26th July 2007

It seems that with numbers flagging over at http://www.italk2much.com/ one of the reviewers decided to unexpectedly re-look at my website. There was still a level of acid in the review but I think there has to be when anything is reviewed on that site to placate the bloodthirsty mob.

I'll let you make up your mind

"Yes. One of our fucktard of the week winners. I know. I have gone insane by re-reviewing it.

Anyway, the design (if you could call it that) seems pretty plain and easy to read and navigate. But I’m concentrating on the journal part and ignoring all the other (sometimes painfully long) stuff. Though there are some wicked funny shit if you sit down and really read through some of his crap.

Payne by name, if that is his real name, seems like an okay fellow. I know we didn’t like him much the first go-round bit but I think that was due to his smart-ass mouth in the comments more than his journal. He’s one to put himself out there, warts and all. I can appreciate honesty in a blog. Too many times, people really don’t put themselves out there. Payne by name does. Everything. Including (Uder his Sex category) his first ‘wank’ which was just a bit too much information for me to put it on my own blog, but everyone does it, right? Nothing to be ashamed of really.

His journal entries are long. As in, grab your lunch, get in a comfy chair, put your feet up, lock out the cats or else you’ll never make it through one. He says it is because he updates once a week, but fuck, man. That is nearing to ridiculous. I did read a good chunk of the journal entries as well as the categories on the side. At least he writes well. Mostly. He does seem to have a problem with women. Chicken shit? Fragile ego? Does he have a horn growing out of his forehead (with big boobs only, please) which he claims to love. Jesus, man. Quit being an indecisive fuck and go talk to them!

Payne by Name isn’t as horrible as I once thought…once I read more of it. It still isn’t perfect. And I hate, hate, hate blogs/journals that don’t have comments. Makes it feel so impersonal."



8th May 2007

I got a personal message through recently from a guy on a messageboard that I must have used for about the last four or five years. I'd made a post on there that had led some over to my wesbite. What he said was really nice and meant a lot to me.

I'll let you make up your own mind

"Your website...... Genius, in particular the sections on women and relationships. Just wanted you to know that I know the score; your account of Sally reminded me an awful lot of a girl I knew.  The whole mates and family saying ‘Just go out and get a girlfriend...’ Pretty much the whole lot – it’s like a mirror held to my face. Your site is like reading my own mind. In a strange way it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only male on the planet who wants to treat girls nicely, yet at the same time gets walked over and hurt each time.  

I just felt in some weird way it was needed to say well done for being so open and that as messed up as it may sound you’ve made someone realise that they aren’t the only one. I know from my own perspective that this appreciation from a chap who understands you will probably mean more than the comments from girls who are just being nice. Revel in it, you’re site has not just amused me but made me smile.... .....think about that one!"

 

9th March 2007

I recently asked a friend if she would nominate my site for a blog award on the Metro.co.uk site. I don't think my site is award worthy but attempts to get new readers are always worth pursuing. I thought it would be a simple enough task but it required the nominator to put down in 100 words their thoughts of the site. Here's what she wrote. I realise that being a friend she is probably biased but even so it's pretty impressive in my book and a very generous summation.

I'll let you make up your own mind

"Payne by name charts the weekly highs and lows of a typical 30-something British male. It's peppered with insightful, entertaining, albeit sometimes totally un-PC observations and musings of life today. PBN doesn't hold back, he readily opens up his life (and his head) to the unsuspecting reader who quickly gets to know in passing his views on all number of diverse topics. The prose is light, though not unintelligent or lightweight, and while some will be daunted by the sheer length of his entries, those that are capable of reading more than one paragraph will find treasure hidden there"

 

10th January 2007 from ?

Got this interesting critique emailed to me on 10/01/2007. Unfortunately she wasn’t brave enough to put her name to her thoughts and hence can’t receive the credit she deserves. She makes some interesting points. I say ‘bro’ not to appear gangsta but just because it’s quicker to write but maybe I’ll start referring to him now as A. 

 

I’d like women to read my site, naturally being a bloke I’m more interested in their adoration than blokes, but I don’t intend to alter who I am to attract them. I am what I am and if that only appeals to a minority of women, then so be it. She must have at least had a good read of my site to make these comments so love or hate it, it must have held her attention for some time. On a final note it’s nice to see that my legendary Spag bol is gaining notoriety.

