that came with the X360 and simply switch it over to the HDTV settings or go and get a VGA lead and calibrate the picture to its sharpest settings. Very nerdy eh?
My brother was going to be off work and as he enjoys tinkering, unlike myself, I was going to ask him to set it up so that come the weekend I could just sit down and play it. That makes it sound like I was being lazy but I was worried that with the fiddler that I am once I started tweaking the settings, colours, brightness, backlighting, gamma intensity……… that I would just never stop. I'm bad enough when trying to get the audio just right on the TV in the living room and that's only really got four settings with three settings within each one. The AV forums (http://www.avforums.com/) were incredibly useful with people printing up what they thought were the very best settings to enter into your TV along with an image that you could use to calibrate the LCD TV to the very highest setting.
For those in the know, and after a few postings on the forums, I decided to go for a VGA lead which would mean that my TV would display the very best picture that it possibly could. Frustratingly this meant that my brother needed to take my X360 online to download the latest Microsoft update that helped with the VGA settings. Meanwhile I belted over to Bluey to pick up the relevant lead and also the bits for the pasta. Combine the two events I thought.
We got it running and I have to say that it looked pretty impressive. I didn't want to run Halo 3 on it yet but Gears of War looked good and the DVD of Terminator 3, especially the scene at the beginning with the hunters flying and the robots moving around was utterly stunning.
Did very little else during the week. I certainly can't be arsed to head back to the gym yet though of course I am going away again in a few weeks time. Seemed to spend my time unnecessarily mooching round the internet looking at trailers, game previews etc.
As I said last week there are quite a few games coming out in November that look very interesting and demand to be played on a HD TV. I did begin to think that maybe I'd made a mistake buying a 32" and should have gone for a 37". Hey, I'm a bloke and thus I'm going to have a pre-occupation with size. The TV is still impressive but it's the thought that if I'd paid another £100 or so it would have been even bigger. It's fine for gaming but when you are running 300 or Transformers through it the extra size could make it even more incredible. As P pointed out and stopped my bemoaning in its tracks, I could use the extra £100 I'd saved on buying some of the aforementioned games instead of feeling guilty that I was spunking my money away when I should be saving for a place. Very good point.
Talking of Transformers, the film score, as opposed to the selection of unrelated pop & rock tunes cobbled together in the official soundtrack, was released in the
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHJT0Fec_Yc The really wicked bit is at about 2.30 in.
Friday night came and after pissing around on the web I headed home. I got in late but in typical fashion started to get excited about Halo 3 the next day. Hence at like 12.00pm I started dusting, polishing, tidying and moving stuff around to ensure that the TV was in the right place, speakers were set up correctly and that nothing would distract me. I even got the limited edition helmet out and placed it on the side next to the TV. My attire for the days gaming was laid out. Underwear, long sleeved ribbed white t-shirt, my orange Nasa flight suit and my Nasa baseball cap. Oh yes. By the time I eventually turned in it must have been about 2.30 - 3.00!
Up at around 8.30, which is unheard of considering I wasn't actually going out. Prepped some morning scram (bacon sandwich), jumped in the bath and slid into my flight suit. Three years had built to this. Fired up the 360, the TV and the Yamaha amp. The distinctive Gregorian chant swept over me and it was game time. I didn't look around too much on the main screen as you don't want to look too much behind the curtain when getting ready to start a game. I wanted to put it in, hit play and be amazed.
Started the game and the opening seemed a little abrupt. There wasn't the lead in that I expected and Masterchief was somewhere that I didn't remember leaving him at the end of the second game but there again I hadn't read the latest book so they may have moved him. Never mind, I started playing the game and it looked pretty cool. The graphics looked great though I was unsure whether this was down to the TV or the game. The sound effects were also good though I thought the score was a little disappointing. I didn't hear a great deal of new music. I broke for some lunch when I completed that level which certainly took longer that what I knew brother had done it in. I felt like I was doing well and shooting a fair chunks of bad guys but maybe I hadn't got my eye in and thus was moving slower than estimated.
We were heading out that night to see the Rugby World Cup but I had time for a few more hours of gameplay. This level was also enjoyable though I was surprised when they killed off a fairly major character and then you had a 'driving to get away from a ticking bomb' style scenario. I completed this level and then…………….well the credits came up. Initially I thought I'd got some corrupt disc that had jumped to the end whilst loading up the next level. What had actually happened though was that where my mate had borrowed my X360 whilst I was on holiday and had played Halo 3, his progress, though on a lower skill level, had been saved and without realising it I'd somehow managed to select to play the second to last level.
How this happened I'm unsure because I didn't mess around with too much stuff when I started the game but I basically had just played the last two levels of the game and completed it. I was gutted and just stared at the screen. You wait three years for something to come along and then manage to effectively read the last two chapters. All of the energy and excitement just kinda left me. I watched the beginning of the first level to ensure I wasn't being a fool. Granted the game is good fun and the enjoyment comes from playing it but there is something about doing it through again when I know the last two levels. It really couldn't have turned out any worse could it? Feeling a tad dejected I folded up my Nasa flight suit and got ready to go out.
Picked up my brother from work and then onto M's to head into Blackheath to try and watch the
Headed back to Cave where we discovered they also had no
Sound or not it was an exciting game, though we conceded too many penalties which allowed
We came out in the second half and nearly got a try right off the get go but it was judged out. An incredibly close call and it would have made for an even more exciting game had it been given. It wasn't and the South Africans managed to extend their lead. They eventually won the game which was disappointing but I was still delighted that we had beaten the Aussies and then the French in their own backyard.
Stayed there for a few more drinks before waving goodbye to our two friends who'd come out that night. We then headed off to the Venue. It was good to be back in there but there wasn't anything going down with regards to the ladies. Had a good little boogie but the KFC at the end of the night was far more memorable.
Sunday was a lazy day (as ever) and as my heart wasn't in picking up Halo 3 again I decided to check out a film that P had lent me. It was The Holiday and I confess I'd been fairly dismissive of it when it had come out. I'm not a big fan of Jude Law. I'll concede he's good looking but he is a little cocky with it. Anyway this film also stars Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz as two women from either side of the
Ended the weekend by going to see The Kingdom. I wore the Marino football shirt that I'd bought in
A great smell and a scent of victory - 15/10/07
Ordered a couple of DVD's this week. 300, which comes as no surprise bearing how much I liked it and docu film called The Bridge. I saw the trailer for this on Apple about a year ago and knew I wanted to see it. It's about people that go to the Golden Gate bridge to commit suicide. Granted it might seem a little morbid but the music in the trailer was very melodic and the subject matter very thought provoking. What makes someone go all the way there to commit suicide. It never got released at the pictures but I'd like to see it. We are having a postal strike at the moment (lazy, whinging bastard postmen) so god knows when either of them will arrive.
Although I didn't seem to advance much further, well nothing basically, on my trip report (writers block from the amount I guess) I did get some more stuff down on trip advisor. I'd put one question on the forum about what shows affected you emotionally and No 1 on my list was one of the shows from SeaWorld called Blue Horizon. It really was something special and I copied my thoughts to SeaWorld just so the people involved could receive my praise. Amazingly they responded a few days later with a non generic email thanking me for my comments and making reference to some of the things I'd said (ie it wasn't their bog standard response). It made me like them even more. From the posting someone on TR contacted me and I told her all about SeaWorld and Universal's Islands of Adventure. From this (though I'm not taking complete credit) she decided to hit these very places based on my detailed reviews of them. Hope she likes them.
I also wrote a report on my day at Kennedy Space Centre in response to a question that someone else had posted. This review went down really well and helped act as a bit of a spur for me to get on with the long report.
I also ordered my Samsung 32" LCD television. I've been meaning to get one for some time and as I had a little money left in the holiday coffers thought I would treat myself. My existing TV is an ok size but the widescreen is ever so slightly on the wonk and I can't correct it. Also being CRT it takes up a lot of space and hence the flatter LCD will help. I'm primarily getting it for gaming which many might think sad but what the hell. There are some good games coming out in November and I think it's time for me to start playing them in HD. Despite my wariness of the quality of Halo 3 I am still looking forward to playing it and what better way than on a glorious new LCD. I went away this Saturday as you will read and thus want it in time for the following weekend when the days of Saturday and Sunday will be turned over to Halo 3.
Talking of Halo 3 I have been guilty of looking at / skimming a few more online reviews, almost to prepare myself for what I'm expecting it will turn out to be. I found this one that even though slates it is incredibly funny.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2304-Zero-Punctuation-Halo-3
His delivery is very fast (hence the zero punctuation title) but his reviews are well considered and very entertaining. His arguments and opinions seem very similar to my own and the examples and illustrations that he uses are also familiar to me. Admitting to this may complete my journey and acceptance of full blooded geekness but you can't live in denial forever. Check out some of his other reviews, particularly his overview of the next generation console market and of Tomb Raider: Anniversary.
Headed up to my Aunt's in Reading on Saturday for a surprise 50th birthday party. It was good fun. I'm not terribly social at the beginning of these events but I helped where I could and kept myself entertained in the kitchen. Decided to wear my new and ultra exclusive fragrance, Colonia Assoluta by Acqua di Parma. P had got a sample of it and then by coincidence read about in a book. We did some research and it used to be a fragrance worn by movie stars such as David Niven and Cary Grant in the 50's but with the emergence of new aftershaves etc in the 60's and 70's faded away. The company was revived by a trio of Italian businessman, one being the head of Ferrari, in the mid 1990's and is doing well I believe. The smell is just lovely, the packaging simple, classy and very well designed and it's exclusivity is maintained by it being unable to buy in High Street chemists. I'm not being a snob but it's nice to have something, no matter how small that not a great deal of people have got.
After the England Rugby teams stunning upset of beating Australia in the Rugby World Cup Quarter Finals, I was adamant that I was going to watch the semi final which was on whilst at the party. I hadn't watched us beat Australia because after being hammered 36-0 by the South Africans in the first round I assumed, like many others, that we would be humiliated. Far from it. We stuffed it to those arrogant Aussies and went through to face the French in Paris. Like I was going to miss this. It was a great match. Full of drama and tension. We got an early try but France clawed it back through drop goals etc to lead 6-5 for what seemed like an age. We were playing stoically and taking the fight right to them. The scores went up to 9-8 but the French were still in the lead. Where I had started off watching the game alone in the kitchen by the end there were at least eight or nine people in there with me.
I couldn't help contain myself and emotion was bubbling over whether in the form of hopping up and down or hurling encouragement & obscenities at the TV. At one point the French made a break and would have got away and scored a try were it not for an English player who at full stretch clipped the French guys heel so it clattered into the other one and he came tumbling down. With about ten minutes to go we got a penalty which Jonny Wilkinson put home depsite having initially been given a non match ball to use (something dodgy there methinks). This took us into the lead 11-9 but it was still anyones game. Then with about five minutes to go Jonny went for a drop goal which put us 14-9 up and sent our little kitchen into wild cheers. We hung on for a few more minutes, the whistle blew and we'd done it. Beaten the French, who were the hosts, in their own back yard and were on our way to the Final where we found out the next day we would play our chums, South Africa. With the self belief and the bravery that the team have re-found I think next Saturday could be a hell of a game and I intend to enjoy it in the fervent atmosphere of a pub.
It was great that some of us had shared the exhilaration of us winning and I was pleased that it had bonded us in some way. I chatted to a few more people and eventually went to the bed that had been made for me at about 1.00am. I slept like a dream and was woken at 11.00 with a five minute noitce of breakfast being served. Managed to take a shower, brush my teeth and get changed in that time to join everyone else for a fine cooked breakfast. Headed home later that day and hooked up with my brother for a pizza, Top Gear and a chance to discuss our respective weeks.
Thanks for stopping by.
Back to reality - 08/10/07
Back from hols and back into the office with all the food goodies that I'd picked up from my travels with most of those coming from Walmart. There was Hershey bars, Oreo's, Chips Ahoy cookies, freeze dried fruit and ice cream from Kennedy, fried pork skins, smoked cheddar cheese kettlecorns from Universal, assortment of M&M's and some beef teriyaka smoked steak bites.
Gave the pressies to those that I'd got for and bored everyone with my tales of the holiday. Talking to others about it made it seem that we'd achieved even more. In some ways things seemed different, like I had changed or maybe become a little more worldly wise, yet in other ways the normality was crushingly depressing.
Discovered with alarm that my friend had completed Halo 3 with relative ease on the normal level. I read a review on IGN that said on normal it could be completed in 6-7 hours. That sucks man. Wait all this time and that's all you get. Also the graphics haven't really improved even though it's a new generation console. Now I haven't played it and it's another few weeks until I do but what's the point in taking three years to release it if it doesn't look like you've spent three years doing it. It would appear that from skimming other reviews that the single player campaign is ok but it's the multiplayer that bails them out. It's a shame I think that gaming companies are so obsessed with turning out games with poor single player experiences but a multiplayer that is basically Unreal Tournament with more bells and whistles. Creatively, it couldn't be weaker. Provide the tools and let the players write their own stories.
The TV advert and accompanying website have gone some way to restore faith and a little excitement but I don't know, the disappointment bandwagon is in town. Roll on Call of Duty 4, Mass Effect and maybe a look again at Bioshock I say. I tried to order a Samsung 32" LCD from Amazon. I kept umming and aahing about it and once I'd eventually committed I'd left it too late to guarantee delivery for the Friday. Hence I cancelled the order.
Was nice to return from a long absence and discover that my site had received few visitors. I know I'd hardly gone mad with handing out cards in the US but it would have been nice to have had a little spike in interest, maybe just as a pleasant surprise. All it did was re-inforce that nothing really changes. We celebrated my birthday on the Friday meaning we had a lovely chocolate cake for elevensies and I opened my pressie which was this wicked Timberland leather wallet. My friend thought that it was about time I had a wallet that didn't open with the sound of tearing velcro. Lunch was a Pizza Hut pizza which was mighty fine and in a reasonably relaxed afternoon I showed the troops my holiday photos and videos. I did want to load one that my brother did of our hotel room in a rapper, mtv style but at 161mb it's too big for Youtube. I'll see if there is anyway I can compress it to be able to get it up.
Stayed late that night. Wrote some responses on tripadvisor but couldn't be motivated to start the trip report yet. Stayed in bed for some time on saturday as I struggled for motivation. There was a shit load of stuff to put away, mounds of washing and crap to sort out and I was feeling a little drained. I don't think from tiredness but more from how the idea of Florida had been with me for the last seven months yet now it was gone. Granted I'd done it and had the memories but I think it was just not having it there in the back of my mind if that makes any sense.
On a positive note I continued to enjoy all of the CD's that I bought while in the US. It's amazing that all of them would be so good. Normally one or two are poor but I liked them all. As I'm sure you are dying to know the five CD's were. Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Mans Chest (Zimmer delivering the quality goods), The Passion of the Christ (only one track about a year ago but it always stuck with me and is an excellent CD), 300 (inspirational), Armin van Burren : A state of trance 2007 (great selection of tunes, particularly on the second CD) and finally the music from the Blue Horizons show at SeaWorld (This was by far my favourite show in Florida and one that I found quite moving. The music had a similar effect on me when I played it).
Started sorting out stuff and attempting to be brutal in clearing out unused items. By the Sunday afternoon I'd managed to fill 4 black bin bags full of pointless tat. Watched Lewis Hamilton crash out of the Chinese Grand Prix which in an exciting turn of events means the championship will go down to the final race to decide it. Hit the local shops very quickly to get the ingredients for a spag bol. I wore one of my baseball hats and didn't want to talk to anyone. I don't feel very sociable at the moment and I don't know why.
The new series of Top gear was entertaining as ever to accompany our spag. They always look like they have a fun time and their taking of a supercar each to Europe to find the best road is so what I want to do if I was ever to win the lottery. How people can talk about being bored when they win so much money is beyond me. Having seen the fun my brother and I had abroad we could do that for a good few years.
Talk soon and thanks for checking back.
Service temporarily disrupted.
This would be quite a clever strapline if the disruption wasn't already so evident in the fact that I'm two weeks behind in my entries. Not a great deal happened to be fair apart from smacking my head in a wall resulting in a bruised eye that sailed dangerously close to impacting on my Florida face. I managed to get below (maybe by 0.1 of a lb) 13 stone which I was pleased with, though I didn't managed to achieve the adonis like figure hewn from stone that I was aiming for.
I'm going to be in Florida from 14th Sept to 1st October and then it will still probably be an age before I get back to posting up the journals. This is primarily because I want to concentrate on writing up the trip report while it's still fresh in my mind.
Even if the holiday is pants, which I hope it won't be, I want a memory of it for the future and just like with Vegas, a trip report is a nice keepsake. That and of course 7,000 photographs.
I had printed out some cards to hand out if we come across anyone interesting whilst over there but with having only handed out practically 10 in the last two years, I will more than likely come back home with them all.
| Orlando 2007 daily planner | |||
| Morning | Afternoon | Evening | |
| Fri 14th | Flight - BA2037 | Recon / shopping / mini golf | Hooters & Boardwalk |
| Sat 15th | Magic Kingdom | Magic Kingdom Spectromagic 20:00 Disney wishes 21:00 | Pleasure Island |
| Sun 16th | Blizzard Beach | Blizzard Beach | Hoop dee doo revue |
| Mon 17th | Animal Kingdom | Animal Kingdom | Bubba Gump & Citywalk Karaoke starts 20:45 |
| Tue 18th | Epcot | Epcot Illuminations 21:00 | Uno's |
| Wed 19th | Typhoon Lagoon | Typhoon Lagoon | D. Parton Dixie Stampede |
| Thu 20th | Disney MGM studios | Disney MGM studios Fantasmic 20:00 | 50's Prime time Pleasure Island |
| Fri 21st | Kennedy Space centre | Kennedy Space centre Astronaut lunch |
Pleasure Island |
| Sat 22nd | Rest morning | Boggy Creek Airboat 45 min private tour. Just turn up | Latitudes & Antigua |
| Sun 23rd | Busch Gardens | Busch Gardens | Zambia smokehouse and onto Tampa |
| Mon 24th | Clearwater beach | Sea Screamer | Tampa Bay Lightning St Petes Arena 19.30 |
| Tue 25th | Tampa or rest day | Tampa or rest day | Howl at the Moon |
| Wed 26th | SeaWorld | SeaWorld | Shark Encounter grill |
| Thu 27th | Discovery Cove | Discovery Cove | Medieval Times 19:00 |
| Fri 28th | Universal Studios | Universal Studios | Margaretaville & Citywalk |
| Sat 29th | Universal IOA | Universal IOA | B-line Diner & Citywalk |
| Sun 30th | Universal again? | Shopping / mini golf | Outback Steakhouse |
| Mon 1st | ? | Airport | Flight - BA2036 |
| Tue 2nd | Arrive in the UK | ||
I don't know how this table will turn or how the formatting will look but for those interested this is our plan of attack. To be fair most of my regular readers have already been bored, sorry presented with this but new readers might be interested to see where I am and what I'm doing.
Take care everyone.
A quiet weekend becomes a busy one - 03/09/07
Started the new week, ok Tuesday, by at last ordering a new mobile phone. I must have had my current Samsung D500 since I started at where I work now. It's served me well and I could never be bothered to upgrade it as I was always waiting for something that I really, really liked to come out. The Up cursor key had ceased working a good few months ago but the phone still performed all it's other functions. The approaching holiday was a good catalyst for getting a new, better looking. It would please M & P as they'd been riding my arse for not getting a new one.
The Samsung served me well and I always remember the free MP3 tune that came on it as I used to continually play it whilst I would do the washing up or tea making in the old office. The little kitchen area was through a few doors and hence would be very quiet without anything playing. The tune became synonymous with my first few weeks here as I became accustomed to a totally different way of working and being treated.
Anyway I decided to upgrade to the MotoKRZR K1 black which is the first flip phone I've ever had. It looks quite cool and I'll look forward to it arriving. The t-shirts that I ordered last week for the two of us to wear on the day we fly to Orlando arrived and looked great. Of course one can't be sure of the weather in the UK when we go so I can't be sure if I'll have to wear a jumper but I hope not. We've decided that we will take the train up to London Bridge and then take another down to Gatwick. It will be a pain lugging the suitcases around but no more hassle than sitting in traffic on the M25, the cost of parking or the begging for someone to give us a lift. Besides having done the commuter thing for enough years it will be nice to sit on the train with all the other people going to their jobs safe in the knowledge that I'm heading off somewhere far more exciting.
Started work on compiling three playlists for America. The hire car might have an MP3 jack if it is the very latest model of the type that was mentioned on the tickets. If not I'm going to burn three disks. Pop, rock and soundtracks. I'm going to have to be tough, and hopefully maintain the quality, by limiting them to just 78 minutes. After much deliberation of which track to get went for a tune from the third Pirates of the Caribbean film to include on the soundtracks playlist. I've only seen the first in the trilogy but I like the music and it is an iconic Disney ride so it needs to be on there. As does the brilliant Armageddon theme for when we drive to Kennedy.
Pushed hard in the gym on Wednesday and when I weighed myself had dipped just below the 13 stone mark. I realise that it won't give a completely fair representation of my weight when I've probably sweated off so much perspiration but at least the previous times I've weighed myself have been at the same time.
I contemplated hitting the gym again on Thursday but decided to do a little further internet research in an attempt to claw back the week long backlog that I've got on my journal. I was also looking for a cow print/patterned (I really like cows) suitcase for the holiday. I've got a suitcase but my brother needs one and if I could find a cow print one I'd have it and give him mine. I did see one in Matalan about a year ago but naturally didn't need it at the time. I couldn't find anything online. Well nothing reasonably priced that is. I did however stumble on a blog called http://www.foreveramber.co.uk/ . I like the writing style of the author. She's honest, self deprecating and can't stand Little Britain which is a huge plus.
Spent a good few hours chatting online with Kentucky Girl, which was great. What with her and me being busy at different times we've managed to pass other and it was nice to be reminded that humour levels are still there.
Friday was still busy at work though more for the company than me directly. Went out that evening on an impromptu whim as a friends of M's was going to be out. It meant that M drove for a change and my brother and I could drink. We had a relaxed timetable meaning that we didn't get to the bar until around 10:30 so it wasn't going to be a massive session. Still we bumped into female cousins on my step dads side who I hadn't seen for sometime which was good. It was nice to hook up with them and remind them what a great guy I am.
At one point I was dancing with them on the dance floor and these two full of themselves girls seemed to be doing everything they could to get my attention. Pussycats Dolls style dancing and accidental-deliberate brushing. I noticed them but I didn't pay them any attention. I wasn't being arrogant but I had noticed them earlier and I could have been invisible to them at that point. Now though, I think because I was dancing with some other women, they were desperate to get my attention. It was clear that they weren't interested in me but rather the challenge on trying to get me to appreciate them whilst I was with other women.
Walked two of my cousins home, whilst M kindly drove the other one home. As most women are, they seem shocked and surprised at our chivalry but if girls 'hang' with us for a night we like to ensure they get home safely. It also allowed my brother and I to 'tab' the three miles back home which is only beneficial for fitness levels for the holiday.
Saturday was the norm of a big lie in followed by a big gym session. I'd ummed and ahhed about going out that night as I wanted to save some money for the holiday but you can't keep a middle aged single man in on a Saturday night can you? Started off in Blackheath and M and brother started hitting the beers. Moved onto the Venue which had a great proportion of women to men. As we went up on the main floor I saw a girl as soon as I walked in and knew immediately that I fancied her.
We started dancing near her gang whilst she and her friends seemed to fend off the attentions of an assortment of guys. Later she was dancing and although we had not exchanged any eye contact she was dancing very close to me. She wasn't blatantly rubbing up against me and looked a little too classy to do something like that but she was brushing against me. It's so hard to know whether it's deliberate or that the confines of the dancefloor just led to the coincidence of her proximity. Her and friends moved away and these two girls who had on respective black and white short and top outfits came over. They could certainly dance and the girl in black was truly stunning. If anything though she was almost too good looking that I couldn't think of her romantically.
She was so clearly capable of pulling and/or receiving the attention of anyone in the club yet she was over dancing in our vicinity and making eye contact. I don't think she was interested in any of us so I was bemused why she over here. At one point I thought maybe they were just fishing for a drink but when M offered to buy them one they requested water. They left about 30 minutes later and were even polite enough to say goodbye as they were going home. Strange.
The alcohol was hitting the boys hard now and I could see it getting to my brother. The girl that I'd seen early was trying to find her friends at one point and I pointed them out to her, for which she threw her arm around my neck and kissed me on the cheek with a thanks. Again was this because she was interested or just an affectionate friendly person. I saw her 15 minutes later on the dance floor and she gave me a beamer of a smile and a high five. Time was short by now as I could see my brother was very hammered. It's so difficult to talk in these clubs but I approached the girl and said
"I'm not very good at approaches but you are the loveliest thing I have seen all night"
She smiled and then went for another high five. It wasn't quite the approach I was expecting and made me uncertain as to whether she had actually heard me. Oh well. I should have given her a card as I had them with me but I wanted the chance to explain that I wasn't being arrogant with them but just wanted her to see a little more about me. Shame, she was very pretty. We had to evac and swung by KFC for our usual pitstop. Unfortunately the guys were so blasted by this point that they only managed a few mouthfuls. Well actually M had a few crispy strips yet my brother still managed to consume a zinger burger.
I left M's and genuinely thought I might get another chunder explosion in the car on the way home from my brother. This time a plastic bag was to hand but it wasn't need and he managed to sleep most of the way home. Bluewater on Sunday for more t-shirts and shorts for the holiday. Cooked a wicked tuna pasta and then went and saw the film Death Sentence with Kevin Bacon. It was ok but still not quite the passionate revenge film that I want to see. If these films could just provide a character that when he has a crack at his sons killers actually wants to kill them and take pleasure in avenging his loss.
I'm not meaning to come across as a psycho but if someone killed my brother and I had the chance to exact my revenge I would make sure they knew how painful the loss was and how they were going to pay for what they had done.
Apologies once again for the delay in posting. Prepping for the holiday has thrown me completely off hasn't it? Talk soon.
Final pieces to one and opening foray to another - 28/08/07
A quiet start to the week though at least I got myself down to the swimming pool, which for me is no mean feat. Over the weekend I'd read an article in the paper about a video that was doing the rounds on Youtube called "
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM
It's an amazing video. This herd of
There is then a tug of war as the lions try to pull the calf up onto dry land and away from the croc. Eventually the croc lets go and slips back into the water. The lions turn their attention back onto the calf but are then surprised to see that the buffalo have rallied themselves and now angrily circle the pride. One of the buffalos steams in and literally throws this lion way into the air as a couple of others come in to retrieve the calf. With each lion that they annoy, the buffaloes chase after them to ensure that they have been driven away. You are then finally left with this one lion, who amazingly still thinks it can take the buffalos on singlehandedly. Even this one is eventually chased away and the calf manages to, albeit shakily, rejoin its group.
It's one of the most amazing vidoes I've seen. I know that buffaloes are big and tough but the idea of them plucking up the collective courage to 'front up' to the lions is pretty cool in my book.
On Tuesday M & P mentioned about how they were thinking of ideas for our Christmas trip. I knew the time was coming around but wouldn't have been as presumptious to assume that we would be treated again. Becoming complacent about their continued generosity isn't something that I want to happen to myself.
P gave me a loose list of places that she had been thinking of and gave me free reign to have a gander round for places that might be worth us checking out. It's like being a kid in a sweet shop. We wanted something of a similar price to our
To be honest I don't know how we got there but P and I ended up looking at
I discovered a hotel that was about 12km outside the city. Initially I thought it was too far out and M & P wouldn't entertain the idea of somewhere that either needed a hire car or plenty of taxi's to get to but they seemed to like the idea and the notion of getting a car from Avis wasn't a stumbling block. Here is a link to the site and I think you'll agree it looks pretty cool. It's positioning on the lake looks fabulous and the views from one of the main restaurants looks spectacular.
http://www.starwoodhotels.com/luxury/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=1366
There seems to be plenty of things to do in the surrounding areas; gorges, ice caves and salt mines. Hitlers Eagles Nest is nearby and the area is considered
Wednesday was spent, as well as working naturally, adding the final pieces to the
The very first ones that it displayed were in exactly the place that KG had suggested but unfortunately I needed to check on how I was going to collect the tickets as well as get my account details to hand. The system only gave me two minutes to secure the tickets before it generated another set. These new ones were on the other side of the rink and not where I wanted. I then started a campaign of repeatedly logging on in the hope that it would 'cycle through' and offer up the tickets it had at the very start.
It didn't want to play ball and I became increasingly frustrated, worried that I'd blown my chance for decent seats and in the end it just stopped allowing me access. Whether the whole site had come down I doubt but it refused to let me go on until the afternoon of the following day. I even phoned up St Pete's Forum, where the hockey is taking place, but they couldn't help me. I was so pissed off and angry that I might have ruined the chance of getting perfect tickets that I couldn't bring myself to go to the gym.
What I did work on though was the t-shirts for my brother and I to wear on the day we travelled. From the money I'd already spent on spreadshirt they had provided me with some vouchers which I used to create some final t-shirts. They looked quite cool in light blue with Broz in Orlandoz on the front and the numbers 1 and 2 in an American college fashion on the back of the respective t-shirts.
Thursday came and after some more
Made sure to hit the gym that night for a particularly hard and sweaty session. I don't normally go on a Thursday, and if I do it's normally to the pool, so this made a change. When I got off the bike all wobbly legged with a sweat darkened t-shirt I noticed this cute little honey with her mate on the cyclic machines. She had a lovely curvy figure and a short blond hair, which just emphasised her curves even more. I looked over a couple of times and when I looked out of the window I think I caught her looking over. I got the impression, or at least my mind occupied itself with psycho-analysing her whilst I worked out, that it was her friend who normally got all the attention.
She got off with her friend about 10 minutes later (I mean dismounted from the machine rather than engaged in a little 'hot action) and went round to the mat areas. I finished my session as normal and deliberately didn't rush it to prevent missing them. When I walked round they were both lying down with their feet towards the window and their heads and cleavages pointing into the room. I'm not a perv but it was a nice view and I defy any man to admit that he wouldn't have quickly glanced at the same sight.
I flopped down onto a mat and started doing some crunches. I had the nano on and my eyes closed. I'm not going to look over I told myself. Just carry on doing what you are doing and concentrate on your reps. I must have hit somewhere in the mid 20's when I shot an impulsive glance over. Just at that moment she had her head craned right back and looked at me. I looked away sheepishly, cheeks flushing and feeling like a 12 year old that had been caught gawping. You could say that she must have been looking at me but maybe that was in fear from the gym pervert. Oh well, maybe I'll see her in there another time.
After a bad lunch on Friday and much internet research I booked the accommodation for the two days we are in
Saturday was the normal long lay in followed by a punishing gym session. There was a woman in the sauna who started rubbing herself down which I thought a little vulgar. There's nothing wrong with rubbing your face or an aching limb but basically exfoliating in the sauna is out of order in my book.
Coming home I felt fine until I exploded into an uncharacteristic moment of road rage. I approached this mini roundabout at the same time as another car did from the left hand exit. As you know you have to give way to the right, so I had the right of way. Anyway this guy left his braking ridiculously late and overshot where he was meant to stop. This also forced me to slow as I wasn't sure if he was going to carry on. As I slowly drove past him I shot him a long look. He then had the audacity to flip me the bird.
I exploded with rage. He was in the wrong and driving like an idiot yet he gives me the finger! I hit the brakes just over the roundabout and glared back at him. He also pulled to a stop just over the roundabout. That was it. I lost it. The handbrake came up, the door was flung open and I was steaming out of the car at a rate of knots.
"What the fuck is your problem?"
I must have looked a sight with my wet hair, arctic combats and headphones swinging around my neck as I marched towards his car. He gesticulated the wanking motion at me and started to pull away. This only added petrol to my anger and I started chasing his car down the road screaming at him to
"Get out of the car then you coward"
He clearly shat himself as he sped away and I turned to storm back to my car. Nobody said anything to me and all other traffic seemed to have miraculously taken other routes. I was shaking a little but more at the outrage. This guy was in the wrong yet he felt he could fight fire with fire rather than simply admitting he'd made a mistake. It's amazing how a simple acknowledgement that you've made an error can defuse someones anger and I've certainly apologised when I've done something wrong. This guy assumed though that he could go around acting like a prick. Lord knows how many people he has intimidated with that approach but not with me and not today.
I can't abide bullies and although I'm not a fighter and could well have been battered senseless, though a quick glance had sized up that I could take this guy, something inside me snapped that I wasn't going to take this guys bullshit. I'm not a violent yob nor do I profess to be tough but his attitude incensed me and it demanded a confrontation. Whether this will be my last entry because I've pulled the same shit on a complete nutter I don't know but on this occasion I had to do something.