 

I'll let you make up your own mind  

 

"My advice to you as a woman regarding your site - try not getting too descriptive with the video game jargon....most of us don't like it, nor do we understand it and that's because we don't want to; you're attempt at pretending not to care that you do not have a "significant other" is sad and tiring and your pipe dream of winning the lottery is just plain ridiculous!  Yes, a simple comment about daydreaming of being a lottery winner is cute, but your actual droning on and on about it is, pitiful.  And if I have to read one more time about your wonderful spag bol I'm gonna scream!!!  And quit calling your brother "bro"!  You aren't black and reading the word is worse than hearing fingernails being scraped across a blackboard!  Truthfully, you are coming across as a poor, often dejected man and the last thing women want is some whiney, poor, poor me guy.  You can take my comments with a grain of salt if you wish, I'm just saying........" 

 

12th December 2006 from http://soapboxjury.blogspot.com

This review site has only been going for three months. Before submitting I looked at some of the other reviews, which appeared to have been researched before comments were made. I was also hopeful that being British they might 'get' my humour a little easier. I was amazed by how much of my site they did actually read. I take onboard, as it's obviously a problem, the length of some of my rambles but drew real comfort from the second to last sentence of the review.

I'll let you make up your own mind

"Description of site: A bit of a hybrid really. Payne by Name has a diverse range of content - on the one hand we have a rolling journal of the author's comments and opinions, on the other reviews of niche subject areas such as 'women' and 'relationships'. Perhaps not a blog for women's libbers!

Appearance: Custom design. Cork-like background with a white page overlaid. Topped by a navy blue header bar with a pale yellow sidebar to the left of the page.

Organisation: Neatly organised and comprehensive entries.

Navigation and Functionality: Sidebar links and journal archive.

Advertising: None.

Comments: This is a requested review.

Wow, where do I start? This blog is rich in detail so apologies once again for my brevity of review. It has taken me an absolute age to read and my stamina was flagging by the end. It appears to be a consolidation of the author's previous work online.

I’ll only concentrate on the journal section of the site in my comments – you can have fun exploring the rest of the site yourself, but beware the tongue-in-cheek style of writing. The author is a humorous guy, but I think the dry wit and spontaneity of some of his remarks could be misinterpreted by members of the fairer sex. The author makes entries maybe 3 or 4 times every month, chronicling his life since the previous situation report.

The first few months describe the author's battle to get back into shape following an over indulgent Christmas. He takes regular trips to the swimming baths, gym and dances the night away in clubs, but I fear this aerobic exercise is cancelled out by his apparent shareholder status at McDonalds and affinity for cheeseburgers. He also likes lazy mornings, reminiscing about the past and scoping for attractive young ladies with ample bosoms.

We learn about his minor altercation with the law, the cute WPC who gives him a producer and chavish, popcorn slinging disorder in the local cinema. The entry of 27 March 2006 leaves me with a wry smile on my face, because I completely empathise with pee shyness – the overwhelming urge to take a leak, but not being able to when people are queued behind to use the facilities.

The next few months are a fairly routine mix of gym visits, swimming, clubbing and Italian dining. Nothing particularly noteworthy, although I am draw to the rant about firemen misusing public resources. The entry about Filmharmonic, billed as a musical extravaganza, which actually transpired to be a medley of obscure movie and television soundtracks, was also an educational read.

As summer approaches it’s the ideal opportunity for outdoor pursuits, sporting events and barbecuing. Paintball is also the order of the day and the author, obviously keen on the sport, recounts his skirmishes in rural Kent. We also get regular bloke's talk on football (the World Cup) and F1 motor racing. All these lazy afternoons, barbecues and beers in front of the TV is probably not the best time to be watching you diet, but the author is desperately trying to reduce his calorific intake to compliment his aerobic exercise.

The autumn nights are drawing in and the author settles down to cosy nights in front of the TV, wining and dining at Italian eateries (I see a pattern) and eyeing up a mystery girl on the way to work in the mornings. It's also a good opportunity to dig out the DVD collection and play on the games console. Next on the agenda for Payne by Name is a trip to Barcelona to check out the sights, restaurants and girls. Stay tuned for the next instalment.

I apologise that I have barely scratched the surface of Payne by Name. There is plenty of good reading, but it's not for the feint-hearted or those lacking in stamina. It's not the sort of blog you can skim over drinking a coffee – it requires attention to detail to follow all the unfurling intricacies. I personally would try and cut down the entry length, make them more focussed and post more regularly, but the author has had this advice from other reviewers already. One thing's for sure – Payne by Name is very distinctive and gives a genuine insight into the author's inner-workings and lifestyle. A solid performer, which you need to check out yourself."