We were uncertain how many people would be out over the bank holiday weekend going on previous occasions but still decided to give it go. We might as well not have bothered. Our usual haunt was virtually empty and once you feel the rot of 'this is going to be a crap night' set in, it's hard to reverse the trend. We stopped in at a friends for a cup of tea on the way to dropping M off. Managed to take a gander a book called '1001 natural wonders to see before you die'. A pretentious title but it did mention some places in
The Turkish F1 grand prix was on Sunday but it was a little boring despite a puncture from Lewis Hamilton which dropped him to a fifth place finish, which makes the championship even tighter. After this brother and I headed up to Bluey to get some holiday bits. I ordered the light blue Nike Air Rifts that I've been dithering about for the past few weeks aswell as getting some shorts and t-shirts. I know everyone has said that I can get Nike's in the
Hired out Wild Hogs and Alphadog on DVD that night. The first one was genuinely funny and although far from earth shattering was more entertaining than we thought it might be. The second film was just poor. Stupid, white rich kids playing gangsters. I know it was supposed to be based on a true story but these punks looked about 12 and already seemed to be living the party, flash car lifestyle due to their rich and disinterested parents, so why they needed to be gangsters is beyond me. Justin Timberlake was in it and he was ok but the real star was this guy (Ben Foster) who played the older brother of this kid who was abducted and murdered. He just loses it down the phone at this rival gang leader and it was an awesome spectacle. He reminds me of a younger, more talented Sean Penn. Go about six minutes into this clip and you'll see what I mean. The lip synching is off a little which is a shame but I think his power still comes across.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yLLhB8cYKA&mode=related&search=
Annoyingly this was this last characters scene in the film as after this they completely forgot about him. Other characters in the film were just annoying, including the abducted kid who decides to stay with his abducteees because 'he didn't want to make things difficult for his brother'. I'm sure it was meant to come across as an eye opening warning but in reality was nothing more than a piece of pretentious wank.
Bank Holiday Monday involved a little more shopping locally and then a trip to the swimming pool. I wasn't sure how busy the pool might be but there are few better things than walking out to a virtually deserted pool. I managed to nail out 102 lengths without stopping or putting my feet down. It was knackering and took me just over an hour but I felt good. Followed this with a trip to Bluey to catch a film and something to eat. Such was our contempt for Toasties that we decided to try TGI's. The burger was better but the chef was still a stingy chip giver. They also laid underneath the food this greaseproof branded sheet of paper. It might make it pleasing to the eye but when you've given me a knife and fork and a selection of sauces have a guess what might happen to that paper base when a little sauce is added and I need to cut up my food.
Followed this with The Bourne Ultimatum. It suffered from a ridiculous amount of shaky cam which is still incredibly frustrating but my eyes thankfully managed to adapt to it quickly. I found the film really entertaining. Practically every scene involved a healthy dollop of tension and some clever work. I know the guys didn't rate it but I felt it certainly delivered and going on first impressions was probably my favourite of the three.
Take care.
Laying on a spread and tasting the Olympic dream - 20/08/07
Monday saw me still working on the hooded fingerer entry. Christ it was taking some time but this was only because I wanted to get everything down and my evenings were filled with other things. Completing the trip report for Orlando might take some serious time. But I don't regret doing them as I want to be able to look back in a couple of years and read them full of the mood and thoughts that I had at the time.
The t-shirts that I'd ordered from Spreadshirt last Thursday arrived and all looked really cool. You've got to hand it to German efficiency in how quickly they manage to turn them around. I also ordered the dog tags today. I was desperately trying to come up with something different to put on them. My brother had come up with the line Broz in Orlandoz but it was just too long to go on the tags. Kentucky Girl, god bless her, came up with the idea of using the airport short code for Orlando (MCO - McCarran Orlando) which was brilliant and inspired. Hence with P's creative input the tags will read
BROZ IN MCOZ
FLORIDA 2007
EIGHTEEN DAYZ
CFT INN, LBV
and then our names.
What I like about the MCO bit is that it's quite subtle, bar being on a deliberately eye catching, jangly dog tag, and is more likely to be understood by Americans than Brits. Went without the swim again so I could get the entry finished and then email it to people that I know and the organisers of the Air Guitar event.
As I knew I would be out on Wednesday night, I instead hit the gym on the Tuesday night. Everything seemed to work against me time wise meaning that I ended up getting changed in the office to save time and upon pulling up in the gym carpark realised that I didn't have the earphones for my nano. I knew I wouldn't be able to manage over 90 minutes of working out without music so had to zip home to get them. This meant basically that I wouldn't be able to get changed after the work out as the gym would be closing.
I'm usually quite fussy that I've got to have a shower after a session but I just didn't have the time on this occasion. Had a great workout and changed my t-shirt when I got back to the car as well as laying down a towel for the seat. Maybe I should have headed home but I needed to get the ingredients for the following evenings feast otherwise I might not have time. Managed to spend nearly two hours wandering aimlessly around the Tescos. I had my music playing on my nano and I just seemed to dawdle in every aisle as my mind decided what things I did and didn't need to buy.
It had started off that I would just make the spag bol but I decided to get some pizzas and garlic bread along with dessert. I then turned my attention to what I should eat that night myself. God it was just too much!
Anyway Wednesday came and I left work earlier than normal to collect my brother before blasting over to my cousins. We operate best without distractions so while the girls sat round the table in the kitchen we did our best to concentrate on working on the bolognaise sauce. I took my wok and we cooked up a kilo of mince! The sauce was very close to the edge of the wok but careful stirring and supervision by my brother helped prevent any disasters. There was some minute perfect co-ordination needed towards the end as we tried to get the pasta added to the sauce at the same time as the pizzas and the garlic bread reached completion.
The girls helped with laying the main table and there was a huge dollop of pride for my brother and I as we placed down two large pans of lumache bolognaise, two pizzas, garlic baguette, garlic ciabetta and garlic doughballs. There is just something really good about having worked in the kitchen and then feeding all those that gather round at the table. Whether it's just the feeling of providing for others I don't know but it was cool to watch them all tuck into everything. It was a real shame that my aunt, who was ill upstairs in bed couldn't enjoy some. She always puts on a great spread at Christmas for the whole family and it would have been nice for us to go some way to repaying the favour.
It was the first time I'd had the garlic doughballs and what a revelation. No more having to worry about the garlic butter dribbling out of the cuts in the garlic baguette as it cooked through. With these babies, it's all nicely contained within and the first bite then provides the perfect 'scoop' to ensure you can get a good dollop of sour cream and chive.
We all had a nice chat round the table including making some real good banter with my uncle. Although he's always very interesting to talk to he sometimes can be quite quiet, though this might be because he tires of my boisterous banter. Either way it was a lovely night and made the two of us feel good for seeing off both my cousin and her/our Canadian friend before their flights the next day with a taste of paradise. For the two friends that remained (one of whom was another cousin) it was good for them to at last taste the wonder of the dish that I always prattle on about.
Another busy day on Thursday and I managed to get in another session at the swimming pool that night. It didn't feel that satisfying though and I think I could have put a bit more into it. Thus when I came out I parked up the car and went for another long walk. I'd downloaded the actual mix that Manuel le Saux had played the previous Friday and it's brilliance kept me entertained for the duration of the walk.
After indulging in a bad lunch on the Friday I eventually got the emails out to the various people that I know. Maybe I was being vain but I thought the organisers of the Air Guitar and the Hoxton Creeper might be interested to read my take on the whole event. I also wanted to let my regulars know that for once there was something interesting on my journal that might be worth checking out. I got home that night to discover that the holiday tickets had arrived. It re-focused the holiday in my mind after the last couple of Hooded Fingerer weeks and was an almost unnerving reminder that the thing I'd booked all those months ago was going to be an actual reality.
Up early on Saturday as M had asked me whether I could follow him to the garage for him to drop off his car as it needed some minor tweaks done to it. We set off around 9.30 ish as we were going to have to cut through London. It was cool following behind and seeing the reaction of others to his car. Whether it was motorists being willing to let him in or more inclined to attempt to race him. At one point we drove along the embankment near Chelsea and there was this jogger running alongside the river. M happened to put his foot down and I loved the way this jogger just put out his finger in a show of acknowledgment.
His finger was horizontal, so he wasn't flipping him the bird, but it was more just a sign of his appreciation. Well that's how I read it. We dropped the car off and M treated me to an Olympic breakfast from the Little Chef that was in a nearby service station. He is a champion of the Little Chef chain wherever he can and always talks favourably about the famous Olympic breakfast. I used to have Little Chefs when we'd stop at them on the endless drives I had to go on with my mum and step dad. On those occasions I'd always have the chicken platter (two breaded chicken breasts) along with the obligatory pancakes and ice cream for dessert. Hence the Olympic had passed me by.
I was a little sceptical if I'm honest, especially when I spied the deserted kitchen when we walked into the place. In my mind I imagined a plate full of items that had been going cold on a long since warm hotplate. Man, how wrong was I. The plate turned up with a host of freshly cooked wonderment sitting atop it.
Two rashers of crisp back bacon, British outdoor reared pork sausage, two griddled eggs, whole cup mushrooms, crispy sauté potatoes, fresh griddled tomato, Heinz baked beans and toasted or fried extra thick bloomer bread. Served with a mug of tea.
Bliss. There is a time and a place for healthy eating and this wasn't one of them. Dropped M back off and then headed straight to the gym for a big old burn up to sweat my earlier indiscretions off. Headed into Blackheath that night, which was ok. Our usual haunt seemed to have a higher concentration of blokes that normal and the GTA pissed me off as well. I'd gone upstairs for a wizz and had to wait as usual for the one cubicle. A bloke tried to push in front, to which I had to remind him that I was waiting for it. When I got in the cubicle I couldn't then piss but not wanting to give this point away attempted to flush the toilet.
Somebody had managed to snap off the flush handler so I tried to depress the flush using the stub of a bolt sticking out of the side of the cistern. It didn't work. When I left the cubicle I waved the GTA off as I can't abide being hassled just for someone handing me a paper towel. As I walked away he started to say something. It appeared that he wanted me to put the seat down of all things. By this time I was getting a little cross. I went back into the cubicle, slammed the lid down and then threw the broken flush handle that was sitting next to the toilet into the sink he was hovering over so that it clattered round it like a roulette ball waiting to drop into a pocket.
'Do something about the fuckin toilet and I might take a little more care over it' I snarled at him.
From here we moved onto the Venue to see if the female ratio would be noticeably different when we were unaccompanied by women. We weren't sure if it would be busy as Blackheath had been a little quiet but you can always rely on the Venue. We found ourselves upstairs dancing and singing to the same old tunes. There was a gaggle of three girls who seemed to be being pestered by this Phil Collins look alike who was trying too damn hard. I even joked with them about him yet they didn't seem to have the courage to tell him to clear off.
We mooched around a little more until I spied this absolute corker on the other side of the dancefloor. I immediately dragged the guys over so we could dance in her vicinity. It looked like she was out with her sister and mother! She looked like a young Kim Cattrall and truly rocked my world. She might have been a little young but her body matched her face in it's attraction to me. Before the music could move into a section that was a bit more indulgent and offered more chances to make yourself be noticed she headed off. I wasn't sure whether she was leaving or going downstairs but bearing in mind that it was close to 2.45 I thought it likely that they were leaving. I'm not confident that I could have caught her eye or that she would have been remotely interested but it would have been nice to have been able to look at her for a little bit longer. Finished the night with the obligatory KFC and a drive home battling heavy eyes.
Sunday was the Czech MotoGP. Casey Stoner dominated the race which was great for his championship but a little tedious in the entertainment stakes. Brother and I headed over to Lakeside shopping centre. At first it was good to be back over where one needed to go when I was younger if I needed to do some major shopping but one soon felt the chav factor creeping back in. They'd spent some money doing it up but it will never be a Bluewater. The shops felt crappier and without sounding a snob the other shoppers seemed more lower in class. I won't be returning for some time.
Spent the rest of the evening trying Guitar Heroes II which my hairdresser had lent me along with Oblivion. Guitar Heroes, where you use the plastic guitar, was fun but tricky and I much preferred Oblivion. I'd heard numerous people talk about how great, deep and big it was and my small taster certainly gave that impression. It's very much like Fable and even the level of customisation on your own character before you actually start is amazing. Take care.
Crystal clouds helps the come down - 13/08/07
Monday was the beginning of another busy week. P was off so I was pretty much managing our main client alone. To be fair that is my job and although a little stressy at some points it kept me occupied most of the week. M brought in his camera which allowed us to download the images and videos that he'd taken of the Air Guitar event. It was great to be able to see the performances from a crowds perspective and hear the audience's response and cheers when I performed my act.
I could hear the way my friends shouted their encouragement and how they laughed after I was done. It made me feel kinda special that I'd managed to entertain and give them so much fun, even for that short space of time. Watching it again did make it obvious that from a technical point of view my left hand was all over the place but that from an entertainment point of view it looked like a good show. I thought I'd mumbled something when I was on stage but apparently not. I must have been trying to stay in character. Disappointingly I managed to miss going to the pool again that night, which is shocking I know.
I set up my own Youtube account the next day and loaded the two videos up onto it. There were two others that showed me being told I was going through to the second round along with five others and of the final stage invasion but I didn't think they were good enough. It was amazing that I could put them up so easily. I was now an internet star. Ok, that's going a little far but it was certainly exciting to know that I was up on the web in some videos. By this point I confess I had been scouring the net to see if there were any mentions of me and/or the championships. A guy that had approached me in the crowd to show me the video he'd filmed kindly loaded his version up onto Youtube and then emailed me to let me know. He titled it "AirGuitar Hero: The people's choice for UK champ." What a lovely thing to say!
Watched a hilarious piss take of the Bourne Ultimatum on Wednesday. It was put together in America for a piece on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show. The fact that I've seen the proper Bourne trailer so many times now helps but it really reveals what a damn good sport Matt Damon is. Check it out:
http://www.firstshowing.net/2007/08/05/jimmy-kimmel-lives-guillermo-in-the-bourne-ultimatum
Headed over to my Aunt's that night along with my brother to see my cousins again, enjoy some nosebag and show them my videos. It was only upon getting there that she decided to tell me it was her birthday. She was content with a kiss on the forehead and an offer for my brother and I to cook our famous spag bol for them next Wednesday. I played centre stage as usual and got introduced to one of my male cousins new girlfriends. She was a lovely girl from Southend and we got chatting about clubbing etc. She seemed to know all the clubs and people down in that neck of the woods, which was fantastic. When I'd wanted to take my brother down to Southend a few months back finding information on the website about the area was frustratingly hard. Yes there was a smattering of info but nothing decent and first hand.
This girl was awesome though. You could drop in a request for younger women or older music and she knew exactly the club to go to and what time to be there. In the end I even got her to write out a list of what places to hit starting at 7.00 until the final bar/club that went on until 4.00am. What a font of knowledge and one that was so connected. We talked about all going out down in Southend which certainly had myself and my brother pumped up for a good night.
Tried on Thursday to finish off the journal entry for the week before the Air Guitar. Unfortunately I seemed to keep getting distracted by my burgeoning ego and endless desire to see how many views my Hooded Fingerer videos were getting!
Friday was much the same with the busy-ness continuing right through to the end of the week. M and a senior designer went off to a potentially major new client to present some items that we'd been working on for them. It seemed to go very well and fingers crossed that it gets us more work. It was also P's birthday. She didn't want to make a big fuss, which was one of the reasons she was off, but we couriered over to her a card, some flowers (pink tulips - her fave) and two canvases that we'd had done of Biscuit.
Stayed late as I'd been meaning to put a few more hours into the Orlando organising. Small things that had been niggling away at the back of my mind such as ordering my t-shirts from spreadshirt, sorting out and tidying up the day planner, asking questions about Tampa accommodation on TripAdvisor and sorting out the dog tags. We've still got a month to go but my mind has been off the holiday recently and when it is you worry that it will be on top of you before you know it.
Made a start on the entry for the Air Guitar week and, as you already know, it was turning into a biggy. Was listening to some awesome trance on iTunes radio from the 1-FM station. It directed me to a website called Crystalclouds.com which was a trance site that was celebrating it's 4th birthday. To celebrate this they had a weekend of back to back DJs. The DJ playing when I tuned in was called Manuel le Saux and he was truly fantastic. The mixing was good but his choice of tunes were fresh, pumping and uplifting and I loved it. I listened to some of the following sets late into the night and they were great as well. Discovering it reminded me of when I discovered Armin and his ASOT for the first time. Such was the quality that I had to download some his mixes onto my nano for the weekend.
Saturday morning and I was up early again to get the car over to the garage. With this being my second to last pay cheque before Orlando I could really have done without the unexpected £330 bill to change all four brake pads, brake fluid and buy some new wipers. Got it in there for just after 8.00am, donned my headphones and headed off to my local town. Had a damn good walk and enjoyed the music on my iPod. Put some more greens into our holiday spending money fund as well as shifting some stuff around to allow me to get some premium bonds. A friend had suggested them as they seemed to pay up regularly and I couldn't do any worse than the miserly amount of interest I was getting from the building society. Besides, you never know I might actually win big!
Must have done at least a four mile round walk by the time I got back to the garage. Struggled to put the new windscreen wipers on as in an act of brilliant design Ford had decided on one wiper to have it so that the Ford emblem was facing into the driver, yet on the other one it was facing out. Naturally your brain, well at least mine, assumes that they would both face inwards to be a constant reminder to the driver. This tested the patience and actually broke it of my short temper when faced with seemingly easy but frustratingly difficult tasks.
Headed home to put on some washing, grab a quick nap before shooting down to the gym for a really good session. I was quite pleased with myself for doing the morning walk and then hitting the gym in the afternoon. We'd planned on a quiet weekend as the previous ones had been so hectic, enjoyable and a little money draining. M swung by in his spectacular new car and both my brother and I went out with him separately for a quick spin. It's certainly a real head turner and it's funny to watch other peoples reactions to it. Some seem eager and fascinated to look at it whereas others do everything they can to pretend that they haven't seen it. It reminds me of the times I'd wear the 'spangly' shirt. You arrive somewhere and notice people beginning to turn round to look even though they hadn't clocked you but just knew that they needed to turn round. M wasn't flashy or arrogant with it and was/is happy to chat to people about it in garages etc.
I'm glad he's got it. I know that he has always wanted one and it adds to the year of the three of us (Me, M & P) getting what we really want. P - Biscuit, M - his car and Me - a trip to Orlando with my brother (oh and Halo 3 coming out and winning Player of the Day at paintball and Transformers being really good and..........). Also watched The Hills have eyes II on DVD which wasn't bad. It wasn't brilliant and tiredness made a concerted effort to take me over during the middle sector but it was exactly what we expected and was entertaining for the duration that we watched it.
Sunday was a very lazy day but one that my body really needed. It got treated to a ridiculous lay in before receiving a fair stint lounged on the sofa as I watched the latter half of the film Evolution. I'd seen it before some years back but it was good to see Orlando Jones. I like the guy, especially after he commented on the special features of Halo 2 how much he loved the game and was blown away by the trailer for the second. So many actors want to look cool and appeal to everyone that they are rare to stake their colours to the mast. In the documentary you can see that he has a passion for the game and even got to be a voice in it. I dig that.
Dug Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves out of our film library that night. I've always enjoyed this film. At the time of it's release the British media gave it the normal pasting for being a Hollywood bastardisation of our legends but I think it's a great film. I remember it as being one of the most crowd atmospheric films I have ever seen. I was working up town at the time and made the uncharacteristic decision to go and see the film on my own in Leicester Square after work one night. I'll never forget the audience clapping when Robin pulled out those wicked moves by shooting the two arrows at the two mounted soldiers, the licking of the feather on the arrow to make it spin round and the totally unexpected appearance of Sean Connery at the end. It's always the model I hold aloft in my mind when I think of seeing a film in a cinema with an up for it, yet respectful crowd.
The poster shot of him firing the flaming arrow at the hangman with the fire raging behind him still sends a shiver down my spine. It also helps that the main theme tune (I mean the orchestral one, not the Bryan Adams one, though there is nothing wrong with this) is so damn good. Finally I always remember people banging on about how Kevin Costner's ego made the director cut loads of Alan Rickman's scenes so he wasn't overshadowed by him. The version we watched had all the cuts restored and I have to say that it was not better for them being there. The cut stuff contained frankly pointless scenes about the Sheriff that didn't need to be included like how he was the son of the old witch etc.
There you go. Thanks for stopping by and until the next time.
The Hooded Fingerer - 06/08/07
First off, I must warn you that this is a big entry. It was a cracking week and I wanted to have a full record of it all.
Monday saw the start of another busy week and what felt like a bit of comedown. I'd had a great weekend but by Monday night and Tuesday I'd sunk into a bit of a huff. Having plenty of things to do helps when in a mood as it does focus your mind and stop your from drifting into aimless chatter. There was no reason for a mood. No one had pissed me off but it was as if the weekend had been such fun that I had to put some negativity back in the bank to make up for it. I didn't go swimming on the Monday, which is really poor form considering the approaching of the holiday, and although had intended to work on my journal just drifted pointlessly around the web.
I received my paper driving license and photocard back on Tuesday. I was grateful that the woman I'd spoken to had kept to her word and turned it around quicker than normal though worringly when the letter arrived one edge of it was completely ungummed. This meant that I could basically reach in from the side and without tearing or forcing the envelope remove it! In this age of continued identity fraud crimes it's amazing that something as important as a driving license could be returned in such a shitty arsed envelope. If the card hadn't been affixed to the paper copy with a paperclip I'm sure it would have fallen out anywhere and I would have found it very hard to prove that I hadn't got it.
Wednesday came and M reminded me that the 2007 UK Air Guitar Championships was on this coming Friday. It seemed about a month earlier than it had played last year but we'd had such a good time that we agreed we would go again. Mentioned it to my brother and also my mates brother. We began to chat about the idea M had had last year about how cool it would be if someone came out playing Cavatina (Theme from Deer Hunter). The website did say you could play either acoustic or electric guitar but everyone plays electric and at least half of the contestants play real hard rock. Hence the idea of coming out playing Cavatina was risky but brilliantly original. I loved the idea of doing something so fresh and we loosely chatted about it.
What we needed was to be able to play some Cavatina before then ripping into some wicked guitar. You just needed long enough to let the audience see you were doing something different, teeter on the edge of losing them and then swing them round onto your side even harder with a return to what they were expecting. We joked about how you really needed to change what you were wearing to ram home the transition even more and attempt to deliver a real show in a short space of time. We let our imaginations go and I toyed with what I could wear. Hand dyed pink vest with maybe some linen trousers. I'm sure I could find something if I wanted to.
At this stage it wasn't really serious and more just an exercise in what we could have done if we'd had more time. My brother had been working with M's brother (R) and when he popped in at the end of the day he asked if it was true I was thinking about doing it. I said that if we could sort out the tunes I'd certainly consider doing it. He was made up and said he would start thinking of the all important name and look for clothing options when he got home. I thought I'd have a look on iTunes at some tracks that might work. I had in my mind that dropping the main intro of the guitar from One Vision by Queen right after Cavatina might be pretty cool as well as being instantly recognisable.
R started texting in potential names as he drove home: The Streatham Strutter, Prince Plecktern, Satan's Minstral, Iron Madam, Maiden mayhem, Mayor of Debonair, Methuslia of Metal (v impressive), Lemmy's lingerer, The Hooded Fingerer, Derek Clapped On.....etc
I knew I wanted three tracks if it was possible to create a mix CD. First would be Cavatina, then something recognisable that would whip the crowd into a frenzy but didn't need to be a technical track and finally something that would carry them through to the end. I listened to 20 second segments of quite a few tracks. Dire Straits, Survivor, Status Quo, Bon Jovi and even Bryan Adams. In the end I got it down to 14-15 seconds of Cavatina, then either She Sells Sanctuary or One Vision and finish with one of a couple of choices. I called it a night in the office with the start times noted down to the second if we were actually able to mix a CD together. I'd had a look round the Mac's but couldn't see how to do it.
Hence the next day I came into the office still unsure of whether it was going to happen. There was a little trepidation but I didn't think we would have the software packages to be able to mix together three tracks onto a CD. If we could, which would allow the concept to fly, then I would give it a go. M sat down in the morning and had a look at it and got it working. He seemed to pick it up ridiculously quickly and after some consultation with the rest of the office we decided to go for a mix of Cavatina - She sells sanctuary - Freebird. It got burnt to disc, we tested it in my car and we were ready to go.
I popped next door to R who'd brought in some bits and pieces from home, including his 10 year old daughters red leotard. I went into the toilet and attempted to pull it on. It was tight but the lycra/nylon mix meant it stretched to cover my frame. It made for one hell of a sight. Thank god I am in such good shape! I walked back into the office, completely taking them by surprise and generating a good few laughs. It was clear that the outfit was so tight that I wouldn't be able to underwear or that if I did it would have to be a thong or something. Colleagues suggested having some pants on the outside to hide my modesty but that would take away from the impact of the outfit. It's best to fight fire with fire so we headed up to the local Aldi to get some things to stuff down the front to distract the eye and hopefully generate another laugh. I came back with a banana, a courgette and a butternut squash and after trying them all out decided on the butternut. It was the most ridiculously over the top of the three and also the closest to resembling a cock.
I filled in my online registration form and had to decide on the name. There were so many good ones to choose from and we also came up with Red Zeppelin and Jimmy Page 3 (great boob connection there) but I decided on The Hooded Fingerer. The snigger that it generates when you first hear it and it's connection with how I would look when I first came out was enough to close the deal. I would later decide that the red leotarded alter ego could be The Mayor of Debon-Air.
The entry form asked for Musical Influences - The Carpenters, Roger Whittaker, Jean Michel Jarre, John Barry, Armin van Buuren, Bon Jovi, Lynyrd Skynyrd
and a description of my style - Urban chic meets village idiot. A heady combination of confidence over talent, culminating in bestial roarness fuelled by breasts, bolognaise and rock'n'roll!
I hit send and that was it, the deed had been done. Granted I could still pull out if I got cold feet but with the effort that people had already expended I wasn't going to be quitting. Besides which I had confidence in the orginality of the concept. I called my cousin to see if she was interested in coming and it was pretty cool to be able to say.
"If you are interested we are going along to the Air Guitar Championships in the Carling Academy Islington tomorrow night. Oh and I'm entering."
Home time for the others rolled in and I began the process of practicising the moves. With the contest on Friday night I only had one night to get a semblance of a routine down. I'd brought in the hooded robe from the Yoda costume to wear whilst I did the cavatina bit. This would then be kicked off as I dropped into the The Cult (she sells sanctuary).
To be fair it was having done the dressing up in the Yoda outfit on the platform of Bank DLR that gave me the confidence to know that I could pull it off. I'm not saying that I wasn't a little nervous but knowing that you've got support in the audience in the form of friends and relatives is far better than having to get into an outfit with nothing surrounding you but staring eyes. I continued practising into the evening struggling with my keeping my arms in check as I danced around. The removing of the robe seemed to be taking some time and getting down the definable moves a little frustrating. Still, I was cram loading the night before an exam so I knew it was going to be rough and dirty.
I even typed up a quick playbook to keep myself reminded of what I was going to do.
Cavatina - Slow walk, strum. Diagonal, look left and right
She sells sanctuary - Run and jump. Strum out the tempo. Strum out the tempo low.
Freebird - High vertical guitar. Lean back, horizontal guitar. Lean further back, horizontal guitar, tongue out. Jog/Dig across stage. Spin back across stage. Move across stage firing guitar machine gun. Hop back across stage.
Even dancing around for a minute was tiring and sweat inducing and after a full dress rehearsal for P I realised that my outfit could be prone to a bit of sweat collection, especially around the lower back and nether regions. Drove home late, still playing the CD so I could get so used to it and know exactly where the changes would be. Practised a little more in the bedroom that night and kept telling myself to listen to the music, pretend I wasn't on a stage and let it give me the cues that I needed.
Friday came and everything was packed that I thought I would need. Although busy-ish the day kinda dragged. Had an unhealthy lunch and got the handover from P as she was off the following week. Applied some nail varnish to a couple of my fingernails (I like it and wished I'd done them all) and we considered some dramatic makeup but decided against it. I hadn't shaved all week and decided to shave a two inch line downwards from underneath my lip and over my chin. It gave me a rather interesting moustache/beard thing. Did a quick rehearsal for the people in the office, minus the outfit naturally, which went ok.
Through my correspondence with the organisers, I knew I needed to be at the venue for 6.00pm, hence I left the office at around 4.30 and headed up to M's. I asked him to come along with me as I didn't fancy battling my way to the location on my own and wanted the extra moral support. Got changed into the leotard with the butternut squash but it was so hot had to pace around in just that with it rolled down to the waist. This gave time for M to write Gun # 1 and Gun # 2 on my arms in permanent marker, as we thought anything else would come off. Jumped in a cab to Islington and I ran through the moves in my head again as we drove there. A little nerves were beginning to creep in. I'd had one bottle of Orange Reef at M's but this was all I intended to drink as I'd decided that I would perform sober.
We got there a little early and grabbed a quick red bull in a bar opposite where I recognised a couple of competitors from last year. We agreed that despite what I was going to be wearing right now I looked like a real chav. Shaved beard thing, orange hawaiian shirt, black Adidas track suit bottoms and chunky boots. 6.00pm came and we went round to the door and were shown upstairs. Signed a form to register, got given a number and was then asked to get changed in the toilets. Thankfully they were reasonably clean and hadn't had a chance to be blasted by a drunken crowd. Still it was certainly tight in that little toilet cubicle as I struggled to pull the leotard up and an over my shoulders, remove the boots to get off the tracksuit bottoms, put on the headscarf, re-arrange the butternut squash that was crammed down my front, apply a very healthy dose of deodorant spray and pull on the hooded robe.
I stepped out from the cubicle and a guy was washing his hands.
"Are you going in for the show" he asked
"No, just a normal night out" I replied
I returned back to M who took the rucksack containing all my crap. I didn't have any pockets on my outfit so he had to take everything for me. The woman handling the organisation and backstage running of the show asked if we could move through to get our photographs taken in the rear stairwell and then congregate in the green room upstairs before the show started. M stayed behind to greet everyone else when they arrived and I followed some others through into the back of the building. There was a nice sense of camaraderie building between us as we signed model release forms and posed for our three shots. Still, posed and action (invariably jumping).
I bumped into one of the organisers that I'd been emailing and he gave my ego a little boost by commenting how he'd been looking forward to meeting me and seeing what I came as. We moved up to the Green Room. I know in reality it wasn't the green room but rather just the VIP bar but fuck it, I'm getting into character here. I chatted with some of the other competitors but felt strangely reluctant to tell them a great deal about what I was going to perform. I wasn't being arrogant but I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone. I initially even tried to cover up my leotard so as not to spoil the reveal but realised that these people weren't the audience so I could lighten up a little.
I then spotted one of the three finalists from last year, Count Rockula. He had been great last year and had given the Hoxton Creeper a real run for his money. He was being interviewed by a camera crew but when he finished I went over, introduced myself and told him how good he was last year. He seemed quite made up that I had recognised and remembered him and we had a nice little chat. The main camera crew were interviewing other people and after I chatted to this one man band American cameraman/interviewer, they asked if they could interview me.
I heard other people talking with the camera crew about how they were entering for a laugh so when asked I gave them the truth about how we'd had a vision and a concept a year ago and just wanted our chance to try it. When asked about my chances to go to
The first round was only going to be 30 seconds long which I knew would give me a chance to show Cavatina and She sells Sanctuary but not go into any Freebird. As I said to the interviewer all I wanted was to get through to the second round and get my full 60 seconds to put across our vision. I appreciate this all sounds very melodramatic but I was at the time wearing a hooded robe, head scarf and a skin tight, bright red leotard so give me some leeway for 'living the dream'. I then saw last years
Our moment of fame beckoned and the organiser called all the first round entrants downstairs to amass behind the stairwell in the order of the numbers they'd been given. As I left the Green Room I could seen down into the main arena. My mates, brother, cousin and her mates were there but there were very few others. Jesus, the last thing I wanted was to perform my routine to an empty, atmosphere free venue. Thankfully being number 18 meant that the others could warm up the crowd and at least ensure that others had made it into the place.
As we queued I chatted to some others in the group, clutched my bunch of roses and kicked myself for getting rid of my chewing gum. As I got closer to having to go on my mouth seemed to get drier and drier. A contestant a few places infront had his CD fail to play and naturally the notion of my CD failing and me dying on stage in a ridiculous hooded robe tried to creep into the back of my mind.
I was ready to be the next up and an organiser asked whether I wanted to walk out to the music or give a signal when I wanted it to start. I opted for the latter. I'd used a couple of pieces of magic tape to hold the garment closed and with a rose in my mouth and the hood pulled down low to obscure my face I walked out on to the stage.
A million things were racing through my mind. Would I remember what to do, would I be able to spit out the rose and get the hood off in time, would it just bomb, would I fall over. I stopped, turned back to give the nod and the music started.
I knew I couldn't use my face to convey the passion of playing Cavatina so I tried to use the movement of my head and body to get it across. I could hear the crowd begin to cheer, primarily led by my contingent, as I counted down the chords to The Cult. Just as it struck I pulled the robe open with one hand whilst simultaneously pulling the hood off my head with the other. Mercifully it came off like a dream and I managed to at least get a kick out as the main tune dropped in. The lighting behind me seemed to explode into colour and the crowd just erupted as I charged into the next song. I hit my marks but before Freebird could come in the music ended.