 

14th September 2006 from http://iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com

Despite the rather aggressive name, this site was set up in June 2006, primarily as a counter to I talk 2 much. Their opening spiel talks about how their reviews aren't purely driven by the aesthetic, which only constitues 20% of their evaluation, but rather the content. They commented on the length and boring-ness of my site, which I take on board. The reviewer makes an interesting point when she says "it was like picking a 'What do I want to read about today in Payne's head' thingy". Isn't this a fundamental when choosing to read someone else's blog?

I'll let you make up your own mind

"Sometimes when I find I have too much time on my hands, I just sit on them. Other times I blog-scan for interesting people with neat-o things to say. Often times I am successful in entertaining myself with a well written rant or a even *gasp* a meme. I look for creativity, not so much theme. Entertainment, and not so much ho-hum. That being said, Payne by Name was a difficult website to review. Yes, I said website damnit... Because we put on our big girl panties here sometimes. Malted Balls has great big girl panties by the way - they give me panty envy.

Payne by name is a website about a man, by a man, and all things that this man thinks. He has divided himself into sub-columns and pushed himself into the World Wide Web on display... Like a zoo for his brain, only a bit more interesting.

Nothing sparked my epileptic seizures on his template like some others with flashing shit cluttering up the sidebar like a blink-fuck-a-thon megafest. In fact, his template was boring as hell with a dollop of cream. I do believe he has built his own web design with a creative engine instead of having somebody design it for him, so it is customizable to the extent of his creativity. That could say little to somebody, but it says a lot to me.

If I was scanning the web and came across this webpage, I would hit "Back" quickly... It just didn't catch me. Sorry Payne. Diving into each and every topic on his page was like picking a "What do I want to read about today in Payne's head" thingy (which sorta creeped me out). At least he gives us the choice of having a happy read, or a sad read... So, variety is the spice of life.

If I was Payne's buddy and I wanted to read his most recent "Bitch or Banter" where would I do that? Would I have to guess? Do I have to call him? Check in once a week? So many questions. I suppose, in a way, he has this outlet for himself and anybody else interested in knowing about him. I could see this as a plus... But, I just can't see this being a memorable site I would like to bookmark unless I was sleeping with him.

The content and writing style is a whole 'nother subject. I opted not to read the tremendously long pieces but reveled in the shorter rants, observations, and gallery. Plus, I liked the women tab... It's always good to know what a man thinks of women.

Now if I could only figure out what he was thinking. Really, what language are you speaking dude?
"Arsehole blokes who act like twats in club, pubs and cinemas or the silly slags that hang around with them, massaging their ego, giggling at their idiocy and making them believe that acting that way is ok because you will still get girls."

HA. He said twat. *laughs hysterically, throws paper airplane at wall and says "twat" aloud*

Payne, it's like this. Try and spice your template a bit. Make your homepage a bit more "drawing" so that people actually WANT to know about you. Check the length on your additions and continue to say it like you mean it.

You are pure unadulterated person and that is refreshing because you beg not to be something you're not when you write, and you don't try too hard. It's just kind of unfortunate that they get bored before they have a chance to dazzle a bit."

 

10th August 2006 from www.italk2much.com

This website seems to have been going for some time and I confess they've reviewed a hell of a lot of blogs so there was a little trepidation about submitting mine. I knew it wasn't all razzle and dazzle but having seeing previous reviewer comments about over cluttered layouts and content being king thought that might like something about it.

How wrong was I. I don't think they read the irony in what was then my opening statement, could comprehend my style of writing or even notice that I was English or understand my self depracatory tone. In short I wasn't an empowered female who littered my site with expletives to demonstrate this or a crowd pleasing male who was desperate to exhibit bitch-slappin, gangsta cred.

I'll let you make up your own mind.

"On the homepage, the first thing you’ll see here is the following quote: 'Why not have your own web page someone said to me'
I’ve got a couple of reasons why:
1) You’re a crappy writer
2) You have no concept of punctuation
3) You’re obviously a serial killer

Anyway, this is one of those suckass sites that insists upon having an “introductory page” to let you know just what you’re in for. Um… why? Everyone on this planet with a computer has a blog, trust me, this isn’t exactly groundbreaking. Then there’s links for a journal and then there are 17 (!) different categories of shit.

Everything is long-winded, delusional and completely and utterly pointless. Honestly, this guy seems… unstable, like the guy who stares at you all night at a bar and then finally musters the balls to come and ask you to go to his family reunion in Mississippi with him. Not that anything like that has ever happened to me…

Constructive Criticism? Get the hell over yourself - if you were as amazing and insightful as you think you are, you’d be getting laid once in a while."