What a rush. The crowd went mad with cheers and applause and it charged me up like nothing else. I roared back at the audience with a heartfelt 'come on' and did my best to drink more energy from them with a defiant beckoning. When I look back now and with the help of the videos I can see what I said immediately afterwards. At the time though it seemed to fly past in a daze and I think my body was trying to handle the huge surge in adrenaline that was pumping round my body. The compere started laughing and made a joke of my butternut, initially thinking it was my actual penis I believe. I gave her the rose that I'd came out with and amazingly she held onto it for at least a few more contestants.
The judges read the scores out (5.7, 5.8 and a 5.9) which I knew were good but only later was told that they were the best of the entire first round. I left the stage to more cheers and delivered my Danny Glover slap down which I know my brother would find funny. As I walked round the backstage some people clapped me on the back but it wasn't until I walked into the Green Room (I had to get it in one more time!) that I realised what other people thought. People that I'd spoken to in the queue whilst waiting to go on threw their arms around me whilst others relayed how impressive the scoring had been. Even the Hoxton Creeper came up to vigourously shake my hand and tell me how well I'd done.
I didn't quite know how to act. I knew technically that it wasn't brilliant but it was the entertainment that I had wanted to provide and if I'd given people something slightly different to enjoy then I was made up. The first round came to an end and we all trooped back downstairs to pile onto the stage and see who had progressed to the next round. I was confident that I had but I still didn't want to be cocky. The compere called on the six who were going through and it included me though the way she explained it meant that initially I wasn't quite sure. There wasn't any time to return to the green room as we queued up behind the stage to take part in the second round.
Well all I'd wanted was to have the chance to do the whole routine and I had made it through. Still the pressure was on even more to perform and try to do better. I wanted to do well but I admit I didn't want to go through to the final round as I felt the unknown track would reveal to the world that I wasn't that gifted. My act was meant to be a show and spectacle rather than technical prowess. As I still had the bunch of roses I decided to go for two this time.
I could hear some of the other acts going up and they certainly sounded good. Count Rockula went on after The Hoxton Creeper and seemed to do some of the same tunes, which I think might have worked against him. I did hear that he managed to work in a bit of James Bond which was classy. It was my turn again and I waited in the wings for my cue.
The crowds had packed in even more and I could make out some of my gang as I peeked round the corner. I switched on the diamonte LED belt that had the Mayor of Debon-Air scrolling across it, popped in the roses, sellotaped up the robe and headed out onto the stage. As the lighting guys knew the basis of my act they made more of an effort to spotlight me as I came out and played Cavatina. I think I was a little early with pulling off the hood and along with the roses bouncing over my head the cape fell to the floor where I knew my act would end up taking me to.
I got to do the Freebird bit which I think was quite good and moved across the stage as I'd intended. As I span back round I nearly stumbled over on my discarded clothing. On the video it didn't look that bad but at the time if felt like I was about to go careering into the lighting rig. I finished up strong and did all the moves that I had planned.
The crowd went mad again though I didn't feel it had gone as well as I'd hoped. The compere took over and read out my scores which weren't so good this time. Three 5.7's. The crowd began to boo the judges, which was very flattering, and she even had to try to justify the marking. I milked it a little bit and threw a rose into the audience in mock disgust before giving them the 'glover' slap and a butt slap for good measure. I knew that I wasn't going through with those scores but I was ok with that. The audience thought I should have, meaning that I had obviously entertained them, made them laugh and the concept had worked.
The film crew that had interviewed me upstairs found me behind the stage for another interview to find out my views after the second round. Rockula was there aswell and we fed off each other again to great effect. I asked the interviewer what the filming was for and he told me that when the film Air Guitar Nation was released on DVD in the UK in spring 2008, the documentary they were filming would be part of the special features. He also said that it would be about 10-15 minutes long. With the human angle story that I'd given them ie The dream, the vision, the concept coupled with my ridiculous outfit and 'chemistry' with Rockula, fingers crossed that I might make it onto the DVD.
We waited for everyone to finish their rounds before going back onto the stage to see who was going through to the final. I was glad to see that one of them was the Hoxton Creeper and I congratulated him on the stage to go all the way. We all filed off and all the second round contestants who didn't make it were now free to go back up to the Green Room (last time I swear) or leave. I elected to go into the crowd and headed through the double doors. I'd tucked my cape/cloak thing through my belt to cover my arse, which I was concerned might be a little sweaty and strode into the crowd. People started turning to congratulate me and it was truly great to see recognition in almost everyones eyes as I passed. I found my crew and threw my arms around them in a rush of excited emotion.
People pushed through the crowd to shake my hand, pat me on the back, tell me I was robbed, show me the video they had filmed or have their photo taken with me. It was truly amazing and certainly revealed how exciting being a rock star must be. I was floating on an air of confidence and happiness and was happy to talk to absolutely anyone. I stayed to watch the three finalists but what I should have done is pretend to go to the toilet and allow myself to be seen more by the crowd.
Ok, that sounds egotistical but christ this was my moment of fame. I might have been wearing a bright red leotard and a polka dot scarf but I had an opening gambit with virtually every person in the place. You could have put a grade 10 babe in front of me and I would have been over her like a cheap suit. I looked but couldn't see any girls in my immediate periphery that were trying to catch my eye but my ego told me that they were there but just out of sight! The Hoxton Creeper won again and rightly so from watching his mastery of a song that had been sprung on him and the other two a few minutes earlier.
The event finished with a stage invasion to play out a final song and with encouragement from my friends I clambered over the crowd railings, nearly kicking a photographer in the head to take my rightful place. Now that I was de-robed people joked with me about the Gun # 1 & 2 on my arms and I felt my arse nearly catch fire when I stepped back a little too close to one of the stage lights. Hot lights and sheer taut nylon are not a great combination!
The event was over and the lights were up and I was buzzing. As we left and the crowd thinned people still came over to have their photo taken and to clap me on the back. Even when outside a couple came over to clarify whether I was the Hooded Finger or Fingerer. How great that they had obviously been discussing me. I even had to draft M in when an older couple walking past congratulated me at the same time, told me what great entertainment I'd been and asked for an explanation on the 'guns' tattoo. I was totally comfortable wandering up Islington High Street in my outfit and wanted to be placed in the immediate vicinity of attractive women to take advantage of my non alcohol induced confidence levels.
Unfortunately we ended up in what must have been the only 'local' pub in Islington. For this I blame my cousin (she never reads this so she'll never hear!) and it couldn't have been a worse place to finish. Granted we could hear ourselves talk etc but I wanted to feel the hot gaze of hot women on my smoking outfit and bulging piece. All we got though was the attentions of this short, too tight t-shirted arse who kept staring over at our party and loudly proclaiming that this place was full of weirdoes. Had I not been in such a good mood I would love to have said
"What's your problem mate? How are we affecting you?".
To piss him off even more the Hoxton Creeper along with some other competitors and friends came into the pub. Naturally a rendition of 'Creeper, creeper, creeper' was in order for his championship winning status. I went over to him later and told him how great he was. He said some lovely things like how he was proud of me for what I'd done and how that when he first saw my performance he had thought 'this guy could beat me'. What an amazing thing to hear from him and what a great guy. He certainly has this stage charisma and his personality just comes shining out at you.
I eventually pulled my track suit bottoms on along with my shirt to my friends relief and we walked the girls back to the tube station. I'd had a great night but having that dose of being liked and recognised even if just in the actual venue was fantastic. I couldn't help but wish that more people that I knew could have seen me. Before the show I'd had been a little wary of having too many people that knew me being there to see me fail but after the event, when it had gone so well, I wished everyone had seen my finest hour. Drove back to M's with my friends giving me their recollections of the night from their side of the stage.
It was good to be out of the leotard and the seams had left lines right the way up the inside of my legs where it had been so tight. Over a couple of cups of tea we discussed what a great few days it had been. How it had been such a collaborative effort, arranged so quickly and spontaneously and how it couldn't have turned out any better than it had. I was so glad that I'd done it and proud of myself for doing it. It would be something to talk about and remember for some time. I'd entered the 2007 UK Air Guitar Championship and had 'played' the Carling Academy in Islington.
Saturday was a bit of lay in before heading back over to M's via the Sainsburys to pick up some drink. One of my cousin's friends was having a day party, which we had been invited to. It was a lovely day, with the sunshine out and life felt good. We chatted with her friends on the large balcony that she has whilst enjoying some nibbles. At one point we headed down to a local pub but it was a chav shithole and we only stayed for one drink. I think it was a mixture of the pikeys sitting opposite who let their barking German Shepherd just wander around and this prick on a scooter who buzzed around a couple of times as if we were meant to be impressed.
The three of us left there, headed back to the party girls house and decided to move onto Blackheath. We got changed before we set off and let everyone know where we would be if they wanted to join us. Grabbed some nosebag in one of the bars in Blackheath as were starving, which felt very grown up for us, before the girls came on to join us about an hour later. We pretty much stayed there for most of the night. I chatted to this rather arrogant Russian who'd been at the party and everyone said was rude and moody. She was to be fair and I was just intrigued to see how far I could push her. At one point she described my humour as being very specific, which I found amusing. I said that I preferred to think of it as quick and sarcastic to which she replied I've not seen any evidence of this. That's because I'm doing it know I replied. To give you an idea of her pretension she described her sister as working in the optical industry and when I enquired further admitted that it was working for Vision Express. I did do the gentlemanly thing and walk her to the bus stop to head home but I wasn't remotely interested in her. She later apparently described me to her friend as being 'nice but simple'.
The pub chucked out and not wanting to call it a night half of us piled in a cab while the others got into my car and we all headed over to the Venue in New Cross. Getting there a little later allowed us to sail right through and after spending a brief time in the ground floor bar we spent the rest of the night on the main dance floor. There is no doubt that it's a really good club. Although so ridiculously hot that I'm left sweating like a pig it plays some great tunes that you can really get down to. There is still a high proportion of good looking women in there. I'm sure when we next go there, with just the three of us there won't be any females in sight!
At one point near the end there was this stunningly cute blonde dancing behind us and all three of us couldn't help but keep glancing over. She had clocked us and I think expected at least one of us to go over but her group were entertaining some other guys that had gone over earlier and hence we just watched from afar. Besides it was getting even later by now and we had to consider how to get the girls home. I left the club at around 4.15 to drive them all the way back to Orpington which was about a 40 minute journey before turning round and heading back to M's who left the club with my brother and tabbed back to his. By the time I left his after a couple of cups of tea (even KFC was shut) it must have been about 7.00ish and I was truly knackered.
Although I got up at 12.00 ish on the Sunday I hadn't really slept that long having only got to bed at just before 8.00am. I needed to do the boring chores and there was also F1 on the tv which seemed to be turning into a real grudge match between Alonso and Hamilton. Hamilton was supposed to have let Alonso through on the qualifying laps as he had a better setup but he didn't. He claims it was because he thought Raikkonen would get past but who can be sure. EIther way Alonso was pissed off and then when they both pitted to get new tyres before blasting out for one final hot lap, Alonso stayed in the pits to delay Hamilton so he couldn't do another lap. The marshalls got involved, which was a shame and moved Alonso back, giving the pole to Hamilton. I didn't think it was a matter that needed to be corrected on the grid but rather an internal problem for McLaren. Hamilton won but I feel the fans, including myself, were denied a really good scrap between the two protagonists. I'm not taking sides because I like both of them but you have to feel for Ron Dennis whose got another Senna/Prost power struggle on his hands.
That night the three of us met up with another cousin to grab something to eat in Bluewater. We went to Tootsies which proclaims it makes 'the best burgers in the world'. On previous visits they've been ok though never fulfilling their wild claim. On this occasion they'd changed the menu and tried to go fancier. Hence the plate arrived with the burger on it and a small bowl of fries sitting on the plate next to it. Tight fucks. I can't stand stingy chefs, I really can't. I'm not a salad fan as you know and one of the reasons I always ask for it to not come with the salad is that I hope a chef might say 'hey that plate looks a little emptier, let's put some more fries on it'.
Maybe this is another reason why I'm looking forward to eating in the states. The burger was no better as the bacon in the burger was too stringy and I had to spit it out. I did keep chewing it but it was like trying to swallow an elastic band! I don't think we'll be eating there anymore.
We were in Bluewater to see Transformers again which we'd decided we had wanted to do about an hour after seeing it for the first time last week. I remember at the time thinking that having to wait a week would seem like an age but with other things to distract me it had arrived nice and quickly. It was brilliant to see it again and by knowing the story I could concentrate more on enjoying the action scenes and transformations. They stand up well on a second closer inspection and I think I enjoyed the film even more. Along with 300 this will be another film released this year that I will be buying on DVD.
And that was it, what a week. Sorry to have rambled on but I think being the Hooded Fingerer was a highlight of the year and I wanted a good record of what it involved and what it meant to me. Oh and as a final reward for those that have persevered here are the links to the videos of my performances on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88TQ0C7gDT4 1st round
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVYZx3VX6tE 2nd round
I will also put some pictures in my gallery if you want to keep your own piece of The Hooded Fingerer!
Transforming into a good weekend - 30/07/07
Earlier start than normal on Monday as I said I'd head over to P's to pick her up and run her and biscuit into the office. We were looking at a busy week in the office but Monday started slowly. Got to the pool again that evening and after a frustratingly slow 20 minutes in the main pool, I moved to the training pool once it had emptied out to blast out some continuous lengths.
About 10 minutes into my time in this pool and this 'beautiful' couple got in. Maybe it's unreasonable and demonstrates what a miserable, grumpy old bastard I'm becoming but there presence annoyed me. Primarily because they weren't swimming but rather pushing the limits of 'petting' to the max. There's nothing wrong with a little affection but practically fucking through your costume is a little much I think. The training pool is quite shallow and thus while he supported her weight with his feet on the floor she wrapped her legs around his waist to 'grind out' an assortment of routines and positions. Neither attempted any form of swimming though I'm sure at least one of them practised a stroke or two!
As I swam I tried to think of the words that described why what they were doing was giving me the arse. Inappropriate, immature, silly, showing off? I wasn't jealous of their intimacy. I maybe bitter but I don't have a problem with couples displaying genuine affection. This however didn't seem genuine but rather forced like a couple passionately snogging in the middle of a dance floor when the lights have gone up.
We were pretty busy in the office this week, working a couple of important pitch documents for a major client. One of then involved a 'flash' movie that had some teething problems but ultimately looked pretty smart, especially as it isn't something that we normally do. I felt good because my contribution was suggesting the background music to be a track called 'Communication' by Armin van Buuren. The piano in the tune makes it great for the constantly changing images the movie had and the title had particular resonance as the pitch was aimed at the media sector.
We had a couple of late nights whilst we worked on other documents and thus by Friday with the job completed and over at the clients we decided to kind of celebrate with 'bad, hot' lunch. Although expensive for 7 people we all got individuals pizzas. I got my favourite, deep pan meat feast with mushroom and extra pepperoni. I had asked for a large one but they got the orders slightly confused and I got a medium. Initially I was disappointed because I was starving but once I'd put away two slices I knew there would be enough. God it was good. One of the best I've had in an age. I'm never entirely convinced that they put extra pepperoni on a meat feat but they certainly had on this one. It was hot, juicy and tasty. I later discovered that just half a medium Meat Feast pizza is meant to contain 1,800 calories. So by eating a full one and having extra pepperoni I must have at least topped 4,000 cals! Thank god I went without breakfast that day.
The afternoon was tough staying awake with that sitting in my belly despite having two cans of coke but I made it through to home time. I'd booked the tickets for Transformers during the week for Friday night. Used this cinema ticket website to get them which I would normally never do as you can never select the actual seats that you want. This one however is different and offers up a plan of each screen that the film is showing in. My anal retention in always wanting the perfect seats has finally been answered and I can see many future occasions when I'll be sweating over which performance to see to ensure that it's in the biggest screen.
The earlier performance in the biggest screen had sold out, well sold out of any decent seats, so we went for the later showing at 10.50. Mate picked us up and we necked a few Red Bulls at the bar to keep us 'peaking'. I confess to being excited. Although films rarely live up to their hype, I was really hoping this one would deliver the goods. Had a quick pit stop and then took our seats. They were great, naturally, and we waited for it too start. Got the trailer for that JJ Abrams produced film that I mentioned a few weeks back, which my brother thought looked great.
Then the film started and there was a little cheer from me when the classification screen came on. This was it. The movie began and within five minutes showed this awesome Decepticon just destroying the shit out of this
The film then turned to setting the main characters and they were surprisingly engaging and well acted. I identified and really liked Sam (the main lead), his efforts to get a car and then get a girl. In the meantime the film cut back to the Decepticons plans to find their goal and the attempts of a special forces group, who escaped the earlier bases annihilation, to report to HQ. Indeed the forces battle with a scorpion like Decepticon was one of the best action sequences in the film. Pure Bay-ism with stirring building music, crunching explosions and destruction as the troops called in all the heavy guns to help them destroy the robot.
At one point I was desperate for a pee. I didn't want to go but thought it best I go now rather than later. I ran to the toilet, hurried doing the business and was so desperate to get back to my seat that I ran up three rows too far and started to push along to an empty seat that wasn't mine. It was only when I realised the faces didn't look familiar and turned to see my mates hand up that I realised what an arse I was making of myself.
The film continued delivering the goods whether in comedic scenes between Sam and his parents or in the action and transformation sequences. There was a character played by John Torturro that I really didn't like and thought his humour was mis-placed. I think it was because the humour of everyone else worked so well that his character seemed so glaringly bad or out of place. Ultimately it was a great film full of incredible action and special effects. The sequences where they change really are truly amazing. Quickly done but with enough detail to see that something is happening. But there's so many other cool bits to mention like how when the Decepticons speak the subtitles appear in their language before changing into English and how the little evil robots tries to cover his face when he is getting off air force one.
I know it's hardly going to win any best picture Oscars but as you can probably guess it blew me away and I can't wait to see it again.
Up early on Saturday morning as I wanted to get to Bluewater to take a look at some Crocs as well as picking up a black shirt for the James Bond disco. The Croc's were ok but the rude assistant kinda put me off when he told me they'd sold out of the 'off roaders' and then pretty much ignored me. I tried on the normal ones. They were reasonably comfortable but did look a little tired and not like they were worth £30. Mooched around some other shops and saw some cool Nike shorts in JD Sports along with some ridiculously cool Nike trainers/sandals. Nike Air Rifts is what they are called. Naturally these had to be expensive enough that I couldn't really justify buying them if then all I intended to do was kick the shit out of them on holiday! Frustratingly they don't appear to be any cheaper on the internet and I've got the 'will they be cheaper if I wait until I get to Orlando' niggle in my mind. Picked up my shirt and met my brother for an early lunch.
My ideas of going to the gym on the way back had to be forgotten as an accepted offer to pick up the girls (my cousin and her mate) meant I really needed to get my arse back home to start getting ready. I don't wear a great deal of black apart from black trousers so I think I probably looked a little pasty. What did I care? I was going to get hammered for once so I'm sure I'd be looking sweaty and pasty by the end of the evening. Collected the girls and up to my mates for champagne and drinks on the terrace before jumping in a cab to the embankment. There was already quite a gathering of people in dinner jackets and dresses congregating on the banks of the Thames and a slow building sense of anticipation.
My brother had come straight from work, with a change in the car, and met us on the pavement. We were both dressed similarly in black trousers, black shirt, cream single breasted jacket and a black handkerchief in our top pocket. I think we looked pretty cool though naturally he wore the outfit better than me. I reckon on one of our nights out in Orlando we should go out like this. I had a look round the gaggle that was building and did spot a nice looking girl. She was wearing a patterned dress, had long brunette hair, a pretty face and curves where I like them. Of the women I saw entering the boat she was the nicest one amongst them though I didn't expect that I would get the chance to chat to her.
The boat must have been about two thirds full when we pulled away from the moorings. It was attempting to rain but we started sinking the drinks up on the top deck anyway. It's funny that until you are on the river you don't realise how peaceful it can feel and how you should really use or experience it more often. You also find yourself compelled to wave gormlessly at either the occupants of passing boats or people standing on bridges as you pass underneath them. Once you've effectively left the city boundaries at Tower Bridge it is amazing how many residential blocks have sprung up on the banks of the Thames. The mood and atmosphere on the boat was pleasantly relaxed and there was a sense of collective fun. You didn't feel the 'edge' that a nightclub can sometimes have. We continued chatting and laughing with the girls and I could feel the alcohol beginning to bite.
At one point I went and stood on the bow as we slowly came up on the Millenium Dome, now known as the O2 centre. My face felt flushed, it was a warm evening and I was drifting along the main artery of my city. Life felt kinda good. I had the pleasingly lit up dome in front and the full glory of Canary Wharf behind me. I chatted to a couple of complete strangers which was different before heading back inside. The dance floor hadn't really caught fire so I requested 'Lets hear it for the boy' and did my best to get it moving. It worked and within about 5-10 minutes the dance floor was rocking and everyone enjoying themselves. I could see the girl I'd spotted on the pavement earlier was dancing along with her friends. Despite looking over she wasn't it seemed aware of my presence though her tall friend who I wasn't interested in was.
By this point I was too busy having a laugh, dancing, feeling drunk and sweating like everyone else because the doors and windows were shut due to it raining to pay a great deal of attention to others. Because the ball was in aid of a charity a raffle had been organised to add to the charitable coffers. Unfortunately they decided to draw this at about 11.10 and asked the DJ to stop so everyone could hear the excitement. The atmosphere just vanished and it was a strange decision in my book. From going so well the boat journey petered out like a damp squib. Our names were down on the guest list of a club opposite where the boat disembarked so at least we had somewhere else to go on to.
I saw the pretty girl as I left and bemoaned the fact that I hadn't done anything about her. Amazingly though as we queued to get into the club cowering under a selection of umbrellas in the pouring rain she was just in front of me and we started chatting. She didn't regularly come out as she was the mother of a young child. She was even prettier with the occasional drop of rain running down her face and we had a laugh as we waited to head in. She got in first and when I eventually got in the club, I got us all a round of drinks. She had taken up a seat with her friend, who was busily talking to someone else. After checking that my bro was ok I headed over and we picked up from where we'd left off. I wouldn't say the conversation was really flowing. All of it was about her and her kid and there wasn't really any kind of spark.
The lack of sleep combined with the drinking was making me ridiculously tired and when we moved downstairs I would have happily settled down in a sofa and gone to sleep, which is very unlike me. My interest waned in the girl (C) and I sat back, mooched around and did a little dancing as my brother chatted to her. I sunk a red bull on my own at another bar which helped bring me back from the sleep abyss that I was so desperately ready to fall into. I hooked up with C again a little later on and this time we had a really good chat. I think I relaxed a little bit more because I knew that she was only talking to me to maintain some company as her mate had just fucked off somewhere. It allowed me to broach a few more interesting topics like women losing their identity when they have kids and why people bother getting married again after two failed marriages.
She decided to head off about 3.15 ish and I followed her upstairs to make sure she safely got into a cab. I had earlier given her my business card when we had floated the idea of her sharing a cab home with us. She only lived in Rotherhithe, which is practically on the route back to my mates and I'd given it to her to ensure her that we were genuine. Foolish really because if we had been murderers we would have just taken the card back off her before we dumped her body in a shallow grave. Either way she had a means of contacting me if she wanted but as I kissed her on the cheeks goodbye I knew I wouldn't hear from her. I could have probably pushed harder but I don't think I wanted to and was happy to just have chatted to someone completely different. My mate and brother thought she would be in touch but I think my gut is reasonably intuitive. Still it was really great to know that I had spotted someone at the beginning of the night and by the end of it had been waving them off in a cab.
I aprreciate that it's hardly the same as pulling them and spending the whole night with them but considering I'm not that good with the chatting up routine it was a healthy boost to my confidence. We saw my cousin and her mate off into a cab and once again they had been great entertainment. L had come all the way down from Scotland for the night and I was kinda disappointed that it hadn't been more of a belter for her. We then finally got a cab for ourselves back to my mates. Whilst he went on ahead to pop on the kettle, my brother and I stopped at the KFC to grab some late night nosebag. As we stood in the rain waiting for our chicken to be freshly cooked (I never have a problem waiting if I know my order is going to be hot and fresh) we chatted to the occupants of some of the cars going through the drive thru. I even handed a card out to a car that had two delightful honeys in the front seats.
You can't beat a post evening dissection of the night over some take out food apart from the cup of tea that followed it that is. Hit the sack quite late in M's very comfortable spare bed, which I shared with my brother. Woke up the next day being cooked by the morning sun with a little dryness of the mouth but no real hangover which I was grateful for. Had a lazy morning and then wandered round to his local cafe that had just benefitted from a re-furb. It's been sometime since I've woken from a drunken night and broken in the day with a full english breakfast. Bacon, sausage, mushrooms, beans, fried egg, chips, two pieces of toast and a mug of tea. Is there a better breakfast after a big night out?
When my brother and I evenutally left my mates and got back home we pretty much slobbed for the rest of the day. There was an excellent Top Gear special on that night where Jeremy and James basically drove to the North Pole in this amazing fully specced out Toyota truck. Richard Hammond raced them by going in dog sled. Like the other programme they did when they drove through Florida, it was wonderful television. Hammond must have been so fit to have done the dog sledding route because there was many a time he came off and had to run alongside. I love how Jeremy and James attacked it with their normal aplomb. Ok, they had a film crew with them and probably weren't in that much danger but I liked their attitude of 'Well the Pole is there, so lets see how easy it is to get there in a car'. Instead of pandering to all the enviromentalists or the non approving explorers they just went for it in typical style. Great entertainment and miles better than the much publicised Heroes.
You could tell from all the advertising that BBC2 have been doing that they think it is a Lost beater. I like the concept of Lost and although sometimes frustrating I can't be arsed with the ponderously slow Heroes. We watched two episodes and gave it a go but it didn't excite and isn't for me.
Well that's about it. Apologies to all my avid fans for the delay but what I got up to next weekend took up a chunk of my time both before and after and prevented me from getting this entry up and running. Take care.
Motoring adventures - 23/07/07
The Janet Jackson album, Rhythm Nation 1814, that I'd ordered arrived this week. A good album and I like the title track Rhythm Nation along with Escapade and Black Cat. The real reason why I bought it though was for the two love songs at the end of the album. Come back to me is a great tune but Someday is Tonight has to be the sexiest song I've ever heard. A friend used to love his diva's when I was younger and this was his favourite tune. I'd not heard it for some time and thus it's a tune I want to listen to sparingly. Pop it on in the company of a sweet honey and I'll want to get down to some slow love making pronto.
Had another letter through from the police telling me that I had to send them my driving license photocard. It didn't make a great deal of sense really. I'd done the producer and the chap on the desk in the police station had double checked with a superior before taking the paper part of the license. What's the point in having a two part license if you have to hand over both parts. The card isn't chipped so they can't add any information to it and surely having had a police officer observe both parts of the license should be enough? Apparently not, so I spent an age trying to phone them to ascertain why they needed it.
I'm a law abiding citizen but I was concerned that they would hold onto the damn thing for an age and I really need to take it with me to Florida. Besides which I had my suspicions that they had lost my information and first part of the license. I eventually spoke to someone on the second day of trying who confirmed that having only one part of the license made it invalid. She did however promise that although the process normally took 6-8 weeks she would turn it around in a week bearing in mind I was going away.
The summer weather that we've been having has been crap. One of the things I like about my job is the ability when the weather gets warm to be able to drive into work and spend the day working in a t-shirt, shorts and sandals. It's the middle of July and I still haven't had a chance to do that yet. So on Wednesday I thought 'fuck it' pulled on some khaki shorts, a bright orange sunflower quiksilver shirt a la 'Magnum style' and a pair of sandals. It felt good to be in some summer apparel but naturally the two hours of sunshine decended into being overcast and muggy.
Many of us stayed late in the office that night as we worked on a project for a client. P headed off at around 10.15 and we called a cab to run another colleague to the station. We then heard a sound and a car alarm. Working on the Old Kent Road hearing car alarms, house alarms and police sirens is hardly a rare thing. N, our senior designer who is extremely fit (by this I mean athletic) went to the door first. I then saw him shout out at someone and go bolting out of the door. I followed him out and saw some little shit pulling himself out of the smashed passenger window of my mates car.
This bastard shouted back that he was sorry as he legged it down the yard with N in hot pursuit. I charged down after them. One part of my mind was filled with outrage and how if we got hold of his arse we could enjoy giving him a good kicking yet the other part was thinking how difficult it was to run in these sandals and how dirty my feet would get if my sandals came off. Amazing how your brain can process different things at once. On one hand retributive justice, the other foot cleanliness.
Unfortunately N didn't catch the little punk though the chase did force the kid to run blindly across the Old Kent Road at high speed increasing the risk, but unfortunately not the reality, of him being hit by a large lorry in some kind of Final Destination style death. I've never seen N angrier though and I had to laugh at his bellow across the road at this crim of
"Another 10 yards and I would have had you, you fucking cunt". We walked back up the yard to realise that this guy had left his bicycle behind. He must have cycled up the yard and decided to have a crack at the car. N continued to let off some steam, I think he'd had a bad day, on the bike by picking it up, slamming it down a couple of times before throwing it down the yard. I decided to take a screw driver to puncture the tyres but couldn't break through the rubber. Never mind I got a bread knife and simply sawed through both of them before throwing the bike over a fence.
M's passenger car window had been completely smashed and his CD magazine had attempted to be pulled out. It was a surprise that this shit still goes on. I mean in-car CD's are so cheap nowadays that it makes you wonder why they even bother stealing them, particularly when the thing wouldn't have had a head unit. We hoovered out all the glass and tried to cover the gaping hole with some plastic bubble wrap. What a pain for my mate.
We've got a James Bond themed river boat party to go to on the following Saturday, which I managed to double book with an old work colleagues 50th birthday party, so I had planned for a quiet weekend. Grabbed some fish 'n' chips with my brother and a copy of Smokin' Aces from the DVD store, as he hadn't seen the film, along with a game called the Darkness to play on the Saturday night. Spoke to a friend of my cousins who was over from Canada on Friday night and through conversation ended up promising to take her out for a damn good night as it would be practically her last one before she flew off to other parts.
Had to take my car to be serviced on the Saturday hence I had a rather painful early wakeup. Dropped the car off and decided to go for a stroll. I had packed a book within my combats but knew I could do with the exercise and time on my feet. Ended up walking to Bexleyheath, which must be about three miles away. Milled around the shops and had a good read of a selection of magazines in WHSmith's. I know my colleagues think I'm out of order for doing this but loads of other people do it and well, what the hell. I wanted to read up on LCD tv's and one of the What AV mags filled in some of the blanks for me and gave a little more weight to my thoughts on getting a Samsung 32".
I also used the spare time to look in some other shops and was reminded of the need to buy bits for the holiday, ranging from underwear to t-shirts, shoes through to sun tan lotion. The Soltan range from Boots is very good but also very expensive but they are doing a BOGOF offer at the moment which is tempting. Then of course you have the dilemma of what factor to get. I know the oh so sensible says get a high one but both of us would like to get a tan and don't want to come back whiter than when we left!
Walked back to the garage to discover the results of the service. The front discs were 90% worn, the rears 80% worn and the wipers were smearing. Yet they hadn't changed them and wouldn't have the time to do so because it was a Saturday and would be closing at 1.00pm. Right, so you basically charged me £175 to compile a list but not actually do any of it. What a pain in the arse to have go back there again. Had considered going straight from there to the gym but as it was still before midday thought I'd try and get a washload of clothes on.
Good job I did because little after 20 minutes of being indoors P called to tell me she'd been in an accident and had written the car off. She and Biscuit weren't physically hurt but I could tell she was shook up and there were some tears. She had no way of getting home and asked if I could come and get her. Naturally I was happy to help and be of some use so I jumped in the car and blasted over there. I might have driven a little fast and managed to make good time to get through the traffic and through the Blackwall Tunnel. I care a great deal for P and the idea of her being in distress and needing help made me get there as quickly as I could. It felt nice as well to feel that I was being of use to someone. I always say to close friends that if they need me I'll drop everything to help them, this gave me opportunity to demonstrate the validity of that statement.
A good samaritan had given P a lift to a nearby pub as her car had been taken away by the police for the insurance company to collect at a later date. I pulled into the car park and gave both P and B a long hug. Poor things. We thanked the Samaritan, a lovely lady named Sue, and then sat in my car as P recollected what had happened. Basically she had been returning from taking Biscuit for a walk and was heading down the road when this old duffer in Ford Ka turned into her. Whether he didn't see her or couldn't work out the distances we don't know but he turned right just as she almost drew alongside at 40mph.
P didn't have time to break and the cars collided. Both airbags went off and the car came screeching to a halt. The windscreen cracked and wreckage lay strewn across the road. P couldn't get out of the door at first and had to give it a good push. She ran round to the passenger to retrieve Biscuit. In the accident it seems the cage door on her carry crate had popped out and Biscuit jumped out as soon as the door was opened. She then ran across the road and into the forest. I guess she was scared and then ran back across the road and round the car before P could collect her safely in her arms. We headed back to P for a much needed cup of tea and further recollection on what had happened.
I ran her up to Waitrose to get some bits as Tesco's had cancelled their delivery due to flooding of the warehouse. I also thought it good to knock up a little something to eat. Being in an accident can be pretty shaky, especially when your mode of transport is then taken away from you, and some grub can help with these things. Fried up some pieces of chicken, onions and mushrooms, tossed in a little tagliaterre and some cream and served with grated cheese and garlic bread. It was a good scoff, though in my normal fashion there was loads left.
I was conscious that I'd given my word to my cousins friend that I would give her a good night out but had warned my cousin en route to P's that the night might not happen. She was fine with it but I didn't want to let them down. This doesn't mean I was trying to get out of looking after P or continually checking the clock. After our grub and a very nice piece of Banoffee pie I checked that P was ok, which she was, and decided to head off. It was about 7.30 - 8.00ish so I wasn't cutting and running. Drove home whilst deciding what we could now do bearing in mind the later start time.
The Venue seemed the best option. With it staying open to 4.00ish we wouldn't have to worry about getting there until 10.30 - 11.00 ish and I still had to get home, iron a top and jump in the bath. Called E when I got in to confirm the night. There was a little reluctance as by this time it was about 9.00 ish but I liked that. Most 35 years wouldn't be organising a night out that meant a pick up at 10.00 ish would they. My brother was out with his mates that night and I contacted my friend who although having settled in for the night agreed to come out like a true star.
By 10.45 I'd picked up the three girls and was at my mates having a warm up drink. We drove down and I fretted over where I could park the car before discovering a place just down the road that wasn't on the main route of all the drunken twats that stagger home with bottles of beer or greasy kebabs. In preparation for the bouncers taking my gum I stuffed a packet in the wasteband of my boxers. I couldn't afford to be without gum after having had the garlic bread. Amazingly the bouncer made me remove the gum that was in my mouth but seemed oblivous to the whole stick that was in my hand when he asked me to empty my pockets. Result
The night was really good we moved around a couple of the floors before spending most of the time on the middle. The Canadian seemed to be enjoying herself which was the important thing and could certainly handle her alcohol. At one point she went to the bar with my mate and did a round the world shot trip of at least four or five. When she returned from the bar she looked no worse for wear and even when dropped home was clear and lucid. Another thing we noticed in the club was that without the over powering blanket smell of smoke, as they've have now been banned, you got a lot more human scent. Perfume, aftershave, armpit fug, body odour and arse crack. There must have been someone in the club that was cutting the cheese almost every 20 minutes!
They played some great party tunes upstairs including the Quo, who are always great to hear. There were quite a few girls in the club and I'd have to say that it almost seemed like the women outnumbered the guys. At one point point this very young girl backed right onto me whilst dancing and then looked up at me with her puppy dog eyes. Even for me she was too young. She moved off with her friends before walking back past and giving me the slowest, longest 'fuck me' eyes I've seen in a long time. Poor child, she must be smashed out of her head. Needless to say within 20 minutes she was rubbing up and down another guy.
Even by 4.00ish when the place was beginning to thin out there were still girls around in little groups, which is normally unheard of. We decided to head off shortly afterwards having given a very good account of ourselves. We did swing by the famous Blackheath Tea Hut but when I asked if they wanted anything and was told water I understood that they might not appreciate the magic of the Hut. Never mind, we dropped the girls off before returning there. I must admit that I found pushing the burger down quite a challenge that night but the tea as ever was still the amber nectar. Despite the number of Red Bulls I'd consumed, driving home after dropping off M was hard. It must have been around 6.00ish and there was plenty of tongue biting, finger pinching and window opening to keep myself awake. Even when I pulled up outside my gaff there were parts of the journey that I didn't remember!
I was quite pleased with myself. I might be 35 but I'm still capable of heading out for a long old night at a moments notice. It was also flattering to note that I'd delivered on the promise of a good night out and the girls had enjoyed themselves.
European Grand Prix on the Sunday and what a race it was. One of the best I've seen in a long time. It started tipping it down just as the lights turned green resulting in all the cars racing into the pits for wet weather tyres before they started to come crashing off the circuit. At one point ITV had a fixed camera on Lewis Hamilton who had come off and at least two other cars skidded off and slid into shot. They were forced to restart the race with of all things a Spyker on pole. Lewis gambled on the track drying out quickly and went for slicks whilst everyone else went for intermediates. The gamble didn't pay off and he found himself at the back of the pack.
What was amazing about him though was the fact that he didn't give up. So many 'journeyman' F1 drivers like Trulli, R. Schumacher, Fisichella and even Button find themselves in a low position and then just give up. Not Lewis. Even though he was 90 seconds down his lap times were consistently matching and in some times exceeding those of the leaders. He pulled off some blinding over taking moves as he tried to claw his way back. As the race neared the end with 10 laps to go the heavens opened again which added real drama and allowed Alonso to catch up with Massa. As the two duked it out they went round a couple of corners side by side and even touched before Alonso managed to get past. Brother and I were jumping up and shouting and cheering at the TV which rarely happens when watching F1. Lewis pushed so hard right until the end but just missed out on a championship point. He had the humility afterwards to admit that he'd learnt 100% more in that race than he had in any others. To me it demonstrated a lot more guts and fight and I admired him more for this performance than any of his others so far.
And that was about it. Had the leftovers from the pasta I'd done at P's, watched the last two hours of Titanic as it was on the TV and fell asleep watching the MotoGP in Laguna Seca meaning it wasn't that exciting. Still Casey Stoner won again and that's not a bad thing.
Cheers
Fully geeked out - 16/07/07
I managed a consecutive Monday of swimming! That's it, I'm back on the fitness vibe. Hardly. I've had enough false starts to know that it's going to take a whole load more exercise to not feel a smidgen of embarrassment when the t-shirt comes off at the water parks and beach in Orlando. When we are re-creating Top Gun by playing ball games on the beach with our tags bouncing around I never remembered Cruise having a deflated inner tube round his waist! The gloves continue to perform well as I'm sure you'll be delighted to know.
Driving up Deptford Hill on Tuesday night and I couldn't help but notice the burnt out speed camera on the right hand side. What folk hero had carried out that act of retribution I wondered as I chuckled to myself. The camera has 'flashed' me a couple of times and although I've never got a ticket, I've always been wary of going past it, even when travelling in the opposite direction. I even had to text a friend, who'd also been 'flashed' by it once, to share the good news. One down and a couple of thousand to go.
I also saw Misery Girl on one of the nights driving home. She looked great in this red silky blouse and black skirt but she was walking along with this very average looking guy. He wasn't walking on the outside, which made me instantly dismissive of him and her, and I was surprised that she would have gone with someone below her league status. This could mean a couple of things.
He wasn't her partner - Doubtful.
She's a lovely girl who judges a man on his kindness and personality rather than his looks and position - Doubtful
Although very pretty with a great figure to boot, no one ever approaches her and thus even a lowly man with some courage can get to know her - Doubtful (and an urban myth)
She's too high maintenance with so much baggage and personality defects that nobody any better would tolerate her shit - Likely
It was nice to spot her once again and she still looks very good.
Saw a trailer at the beginning part of the week for a film that is loosely titled Cloverworld. I say loosely because this isn't the actual title of the film. Indeed the title isn't known because it doesn't mention it in the trailer. In a refreshing twist the trailer shows a scene and that's it. No explanation, no text on screen to provide context or exposition and no cheesy talkovers promising 'edge of the seat excitement' or saying that 'if you see one film this year'. It's great to see a trailer that simply tries to excite, engage and intrigue the audience. As you know a pet hate of mine are trailers that give too much away in a film so it's really wonderful to see something that has the courage, and faith in itself, to play with the audience's head a little. I'm sure it's no accident that it's produced by JJ Abrams. Wouldn't it be wicked if this was the only trailer that was ever released for the film so that when you eventually saw it you had little clue about what the next two or so hours would hold. Here's a link for you to go and see the trailer if you wish.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/11808/
Wednesday was the start of E3 in Los Angeles. For those that don't know this is where the big computer gaming companies, primarily Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo, wheel out the games and news that will keep their existing and potential new fans splashing the cash over the next few months. This normally results in an orgy of trailers, previews, walk throughs and more for a host of games and this year it was no different.
I confess to genuine excitement when I flicked onto the old trusty ign.com site to see material on Ace Combat 6, Mass Effect, Fable 2, Call of Duty 4, Halo Wars, Resident Evil 5, Turning point, Project Gotham Racing 4 and best of all Halo 3. Just as the fourth Halo book, Ghosts of Onyx, arrived in the post so the first proper Halo 3 trailer showing the previously secret single player campaign was released. It looked very good and got me quite pumped. To be honest so did the trailers for Mass Effect, Ace Combat 6 and COD 4, which looks genuinely stunning and could possibly (I say this gingerly) be a contender against Halo 3 for best FPS on the 360. After watching all the trailers and trying to read all the news I began to give serious thought to an HD ready Samsung 32" LCD. With so many wonderful looking games coming out maybe spending £500 might not be a bad investment. Either way the last three or four months of this year should be pretty cool from a gaming front. Maybe when I get back from Orlando and leading up to Christmas I won't feel so despondent at the lack of girlfriend.
On Friday I was taking a client out to a Star Wars convention that was taking place in the ExCel exhibition centre in Docklands. At our first meeting he'd taken a call and had a Yoda ring tone which I'd picked up on. From there we found ourself discussing Star Wars as well as having a common interest in music, films, games etc. Anyway he'd sent me a link a few months ago which talked about this big event called Celebration Europe. We then discussed it about a month back and he asked if I wanted to go along to it. To be honest I'd never been to a film or sci fi convention before and I thought it would be interesting. It was nice to be asked to go along as a friend but he was also a client so mixing business with pleasure is never a bad thing.
He admitted to me as we got closer to the event that he had concerns over how many other people would be going and whether it would be just rammed full of geeks. I was relieved because I'd been thinking the same thing but hadn't wanted to say anything in case it caused offence. We booked the tickets, he is a client after all, and P and I would joke with him when we spoke to him about whether he was going to be wearing a costume and whether he'd been stitching and/or putting it together that night.
As the day drew closer we thought it would be funny if in fact I met him wearing a Star Wars costume. Naturally I wouldn't wear it for the whole day but rather wear it for the first five minutes to generate a laugh and then take it off. What costume to get? I mean I realise it was only for a laugh but every man, ok overgrown child, wants to wear a Star Wars costume. Hell one of my mates was once bidding in the hundreds for a stormtrooper outfit on e-bay though this was more for a collectors piece rather than something to charge around his bedroom in. I fancied a Darth Vader outfit, who wouldn't, but on further research we agreed that the Yoda outfit was the most ridiculous looking and thus the one more likely to generate the laughs. A next day delivery order on the internet and it arrived on the Thursday.
It basically came with this dark brown nylon jumpsuit, a light brown nylon hooded robe, a brown sash and a rubbery Yoda mask that only covered the face from the line of the chin to the top of ones head. Here's how ridiculous it looked, well how they portray it that is!
http://www.partypants.fsnet.co.uk/male/fd-yoda.htm
It needed something extra so P fashioned me a hessian belt to go around the robe and I hurried up to Toys'r'us to get a toy lightsaber. It was only one of the cheap £4.99 ones but I must have spent about 10 minutes deciding which green lightsaber to get and then another 15 ensuring I got the one with the best opening action. It was the type that opens up telescopically with a quick flick of the wrist.
Friday arrived after a particularly late Thursday night when I was trying to get my latest journal up onto the site. It felt pleasantly different to be getting the train to commute into town though there were a lot less people at my station than I had expected. Had grabbed a newspaper as well so settled in for a comfortable 40 minutes with the luxury of having free time to actually read the thing. Pulled into Cannon Street station and I took up residence in the McDonalds on the street. It had to be the smartest McDonalds I have ever been in. Pastel colours, plenty of comfy seats and a host of attentive, willing staff. It felt like a fancy starbucks.
As I ummed and ahhed about what to have the client called me on the mobile to say that his train would be pulling into the station at 10.15 and could I meet him with some breakfast food from McDonalds. I took my time with my sausage and egg mcmuffin meal before ordering his and setting off the underground station. A few nerves began to set in as the embarrassment of getting changed on a busy platform began to make its presence felt in the pit of my stomach. Found the right platform but my plan of going to the far end where it would be quietest was thwarted by it being one of the kind that has dual entrance/exits at either end.
Positioned myself in the middle with the guards office to my right and a bank of four chairs to my left. I was keeping an eye on the clock as I realised that I only had one chance and if I stalled for too long there was a chance he would come onto the platform, see me and ruin the joke. I reached into the bag and pulled on the robe. This wasn't too bad. Ok it looked a little silly but no one was going to bat an eyelid bearing in mind some of the freaks you see on the underground. I tied up the belt and hooked on the lightsaber and began to get a few looks from some of the people on the platform.
10:10 arrived and with his train due to be pulling in at 10:15 I realised I had to take the plunge and pull on the mask. This was tough. I'm a tart no doubt who likes a bit of attention but this was going to be different. I mean there's no hiding what I was trying to be. 'Bollocks to it' I said, grabbed it from the bag and stuck it over my face. I then pulled the hood up and over to cover the rear of my exposed head. I didn't want to look anyone in the eye and catch their eyes of derision so I just looked down and kept my hands joined together so they were folded under the big cuffs. At one point a DLR train pulled in and as I looked up I saw two young girls staring out of the window at me. Slowly they brought their hands up to hesitantly wave at me and I responded back at them. As if I wasn't getting enough attention the guard on the train shouted over to me
'Are you going to Custom House mate?' (Custom House being the station for the ExCel centre).
'No I'm waiting for a friend' I responded. I did consider replying in a yoda accent but thought better of it.
I looked up and down the station and spotted my friend/client who was looking directly at me. Not wanting to give the game away immediately I deliberately looked in the other direction. To my horror he moved off the platform and into the area behind it. Jesus Christ! At least when I was in his company and laughing about it I wouldn't feel so stupid. Now I had to go and chase him down. I started off down the platform clutching my bag and his McDonalds breakfast and trying to prevent the hood from blowing off my head. I turned the corner and there he stood, in his own little world with his headphones on.
I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and just stared at me. I started to say something whilst he looked at me like I was a complete stranger (which I guess I was).
'Looking for someone you are, found someone you have' I said in a rather good Yoda accent. With a sigh he pulled out one of his headphones and said
'What do you want?' I was dying on my arse and this wasn't going to plan. I said my piece again and received another 'what'. In the end I had to lift up the McDonalds bag and say 'I brought your breakfast' before he realised it was me. As our train had just pulled in we jumped on board and he asked
'What are you doing?'. I explained myself and he laughed. As I took the stuff off and packed into my little bag I realised that it hadn't gone exactly how I had wanted it to. Not only hadn't he seen me when we had locked eyes on the platform but he had also walked up and down the platform once to see if he could find me. I did ask how he could not have noticed a six foot Yoda standing there but I don't think he was a good morning person. Oh well, never mind. It made for an amusing story and I'd certainly pushed the boundaries of my embarrasment threshold. I was wearing my t-shirt that says Geek on the front and 'My knowledge, your misery' on the back. Particularly apt for the day I thought.
The actual event was really quite cool. There were loads of people wandering around in some wicked looking outfits. Vaders, stormtroopers, speeder bike troopers, Luke's, Obi-Wans and even a few Leia's in the bikini outfit from Return of the Jedi! There were some cool displays and stands there and even a stand from the Tunisian tourist board, which I thought was ridiculously clever (The scenes of Tattoine in Star Wars were filmed in Tunisia). It was standing here that a photographer approached me, told me how much he liked my t-shirt and asked whether he could shoot it. Naturally I said yes and he snapped off a few before asking if I would stand by this Yoda statue for him to take some more. He only really concentrated on shooting the t-shirt and not getting my face in it.
This of course could have been for:
A. Contractual release problems if my face had been in the shot
B. I was too ugly to make the shot saleable
C. My face was so handsome that I clearly couldn't be a geek.
I was quite chuffed and it wasn't until Monday that I discovered that he had been a professional photographer and had put my image, along with some others, onto the Getty Editorial site. Take a look in my Non specific paynes gallery if you want to see the image. It should be next to the one of me in my Yoda outfit.
We carried on moving round the arena and looking at the stands. There were a lot of people selling Star Wars memorabilia and old collectibles, which was to be expected, though I had hoped for there to be more creativity on display. In other words I thought there might be some Chad Vader DVD's to buy or people who had been given more 'free reign' to do things with the Star Wars theme. It was still good to mill around and I was surprised by both the amount of women there and also the amount of Europeans who had obviously come over on the Eurostar or whatever. There was also some recruiting stands for the Royal Marines and the army which I thought bizarre. I can imagine a Marines face when a buck toothed Star Wars nerd goes over and asks how he becomes a Marine and whether he gets a blaster.
We grabbed a drink and then decided to check out a guy called Charles Ross. He basically does this one hour show where he goes through the first three Star Wars films himself. A bit like the one man shakespeare company. He does the voices and acts out some of the keys scenes to basically tell the whole trilogy. When he first started by humming out the opening tune and showing the words scrolling, I thought it was going to be very painful, but his observations and recounting was excellent and had me roaring with laughter. Some of the things he picked up on or chose to re-enact where brilliant and he truly was the best thing I saw all day. His show was fresh, original and funny and if you had to be a geek to appreciate it then I'm glad I was.
Followed this by watching a talk by Steve Sansweet who was the biggest collector of Star Wars memorabilia which had led to him becoming the official curator of the Lucasfilm archive. He had a book coming out in October and this was basically a plug for it. The talk was interesting and he did offer some interesting anecdotes. Followed this with a talk by the developers of a rather impressive new Star Wars game called Force Unleashed. I've seen things on Bungie and Microsoft where developers give talks on games they are working on and once again it was good to have at least been to my first 'videogame briefing'.
Mark Hamill was on later in the afternoon for a Q & A session which we decided to check out. I had kinda been looking forward to seeing him but if I'm honest, he was a little boring. He went off piste in his rambling answers and talked way too much about his own projects which lost and bemused both me and my buddy. When that mercifully finished we bid our farewell to Celebration Europe. I'd enjoyed myself, if I'm honest. I wouldn't have gone back again (it ran for another two days) but it was something different to do and like most middle aged men I did have my obsessed Star Wars phase when younger.
We headed into town and hooked up with some of my clients old work buddies. It was lovely the fact that he wanted to invite me along to the night with them and we all had a bit of a laugh. Headed to an Italian restaurant for a little nosebag before having to race off to London Bridge to catch the second to last train home.
It was funny coming home on the train. The last time that I did that was when I worked at Coopers & Lybrand and it was usually after an entertaining evening. London has a great atmosphere at night and travelling away from it alone almost makes you feel short changed that you haven't got enough out of the night. I confess to thinking that it would have been nice to have been travelling home with someone or better still had someone to come home to, talk about the day with and then slip into bed with them. Someone who wanted to know all about my day and would have let me give them a nice cuddle.
Headed to the gym on Saturday for a session before picking up my brother and getting my hair cut. He'd been away for a few days in Plymouth with work and recounted his adventures to me. It sounded like he'd had a good time. Went out again that night. Up to my mates for a few drinks and then down to our regular bar in Blackheath. There was five of us and we had a good laugh. There were a bunch of four honeys celebrating one of their birthdays and as we left to move onto somewhere else I stopped to tell one of them that her label was sticking out of the back of her top. As I looked back through the glass she gave me this lovely, sweet, don't go look though I'm sure it was the drinks playing tricks with her mind and maybe the glass playing tricks with mine!
We had booked ourselves to go back to the Embassy Rooms club that we'd been to after the Snowy Ball before Christmas. After a food pitstop and unexpected traffic we did get there a little late (after 1.00ish). The quality of the girls milling around outside was both a sight to behold and also alarming at how next league they were. In some ways I wanted to look and admire them and in others I wanted to hold them in contempt for being so shallow and vacuous. Somehow my mate's brother managed to get us into the club and onto a table service table. The club was rammed and we were kinda squashed up near the rear.
I tried to be the life and soul by dancing and trying to 'get down' but it was difficult. We were located under the stairs, it was hot and we kept getting knocked into by a drunken stag party that were over spilling their designated area. In the end I sat down and found myself beginning to fester in a contemptuous rage.
All the blokes in there were the kind of drunken arses I can't stand and the women circling around, although pleasing to the eye, were so into themselves and elevated beyond our normal station that I wanted nothing to do with them. I confess that I probably wouldn't have had the courage to chat to a girl if I'd seen someone but you just felt that if you did speak, the girls there would just look down their nose at you. Therefore I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of rejecting me. Makes you wonder how nice or cool it must be to be in a postion (rock star, super rich etc) to have all these girls wanting to have the chance to talk to you and you being dismissive of them.
Fragile ego, defense mechansim, I'm not sure what it was but the more I looked around the more disdain I felt for these pitiful creatures. It's silly really. If I was having a good time or had been drunk I wouldn't have noticed anyone, well only the pretty ones. The last time I was there I was drunk and thus oblivious to all the wankers. On this occasion, with nothing to do but people watch I felt differently. We saw it out to the bitter end and left having chatted to not a soul.
It was a shame really as the night had started off so promising and we'd been looking forward to seeing the Embassy Rooms. The last time we'd gone it had been a Thursday night so maybe it's a completely different type of crowd on a Saturday. I'd like to give the club another go but just maybe not on a weekend.
MotoGP on Sunday and it wasn't a classic. Rossi crashed out, Stoner came 5th due to failing tyres and Pedrosa claimed his first win of the season. The highlight was seeing 'The Kentucky Kid' aka Nicky Hayden, grab himself another podium position with a third place. The championship moves to Laguna Seca next week and I'd be delighted if he could do well and maybe even win.
Hooked up with travelling cousin who is so funny, radiant and entertaining (I only say all of this because she grumbles that I never mention her!) and her friend. Brother and I picked them up before heading over to my mates for a quick drink and introduction. Returned to Blackheath for some drinks and then a spot to eat in an Italian restaurant that a local barman recommended. It was a really great way to end the weekend. Good food, good company and good conversation. It was nice to chat to some new people and remind myself that I can be entertaining. I have to also add how proud I was of my mate.
I know we are grown adults but I believe your friends represent who you are and what you are like and he was great company. Whether it was confidently handling the wine list in the restaurant (never a strong point of mine as I don't like wine) or engaging the girls in humourous banter he was superb and made me really proud that I could say that he was my friend. I'm not hero worshipping him or anything, just saying that he's a cool bloke whose friendship I'm grateful for.
From the meal we managed to get an invite from my cousins friend for a house party in a few weeks time which should be good. If there is one thing the three of us are good at it's providing entertainment and value at house parties. Besides which it will be cool to be introduced to a new group of people.
Thanks for tuning in and apologies for the rambling length.
Living like a normal person - 09/07/07
Went swimming on Monday night and took along the gloves that a colleague had bought for me a few months back. They are made of a neoprene material, are webbed between the fingers and thumb and are meant to help push you through the water harder and faster. I must have looked a knob with my black goggles, which are slightly bigger and more encompassing than the normal ones, and my 'man from Atlantis' gloves. I never walk out of the changing area wearing it all like some kind of over serious prat for all those that might be worried. I get into the water, transform myself into the 'thorpedo' and set off.
The gloves certainly work and they really do push you through the water at a faster rate of knots. After a few lengths you could really feel them working the shoulders as the extra energy they expend takes its toll. I'm not really one for worrying about technique etc so the more calories I burn and the more knackered I become, the better. For the last two lengths I took the gloves off and christ my hands felt tiny. I felt like I had female, pianist fingers. I'm surprised I managed to pull myself through the water, they were so feeble!
Drove over to our clients for a meeting on Wednesday with both of my directors. The meeting went well and they are both so good in a meeting. Credible, professional and friendly. I always think I've got the friendly side covered but am never confident of the professional and credible side of things. I guess that's why the company has done so well for so many years.
Decided to have an Indian from the restaurant over the road for lunch on Friday. It made a welcome change and it was nice to have a chat with the owner whilst over there. We talked about the difficulties he was facing in opening in a new location. Being on the Old Kent Road, it doesn't get a great deal of walk by trade, as opposed to it's sister restaurant in Blackheath and if anyone did spot it, there is nowhere to park. We talked about his new menu and I got to tell him how much I liked the fact that it wasn't your typical 'low rent' Indian restaurant. It was kinda cool to be able to put forward my thoughts and opinions and feel that they were having some use or effect. Needless to say the Chicken Tikka Masalla, Naan, Bombay potatoes and plain rice were very tasty.
Seemed to get in a bad mood later that night. Don't know what it was. Boredom at my excitement free life, despair that my site still hasn't been 'discovered' by the masses, frustration or indeed resignation at not finding a girlfriend. God knows but sometimes you can't help slipping into a little mood. I was pretty bitter on the drive home and thus everyone who mildly irritated me was cursed within the safety of my car with a torrent of expletives.
Flopped down onto the sofa and flicked through the TV channels. The reamining 25 minutes of the Elephant Man was on. I wasn't going to watch as I didn't want to come in near the end but with little else on I decided to check it out. I joined at the part where John (ie John Merrick - The Elephant Man) is being chased and harassed by the crowd in the train station. This baying mob pull off his mask and chase him into the toilets where he shouts at them that he is not an animal and is a human being. By this point my lip was beginning to tremble. The next scene shows Dr Treves, played by Anthony Hopkins who was initially John's curious doctor but grew into his friend, hearing the news that John has been found. He rushes into the corridor as a policeman who is assisting John stumbles. There was just something in the way that Treves catches his friend and embraces him, comforted in the knowledge that he is back and safe that just opened the floodgates for me.
I couldn't stop. Whether it was a build up from my earlier mood or even for feeling foolish at how I could bemoan my life compared to John's, I don't know but it was full on sobbing. The Elephant Man has always been my achilles heel. It generates such a range of emotions in me. Anger and protective feelings during the scenes when John is bullied and beaten and crushing sadness at the moments when he reveals what a sweet, kind and sincere man he is despite the life that he has lived. Even now as I write this I can't help but well up. This might sound silly but I think if I ever showed this to a potential partner and they didn't feel the same way I wouldn't be able to see a future with them. The film manages to pull just the right emotional strings and feelings within me and on this particular topic I would want someone to feel exactly the same. There are two other scenes in the film that press the self destruct button. When John starts reciting the Lords Psalm and Treves hears him move onto parts that he hadn't taught him to say and the part when John goes to Treves house for tea with his wife. A wonderful, emotional, moving film that resonates and connects with me at a real base level. Titanic, Gump and co still have the power to affect and impress by The Elephant Man really is my emotional kryptonite.
P was going to the wedding ceremony of a client on the Saturday and I'd offered to Biscuit-sit for her to lessen the amount of time that she would be on her own. Along with my mate I was attending the evening ceremony of the same wedding but P would be on her way back home by that point. I waved P off at 10.30 and boo boo (one of my many pet names for biscuit) and I headed off to a local forest to go for a nice walk about half an hour later. She barked a little when I put her in her carry case but as soon as we pulled away from the house she was as good as gold. She lay on her back and licked my fingers that I occasionally poked through the grill as we drove to our destination.
I'd been a little worried about letting her off her lead because sometimes she played up when I did it in the fenced area that we go to when I take her for walks from the office. She was on the extendable lead and after we pushed deep into Epping Forest and no one was around I decided to give it a go. Again she was brilliant and would remain within about a 10 ft radius of me. Sometimes she would just sit down and let me get a little way ahead, making me turn round and say 'come on boo boo' to which she would come galloping over to me.
We only encountered two groups of people. One was an older couple who were obviously looking for somewhere to have a little 'action'. The woman was wearing a skirt and inappropriate shoes for a woodland walk and seemed too embarrased to meet my eyes when I walked past. The other were two women on horses who seemed lost and unable to get back to their start point because there was a ditch in the way. I investigated this so called ditch and it was basically a six ft wide area of soft mud. I felt like saying to them 'You do know that you are on a horse, don't you? An animal that is capable of jumping a combined 7ft tall hedge fence with a water jump behind it, at speed, during a race"
Biscuit had got some muddy paws during the walk, as I had on my boots which I'd stupidly forgotten to change before the walk, so I got her into her carry case and then ran a lukewarm, shallow bath for her when we got in. Stripped down to t-shirt and boxers, I carried her upstairs as she began to wriggle for freedom. I didn't want to let her go and dirty the carpets but I could feel her slipping and by the time we made it to the bath she was practically falling out of my arms. She landed in the water and began to turn like a bobcat. It was like trying to hold down a thrashing crocodile. Water was spraying everywhere as she struggled to get away.
I wasn't being cruel and she did need cleaning. I offered soothing words and encouragement and for one brief moment she did relax and remain still sitting in the water as I got the worst of the mud off. She then returned to scrambling and found her most comfortable position was with her front paws over my shoulders so that my head as I tried to clean her back legs was pressed into her belly. It made for quite a sight! I didn't mind, I knew it was only because she was nervous but in a way it was kinda funny. Not the fact that she was scared but rather my soaking wet state and the spots of muddy water sprayed everywhere.
P had left me the ingredients for a wicked hamburger, oven wedges, sour cream dip and glass of coke lunch and I hungrily prepared it. It was great getting it ready. The smallest things please or excite me as you know and being somewhere different with Armin playing on P's iPod docking system was pretty cool. I could almost imagine myself having my own place and the responsibilities and kudos that, that brings. I felt like I was a proper person, living the dream of having a house and a garden and a dog. Living with my step dad, albeit sharing all the bills and having complete independance, I still feel like I'm 'playing' at being an adult. Because I don't feel accepted by others in my age group etc for not having my own place, whether rented or owned, I always feel like a bit of an outsider. Yet here I was tasting what that life could be like and if felt good.
I switched to some melancholy music and dozed off on the sofa with boo lying next to me. She can be a petulant, stubborn character sometimes but other times so deliciously cute. On this occasion with her still incredibly soft fur and warm little body snuggled into me, she was in the latter camp. Showered, changed and headed off around 6.30 ish to pick up my friend. Naturally I worried that I might have forgotten to have locked a door or left the gas on despite having double checked everything and I think in total Biscuit was only on her own for about an hour before P got home.
Drove to the wedding reception, which was in a lovely part of England near Chesham. It was your standard reception replete with all the stereotypical people that you expect to see at a wedding. The bride and groom looking genuinely in love, which is always heart warming to see, and the groom got noticeably choked at one point when discussing his new wife, which I thought really endearing. The bar remained free all night, which was amazingly generous but as I was driving I didn't, and wouldn't have, take advantage of it. The only negative of the venue and was a shame was that with the couple of rooms that they'd gone for people spaced themselves out too much.
I don't blame them. Human nature dictates that you find a little space of your own and when faced with people you don't know retreat into it. There was the bar area, a quieter area where the cake was served, an outside patio and the dance floor area. Unfortunately the dance floor remained virtually empty all night. I don't say unfortunate for my own reasons but everyone getting up and having a boogie does help the evening be more memorable. In a way I think the weddings that are done on a tighter budget benefit because everyone is stuck together in the same room for the reception, food and disco.
When the first of my mates got married, the reception was held at a small and local cricket club. The restrictive size of it really helped, forcing everyone together and along with another mate who was also an usher, we got everyone up dancing from the very first song. It was a great success and I think primarily from having a smaller, more intimate venue.
The Tour de France started in London on the Sunday and actually went past the end of my road. I had considered going up to watch it but unlike say the marathon where the leaders go past and then a sea of people follow, the cyclists go past in one big pack and that's it. I like cycling and it's one of the sports I really want to see when the Olympics come to town in 2008 but watching cycling action in a velodrome is a lot different to seeing a pack of team ordered, faceless, machines cycle past in a big bunch.
It was also Silverstone and the British Grand Prix and Lewis Hamilton had qualified on pole which was very impressive. It's hard not to become blase at his achievements but he's an amazing talent. The race started and he managed to hold onto the lead during the first sector before coming third behind Raikkonnen (1st) and Alonso (2nd).
My cousin had come back from her 9 months of travel to South America and the Galapagos and as such had a very excuse for not having heard that there was a fourth Die Hard available to watch. My brother and I invited her out for a spot of dinner and then a film at Bluewater, which she accepted. We had a nice meal and a good chat, though I'm aware that there is still a lot for us to cover, before catching the film.
I have to say that I really enjoyed it. The action scenes were excellent and it had a nice balance of being a throwback to the earlier films yet still set in the modern world. Some of the set pieces that looked a little preposterous in the trailer worked a lot better in the context of the film including the infamous 'car into the helicopter' scene. I had expected to dislike McClane's effective 'partner' in the film who was this IT geek that McClane was protecting but I felt he came across really well. It was only his daughter that I didn't really warm to. Highlights would probably be the first shootout in the geeks apartment, the fact that the blonde French guy from District 13 is getting some hollywood recognition by playing a very useful bad guy and the moment where the F35 opens up with it's cannons on the truck that McClane is driving. Missiles and fireballs are great but the destructive force of huge shells ripping apart a big rig truck was awesome to behold. A thoroughly entertaining film, a pleasing addition to the series which is certainly better than 3 and maybe even better than 2.
Fingers crossed that Transformers delivers the goods. Thanks for listening.